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Wishing Well

25 Oct

Life brings us all kinds of experiences and sometimes when things are going wrong we may be filled with frustration and worry. We never know what will happen next and although we always hope for the best, there may be times when it seems like the planets have aligned against us and nothing, absolutely nothing, will go right. We have little control over what comes to us each day. There are all kinds of things happening outside our control, many of which we don’t have any idea about. When we feel overwhelmed and tired of fixing messes and cleaning up problems, we may wish for a reprieve. We may wish we could win the lottery and leave everything behind, or that someone will come along who will solve all our problems and take care of us. While it may feel good to indulge in wishful thinking, odds are those wishes won’t come true. Unfortunately, there is no magic well we can throw coins into that will improve our lives. We must face the problems and challenges that appear and find our way through. Wasting time wishing it would all go away on its own and that our lives would magically turn into paradise is wasted time. We have everything we need to solve any issue we must and even when it seems the deck is stacked against us can find all the answers. There isn’t anything we can’t do and we can find our way through anything. Instead of wishing for resolution, we can create it. We are powerful and strong, and nothing can stop us from fixing whatever is going wrong, and reaching any success we desire.

There may be a time when the challenges before us are so great and intense we are sure we can’t get through. We may feel completely inadequate in processing what’s happening and sure, completely positive, there is no way we’ll ever survive it. Big trouble may come our way but no matter how grave the situation may appear, no matter how hard the answers are to find, we can prevail. There is always a way out of any complication, and we can be confident, even if we’re unsure, that we’ll find it. Nothing is too hard for us to manage and we will find the road forward.

When trouble comes and it seems never ending, fatigue and worry may make us believe we aren’t strong enough to continue. If those around us are supportive and helpful we may be more confident but if they don’t believe we can get through we may fall into depression. It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks about anything we’re going through. It doesn’t matter how hard the issue is. We have all we need to manage anything. We can trust ourselves and rely on our personal strength and wisdom to help us through and we will overcome. We are stronger and smarter than we may realize and nothing is too difficult for us to manage.

Today if you’re in a difficult and complicated situation and you’re wishing you could just escape, remember how strong and capable you are. You can manage anything. Dig deep and trust your instincts. You know what to do and you will find your way. The whole world is there for you and you will have it.

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Looking for Silver

2 Oct

Hard times come to us all. We never know what tomorrow will bring and sometimes our lives turn toward places we never want to go. Things will go wrong from time to time and our plans will sometimes fail. When everything gets turned upside down and we’re miserable trying to figure out what happened, why it happened to us, and what we should do next, it can be disheartening and overwhelming. They say every cloud has a silver lining, but when we’re in the midst of the storm, it can be hard to find anything to hold onto. If we’re devastated, and have lost our footing, we may feel stranded and alone. We know tomorrow will come and eventually things will change but it might be hard to figure out what to do until that happens. Trials and challenges can push us way beyond our comfort zones. We may feel the situation it too intense to manage. We may want to give up when it’s hard to continue and just sit down and refuse to move. Or we can trust ourselves and remember all the other times we’ve been overwhelmed and found the way through. We have everything inside us already to manage anything that comes. We are strong and intelligent, and even if we feel overcome, can find every answer we need to prevail. Nobody wants to suffer but hard times teach us valuable lessons about ourselves and the world around us. That knowledge is priceless and benefits every step we take moving forward. The silver will be there for us if we press ahead and do what is needed to solve whatever problem is troubling us. We are more powerful and wise than we realize and nothing can hold us down.

Some problems are very personal and we must face them alone. There may be internal conflict as we wrestle with the possible solutions before us. One road will take us one way, another will lead us to a different destination altogether. Sometimes we just need to change where we are and it doesn’t matter which road we take. Nobody knows us better than we know ourselves. We know what we want and what we need. By taking our time and reviewing all our options patiently and carefully we will find the best way forward.

If the situation we’re in is severely dire it may feel nothing good could ever come from it. We may not see any redeeming quality in the suffering we’re going through. But no matter what’s happening, there will always be something of value to be gained. Perhaps we’ll learn to be a little more patient. Or we’ll gain greater trust in ourselves. Or maybe the only blessing will be that we increased our strength by enduring. Every trial gives us something to hold onto and those lessons go forward with us to help us and guide our path.

