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Defining the Deal

12 Jul

Every single person on earth is different. There are all kinds of personalities and temperaments, endless expressions and ideas, and no two people are exactly alike. What one loves, another despises, what brings pleasure to one, brings frustration to another. We may believe our interpretations are right but actually they are only right for us. When we’re growing up in our first family, the patterns and traditions we learn seem to be the only way to live. But as we grow and are exposed to the world we learn that everyone has their own ideas about how life works and what they do. When we must face an extreme difficulty and are having trouble finding our way it may be a big deal for us to process. We may struggle to find our footing and reach out to those around us for advice and help. Someone may look at our situation and feel it’s ridiculous and our worries are unfounded. Perhaps what we’re going through seems insignificant, and it might be if it happened to them. But it’s not happening to them, it’s happening to us and everybody’s life experience is different. What’s meaningless to one may be crucial to another. We are the only ones who know how important any issue is to us. We are the ones who define the deal and decide if it’s important and far reaching or something less we can manage and move on. It doesn’t matter if everyone around us sees things differently, we can define any issue in ways that make sense to us and find our way through.

When we’re struggling it doesn’t help to have someone diminish our feelings. Telling us we shouldn’t feel one way or another is futile and ineffective. Our feelings often come unbidden and may be intense and painful. While we may not always be able to control how we feel we can control what we do. We can listen to whatever advice we deem helpful, learn as much as possible about the situation and then decide how to move forward. We have all the intelligence and wisdom we need to figure out any issue and find the answers we need.

When we’re facing a big decision or our situation is fraught with complications and it’s hard to see the way ahead, doubts may creep in and we may find it hard to move forward. When there are a lot of things going wrong we may get jumbled up in the noise and confusion and struggle to figure out what to do. We never have to solve everything all at once. We need only look at where we want to begin. Every problem has a solution and even if it’s a big deal and very complex we can solve it. We are smart enough and strong enough to do anything.

Today if you’re facing a big challenge and feel daunted and unsure, decide on the first step you want to take. You don’t have to find all the answers today. Simply determine how to begin and take the first step forward. The solutions are there and with patience and diligence you will find them all. You are amazing and nothing is too difficult for you. Be confident. You know what you want and you will prevail.

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Covering

9 Jul

We are all responsible for our own lives and what we accomplish.  There may be times when we interact with someone who has a fluid idea of what their responsibility means.  They may let things slide they aren’t interested in or may manage their time in ways that prevent them from being as effective as they could be.  If we depend on them to complete something that impacts what we’re doing and they drop the ball it may stop our progress.  If the issue is important or time sensitive and hasn’t been done, we may jump in and do the job in an effort to keep things moving forward.  It’s good to be helpful but if we find we’re always covering for someone else and picking up the slack because they don’t follow through, we may create more problems for ourselves in the end.  If others begin to rely on us to cover for them there will be no reason to change their behavior.  Why should they do something they don’t want to do if we’ll come in and do it for them?  It can be hard to let something slide because someone didn’t do their part when the task is important to us, but letting others own their responsibilities and be accountable for them is appropriate.  If we stop cleaning up other people’s messes they will remain for them to address.  If something doesn’t get done we can always re-route our way forward.  There are plenty of alternatives for every situation.  We don’t have to wait indefinitely for anyone to do their part.  Instead, we can go right around them.  Our lives are ours and we can do anything we want to do.  It’s great to get cooperation from those around us, but if that’s not available, we can find the way on our own.

Helping others accomplish their tasks opens the door to learning new skills.  Each time we do something new we learn a skill to take forward with us.  It’s great to have a broad scope of understanding in the areas important to us or in arenas we enjoy.  We can offer to help when needed without taking on the full responsibility of the task.  Sharing the load can move things forward more quickly but sharing is only taking on part of the work.  We don’t have to take over the entire project simply because we want to help.  We can allow the others involved to do their part and work together to find success.

