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Something Different

6 Sep

We make all kinds of personal connections as we go through our lives. Some of them are strong and we hold onto them for many years. We may become attached to someone we feel is very much like us who does things that make us happy and enhance our lives. As the connection grows, we believe in them and trust they are who they appear to be. Often that’s the case and we move forward knowing we can count on them and find comfort having them in our lives. But some people are dishonest and do things that make others believe they are someone they aren’t in order to create a close connection that gives them something they desire. When someone says all the right things that push all our happy buttons, it can be hard to imagine they are lying. If we trust them and give our hearts to them and then find out they aren’t who we thought they were but someone completely different, we may feel devastated. It’s hard to understand such manipulation and if it happens to us we may be crushed and lose confidence in ourselves. We can’t control the decisions of others and it’s good to trust and believe in them. If that turns against us, the one who deceived is responsible. Life can be complicated and we never know what will come next. No matter where we’ve been or what’s already happened, we can trust ourselves to make excellent decisions going forward. If we fell, we can get back up. We are strong and powerful and nothing can hold us down.

Strong, long lasting relationships take continual work and compromise. If both involved are willing to do what is needed to find resolution as problems arise, there’s a good chance for a positive outcome. But if we’re in a relationship where we’re doing all the work and the other person is ignoring their part while pretending to care, we may give too much of ourselves away and end up feeling empty and alone. We deserve the very best of every situation and never need to take on someone else’s responsibility. We can decide what’s best for us at every turn. We know what we want and with wisdom and courage we can do what we must to achieve it.

If we’ve been fooled by someone pretending to love us who isn’t the person they professed to be, we may struggle to forgive ourselves for falling for them. We may feel we should have known better but we can’t see things that are hidden. If we’d had all the facts from the beginning we would never have believed the lie. We are smart and intelligent and if someone fools us, we can take what we’ve learned forward and be confident in our ability to make the best decisions.

Today if you’ve fallen for a lie or are in a relationship that isn’t working, remember you are wise and valuable, and deserve every happiness. Let go of any guilt for mistakes in judgment and move forward with confidence. You are certainly capable of making excellent choices. Leave the past behind and step toward the future. There is great success and happiness ahead for you. Keep moving forward and you’ll reach it.

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Collateral Damage

20 Dec

Everyone has their own plans about their lives and what they want to accomplish.  As we interact with one another there may be some tug and pull moving forward.  When we were young we were taught not to push or cut in line in an effort to get to the end more quickly.  Although we may think we learned that lesson well, when there is something we really want and others are in the way, we may justify pushing them aside or jumping ahead of them in order to get there.  If we don’t care what happens we may run over them or bully our way through.  Some people believe the ends justify any means necessary and if that means hurting someone else, so be it.  Every time we hurt someone serving ourselves we may be burning a bridge.  Perhaps we don’t think we’ll ever return so it doesn’t matter how many we burn pushing ahead.  But life has a way of looping back around to where we’ve been and if we must come back it’ll be harder to find success if we’ve eradicated the connections necessary to allow it.  No matter what our goals are or what time frame we’ve set to accomplish them, it is far better to work with those around us than against them.  We can find successful ways to incorporate others if they are in our way and allow them to help us move forward.  Bringing those around us into the plan will allow us to build strong connections that will help us through and be there in the future.  We can do anything on our own but sharing the journey with others will make the trip more interesting and may take us to the destination more quickly.  Collateral damage isn’t a requirement for success.  We can build bridges instead of burning them, and move forward together.

Someone near us may be very ambitious and determined in their desires.  If they want something we have they may simply take it instead of asking for it.  If we must interact with them we may feel great frustration or anger as they act out in discriminatory ways.  We don’t have to allow others to treat us badly.  We can speak up and set boundaries that bring us confidence.  We deserve respect and consideration, and we may demand it.  The world doesn’t belong to anyone.  We all have a part to play, and we can own what is ours and define what we need.

We may be a situation where someone hurts us deeply as they push forward to get what they want.  Maybe they destroy a tender relationship we have with someone else, sabotage us at work, or cast aspersions on our character.  It’s painful to go through such betrayal and it may be hard to get back up after being knocked down.  But we have all the courage and strength we need to face anything that comes, and with grace and patience can continue forward despite any efforts to stop us.  Success is always there.  There is nothing and no one powerful enough to hold us down.

Today if you’ve been brushed aside or demeaned by someone pushing their way ahead, step out of the way and let them pass.  You can move forward on your own road without interference and find success.  Trust in your abilities and strength.  You have everything you need to be happy and reach any destination you desire.  Be confident.  Everything is there for you and nothing will keep you from it.