Today if you’re in a terrible situation and are overwhelmed with the problems before you, trust yourself to find the answers. You are smarter than you think you are and will find your way. Learn all you can from the problems you’re facing. That knowledge will be a great benefit to you in the future. Stand strong. You can do anything and you will prevail.

Truth or Dare

26 Oct

There are unlimited opinions in the world around us. Everyone has their own perspective of what is going on, what is real, and what is true. All interpretations have some truth in them and as we live we will naturally modify our ideas as we grow and experience different situations. We all have opinions but truth and opinion are not always the same things. What is real can be camouflaged by what is popular, what is important to us, or what is desired by others. If we believe something strongly and want others to follow us and only focus on converting them to our way of thinking, we may neglect to discover if what we’re doing is based in truth or not. If we dare to take the time to really uncover what is real, we will gain greater clarity and learn to listen more willingly. Nobody has all the answers. If we arrogantly go about telling others how things should be and how they should change we may miss the opportunity to genuinely and openly understand them as they are. It’s like missing the forest while we concentrate on looking at the trees. When we feel compelled and passionate about something and don’t take time to objectively evaluate our way forward, we may push ahead blindly missing important cues that tell us the whole story. A wide view of what is real will deepen our understanding of the way forward and help us correct our course if needed. Looking for all the facts, and seeking the complete truth will bring us confidence and success. We are capable of understanding great things and the more we know the better we can move forward.

Seeing only a small section of any picture will modify our understanding of what we’re looking at. If we see only the top of a mountain we cannot comprehend how high it is. The same is true when evaluating situations in our lives. If we hear only one side of the story we cannot know the entire thing. It takes time and willingness to listen to all points of view to fully understand. If we are emotionally involved it may be difficult to hear other ideas but if we step back and allow ourselves to see them openly we will more easily find resolution.

It’s impossible to change our point of view if we refuse to hear anything new. If we are absolutely sure we are right it may be very difficult to even consider anything else. But nobody can know everything all the time. Even if we are confident there is only one answer, if we allow others to share their suggestions and listen openly we may find that although our way forward will get us to the goal, there may be ways to improve. We are intelligent and capable of making excellent choices. Being open to new ideas will help us find the best road forward and build connections that will help us on the journey.

Today if you’re trying to convince others that you know the truth, be willing to listen when they give their points of view. Everyone has something to offer and the complete truth will rise when everyone has the opportunity to share. You know what you want. Everything is within reach and all the information is there. Be open, listen carefully, and build the connections you need to get to your goal.

Mother May I

19 Feb

When we were children as a way of protecting us from doing things beyond our ability to manage or that may hurt us, we were taught to ask for permission. Whenever we wanted to do something away from home, or anything different than the norm we were expected to ask first.  If we rebelled against that requirement and did something without asking, and it was something that should have been discussed prior, there were often unpleasant consequences to face afterward. And so we learned to ask or at least to make sure it was okay before proceeding. As we got older our lives became more independent and eventually we began to make decisions on our own. Permission is an agreement from someone in authority over us that we may do something we want to do. As adults, outside of work, or social situations where others may be impacted, we don’t need anyone’s permission to make our personal decisions. We are capable of choosing on our own.  The days of “Mother may I,” have passed.

Despite the fact that we are perfectly capable of managing our lives, we can get into situations with others where we feel we need to get their agreement in our personal decisions. Perhaps it’s a close friend who has a strong personality and wants to guide us. Perhaps the old patterns with our parents still linger. Perhaps it’s a relationship we value greatly and the other person wants control over or input into our decisions. There are lots of reasons we can feel we need to get permission or approval before going forward. But our lives belong to us and only us. We can make any personal decisions we want to and we don’t need anyone’s approval. We don’t have to tell anyone before we make a decision, even if it’s one we know others may not like. Our decisions are ours. We can make them on our own, be confident in our ability to choose well, and direct our lives accordingly.