Some people don’t like to teach others about their responsibilities.  They may feel if they are the only one who knows how to do a task they will always have a place in the project.  There is security in being the only one who knows how to do something but being willing to show others how to accomplish the task will open new doors for us going forward.  We are all valuable and important and we can be open to working as a team to get things done.  All options are possible and working together will help us achieve every goal we desire.

Today if you’ve been covering for someone again and again, step back and look at your responsibilities clearly.  Do your part and let those around you do theirs.  If they don’t move forward, move around them.  You can do anything and nothing is strong enough to hold you in place.  Choose the best way forward and you will find success.

Fabricating Happiness

3 Jul

We interact with many different types of people on a daily basis. We connect with them as we move through our lives and build relationships with those we enjoy, those we love, and those on whom we rely. Many times, those connections bring great pleasure and security to our lives but sometimes we may build a relationship with someone who makes choices that bring us disharmony and confusion. If we want strong and healthy relationships there must be complete honesty in our interactions. But some people aren’t consistently honest and bend the truth to suit their needs. It’s not pleasant to confront a lie and we may choose to give them the benefit of the doubt despite their choices. It’s difficult to be in a relationship with someone who lies or pretends that things are different than they really are. Truth is truth and the only way to live successfully is to face it openly and completely. Wanting to believe in a lie will never make it the truth. Looking the other way in the face of dishonesty will never bring us happiness. Everyone makes their own decisions and we are all accountable for every choice. We can choose to be honest in all our dealings and build strong relationships based on real trust. We never have to go along with a lie. We can live straight and true to the values we honor and choose the right at every turn. When we do we will find happiness and peace going forward.

Few things in life are constant. Things change continually and just when we’re sure we know what will happen next, something turns us around and everything is different. Our situations are constantly in flux and if we want to reach success we must be clear and honest about our intentions and desires. We can’t control what may happen but we are always in control of our decisions. If we are honest and up front in our interactions we will more effectively find the path we need to travel and reach the goals we desire.

Honesty doesn’t come on a sliding scale. There is no such thing as being somewhat honest, or honest most of the time. We either are honest is our dealings or we aren’t. If we bend the truth, color the facts to get what we want, or pretend that things are different than they are, we are lying to ourselves and those around us. Lies may bring us immediate gratification but they will never bring us lasting happiness or success. We can face our lives as they are even if they aren’t where we want them to be. Change is always possible and if we aren’t happy we can truthfully and honestly do what is needed to modify our course to reach the happiness we desire. Our lives are our responsibility and our choices make us who we are. We can choose well and find great contentment and success.

Today if you’re dealing with someone who isn’t honest with you, look at the situation openly and completely. Let the facts show you the truth and decide how you want to proceed. What you choose tells the world who you are. Show us your best and lead the way to success.

 

One Step Forward

2 Jul

There is much to learn as we navigate through our lives.  There are things we need to master to be effective in our jobs or responsibilities, things we want to accomplish that bring us pleasure, and things that must be learned in order to survive.  The road to understanding anything takes time and effort.  We gain some knowledge simply by living our lives and interacting with others.  But much of what we want to understand and fully embrace requires time and diligence.  We push forward to conquer one step and that leads us to the next.  One thing upon another takes us down the path of comprehension until we fully grasp what we’ve been seeking.  When we want to move quickly we may try to take shortcuts as we process everything before us and sometimes they help but can backfire and require us to take a step back and try again.  It’s hard to be patient when we’re trying to master something important and it requires a long time.  It’s hard to wait for understanding when the knowledge we desire will move us closer to where we want to be.  One thing is certain, if we stop we will never succeed.  Even if what we’re trying to do takes years to achieve we can be diligent in pressing forward a little each day to eventually reach the goal.  By keeping our eyes forward and taking one step at a time we can reach any destination we desire.  Nothing is out of reach and success is always possible.  We have everything we need to do anything we choose.  It’s all there for us.  With patience and determination we can reach every goal.

