Archive | October, 2016

Giving In

27 Oct

Most of us like to be helpful. We try to be available when others need us or we offer assistance when we see someone struggling. We want to be there for our friends and family and be supportive. But there may be some who take advantage of us and create situations where we feel uncomfortable. Sometimes it’s because they lack personal boundaries and there are no limits to what they will ask. If they lie to us to get to their objective, we may get tangled up in situations that are difficult and confusing. If they are close friends, family, or loved ones, and this becomes a pattern we may get hurt. If we believe in promises that never become reality and continue to trust them to follow through despite what we’ve experienced, we may find ourselves unsettled and miserable when we deal with them. It can be hard to say no to someone close to us even if we know we may get hurt. There is an old saying that “Hope springs eternal,” and in our personal relationships that is often true. Even if someone has disappointed us many times we may hope the next time will be different. We may trust them to change even if there is no evidence a change is coming.

We are entitled to be happy. We deserve the best life we can create for ourselves. We can understand and clearly define our personal boundaries and when someone steps over them, we can back up. Being in control of our lives and decisions is our responsibility. If someone close to us continually abuses our trust, manipulates us to get what they want, or doesn’t follow through on their promises, we may step back and disengage from them. We don’t have to end our relationship but we can define what we will not do and hold fast to our decision. It’s impossible to change anyone but ourselves. We can’t make others follow through, and we can’t make them honest. But we can control what we do at every turn. If we are asked to do something that makes us uncomfortable we can say no.  If we are promised something we are sure will not happen, we can refuse to believe it. We can stay in our relationships and still honor our boundaries so we are happy.

Some people define love as doing everything others want. They try to make everyone happy and are uncomfortable expressing anything different from those around them. But we are all unique and it’s impossible to make everyone else happy. The world is a big place and there isn’t anyone else exactly like us. We don’t always have to agree or act a certain way to be loved. We deserve love just because we’re here. We can define what works for us and we can say no when we need to. If we are clear about our decisions those around us will know our true selves and respect us for our honesty. We never have to go along or give in if we don’t want to. We can be kind and patient, loving and supportive, and still say no.

Today if you’ve been going along in a situation that is making you uncomfortable, you may say no. You offer so much to the world and we are all blessed because you’re here. You can do what is best for you. You’re in control of your life and you can choose how you live it. Make your best decisions today and happiness will follow.

Topping Off

25 Oct

Sometimes when someone offers us something delicious to drink we want a full glass and ask them to top it off. We want them to go all the way to the rim to get the most out of the experience. It’s great to get a full measure of something we really enjoy. Each drop is delightful and having a full glass is pleasing. But there are other times when things aren’t going well and we feel overwhelmed. When we don’t think we can handle any more complications and something else goes wrong we may feel like we’re tapped out. Topping off our glass of misery isn’t where we want to be. We may think we can’t handle any more problems and are at the point of breaking. However, no matter how hard the challenge we’re facing becomes or how many disappointments we must endure we have reserves equal to our needs. Even if we feel we have nothing left and are pressed further we will find the courage and strength to get through. We are really much stronger than we think we are. Hard times come to us all and even when we don’t think we can face them, we march through them. And as we overcome each obstacle and carry the heavy weight of endurance we become stronger and learn more about ourselves.

Serious disappointments, extreme loss, and acute sorrow are difficult burdens to bear. We may be stunned by the situations we must face and feel there is no way we can survive them. At the beginning of an extremely difficult challenge we may be sure it will overcome us and have no idea how to navigate through it. But as we take each step forward, moment by moment, we will find our way and gain more strength to face the problem. Desperation may fill our minds from time to time but we can calm it by reaching for the reserves of courage deep within us. There really is nothing too difficult for us to overcome and time is on our side. We can face any problem step by step and unravel our way back to peace of mind.

The old saying, “No pain, no gain” is often true. Resistance brings strength. Each time we face and overcome something difficult we become stronger. Although we don’t look forward to facing hard times and nobody wants to suffer, the pressure it takes to overcome difficult challenges is what clarifies our strengths and defines our courage. We are capable of facing anything that comes to us. We can reach deep inside ourselves and find all the determination and fortitude we need to overcome any problem we must face. There is nothing too difficult for us and we can be successful in every challenge.

Today if you’re facing something very hard and feel you can’t manage it, you can. You are much stronger and more capable than you imagine. You have everything you need to face whatever comes. You are invincible and powerful. Reach deep for the courage you need. Walk forward and look ahead. Success is waiting for you.

The Choice is Yours

24 Oct

We all have the ability to make whatever decisions we choose.  We can direct our lives and decide which roads we want to take.  But sometimes those close to us or those with authority over us have different ideas about what we should do.  They may voice their opinions and hope we’ll change our minds, and if we don’t may bring pressure to bear until we give in.  We may ultimately choose a path we don’t want because it’s important to someone we care about, or we are forced because of circumstance, or we are tired of the disagreement and just want to move forward even if it’s in a direction we haven’t chosen.  We may give up trying to explain our point of view and simply take the path we’re pressured to take.  Sometimes those choices will work out and sometimes we’ll end up somewhere we don’t want to be and will have to backtrack and find our way again.  We all have personal inspiration about our lives and we know what’s best for us.  Even if everyone else thinks we should go one way, we can still choose the path we determine we need to take.  It isn’t comfortable to be in conflict with those around us but if we are steadfast and respectful of our differences we may proceed with confidence and in time the conflict will resolve.