People are complex. We have all kinds of emotions and feelings to contend with on a daily basis. Sometimes we may be fearful of doing something differently than what others may expect. That fear may prevent us from making decisions we really want to make. Or we might be unsure we can make a good decision without getting the approval of others first because we’ve always done that in the past. But we know how to make good decisions. We know how to weigh all the options and choose what’s best for us. Nobody really knows what’s best for us better than we do, not even those who love us. We are the only ones who know everything that’s going on inside and what we truly want. We know who we are and are able to make good, strong choices. If others disagree that will be their burden to carry. It is not our responsibility to ensure everyone is happy with the way we choose to live our lives. If we can remember that and trust in ourselves, we can go forward and make any decision we choose to with confidence. We can do anything. We just have to decide.

Today if you’ve been holding back on a personal decision because you know somebody won’t like it or won’t agree, if it’s important to you, go forward. You know what you need and what you want. There is nothing you can’t do. You are in charge of your life and can make it any way you want it. This is your day. Choose to make it completely yours.

Small Moves

15 Oct

Change is rarely easy.  It’s always more comfortable to keep things as they are than it is to change them.  But change is constant and can’t be avoided.  Sometimes we need to make adjustments to facilitate new situations in our lives.  Maybe we are moving and must change our jobs, or our jobs are changing causing us to relocate.  Perhaps a family situation has developed and it’s impacting our lives and routine in ways that mean we have to adjust our patterns and how we do things.  When we have to make serious changes it can be hard to navigate at first.  We may try to keep doing things as always and hope it’ll work out.  If it doesn’t we’ll have to find a new way to go forward.  It’s important to realize that change doesn’t usually happen all at once.  We generally have to make small adjustments one at a time to figure out what works.  We turn a few degrees to the right or to the left, re-adjust and then, if necessary, turn again.  We continue to modify our path until things are working more effectively and we’ve completely implemented the change into our lives.

Sometimes it seems like life would be easier if everything stayed the same.  We’re familiar with this road, we’ve been on it for a while and don’t see any reason to go into uncharted territory.  But this life is consistently changing.  It’s really the only constant we can count on.  No matter how things are now, they won’t stay that way forever.  So learning to accommodate the inevitable change that’s coming is imperative.  We can’t see the future and we don’t know what lies ahead.  What we’re doing now is preparing us for the new experiences coming our way.  If we are confident and positive looking forward, we will be able to adjust to whatever comes.  There really isn’t anything we can’t face.  Even the most difficult developments are within our ability to understand and navigate.

Our responses to change often result in stress.  Whether the change is wonderful or disastrous doesn’t really matter.  The measure of the change often brings with it a comparable amount of stress as we try to adjust.  If the impact is great, it takes more time than if it’s small.  We may feel out of control, anxious, and uncomfortable as we navigate through the transition.  But if we take it one step at a time, we’ll find our footing again, and no matter what the change is, we’ll figure out how to process it into our lives.  We don’t need to be afraid, and we don’t need to worry.  There isn’t anything we can’t manage.  We can be calm and confident as we figure out what to do next.  In time we’ll get through and although our lives may be different, and we may be facing a new “normal,” we’ll be able to find happiness and peace again.

Today if you’re facing some new changes, if you’re unsure and feel stressed, give yourself time to adjust.  Take it one step at a time.  Change is a normal and expected part of life.  It’s a time to redirect, and redefine who we are and where we’re going.  Walk through the transition at your own pace.  Give yourself time to adjust, and before you know it you’ll be on the other side happy with where you are, and looking forward.

Have Some of Mine

3 Oct

Everyone has different gifts, talents, and skills. We all learn different things as we grow, and some of us are born with special talents. Sometimes we get the opportunity to share those benefits with others. Perhaps we share them by participating in a group project, or maybe by teaching someone something they’re interested in. There are limitless opportunities for sharing if we keep ourselves open. But some people don’t want to share what they have. They want to have proprietary ownership over what they know. In the job force some consider this job security. They believe if nobody else knows what they know or can do what they can they will always have a job. That may be true, but if we don’t share what we have, we don’t have the opportunity to feel connected to those around us. Sharing our personal lives allows us to enhance and build our relationships, and when we give we never lose anything. Like the flame on a candle, we can share our light with an infinite number of people, and still have all we need. We’re just making our experiences wider in scope and building a more expansive field to relate to.

