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Undone

11 Oct

Conflict is a normal part of life. We’re all different and our ideas about how things should go are specific to our own experiences and desires. Although we may agree with others on some things, there will likely be times when what we want is in direct opposition to the thoughts of those around us. If the decision doesn’t impact us or have a lasting affect on our lives, we may politely disagree and let it go. But if it has a big influence over what we’re doing or stops us from where we want to go, we may get into an intense situation as we push for our views to be accepted and refuse to move toward the other side. Severe disagreement may create anger that might overtake us if we aren’t careful. We may become completely undone and lose control if the issue is extremely important to us and we cannot abide the idea of letting it go. Unfortunately, if anger takes over we may act out in ways that deteriorate the discussion and lose our ability to convince the other side to consider our viewpoint. It can be hard to be calm when we feel we’re losing something very important. It can be hard to listen to the other side and try to understand their position. But ranting and raving, raising our voices or in other ways impacting the situation negatively will never get us what we want. It’s impossible to bring others over to our side by making them feel bad. We are always in control of our behavior – good or bad. When we’re facing difficult situations and feel our emotions start to rise, we can step back and take an objective view of things. There are always possible compromises and if we keep our heads we’ll find them. We can achieve any goal we desire by staying focused and work through any complications that arise. Everything is possible if we are willing to find the way through.

Some people love to argue. They like the intensity of heated discussion and the chance to prove they are right, no matter what the issue is. Arguing for the sake of arguing rarely brings any benefit to those involved. Plenty of conflict will present itself without trying to invent more. It’s better to diffuse it when we it arises and find a way forward that includes everyone’s input. There are always many ways to do anything and we can find an inclusive and supportive road going forward.

There will be times when no matter what we say or how convincing we are, we will not get our way. We may have to change our focus and do things differently than we prefer. Being flexible and willing to go another way takes patience and self-control. Although we may not be on the road we want, we are creative enough to find our way forward. There are endless roads to every destination and we can find our way ahead even if we must take a detour to get there.

Today if you’re in a situation that feels impossible and you’re in opposition to what you’re being asked, try to be flexible and find a compromise that will work. There are endless possibilities available and you’ll find one that fits. Be patient with compromise and keep your eyes focused on your goals. Everything is possible and you will reach the destination you seek.

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Don’t Look

24 Sep

When children are young they don’t yet understand how the world works or what is real.  They hide their eyes and think we can’t see them, or tell us not to look when they’re doing something they aren’t supposed to thinking we won’t know what’s happening.  Very young children believe not seeing something means it isn’t there.  Of course, as we grow and begin to understand reality we learn that just because we can’t see something doesn’t make it disappear.  What is real remains even if we don’t look at it or pretend it isn’t there.  Most of the time we accept that but if something is happening that’s hard to face we may turn away and pretend it isn’t there.  Hiding out can never change reality.  Truth exists whether we face it or not.  There will be times when the truth is painful or what we’re seeing seems unbelievable but that cannot alter what is real.  Looking away or ignoring a problem or serious development will never help us move forward.  It may be difficult at first, but we can look at every situation openly and see it exactly as it is.  We can accept even very difficult situations and then determine what we must do to navigate through them.  Hard times will come, painful situations will arise, and we may feel confused and unsure at the beginning, but if we hold tight to our confidence and trust our ability to get through whatever lies before us, we will prevail.  We can see everything as it is and find our way through.  There is nothing too difficult for us to untangle and all the answers we need will always be there for us.

There are unlimited developments that may happen to us.  What seems impossible may become our reality.  Millions of things are happening all around us that we know nothing about that may affect our lives.  We can try our best to ensure the road ahead is clear and uncomplicated, and still things will go wrong.  If we are unwilling to bend when the road turns or cannot face what is happening we’ll get stuck where we are.  What has happened cannot be changed and becomes part of our experience.  We must move forward from where we are even if that isn’t where we want to be.  Denying the truth will only hold us in place until we’re ready to accept it and move on.

