Burn Me Once

12 Jun

There is a saying, “Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice, shame on me.” The meaning is pretty obvious – when someone hurts us the first time, it’s on them. But if we let them hurt us a second time, it’s on us. That’s true sometimes, but not always. It’s generally more complex than this. As people, we aren’t really that predictable, and there are always complications. We can be in situations where we get hurt, but because of the relationship dynamic, we allow the person who hurt us to remain close enough to hurt us again. Sometimes it’s because they are related to us, and cutting them off isn’t really a viable option. Sometimes it’s because we love them, and have faith in them. Sometimes it’s because we have a relationship with them that’s important to our lives. And sometimes, it’s because we’re afraid to let them go.

People make mistakes all the time. I make them, and you make them. We aren’t perfect, and we falter. It’s the normal course of things as we learn. We run into problems when we make the same mistakes over and over, or we allow others to hurt us the same way again and again. Relationships aren’t always easy, and the decisions we make in them are not always black or white. Sometimes it’s unclear how we should proceed. Sometimes we aren’t sure. We don’t want to be hurt again, but we don’t know how to go forward. And sometimes it’s easier to pretend that everything is okay even when we’re not happy. The problem with pretending is that it isn’t reality, and eventually that catches up with us. When that happens, we have to face the true situation head on.

We deserve the very best from ourselves, and from those around us. We won’t always give it, or get it, but we can try to do our part. If we offend someone we care about, we need to recognize what we’ve done, and make it right. And the same is true for those around us. However, sometimes those who have offended us are not aware of our feelings. When that happens, it’s up to us to tell them what’s going on. We can do it calmly, and politely. We will get the point across more effectively if we are not angry when we have the discussion. Then if the offense happens again, if we are hurt again, we can decide if we want to continue the relationship. It’s not easy to change relationships, but it isn’t impossible. We are the ones in control of our lives. If we are getting hurt, and we do nothing, we will be unhappy. We deserve to be happy. We deserve the very best.

Today if you’re being hurt, speak up. Explain how you feel, and do your part to improve the relationship. If nothing changes, and you continue to be hurt, remember that you are valuable. You deserve to be happy. Make the best choice possible to ensure that you will be. Happiness is a gift we give to ourselves. Give it to yourself today. You deserve it.

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Just As You Are

11 Jun

Today there is a lot of pressure on us to be perfect. We’re bombarded with messages that we have to be fit, and look good. We have to eat a certain way. All our relationships need to be happy. We have to wear nice clothes, style our hair in the latest trend, and have money in the bank. We must look young, and vibrant at every age. These messages are constant in the media all around us every day. The goal is perfection, but nobody is perfect. Since we aren’t perfect, we may question ourselves. Are we doing enough? Are we trying hard enough? Why aren’t we enough just as we are? It’s exhausting. Somewhere the world went crazy, and perfection became the new expectation. But perfection is just a goal. In this life, it’s not the achievement.

It’s easy to feel like we are less than we should be up against such high standards. It’s easy to feel bad, and think we don’t measure up, when in fact, we’re probably just fine. Our standards should be set by us. We need to determine what we want our lives to be like, and what they should look like. Nobody is living our lives but us. We get to custom make them, and decide how they work. We can set our own goals as high as we like. We can do anything, but we should do what we want to do, and not what others think we should do. It’s okay if we’re average height, average weight, average intelligence, and have an average sized bank account. We can strive for more if we want, but wherever we are, we can be happy. We’re fine where we are. In fact, we’re perfectly fine.

Our lives can be anything we want them to be, and they never have to match someone else’s ideas. If we let others decide how we should live, we will never figure out what we really want. And discovering what we really want for ourselves is the first step to true happiness. We will be happy if we are living our lives our way, and we all deserve to be happy.

Today, be who you are. Ignore all the messages that you have to be more, do more, and look a certain way. If you want to change something, make a plan and change it. If you’re happy with things the way they are, enjoy yourself. This is your time to make the most of your life. Do it your way. Nobody can live your life better than you. You know exactly how it should go. And when you’re doing it your way, nothing will stop you from getting what you want. The end of the rainbow does not have a pot of gold. You have it every day you choose to be happy. Today, make that choice. Be happy. You are perfect just as you are.

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One of a Kind

10 Jun

There are about 10,000 species of birds on our planet, and over 2500 different types of butterflies. There are millions of different animals, and countless varieties of insects, and bugs. The variety in the wildlife kingdom is astounding. It’s amazing to think of the vast array of living things that inhabit our planet. Even the ordinary dog encompasses hundreds of different breeds. And they are all unique – every one of them.

This earth is an amazing place. If we traveled to every location on the planet we would see unique, and interesting animals at each stop. They come in every color imaginable, in every shape, and in every design we could possibly dream up. There are so many different kinds of creatures, there are limitless designs, and each one is unique unto itself. It’s amazing really. But that’s not the most impressive thing about living here on earth. The most impressive part is that there are over seven BILLION people here with us. They come is all colors as well, each fascinating in his or her own way, each perfectly unique, and one of a kind. Billions of us. And, just like the other creatures inhabiting our planet, there is nothing common or ordinary about us. Not one single person is exactly like the other. No matter where we go, we will never find anyone else exactly like us.

