Tag Archives: Burn

Another Let Down

8 Apr

Everyone makes their own decisions and we’re all accountable for each choice we make. If we make commitments and honor them, people will learn to trust us. If we give our word and then just forget about it because we really didn’t mean it, others will understand we are not reliable. Life is complicated and we will face all kinds of dicey and uncomfortable situations. If we’re pressed against something we don’t think we can manage, we might say anything just to escape. We may agree to do what someone else wants, or say we’ll take care of the issue, when in fact we have no intention of doing either. We may focus on simply looking good for the moment and getting away, and push off any responsibility we have for following through. We can do anything we like, but one thing is certain – every decision we make will have a result. Dodging our accountability doesn’t eliminate it. We own every choice, good or bad. If we can’t do something, or don’t understand how to proceed, instead of making up stories to get through, it’s far better to be completely honest about what’s happening. Nobody knows everything and we’re all going to be in situations that confound us and tangle the way forward. If we’re open about our true feelings and refuse to agree to something we cannot do, we can stand strong and step forward with confidence. Our lives are what we make them. By being truthful and clear, we can pave the road ahead and reach success.

It’s good to trust others, but we may face a situation when that trust is abused and broken. Maybe someone makes a date with us, but then fails to show. They may have a very convincing excuse, and we may forgive them and try again. If they stand us up a second time, it will be harder to believe them when they try to explain. Some people don’t care how their decisions affect others. They may make all kinds of commitments they never intend to keep, and if we care for them, their irresponsibility may hurt us deeply. We know who we are and what we want. If we’re in a situation that isn’t working, we can step away and go in a new direction

There is an old saying, “Burn me once, shame on you. Burn be twice, shame on me.” Continually trusting someone who constantly lets us down will never take us where we want to go. There is no way to change anyone else or control their decisions. Once we see who they are and how they act, it’s up to us to decide what our relationship with them will be. We never have to stay in any relationship that brings pain or discomfort. There will always be another road and a new way forward. By trusting ourselves, and choosing what’s best for us, we will find great satisfaction and happiness.

Today if you’ve been let down again by someone, think about what you want the most. You are more precious and powerful than you imagine, and deserve complete happiness. There is nothing strong enough to hold you in place. Choose the roads that will lead you to success and step forward confident and sure. You are amazing, and we’re all blessed because you are here. Trust yourself. The best is just ahead.

Repercussion

17 Feb

Each day brings decisions we must make. Every choice will have a result and if the situation isn’t serious or far reaching, those results may be inconsequential. We constantly make routine decisions without much thought. We simply decide what we want to do and move on. But life is complicated and eventually we’ll face a serious decision that may impact our lives in big ways. If we understand how important the situation is before we choose, and are able to get all the facts, we have a better chance of navigating it well, but there may be times when something that seems simple and straight forward turns out to be very complex and significant. The repercussions of a big decision can impact us in ways we never imagined and turn our course in a direction we didn’t see coming. We don’t know what we don’t know, and if we can’t get all the facts before we choose, we may end up going somewhere we never intended. Everything we do affects our lives in some way. Big choices will come, issues will arise, and we may get very tangled in a situation we never imagined. It doesn’t matter how complex or difficult the issue is, we can find the answers we need. It’s hard to face a situation we don’t like, but nothing is permanent and no matter where we are, or what direction we’re traveling, we have everything we need to change it. Life is full of experiences. Some of them will be wonderful and fulfilling, and some will bring hardship and trouble. We are wise and capable, and can face anything that arises with confidence and certainty. Nothing can hold us in place, and we will prevail.

Nobody knows us better than we know ourselves. People can only see us from the outside – what we do, where we go, and how we look – but can never know what we’re thinking. When we’re facing difficult challenges, others may give us advice and tell us how to proceed based on what they can see. But we know what we want and are perceptive enough to understand what we need to do. Our decisions are ours to make and we have all wisdom and clarity we need to make them well.

If a decision we’ve made goes south and all our plans crash and burn, we may think we’re doomed. We may believe there’s nothing we can do to fix the situation and we’ll never succeed. It may seem like the end, but that will never be true. We can change anything at any time. It may not be easy, and we may struggle to fix what has gone wrong, but we are stronger and more powerful than we imagine and have everything we need to correct our course.

Today if a choice you’ve made has turned out badly and there are problems and complications, don’t give up. You already possess everything you need to adjust your course and correct the situation. You have all the wisdom and courage necessary to find the way forward. Decide what you want and be confident. Nothing can keep you from success. The whole world is there for you, and you will win.

Uncovering Truth

13 Jun

As we go through our lives we experience many things. We have bad experiences, good ones, difficult times, easy moments and a huge spectrum of emotions. We feel everything we go through and whatever we experience involves some sort of emotion. Some people are stoic and it’s hard to know what they are feeling and others wear everything out in the open for all to see. Whether we display them or not we will feel a broad range of emotions every day. They help us understand what we’re going through but we must be careful that our emotions don’t deceive us. Feelings can lie to us and make us believe things that aren’t true. They are often reflective of experiences we’ve had in the past and if we have unresolved fear, unsettled disappointment or uncertainty our emotions may bring it to the surface again. They may color our interpretation of what we’re going through now even though they have nothing to do with our current situation. When we feel unsure or afraid we can take a moment to think about what is triggering the emotion. Does it pertain to what’s happening now or is it just a memory resurfacing? We can uncover the truth and take control of our lives. Emotions are complex and deeply ingrained in who we are. We can manage them effectively by looking at them objectively and seeing them for what they are.