If would be great if we could simply make a wish and all our dreams would come true.  But wishes aren’t reality and when things go wrong and our situation is hard to navigate even our deepest wishes won’t change anything.  We are where we are now and nothing can take us back.  Choosing to see the situation clearly as it truly is and set our wishes aside will help us find the way through.  We are stronger and more capable than we realize.  We can do anything and do it well.  Every challenge brings us more strength and understanding, and helps us learn new skills to take forward.

Today if your situation has changed and you’re somewhere you never wanted to go, if you’re confused about what to do next and feel unsure, trust yourself.  You’ve faced many challenges already and prevailed.  You have everything you need to move ahead successfully.  Be confident.  All the answers are there for you.  Step forward and the road will open.  Every dream is still possible and you will find the way.

Different Color

15 Aug

It’s easy to be around people who are like us.  If they have similar values, see the world in basically the same way we do and share our views of what’s right and wrong, it’s easy to be around them and share our lives with them.  But everyone is different and even if we’re sure our way of thinking is best for us, it’s foolish to believe it’s the way everyone else should live.  There are endless ideas and expressions possible and we all form our own views based on what we’ve experienced and what we want to gain.  What’s important to us may mean nothing to someone else.  It doesn’t mean either is wrong.  It’s just a difference in interpretation.  If we draw a hard line in the sand and require others to be like us in order to have a relationship with us, we may have a very lonely life.  We all have some things in common – we’re human beings, our basic needs are the same and we’re sharing the earth at the same time.  Other differences don’t change those parameters.  A horse of a different color is still a horse after all.  But everything else for us may be different than those around us and that’s fine.  We are unique and our expressions and desires are specific to our personal experience.  As long as nobody is getting hurt, allowing others to express themselves according to their own wishes is wise.  We may not understand their viewpoint but we can respect their right to it and honor their choices.  We don’t have to do anything that isn’t right for us and can follow our own specific paths.  As we do we can walk beside others who are taking a different road and create friendships despite the difference.

Hatred is a caustic emotion.  It never brings peace or anything of value to us.  Hating others because they are different than we are will never bring us happiness.  Even if we have no understanding of why someone would choose something we can understand and accept their right to make the decision.  We don’t have to agree or support anything that is contrary to our personal values but we can’t impose our beliefs on others.  We all have the right to live our lives any way we choose.  Respecting that right will help us clarify where we stand and define the paths we want to take.

Our personal experiences are unique to us.  Nobody is living our lives but us and nobody else is privy to the insight and understanding we gain as we go through different passages.  We can be confident in our choices and sure of our decisions.  It doesn’t matter if everyone else is going left, we can turn right if it’s right for where we are.  There are limitless roads to travel and the ones we choose are up to us.  We are unique and perfect in our own way.  Honoring that uniqueness in ourselves and others will bring us true and complete happiness.

Today if you’re confused about the decisions made by others around you, remember you only have insight into your own life.  Your experiences are unique to you and you can make any choices you like.  Honor the same in others and your life will be enriched.  We’re all different.  You are perfect in your own way.  Be welcoming to others and show the world your best.

Changing the World

20 Jul

Everyone is different and there are endless interpretations to everything we do, see, and experience. We all have our own ideas about how things should be and what is right. If we feel strongly about something and someone disagrees it may be difficult to accept their viewpoint and opinions. In an effort to convert them to our side we may speak loudly and forcefully trying to make them listen. If they don’t follow along and we’re angry, we may belittle them, criticize them, call them names or insinuate they are too stupid to see what to us is the correct point of view. There is nothing noble in demeaning others for any reason and nothing can be gained by diminishing their value. Being disrespectful and rude doesn’t elevate anyone and reduces us. We’re entitled to our own ideas and opinions but it’s inappropriate and destructive to demand that others agree with them. Each of us is unique and our decisions are ours to make. To punish those who disagree with us will never bring us happiness but will only increase suffering and disharmony, and ruin relationships. The only way to effectively influence others is through patience, kindness, inclusion and acceptance. We have the power to change the world but only by setting the example for love and charity will we prevail. Nothing is more powerful than a loving and understanding attitude. When we are accepting and kind people will be drawn to us and we can share our lives with them.

