Advertisements
Archive | Grace RSS feed for this section

Grudge Match

5 Jul

Conflict is a normal part of life. We may not like it and we may try to avoid it but we’re all individuals and differences will happen. We don’t have to agree with everyone and everything and there will be times when we won’t comply with what someone else wants. When there is tension and disagreement we may blame the other party for not agreeing with us and making things difficult. We may understand that we’re all entitled to our own opinions but when push comes to shove, despite that understanding, we may press to get our own way. If we can’t prevail we may hold a grudge against the other party and allow it to color our interactions with them going forward. Grudges have no power over anyone but the person carrying them. If we’re angry we may hold tight to them and they may keep us down and prevent us from moving forward. They can be crippling and will never solve any problems or help us find answers. It can be hard to let go of disappointment. We can blame everyone and everything for what goes wrong but that will change nothing. If we want our situation to improve we must let go and actively step forward. Our lives are always in our control and we can manage anything effectively to move ahead. We can accept differences and with patience and grace find the way forward through any conflict. Life is filled with challenges and we are certainly smart enough and wise enough to manage them. Every success is possible, even in disagreement, and we can find all the answers we need.

Some people like to argue and enjoy the intensity and dynamic of heated discussions. When we interact with them it may be difficult to find answers as they question every statement we make. It can be hard to get our point across if they dissect everything we say and oppose every suggestion. We don’t have to defend our position and we don’t need complete agreement in order to move forward. There are always possible compromises and adjustments to any plan. If we are open and flexible we will find the answers to address every concern and reach understanding.

There will be times when we won’t get our way and things will turn in a direction we don’t want. We may feel like we’ve lost the battle and carry anger away from the situation. Life is sometimes an uphill battle and sometimes we’re going to lose but that doesn’t mean we aren’t important and valuable. We can be open to new ideas and accept change when we must in order to keep moving ahead toward the goals we want the most. We can do anything even when things go wrong. We are strong and capable and with patience and determination we will find success.

Today if you’re struggling with a decision and unhappy about what’s happened, let go of any anger and look at your options going forward. Disappointments are just turns in the road. You can still get to your goals and succeed. Change direction and re-chart your course. Every destination is possible and you are strong enough and wise enough to get there.

Advertisements

What We See

13 Jul

“Two men looked out from prison bars. One saw the mud, the other saw stars.” Dale Carnegie

They say perception is reality. We all see things through our own paradigms and they are colored by our perception and how we think. Some people are natural optimists and even in dark times find something that makes them happy. Others see trouble in every aspect of their lives and struggle to feel joy. Two people facing the exact same issue may see it completely differently. We have the power to change our perspective and choose to find joy no matter what we’re facing. There will always be something to be happy about no matter how dire the circumstances. If we determine to find the one good thing while we struggle we will feel calmer and more confident as we go forward. Life is a great blessing. It isn’t always easy, it isn’t always fun and it isn’t always what we want to do. But no matter what it is, we have everything we need to not only survive but thrive as we progress. We can look down and see only mud, or we can turn our eyes upward and see the stars. It’s all there for us. We need only choose how we’ll see it.

We take a lot for granted as we go through our days. We grow accustomed to our comfortable homes, our cars, our clothes, our food, our jobs if we have them, and all the rest. We expect them to be there from day to day and rarely think about losing them. But sometimes life throws a wrench into the works and something fails. We get sick, or our cars die, or our jobs are threatened and suddenly we remember how many blessings we have and how much we want them. It’s easy to become complacent until the bottom falls out and we must face the possibility of losing something we love. We can choose to be thankful for everything we have. When we recognize our personal blessings, and appreciate all the gifts we possess, we’ll find more humility and grace and get closer to the person we most want to be.

Some people are never happy. They may complain because they don’t have a job and then get one and complain because it’s hard to go to work every day. There are lots of reasons why people are unhappy and we can justify every emotion we feel but happiness is a choice we make. It’s something only we can give ourselves. It really doesn’t matter what is going on outside us. If we choose to, we can find happiness in any situation. There will always be something for which to be grateful. If we seek out those precious, sometimes small gifts, our lives will be enhanced and we will feel deeper joy. Life is an incredible gift but how we live it is up to us.

Today if you’ve been feeling bad and find yourself looking down at the mud instead of up at the stars, change your focus. You have so many things to be grateful for. Find joy in the small moments and see every gift you possess. Your life is precious and priceless. Be happy and find joy. It’s right there for you. Reach for it and embrace it.

Worst Case Scenario

9 May

We are only able to control our own choices and the things we do. We have no control over what anyone else chooses or what the world brings to us. Although we may live well, are honest and caring, and choose things that will move us forward on the path we want to travel, all bets are off when it comes to the decisions of others. Despite our best efforts to be fair and kind, there may be times when someone will treat us badly. Perhaps they lie to us or about us, do devious and mean things to us, take our possessions or break into our space uninvited, manipulate us or even physically harm us. We can’t control anything but ourselves and sometimes others may make bad decisions that bring hardship, pain, and sadness into our lives. It’s difficult to manage when it’s someone close to us and worse when it’s someone we love. We may struggle to understand why they would hurt us and we may be heartbroken but trying to understand why others do anything is wasted time. Everyone makes their own choices and sometimes people choose badly. Instead of trying to figure out why they are doing what they are doing, it’s better to find a way to navigate the situation with grace and keep our standards high. In the end our choices are what direct our lives. If we make the best choices, even when there is trouble, we will prevail.

When someone attacks us our first instinct may be to fight back. The fight or flight reflex is coded into our genes and helps us survive. It’s a valuable trait but unless we’re in a face off with a lion we can choose something higher. Getting down in the dirt and hitting back will never help us. Even if we win the fight, we may lose our self-respect. Responding badly to a sucker punch only makes us the sucker. We can stand taller and refuse to take the bait. Often when someone hurts us they are seeking control over us. If we stay calm, we can use wisdom and composure to control the situation and win. Even in a worst-case scenario we have everything we need to be in control and choose wisely.

Everyone is different and all we can see is what they show us. Sometimes the person we’ve trusted and shared our lives with isn’t honest about who they really are. They may play along and pretend they are friends but if their intentions aren’t authentic, in time their real attributes will become apparent. When that happens, if they turn out to be someone who is untrustworthy and hurts us we may feel betrayed. We may wonder how we ever believed in them and struggle to forgive ourselves for falling into a bad situation. But trusting others is noble and it’s honorable to extend friendship. We only answer for our own choices and can choose what is right no matter what others do.

Today if you’re in a situation where someone you trusted has hurt you and you feel betrayed and angry, choose wisely going forward. Don’t let the decisions of others pull you from the path you most want to travel. Keep your eyes focused ahead and let your actions set the example for what is right and good. You deserve every happiness. Choose well and be true to yourself. You will succeed and you will win.