If we decide to tackle a huge goal that requires much time and effort we may struggle pushing forward.  Those around us may offer their support or they may discourage us perhaps believing the goal is too difficult and we will never win.  They may advise us to be happy with what we already have and to let go of the desire to gain more.  Our choices are ours to make and we may abort any plans at any time.  But if we want to achieve the things we truly desire it doesn’t matter how hard the road gets.  We can continue forward and manage any difficulty required to reach the goal.  We are strong and capable and can make all our dreams come true.

When the road is long it’s natural to tire and desire rest.  We can always step away from any struggle when we need refreshment.  Taking a break doesn’t mean we are giving up.  If we need time to regroup we can take it.  When we’re ready to begin again the road will still be there waiting for our return.  We can have the lives we dream about and do all the things we imagine.  The whole world is there for us and every destination is possible.  We can move forward one step at a time and find success.

Today if you’re pushing toward a goal and aren’t sure you can keep going, decide what you really want in your life.  Every dream is possible and you are strong enough and wise enough to make them come true.  Look ahead.  Decide how you want to proceed, chart your course and continue forward.  Success is always there for you and you will reach it.

Making Predictions

26 Jun

Our lives are a combination of what’s behind us, what we’re going through now and what we hope will come in the future.  When we make decisions that fail or take us somewhere we didn’t want to go we can learn from what happened and take the lessons forward with us to help us choose more wisely in the future.  Everyone has something in their past they would like to erase, some choice that turned out badly and hurt them or those around them.  It would be great if we could delete the things we’ve done we regret but this is real life and what’s behind us is permanent and unchangeable.  Looking back in an effort to see things more clearly and understand more deeply what happened in an effort to learn can be helpful.  But if we hold onto what we perceive as personal failures and get stuck obsessing over what we did wrong it may color our ability to be successful in the future.  There is no way to predict what will come to us but we have control over how we handle every situation every time.  We are not doomed to repeat mistakes again and again simply because they are part of our history.  We can change and grow and learn new ways to find success.  Everyone makes mistakes – sometimes big, disastrous mistakes – but they don’t predict what we’ll do in the future.  We are capable of learning and using increased wisdom as we move forward, and when we do, no matter what’s happened in the past, we can find success.
There is a common saying that “Once a dog, always a dog,” meaning if someone made a big mistake in the past, odds are they’ll do it again.  We’re all capable of change and if we fall down we can learn everything possible so we can choose more effectively in the future.  However, if we stumble and refuse to see the lessons there for us, we may well repeat the behavior, sometimes again and again.  We are in control of the decisions we make and our futures belong to us.  We can become the people we most want to be by paying attention and gaining all we can from what we experience each day and using the lessons learned to help us move forward.
One big mistake does not determine our future.  Even if everything falls apart and our lives seemingly blow up in our faces we are not permanently frozen in place.  Sometimes everything goes wrong and at first, we can’t see the way forward.  There is nothing powerful enough to hold us down forever.  No matter what goes wrong there will be another day and new decisions to make.  We can be confident, even if we’ve failed in the past, that we can reach success.  The wrong decision is only that – the wrong decision.  It’s not the end of the road.  We can reroute the way forward and start again.  Every dream is possible and nothing can keep us from achieving them.
Today if you’re focusing on something that went wrong in the past and aren’t sure you can reach your goals, there is always a way to find success.  There are unlimited choices before you and you can do anything.  Step forward and start again.  Every option is there and nothing is out of reach.  Learn from the past and push ahead.  The whole world is waiting for you.  Every dream can come true and you will succeed.

Not All That

20 Jun

Everyone has their own opinions about everything in life.  We like some things, we don’t like other things, and everything we do is colored by how we feel about it.  We’re all different and even if we think our opinions are the right ones there will be others who believe the same about an opposing viewpoint.  There is no one right way to live.  We are all entitled to our own interpretations and beliefs.  We can live any way we choose but we are only in charge of our own lives and don’t have the authority to tell the rest of the human race how to live.  While our viewpoint may be perfect for us, it doesn’t necessarily follow that it will be perfect for everyone else.  And the same is true for each of us.  Opinions are unique to each individual and we don’t have to agree with everything others do.  We can respect their right to choose their own path and if it’s in direct opposition with ours, simply step out of the way.  Trying to control others or convince them our way is best may make us feel better but it won’t change the fact that we all get to make our own decisions.  The differences in life are what make it precious and exciting.  We can honor those differences and let others be who they want to be without demanding they be like us.  Variety brings interest and excitement and we can accept everyone for who they are and respect their right to choose.  There are endless possibilities around us and seeing the benefit of every unique blessing will bring us happiness and satisfaction as we move forward.