Opinions vary and we can respect the right of everyone to believe what they choose and live their lives according to their own values and desires. It may be hard for us to understand their viewpoint but we don’t have to understand everything to be accepting. We can be respectful and kind and if we disagree we may share our opinions and ideas. We’re all different and when we clash there may be conflict. We have the power to diffuse any tension through kindness and a welcoming attitude. Being patient when there is disagreement and listening openly to every idea will pave the way to friendship and inclusion.

It’s impossible to push people into agreeing with us. Everyone has their own ideas and can live their lives any way they choose. We can express what we believe and exhibit how our beliefs are beneficial. We can lead by example and display goodness and nobility, and with patience and love bring others close. There is greatness in us and by showing it to the world through kindness and charity, especially in conflict, we will prevail.

Today if you’ve been pressuring others to listen to you and trying to get them to accept your viewpoint, remember gentleness and kindness will open the doors. Be patient and loving and accept other opinions. Express your respect and love to those around you and they will draw close to you and feel your influence. Acceptance will give you power and charity will bring you success. You have the power to change the world. Be the best you can be and set the example for good.

Knowing and Hoping

5 Jan

As we interact with others, either in our personal relationships or in passing, we learn how they respond to different situations and what we can expect from them.  It’s helpful to recognize their patterns and choices and have a clear expectation of their behaviors.  But sometimes we may hope their expected responses will change in ways that are better for them or will fit into our needs more effectively.  They say hope springs eternal, and in some ways it does.  If someone we’re close to often makes bad decisions and those decisions hurt them and those around them, we may hope they will change and our hope may make us believe something that isn’t real.  We must always be willing to face things as they are and understand we can only control our own lives and the decisions we make.  Even if we know what is best, even if we are sure we know the right way forward, if it’s someone else’s decision to make we have no control over the end result.  It takes a lot of energy to try to control situations that belong to someone else and no matter how much we put into our efforts, if the decisions aren’t ours to make, we will not change the outcome.  It’s best to step back, see the facts clearly, hope for the best, and then accept whatever choices are made.  We can control our lives any way we desire while allowing others to do the same and make their own choices despite what we hope for them.  Doing so will give us the freedom to move forward on our own road while still being available when needed.

When we love someone who is doing something destructive, it’s hard to stand by and watch as things go wrong.  We may offer counsel and advice if they are receptive, but then we must step back and let them make the decisions they desire.  It’s very hard to watch those we love suffer, especially if we are sure we know how to fix the situation.  We all learn from the things we experience, and ultimately every lesson must come from within.  We can let go and allow those around us to make their own choices and learn their own lessons, despite what we hope they will choose.

Facts may tell us all about how something works, how it looks, or what we can expect it to do but they can never predict our personal reactions and how they will affect us.  We really don’t know a stove is hot unless we touch it.  Until then it’s undefined information.  The same is true in our lives.  Most of what we do is done through trial and error.  We learn from the things we experience and those we love learn the same way.  It takes some of us more time than others, and we all take different roads on the journey.  We can hope for the best, while understanding and accepting whatever comes.  Life is a great teacher that allows each of us to learn our own way.  We can walk beside those around us, and let them choose their own path forward.

Today if you’re hoping someone you love will make a positive choice, do what you can to set a good example.  Be there to offer help when needed and let them choose for themselves.  Share your life with them while focusing on your own journey forward.  Live your life well and let your success light the way.

