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Tag Archives: Hide

House of Mirrors

18 Oct

We’re all different and our experiences as we go through our lives make us into the people we become.  Most of us learn from things that go wrong and adjust our lives to prevent making the same mistakes going forward.  But some people have trouble discerning the mistakes they make.  It’s hard for them to understand how their actions connect to what happens to them.  It’s not our place to judge what anyone else does but if we have people like this in our lives, we may be affected.  It’s hard to have a relationship with someone who continually makes choices that bring heartache and trouble.  We may find ourselves continually adjusting to the next disaster and trying to find a way around it.  Although we are only responsible for the decisions we make, we may be seriously impacted by those made by others close to us.  Like paint, they can smear their dysfunction all over our lives and before we know it we may get caught up in their problems in ways that are not helpful.  If we remember we are individuals and have complete ownership over our own decisions, we can stand beside someone who struggles and be supportive without becoming part of the issue.  We can be friends without getting caught up in turmoil and confusion.  Learning to stand beside someone and still stand apart will help us navigate through any difficult relationships we have.  Life isn’t always easy but we have everything we need to find the right road going forward that will bring us comfort and peace.

We don’t know what we don’t know.  Sometimes we may begin a relationship with someone that seems positive and satisfying.  We connect with them, we think we understand them and they seem to understand us.  It’s great to make connections with others that make us feel good and brighten our lives.  But sometimes people hide their true selves and it takes time for their real behaviors to shine through.  When things change, if the turn is dramatic enough, we may feel we’ve entered a house of mirrors.  Nothing is as we thought and we aren’t sure what to do next.  We are always in control of our lives and never have to stay in any situation that is uncomfortable.  We can make a turn and change our lives at any time.

We may get into situations where the people we’re associating with begin to make decisions we aren’t comfortable with.  They are choosing to continue toward a goal we don’t want or their methods are ideas we don’t agree with.  We always have the power to change any relationships in our lives.  We aren’t assigned to others and can move in a new direction away from those near us at any time.  Our lives are ours to design and we can decide how we will proceed.  We can be confident when we make choices that take us where we want to go and courageously continue forward toward success.

Today if you’re in a relationship that isn’t working or have been caught up in a situation that is moving you toward a destination you don’t want, take control.  You know where you want to go and have everything you need to get there.  You don’t have to stay in any situation that isn’t comfortable.  Change direction and move forward toward success.  You can do anything you desire and every option is possible.

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Call the Dance

16 Feb

There is an old saying that says if we call the dance, we must pay the piper. It means we are responsible for the results of all our decisions, even when they don’t turn out the way we hope they will. There will be consequences to every choice we make and no matter what they are, they belong to us. If we’ve been dishonest, childish, foolish, or unwise, whatever results from our actions is our responsibility. Of course, if we make good decisions and act well we will also gain the reactions to those choices. There is no way to skip out on our accountability and nobody gets to dance for free. We may try to ignore our part in our decisions, we may dodge the ramifications or try to hide, and we may even deny we’ve done something. But as in cards, once we’ve played our hand it cannot be changed. We can’t always predict the results of our choices and sometimes things will go awry even if we’ve tried our best. But if we are noble and honest we will manage what comes. We can call any kind of dance we want. We can choose wisely or foolishly, we can help or hurt, but whatever we choose the piper will require payment.

Selfishness never leads to happiness. If we selfishly make choices that only consider our wants or needs with no regard to how they will affect the lives of those around us we may get what we’re seeking but the price may be high. If we pretend to be something we aren’t or lie or cheat, we may fool those around us for a time. But truth is powerful and in the end, it will rise and if we’ve been dishonest our deception will become clear. Those who have trusted us and believed in us will see the truth of what we’ve done and who we really are. If we’ve hurt them badly they may turn away from us and we may lose our connections to them. It’s always wise to make the best decisions we possibly can and when we do, even if we falter, those involved will understand our objectives were noble even if our results didn’t work out.

There are times we might believe we can escape accountability by keeping our actions secret. Secrets only work when nobody figures them out. The problem is there is no secret so perfect or locked up that it won’t be revealed. Time has a way of opening the doors to truth. We might be able to hide for a while but nobody can hide forever. It’s better to make our choices out in the open. We can be honest about our motivations and choose boldly. If we decide to make a bad decision, we may make it and face the consequences. If we decide to embrace wisdom, our road will often be easier. If we choose well, when the piper comes for payment we’ll be ready. There isn’t anything we can’t do well. We deserve to be happy. Living honestly and making good choices will bring us happiness and peace.

Today if you’ve made a bad decision and must now face the consequences, face them bravely and openly. You can resolve any problem you must face and correct your course. Choose wisely going forward and live honestly. You’ll be happier knowing you’re on the right road and you’ll become the person you want most to be.