Worst Case Scenario

9 May

We are only able to control our own choices and the things we do. We have no control over what anyone else chooses or what the world brings to us. Although we may live well, are honest and caring, and choose things that will move us forward on the path we want to travel, all bets are off when it comes to the decisions of others. Despite our best efforts to be fair and kind, there may be times when someone will treat us badly. Perhaps they lie to us or about us, do devious and mean things to us, take our possessions or break into our space uninvited, manipulate us or even physically harm us. We can’t control anything but ourselves and sometimes others may make bad decisions that bring hardship, pain, and sadness into our lives. It’s difficult to manage when it’s someone close to us and worse when it’s someone we love. We may struggle to understand why they would hurt us and we may be heartbroken but trying to understand why others do anything is wasted time. Everyone makes their own choices and sometimes people choose badly. Instead of trying to figure out why they are doing what they are doing, it’s better to find a way to navigate the situation with grace and keep our standards high. In the end our choices are what direct our lives. If we make the best choices, even when there is trouble, we will prevail.

When someone attacks us our first instinct may be to fight back. The fight or flight reflex is coded into our genes and helps us survive. It’s a valuable trait but unless we’re in a face off with a lion we can choose something higher. Getting down in the dirt and hitting back will never help us. Even if we win the fight, we may lose our self-respect. Responding badly to a sucker punch only makes us the sucker. We can stand taller and refuse to take the bait. Often when someone hurts us they are seeking control over us. If we stay calm, we can use wisdom and composure to control the situation and win. Even in a worst-case scenario we have everything we need to be in control and choose wisely.

Everyone is different and all we can see is what they show us. Sometimes the person we’ve trusted and shared our lives with isn’t honest about who they really are. They may play along and pretend they are friends but if their intentions aren’t authentic, in time their real attributes will become apparent. When that happens, if they turn out to be someone who is untrustworthy and hurts us we may feel betrayed. We may wonder how we ever believed in them and struggle to forgive ourselves for falling into a bad situation. But trusting others is noble and it’s honorable to extend friendship. We only answer for our own choices and can choose what is right no matter what others do.

Today if you’re in a situation where someone you trusted has hurt you and you feel betrayed and angry, choose wisely going forward. Don’t let the decisions of others pull you from the path you most want to travel. Keep your eyes focused ahead and let your actions set the example for what is right and good. You deserve every happiness. Choose well and be true to yourself. You will succeed and you will win.

Pulling the Knife Out

5 Dec

We will all probably experience the exquisite pain of betrayal at least once in our lives. Someone we care about, or someone we thought cared about us does something that betrays our trust, our friendship, or our love. It’s a horrible feeling when it happens, and we are often caught unaware and breathless when we discover the truth. We feel like we’ve been stabbed in the back. There is no way to see it coming as someone sneaks up from behind, and plunges the dagger. Few things are as painful as betrayal. Secretly plotting against anyone or covertly doing things that will destroy others is disgraceful and despicable, and cannot be justified. Of course, those responsible have reasons they believe are sufficient for causing such pain, but there is no truth in that. Betrayal is cruel, mean, and destructive, and the pain it causes can be crippling.

If this happens, we may feel devastated and shocked. It can knock the wind out of us and leave us wondering who we can trust, and what to do going forward. It’s hard to move anywhere with a knife in our backs, so first we must remove it. Since we’re talking about an emotional wound, we don’t have to wait to yank it out. We can do it immediately by facing those who have betrayed us, and clearly and succinctly telling them we will not tolerate it. When we take that first step and stand up for what is right, we feel more power and control than if we suffer quietly. What they’ve done only diminishes them and we can maintain our high personal standards despite their actions. Speaking up at once, and pro-actively addressing the situation often leaves those involved speechless and stunned by our self-control. And that’s a win.

We can’t control what anyone does but ourselves. People can make bad choices, they can do horrible things, they can hurt others, and sometimes we’ll be the target. Even when we’re devastated, even if we feel destroyed, even if the pain is severe, we can still choose well. We can rise above the destruction, take a deep breath, and remember who we are and who we want to be. We can be noble, even if those around us are shameful. When we choose the path best for us, and behave in ways that communicate how incredible we really are, we always win. Those who take the low road, who hurt and use and betray, will never have the respect or honor that comes to those who choose well. It hurts to be betrayed. It hurts a lot. But by choosing what is right, we will heal, and in time, we’ll be happy again.

Today if you’ve been stung by the bitter pain of betrayal, remember who you are. This does not diminish you. You can manage this with grace and determination by making excellent choices. You are strong and you can handle anything that comes to you. There are so many great experiences just ahead. Keep your eyes focused on those. Learn what you can from this and then let it go. Remember you are a gift to the world. We’re all better because you’re here.