Grounded

9 Jun

We can do a lot of things well and accomplish many goals throughout our lives.  When we have sufficient determination and time we can generally get to most desired destinations.  But sometimes we may try to accomplish something and no matter what we do can’t seem to move forward.  When we struggle and push and still can’t get ahead it’s very frustrating.  Life is complicated and we don’t always know everything when we begin a journey.  If we truly cannot achieve what we’ve set out to do right now it doesn’t mean we have failed.  We can look at the situation objectively, see what the problem is and then revise our plans.  We may need additional information or we may need to wait until we are in a different place in our lives.  Although it’s important to try our best to reach our goals, there is no value in trying over and over again to accomplish something that cannot be accomplished right now.  Recognizing limits is important.  If we simply cannot move forward no matter what we’ve tried the timing may be wrong or we may need to wait until our circumstances have changed.  If the destination is out of reach now we can set it aside and do other things and try again later.  All planes get grounded from time to time.  Once we see what is needed to move forward we may begin again.  We don’t have to stay grounded forever.  We have everything we need to be successful and continue forward.

We only have control over our personal decisions and what we do.  Sometimes when we’re trying to accomplish something and others are involved, their decisions may derail us and push us off track.  If we must have the agreement of others to move forward and that is not forthcoming we may be stopped in our tracks and unable to progress.  If we can’t bring them into agreement we may need to find a way around them to continue forward.  If that isn’t possible it may be necessary to set the goal aside until things change.  Life is fluid and ever changing and in time our circumstances will adjust and we’ll be able to start again.

Unpredictable complications are always a factor.  We can’t know what we don’t know and sometimes there is more to the story than we are aware when we start out.  Others may keep facts from us, things may develop that stop our progress or our lives may change in such a way that we can’t continue forward at this time.  When those things happen we can revise our plans to accommodate whatever has happened and decide how we want to proceed.  We can wait if we need to and do other things until our situation changes.  Life is long and a road that is blocked today may well be clear in the days ahead.  We can prepare for the future and be ready when the time is right to start again.

Today if you’ve been working hard on accomplishing something and no matter what you do can’t move forward, stop and look at the situation openly and completely.  Revise you plans if you need to and if the timing is wrong, set the goal aside and work on other things.  Be patient and continue forward.  Although you may have to wait, eventually everything you desire will come.

What It Is

3 May

We face countless situations and complications as we go through our lives.  Although we have everything we need to face anything that comes to us, there may be times when what’s happening is so far from what we want we may struggle to accept it.  We can only control how we act and what we do.  Sometimes things happen to us over which we have no authority or power to change.  If they are disagreeable or completely outside of what we want in our lives it may be difficult to accept.  We can fight against the situation and push hard to try and change it but if nothing we do alters our reality eventually we will have to deal with it as it is.  Facing what is real is the only way to live genuinely and find true happiness.  We may be unhappy about something, we may disagree with what’s going on and our frustration may overwhelm us. If we want to understand our lives completely we must look straight at them and see clearly what is real.  We can accept what cannot be changed, even if it’s something we don’t want.  Our power is infinite over our own lives and we can move forward toward any destination we choose.  If something stands in our way we can find another road forward.  No matter what has developed, no matter how much we want things to change, and no matter how hard it is to keep moving, we can accept what is real and find a way forward.

Denial never works for long.  It may distract us for a time and allow us to look away from something unpleasant but it changes nothing.  It holds us in place and the longer we embrace it, the longer we must wait to find our way through.  It’s like treading water in the middle of a turbulent sea.  It will hold us up for now but if we don’t do something to move forward we will continually struggle.  It takes far more energy to deny what is happening in our lives than it does to simply accept things as they are and then plan our way forward.  We have enough wisdom and insight to figure out any problem that comes to us and solve it in ways that benefit us going forward.

Sometimes when things are difficult, instead of looking at the situation openly we may try to dress it up or paint it in ways that make it look different.  No matter what we do to change the way something looks, it will remain.  If you paint a cow pink it’s still a cow.  Instead of putting a pretty picture on a difficult situation we can determine to face it head on, look at all the complications and then find a positive way through.  There isn’t anything too difficult for us to solve and we have all the courage we need to successfully navigate any problem.  We can see things as they are and then proactively decide what we want to do and where we want to go.

Today if you’re in a difficult situation and you don’t want to look at it, open your eyes and see it clearly.  Learn all you can to find your way forward.  Complications will come but you have everything you need to overcome them.  You are courageous and strong.  Be faithful and trust yourself.  You can face anything and you will succeed.