Our emotional memories are very strong. Someone may say something or we see something that reminds us of a difficult time and all the emotions we felt may come flooding back. We can’t control the response but we can control what we do when it happens. If we’re suddenly overwhelmed with sorrow or fear we can take a breath, let the flood wash over us and then objectively determine how we will go forward. We don’t have to crash and burn because a difficult memory has momentarily overtaken us. We can resettle ourselves and remember the past is behind us and need not control us going forward. Every day brings new opportunities for growth and learning, and we can let the past go and keep walking.

Everything we experience changes us in some way. We are all the sum total of our experiences and each experience teaches us something we can take with us going forward. Even our worst trial gives us some value that benefits us. When old emotions take us back to the struggle, we can find the lesson we learned to help us going forward. Feelings may lie to us and tell us we haven’t moved at all, but we can uncover the truth and continue forward with confidence. We are amazing, capable and strong. There isn’t anything we can’t do or overcome.

Today if you feel bad over something in the past and it’s affecting your ability to move forward, look at the situation clearly and see everything you’ve learned. You can take the best lessons forward with you and leave the rest behind. You have everything you need to find happiness and success, and nothing will hold you back. Take control and move forward. The best is there for you and you will be happy.

 

Burn Me Once

12 Jun

There is a saying, “Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice, shame on me.” The meaning is pretty obvious – when someone hurts us the first time, it’s on them. But if we let them hurt us a second time, it’s on us. That’s true sometimes, but not always. It’s generally more complex than this. As people, we aren’t really that predictable, and there are always complications. We can be in situations where we get hurt, but because of the relationship dynamic, we allow the person who hurt us to remain close enough to hurt us again. Sometimes it’s because they are related to us, and cutting them off isn’t really a viable option. Sometimes it’s because we love them, and have faith in them. Sometimes it’s because we have a relationship with them that’s important to our lives. And sometimes, it’s because we’re afraid to let them go.

People make mistakes all the time. I make them, and you make them. We aren’t perfect, and we falter. It’s the normal course of things as we learn. We run into problems when we make the same mistakes over and over, or we allow others to hurt us the same way again and again. Relationships aren’t always easy, and the decisions we make in them are not always black or white. Sometimes it’s unclear how we should proceed. Sometimes we aren’t sure. We don’t want to be hurt again, but we don’t know how to go forward. And sometimes it’s easier to pretend that everything is okay even when we’re not happy. The problem with pretending is that it isn’t reality, and eventually that catches up with us. When that happens, we have to face the true situation head on.

We deserve the very best from ourselves, and from those around us. We won’t always give it, or get it, but we can try to do our part. If we offend someone we care about, we need to recognize what we’ve done, and make it right. And the same is true for those around us. However, sometimes those who have offended us are not aware of our feelings. When that happens, it’s up to us to tell them what’s going on. We can do it calmly, and politely. We will get the point across more effectively if we are not angry when we have the discussion. Then if the offense happens again, if we are hurt again, we can decide if we want to continue the relationship. It’s not easy to change relationships, but it isn’t impossible. We are the ones in control of our lives. If we are getting hurt, and we do nothing, we will be unhappy. We deserve to be happy. We deserve the very best.

Today if you’re being hurt, speak up. Explain how you feel, and do your part to improve the relationship. If nothing changes, and you continue to be hurt, remember that you are valuable. You deserve to be happy. Make the best choice possible to ensure that you will be. Happiness is a gift we give to ourselves. Give it to yourself today. You deserve it.

Refining

19 May

Trouble. It comes to all of us. Just when things are sailing along, bang, a wrench in the plans. It’s often unexpected, usually annoying, and sometimes devastating. None of us wants to deal with trouble in our lives. Problems are something we’d rather never have, but this is life. This isn’t paradise. And so, we have problems. Things go wrong. People let us down. Situations change. Promises get broken.

It’s easy to feel frustrated when our plans have gone awry, and we can be angry when there are disappointing changes. We can have all the pity parties we want, but in the end we have to face the new circumstance, whatever that is. If we are hurt, we may spend time wondering why this happened. Why us? Why now? Those are good questions, but they don’t help us deal with where we are. We have to re-group, re-plan, recover, and go on.

When metal is being refined, it is placed in very hot ovens. The fire has to be hot enough to melt the metal, and separate all the impurities from it. As the impure contents pour off, what is left is the refined, pure ore. It takes time, and a lot of heat for this process to work. But if we want pure gold or silver, we have to burn off the other elements that are undesirable.

We are the same way. We are not perfect. We have things in our personalities that need to change. We have imperfections we need to eliminate. Problems and troubles challenge us. They give us an opportunity to experience the heat of discord, the fire of turbulence, and the clarifying process of coping. If we can think of our trials as opportunities to burn off the chaff, opportunities to refine ourselves, we will be able to handle them more easily.

Today, if things go wrong, a little or a lot, try to remember that whatever has happened can work in your favor. You can refine yourself by being put to the test. You can become purer by experiencing a little heat. Think about that before you fall into despair. This is your chance to become clearer, nobler, stronger and more courageous. Let the fire burn, let the problems come, let things get hot, and know that you can handle it. You have everything you need to handle it. You can take this. There is nothing you can’t manage. Remember that today. There is refinement in the fire.