All of these differences are a great blessing to us. Imagine what it would be like if all the animals were the same. Only one kind of mammal, one kind of bird, one kind of butterfly, and so on. And then imagine we were all the same. We all looked exactly alike, our personalities were the same, and everything about us mirrored the person beside us. It would be so boring! I’ve heard people say, “If everyone would just do things my way, it would be so much easier.” And it might be. Although our differences can sometimes bring us disagreement, and conflict, those differences are sacred. They make us who we are. They give life depth, and meaning. There are so many varieties of people, how we look, how we speak, how we dress, and how we act. And all those varieties make all the difference.

Today, no matter where you live, as you walk or ride from place to place, look around. Look at whatever animals are around, and notice their uniqueness. Then look around at all the people, and see how amazingly different they are. Feel the pleasure that comes as you notice their individuality. And remember that you are amazing, and unique to others. You are perfectly filling the space you were created for. You are special. The world is different because you are here. There is nobody else like you. You’re exactly as you should be. You are one of a kind. And that’s a perfect design.

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Wide Load

9 Jun

Have you ever seen a truck on the road carrying something very large with a sign on it saying, “Wide Load”? There are generally some red flags attached to alert other drivers, warning them that whatever is being transported is wider than general allowances, and to beware. Maybe you’ve seen houses being moved like this. Once I saw an airplane being transported this way. It’s not a common occurrence, but it comes up from time to time. The vehicles carrying these large objects must drive more slowly to ensure that nothing falls apart, and they reach their destination securely. It’s a wide load, and it requires careful attention.

In our lives, sometimes big things come up that require our careful attention. There may be a lot to address, and we may become overwhelmed. We have a “wide load” of concern and it’s beyond our normal circumstance. When that happens we may feel the burden is too heavy, it’s too much to face, or we’re not strong enough to get through it. We may feel surrounded by worry, and the stress of processing the problem, whatever it is, can seem extraordinarily daunting. It’s a hard place. We all go there from time to time, but experiences in hard places don’t always make the return to another one an easy trip. Sometimes it’s a real struggle.

No matter what comes to us, we can handle it if we take it step by step. There is no problem so vast that we can’t solve it, but in complicated situations, we probably aren’t going to solve it all at once. We have to face it one step at a time. Big issues simply cannot be resolved in one stroke. It may take a while to unravel things, and figure out how to go forward. But it’s not a contest to see how quickly we can solve the issue. It’s not a speed race. We can peel it back, one layer at a time, and work the problem inch by inch. We have to be patient, put out the red flags, and proceed slowly to keep everything together. If we take our time, process it one piece at a time, there is nothing we can’t manage.

Today if you have a big issue you’re dealing with, a complex problem you need to work out, take just one step toward the resolution. Figure out one piece of the puzzle and work that out. Then, take another step, and figure out the next piece. Before you know it, you will have your answers, and solve the problem. It may take time, but you’re carrying a wide load, and nobody can do that at full speed. You will succeed if you go slowly. You will reach the destination. It’s just a matter of time.

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Leaving a Mark

8 Jun

If you walk through the woods in an area where nobody has been in a long time, the trail may be undisturbed. Once you step on it, it will be changed because you were there. Your footsteps will leave a mark. The leaves will shift a bit, and the dirt will hold the imprint of your feet. There will be evidence of your presence. That evidence will remain undisturbed until someone new steps over your prints, but even then, they will not completely eradicate your impression. It will remain. Even though it may be altered, your presence will still be evident.

As we go through our lives, we are taking footsteps at each turn. And everything we do, everyone we see, every decision we make leaves an imprint – a mark that remains after we’re gone. It is impossible to live on earth and not make an impression. We cannot escape it. We are not invisible or weightless. We are here, tangible and interacting. Whatever we do changes things. Good or bad, we will leave a mark.

It’s important, therefore, that we take some time to think about the impact we are making. Are we a positive influence? Are we doing things that make the world better? Are we leaving the imprints of a life full of good choices? Or are we destroying the path with anger and strife? Are we churning up the dirt with disharmony and conflict? If we’re doing negative things, we may try to use others to cover our tracks, to hide where we’ve been, or what we’ve done. That may work for a while, but eventually, the marks we leave will return to us. After all, they were made by our footsteps – our choices – and there is no way to change that.

Our days are filled with decisions. Choices that will bring happiness or sorrow, goodness or grief, success or failure. Sometimes its easy to see what results our choices will bring, but other times it’s harder to discern, so it’s important to ponder before we choose. Easy or difficult, our choices are ours to make. We can choose to do whatever we want, for any reason we like. But we must remember in every choice, that we are leaving an imprint. We are leaving our mark, and we own the results of each choice.

Today, before you decide, remember that you will leave your mark behind. Choose carefully so the impressions you leave are exactly where you want them to be, and say exactly what you want them to say. Today, before you decide, take a moment to reflect. Your footprints are yours to make. But after you take that step, it will last forever. It will last forever. Your decisions are the evidence that you were here. You’re going to leave a mark. Make it a good one.

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