What is Real

16 Jun

We all live in the real world and things happen every day that we can clearly define and understand. When we have all the information we need in a situation we can proceed with confidence. But sometimes it can be hard to discern what is real. We have our perceptions and although we believe they are right we might be slightly off the mark. If we don’t have all the information we can only make determinations based on what we do have. Sometimes facts are withheld from us by others wishing to deceive and sometimes we just don’t want to know the whole story. If what we know doesn’t include the entire picture, we may struggle trying to find what is real. If we move forward with only part of the information, we will only find part of the truth. We can enhance our ability to make the best choices by looking at the situation objectively and deciding to see all the facts. If we move forward with only part of the story, we’ll end up at a destination that may not be what we planned on.

Truth is available to all of us all the time. It’s always there. We may look away from it because we really don’t want to know it, others may keep it from us, or our situation may be so complex that it’s hard to discern it. But it’s there and if we want to know the real truth of any situation and sincerely look for it we will find it. No matter how hard we try to hold it back or disguise it, truth will always rise because it is what is real. Learning to live truthfully isn’t always as easy as it may seem. There may be things we don’t want to look at or admit, we may have to face some uncomfortable or painful realities, and if we choose to we may tuck the truth away until we’re ready to face it. But while it’s hidden it will remain. It will not change even if we want it to. The truth of any situation is what is real and will always be there waiting for us to discover it.

We can design our lives any way we want to. If we like, we can hide behind our jobs, our families, our education, our intellect or anything else. We can pretend to be different than we really are, and we can play games with our honesty. But none of those things will ever change what is real in our lives. We can choose to only look at one side of an issue because it’s comfortable for us but the other side will remain. We can skew our perception to fit a model we think we should have and live superficial and dishonest lives. But none of those things will bring us true happiness. We can only be truly happy when we face our lives as they really are. If we look at everything honestly and openly and determine how we want to live and who we want to be we will find real happiness.

Today if you’ve been hiding from a truth that is difficult, open your eyes and see it clearly. There isn’t anything you can’t manage and knowing the truth will help you find what is real. You have everything you need to go forward and you deserve every happiness. Facing the truth and what is real will help you achieve it.

Ivory Towers

6 May

This life is filled with all kinds of interpretations, expressions, ideals and doctrines. Everyone is different and we are entitled to adopt whatever reasoning or rationales we choose. Sometimes we’ll agree with others, sometimes we won’t but we may choose whatever path we like going forward. Unfortunately, because of our differences, there may be some who choose to isolate themselves in order to stay away from others. They may believe their thoughts are superior or so different from those around them they should be set apart. If we choose to do that and construct a virtual ivory tower around us, keeping others at a distance, it may become impossible to understand the world and those in it. It will certainly be harder to relate to those around us if we exclude ourselves from interacting with them. If we stay separate we might find ourselves misunderstood and alone much of the time. This life is all about interacting with those around us. If we’re alone there is no chance to do that or to grow from those experiences. It’s better to set our personal standards and still continue to be a part of the group. Joining in doesn’t mean we have to completely assimilate. It just means we can participate which will bring us great blessings and continued growth.

The world and our societies continue to evolve as time passes. Perhaps we feel we’d be more comfortable with the way things were in the past, and maybe today’s norm doesn’t feel right for us. No matter what is going on with others or what is considered commonplace, we can always choose to live our lives our own way. We don’t have to match everyone else and we don’t have to do things that make us uncomfortable. We can hold fast to the methods and patterns that work for us and take the best of what’s around us and make it our own. There is no one perfect way to live a life. We all get to choose our own way and we can do it effectively without completely avoiding anything new.

Learning to work with those around us and interact with them in positive ways is easy for some, and more difficult for others. If we’re innately social it may be easier for us to manage differences and get along while keeping our own standards. If we’re uncomfortable in social settings it may be harder to understand others and find our voices. But either way, we can be part of the group and if we’re patient and embracing of differences, we can learn from them. We never need to isolate ourselves or hide away to find our way through. We are capable of sharing our lives and letting others share their lives with us. Everyone has gifts to offer. If we let them in we can learn new things, experience new understanding, and become richer and more integrated. We’re all in this together. Sharing the experience and being a part of it will bring us the most in return.

Today if you’ve been setting yourself apart and hanging back, step up. You have a lot to share and we all want to know you. Talk to those around you and get to know them. Open your heart and let others follow. Your life will be richer as you make new friends and companions to share the journey.