If we keep all our gifts to ourselves, and are stingy with them, we end up isolating ourselves from others. If there are no points of commonality between us and those around us, we end up standing alone. We can hold all our cards close to our chests but that will just prevent others from getting close. Some people prefer their lives that way. They don’t want close relationships and they don’t want to interact with others any more than they must. We all have a different level of comfort in dealing with others, but if we want to feel like we belong, if we want friendships and strong relationships, we have to let others get close to us. We can’t get close by standing back. Sharing with others who we are, and what we know helps open doors. And open doors invite others in, and make us approachable.

If someone near us has a skill or gift we’d like to learn, we may ask them to share it with us. Most people are happy to do that, and as we learn about their particular advantage, we also learn more about them. As they teach us, they learn more about us. We create stronger personal bonds, and become closer in our relationship with them. If they were just acquaintances, the experience may make them friends. If they were friends already, it may create a deeper friendship. We interact with people every day. Bringing them into our lives, and getting closer to their lives will be a blessing to us. When we have a large network of others around us who understand us, and who we can trust, our lives are more comfortable, and we are happier.

Today think about sharing your skills and gifts with those around you. Bring them into your life by opening up and showing them who you really are. You’ll get closer to them, and get to know them more completely. They’ll appreciate your willingness to share and learn to trust you. Build a strong network around you by opening yourself up and letting others in. Your life will be richer, and you’ll feel happier with the friendships you’ll build.

Good Intentions

28 Sep

There are lots of things we can do for others.  We can help in small ways to let them know we care, we can help with special projects, and we can be there when they need us.  In our busy lives though, there are times we may commit to something, and even plan on doing it, but time gets away from us or we get distracted, and it doesn’t happen.  If we drop the ball once in a while it’s generally not a problem, but if it becomes a consistent behavior trait, we may find we lose the trust of those around us.  Good intentions are nice, but if we don’t follow through they don’t mean anything.  There is an old saying, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”  Perhaps we won’t actually go to hell if we drop the ball, but it certainly won’t work in our favor.

We all have a lot to offer those around us.  Most of us want to be good friends and family members, and try to be there when the need arises.  We make promises to help and most of the time we follow through, but if something comes up and we miss the commitment, it’s important that we apologize.  Most people are forgiving when plans don’t work out and they’ll trust us again if we fail to show once.  But we need to be careful we don’t make promises we can’t keep.  If we say we’re going to be there and don’t show again and again, we will damage our relationships.  There is no way to prevent the loss of trust if we keep letting others down.  Trust is something we earn, and if we drop the ball and lose that trust, it can be hard to restore.

We can get caught up in situations when we’re asked to do something or be somewhere that will be difficult for us.  If the person requesting our help is adamant in their need, we may agree to be there even if we’re not sure we can.  The pressure to go along with an idea can be intense, and some people can be very persuasive.  But even if they are insistent, it’s up to us to make the best decisions possible.  If the situation is such that we aren’t sure we can follow through, we need to express that.  It’s important to state our concerns about the request, and clearly explain that we aren’t sure we can be available.  Keeping our promises is important, and if we aren’t sure we can, we need to say so.  It would be great if we could all do everything we’re asked to but that isn’t generally possible.  And so it’s up to us to define when we can and when we can’t.  We can be confident in making the commitments we’re sure of, and we can be just as confident in declining requests we can’t fulfill.

Today if you’re being asked to do something you can help with, commit your time and make sure you follow through.  If you can’t do it, be confident in declining the request.  It doesn’t mean you don’t want to help, and you will assist another time.  Have the best intentions by being clear about your ability to commit.  You are in control of your life and you know what you can do.  Keep the trust of those around you by being honest and careful in making your decisions.  A trustworthy friend is a valuable asset.  Be that person to those around you.