We may be very nice, friendly people but no matter what we do not everyone is going to like us.  Someone may tell us they don’t think much of us and we’re not all that.  It stings to know that others don’t like us but opinions belong only to those who possess them.  We need not internalize other people’s ideas or think we’re less because someone doesn’t understand us or doesn’t appreciate what we bring.  We can be confident in choosing well, and move forward knowing who we are and what we want.  We don’t need the approval of others to find success.  We are capable of finding it on our own and reaching any goal we desire.

Differences may bring conflict and when we’re trying to accomplish something and it goes against the views of those around us we may be pressed to conform to their ideas and let go of the path we’ve chosen.  We can always change course and if we want to join the group and follow along we certainly may.  But our choices are important and we can do anything we want to do.  If we must swim upstream, we are strong enough to get there.  We can choose the way forward even if nobody else agrees and we can find our own way.  Every dream is possible and nothing is beyond our reach.  We can forge our personal path and find success.

Today if others don’t agree with you and you’re left standing alone on the road you’ve chosen, be confident and continue ahead.  You know who you are and what you want.  You don’t need agreement to find success.  Move forward toward the goals you desire and trust your instincts.  You have everything you need to succeed and every destination is possible.

Maybe

12 Jun

We make millions of decisions as we go through our lives. Every day there are many things that require us to choose one thing or another. Many of the routine choices we make are inconsequential and it may not matter which way we go, but some things can be very important and weigh a lot depending on how we choose. It may not matter what shirt we wear or how we get to our destinations, but it may matter a lot whether or not we choose to go in the first place. Our lives will always be a reflection of the decisions we make. If we choose well and take roads that lead us to success we will find happiness and satisfaction. If we choose poorly or continually go around in circles of indecision instead of picking a path forward we may find confusion and disharmony. We are always in control of ourselves and every decision we make brings a result. If we don’t pay attention, or don’t care, or if we’re heavily influenced by situations or those around us, we may not make the best decisions we could. If they bring us unpleasant consequences we may be miserable in the end. Indecision can never move us forward. Saying “maybe we will,” or “maybe we won’t” is the same as doing nothing. If we want to move forward we must be proactive and confident and decide which way we’ll go. We can be thoughtful each time we choose and confidently determine the journey ahead. We have everything we need to find success and there isn’t anything too complicated for us to figure out.

When we have important decisions to make we can take the time we need to ensure we’re headed in the direction we most want to go. There’s no rush to decide but refusing to choose because we aren’t sure isn’t the same as taking time to evaluate the possibilities. Procrastinating a decision will not make it easier and continuing to go over the same facts will never change a situation. We can get all the information we need, see everything clearly, weigh all the options, and then determine what our next steps will be. We are capable of making excellent decisions and we can trust ourselves to choose wisely and move toward success.

Everybody makes mistakes and sometimes we may make a bad decision that impacts our lives negatively. We don’t know what we don’t know and there may be times when things are very different than we thought they were. We own every decision we make and blaming others or the situation when things go wrong will not improve what’s happening. If we’ve erred and are now suffering we can objectively look at all the options before us and redirect our path forward. It’s like missing an exit on the highway. We can loop back around and get it right the next time. There isn’t anything we can’t do and do well. By choosing carefully and doing what is needed to move forward we will reach any destination we desire.

Today if you’ve got a big decision looming and are unsure about how to proceed, take a look at all the possibilities. Weigh the options carefully and determine the best road forward. You are wise and capable, and every destination is possible. Be confident. You have everything you need to find success.