Invisible

18 Jan

There are times in our lives when we get into situations where we feel we aren’t being heard. Sometimes it feels like we aren’t even being seen. Those around us may be wrapped up in their own lives or something is consuming their attention to such an extent that no matter what we do, or what we say, we can’t get in. It’s very difficult when it’s someone or a situation we care deeply about. We want to be heard and acknowledged and when that doesn’t happen we can feel lost and unappreciated. We all have something to contribute in every situation. We are all valuable and unique, and our perspective needs to be heard. But if others are distracted by their own needs and wants they may not be able to see anything but themselves. And when that happens we may feel unwanted, unneeded, and somehow unworthy. But none of that is true. We are all needed and certainly worthy of being heard. We all have great value but feeling invisible may make us forget that for a time.

If we aren’t being acknowledged our ideas can’t be heard. We have a lot to offer, and if we want to be included we cannot shrink when we’ve been ignored. We need to stand firm, and clearly and calmly state our position. Sometimes we may have to state it more than once to get the attention we deserve, and we can do that. We can be tenacious, and patient and keep trying until we break through. Giving up will never take us where we want to go. We must be determined to be successful. We don’t have to raise our voices to be heard, and sometimes speaking quietly and patiently will get us the attention we need. We can assess the situation and determine the best method for getting through, and then using that method, we will succeed. If we really want to be heard, we can’t shrink and turn away but need to stay on course.

Sometimes we don’t feel invisible because we’re being ignored, but because we’ve been hurt or offended, and want to disappear until the situation improves. But being invisible and trying to disappear are just ways of hiding from the situation, which doesn’t change anything. We are where we are at all times. Trying to hide, and keep a low profile, and trying to be invisible won’t help us resolve whatever issue we’re dealing with. The best we can do is be present, offer our voice, and participate going forward despite the disappointment and pain we’ve already endured. Our presence is important and there isn’t any situation, problem or complication that will come to us that we can’t resolve. Hiding from it will only make the situation last longer than it needs to. We can’t fix something we aren’t willing to face. So we must be in the moment, facing everything that comes, and resolving every difficulty. We can do anything. We are capable enough and brave enough to manage whatever comes to us. We can do it in the open, and make choices that will resolve any issue.

Today if you feel invisible and that others aren’t hearing you, or if you’ve been hiding and trying to disappear, step up, express yourself calmly and clearly, and state your position. Be tenacious and patient, and remember who you are. Your ideas are valuable. We all need to hear from you. Share your voice today and show us the way.

Don’t Look

25 Sep

There are sometimes things that come into our lives that are hard to look at. They might be difficult to understand, so unexpected we can’t accept them, or so different from what we want we can’t even look at them. We might choose to look the other way and pretend they don’t exist.  If they pop into our line of vision, we can just avert our gaze. If someone brings them up we can pretend we didn’t hear and change the subject. We can deny they even exist.  But denial is just a way of postponing the inevitable. We will eventually have to face whatever is weighing on us, and denying it now will not prevent us from having to deal with it in the future. Hiding our heads in the sand and refusing to look at the issue will just keep it in stasis. The time in between is time we might use to process the problem, but we have to be careful. Sometimes waiting makes things worse.

How do we face things that seem too difficult for us? How do we look at them when the thought of them makes us shudder? There really isn’t anything we can’t face when we decide to, but sometimes we have to take it slowly, and unravel the problem one bit at a time. If we’ve learned we have a serious health issue, and we’re too afraid to accept it, we could begin by reading some information about it. If we learn about it, and better understand what is happening we may not be so afraid. If someone close to us says they’re leaving us and we don’t think we can face life without them, we could objectively look at our lives and see where we’ve done well in the past. In any difficult situation, we could begin by looking at how we could re-order our lives to accept the new reality we’re facing. We could start by just imagining how we might move forward.

Big changes, big challenges, and sudden complications can knock us down, but that’s only temporary. We’re down because we’re surprised, and we aren’t sure how to navigate. Sitting down and taking a moment can help with that. But we will get up again. We can figure out how to process anything that comes to us. We may need some time, and we might need the help of others, but we will figure it out. Sometimes the most unexpected and seemingly disastrous developments that enter our lives lead us to remarkable changes, and incredible growth. Sometimes they even turn our course to paths we hadn’t previously considered, which bring us increased happiness and peace. Change is not easy. Disappointing and difficult changes are harder. But hiding from them rarely helps. If we face them, we can take it minute by minute, give ourselves time to think and adjust, and get through them. We won’t just survive, we’ll thrive going forward.

Today if you’re trying to adjust to an unexpected and difficult change, and you feel like you’ve had the wind knocked out of you, if you’re stunned and can’t figure out what to do, it’s okay. You’re completely capable of handling this. You don’t need to hide. You don’t have to look the other way. Take small steps. You’ll figure it all out and you’ll go forward. You will find happiness and peace again. It doesn’t matter how many steps you need. Each one will bring you closer to where you want to be.