When we follow along with decisions we haven’t chosen and things go well we may feel great relief and learn new things that help us going forward.  There are limitless paths we can travel and if we end up on foreign territory we may feel unsettled and unsure.  But each step we take moves us forward and if we are headed to the goal we’re seeking, even if it’s in a different direction than we would have chosen, we will find success.  We never know what we don’t know and sometimes those around us have more information and can see more clearly going forward.  If we are following along we will find new experiences as we go and once the goal is reached our understanding of the situation will be enriched.  Sometimes it doesn’t matter which way we travel as long as we reach the right destination.

However, sometimes after agreeing to take a path we didn’t choose things go wrong.  There may be difficult complications we may have avoided or roadblocks that require us to start again and again.  It’s easy at times like that to imagine our choice would have been better but the fact is, we are living our choice.  If we decide to go along with someone else’s ideas instead of our own, we choose to take what comes.  We have all the power we need to direct our lives and we own every decision we make.  If we go along with others and things go badly we own the road just as much as those who pressured us into taking it.  We can be honest about our part in the decision no matter what happens.  If things go wrong we can work to find the right direction and correct our course.

Today if you’re being pressured to go one way and you want to go another you may make the decision that is best for you.  You may choose your own path or go along with something else.  But remember the decision is yours.  Use your best judgment and choose the path that’s best for you.  You have everything you need to find success.

New Roads

20 Oct

As we go through our lives we attend to many things. We may have a family, a career, a business, and plans for the future, and many of us stay quite busy. Sometimes as we grow and change we find the life we’re living isn’t bringing us the happiness we desire. Maybe our dreams have changed. Maybe our situation has made things different. Maybe we’re bored and want to try something new. We may decide to completely change our direction in order to be happy. We may turn all the way around and go another way on a new road. We can certainly change anything in our lives but turning our course takes determination and resolve. New roads are uncharted territory. We have no idea what lies ahead but there is nothing we can’t face and overcome and if we want a change we can surely have it. We can turn and reroute our lives in a new direction. If we do, those around us may not understand our decision and may try to dissuade us. It’s easier to keep things as they are and many people prefer the status quo. But we don’t need anyone’s permission or approval to make personal decisions in our lives. If we want to go another way, we can.

When we’re young we have all kinds of dreams about how our lives will go. Many of those dreams fade as we grow into adulthood and hear again and again that we should be sensible and think of the future. It’s wise to plan for the future and using common sense is in our best interest. We may follow everyone else’s advice about what we should do and where we should go. But if we want something different and we don’t feel like those plans fit, we can change and go another way. Even if we’ve been on the same road for years, and even if everyone thinks we’re doing great, if we aren’t truly happy we can change. We are in control of our lives and deserve to be happy. Choosing a road that will bring happiness is up to us.

Sometimes the life we want most doesn’t look like the regular plan, or is different than what others think we need. It really doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks our lives should look like. What matters is that we live our lives our own way. We all deserve to be truly happy and we can only achieve that if we are true to ourselves. Our dreams and desires are unique to each of us and we are entitled to them even if they don’t fit the norm. We can take another road at any time. Every moment is precious and we can make the most of them by being true to who we are and what we want. Our lives belong to us and we may design them any way we choose. We can do things our way and we can be happy. It doesn’t matter how long we’ve traveled the road we’re on. If we want to turn and try a new one, we can.

Today if you feel like you’re on the wrong road and want a change you can choose a new direction. You can do anything you want. You have all the wisdom you need to make the best choices going forward. You deserve complete happiness. Find the road that will bring it to you and begin the journey.

It’s Not My Fault

18 Oct

We have many experiences every single day and sometimes our lives don’t exactly go the way we planned or the way we most want them to. When things go wrong because we run late, we miss an appointment, we overextend ourselves, or we drop the ball on a responsibility, it’s tempting to say “It’s not my fault,” and then blame the circumstance or someone else involved. Sometimes things really are out of our control and we aren’t responsible for the result, but other times, although we may want to blame someone else, the problem lies with us. When we are the reason things go wrong it’s best to accept our part in the problem and then find a way to fix it. There is great blessing in understanding personal responsibility. It’s a gift that enables us to find our way and clarify our path forward more successfully. When we fully acknowledge exactly what we’re doing when we falter we can learn how to be more successful in reaching our goals. Nobody gets everything right every time. We all take left turns from time to time. Understanding when we’ve failed to follow through and learning from the experience helps us become more honest with ourselves and those around us. And that honesty allows us to see where we need to change to find greater success.

It’s easy to point our fingers outward when things go awry. There are countless excuses we may offer and some of them may be valid. But even if our excuse is valid, we are still responsible for the promise we made. If we own our responsibility, and claim obligation over it we will often find a way to complete it as promised. Our ability to follow through on our promises reflects who we truly are. If we take them lightly and offer excuses when we drop the ball, we may lose the trust of those around us. But if we do all we can to honor them, making no excuses for failure, others will know they can depend on us.

Things go wrong sometimes and we can’t predict the future. If we simply cannot fulfill a commitment we’ve made, we can discuss the situation with the others involved and together come up with a plan to work around the problem. We can be pro-active and acknowledge when things aren’t going to work out. If we over commit, we can revise the plan. If our schedule changes and we can’t complete something we’ve promised, we can ask for help. Communicating our concerns will help us resolve any issue that arises and address a situation before we fail. There isn’t anything we can’t handle. We can keep our promises and we can move forward with confidence and clarity and address any problems that come our way.

Today if you realize you aren’t going to be able to keep a commitment you’ve made, address the situation openly and find a workable solution. Revise your plan and do what is needed to work around the problem. You are wise enough to solve any problem that comes your way. Face it head on and continue moving forward with confidence.