Archive | March, 2018

Upstream

30 Mar

We live in a world with billions of other people.  Each one is unique and different from us in some way.  There are all kinds of ideas, beliefs, patterns, laws, rules, and interpretations.  We may understand and agree with some of them and others may escape our comprehension altogether.  There is a lot of diversity in everything and it can be difficult to understand it all.  If we get tangled up in a situation where others are doing things we aren’t comfortable with we may be concerned about what will happen next.  If they are doing or saying things that make us unsure, we don’t have to remain in place.  We can always step aside and walk away.  Everything is continually changing and the world may seem crazy at times like everything has turned upside down and nothing is right.  No matter what others are doing we can hold onto what is important to us.  Even if nobody else agrees we can continue forward according to our own personal convictions and desires.  We may need to swim upstream against a current of people going the other way, but we are strong enough to continue toward our goals.  Our decisions are ours to make and we don’t need approval or agreement to make them.  We can do the things we want to do and go where we want to go.  Every destination is possible even if we’re the only one who wants to go there.  Our uniqueness is what brings blessings to the world around us.  We can be exactly who we are and find happiness.  Swimming upstream takes more energy than going with the flow but we are strong and capable, and can make all our dreams come true.

Societal norms and family traditions can define how we live our lives.  It’s easy to go along with what everyone else is doing and comply with traditional patterns.  Many people find comfort in conformity and there is historical strength in tradition.  Those roads are well paved from constant travelers and on them our roles are clearly defined.  Doing what is expected may work for us but predictable roads will only take us to predictable destinations.  If we want something different we must change direction and forge a new path.  There are endless roads we can choose and unlimited destinations before us.  We can determine what we want the most and then begin forward on the road that will take us to it.

Blending in is much easier than being different.  If we do things and basically look like most of the people around us it may be easier to find acceptance and navigate forward.  But every one of us is unique and have specific and exclusive gifts to offer.  If we keep them hidden in an effort to conform, the world will miss out on our particular influence.  We have so much to offer.  We can be confident in stepping forward as we are and truly expressing our individuality.  The world needs our viewpoint and is blessed because we are here.

Today if you feel like you’re swimming upstream and are tired of pushing ahead, remember how much you have to offer.  You bring a light that no one else can share.  Let us see who you really are and show us your strength. Everyone wants to share your life and know you.  Be confident in being yourself.  It’s the very best you can be.

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Steering

29 Mar

Life is filled with unlimited possibilities. There are countless roads we can travel and nothing is out of reach if we are determined to get there. Each decision we make alters our course a little and if we carefully consider the destination we want to reach we can steer our lives toward it and find success. But life is complicated and there are all kinds of people coming in and out of our daily experiences. Each one brings their own interpretations about the road ahead and we may be influenced by their impressions and opinions. We may get caught up in someone else’s goals and instead of staying on our own course, follow them. Their path may be on the same trajectory as the road we want to travel or it may take us far away from where we really want to go. When we admire someone or they have power over us in some way their influence may pull us away from our personal goals. We can follow anyone we desire but if we forsake the road we most want to travel we will not reach our destination. We are the ones driving the train in our lives. We own every decision we make. If we steer our course away from where we want to go we are responsible for where we end up. We can’t blame anyone for the choices we make. If we find ourselves somewhere we never intended to go, we can go back and re-route our course. Our lives belong to us and we can do anything we desire. Happiness comes from traveling the roads that take us to the destinations we want the most. It’s all up to us. There is nothing out of reach and we can go anywhere but we have to be in control to get there.

Lots of people may have opinions about our lives and what we should do. They may tell us they know how we can find success or give us directions that worked for them. They may have good advice for us but we are the only ones who know what we truly want. We can listen to everything we receive and make decisions based on what we want most. What is right for someone else may not fit our true desires.   Every decision we make will take us somewhere. We have everything we need to choose the roads that will lead to the destination we want and find success.

There may be times when someone close to us tries to control the decisions we make. They may feel we aren’t do things as well as they could and try to help by taking over. We are in charge of our lives and we need never relinquish our power over where we go or what we do. We are capable of finding success in our own personal way. There isn’t a road we can’t travel and nothing is too far away. We can take our time and do things our way. We are capable of great success and nothing can keep us from it.

Today if you’ve been steering your course away from the road you really want to travel, change direction and correct the way forward. Every destination is there for you and you can do what is needed to reach it. Be confident in your decisions and trust your instincts. You know what you need and where you want to go. The whole world is there for you. You can do anything and nothing is too far to reach. Press forward and you will find success.

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Doing Laundry

28 Mar

Learning to navigate through conflict isn’t always easy.  When we disagree with someone and things escalate it can be hard to stay on the subject at hand.  If we are passionate about our position and afraid we are losing we may decide to bring other issues into the conversation.  We all have a laundry list of things that bother us, and if we feel our position is slipping we may pull it out and begin sharing all the things that bother us.  They say the best defense is a good offense and that works in some situations but in our interpersonal relationships going for the throat and hitting with all our might may cause damage we don’t want.  It’s normal to get mad sometimes and there may be moments when the person we are closest to drives us nuts.  We can always do the laundry and tell them all the things we don’t like, or we can wait, allow time to calm down, and then talk about what we want.  Words are powerful and once uttered are permanent.  There is no way to go back and erase something we’ve said.  When we lash out in anger and say things that hurt others we may win the battle today but the lingering pain of what we’ve said may last indefinitely.  Instead of doing laundry when we feel overcome, we can look at the situation more objectively.  Many things we disagree about are insignificant in the scope of life.  We can step back, take a breath and see the situation more clearly.  Our relationships are important and take precedence over any difference of opinion.  We can choose to value them and even in disagreement, take care of them.  Every happiness is possible.  Choosing well will help us achieve it.

We would never use a cannon to kill a fly.  A fly swatter is sufficient for the situation and it’s absurd to consider anything more but sometimes in conflict we may choose a cannon when all we need is a fly swatter.  When we feel we are losing we may want to stop everyone in their tracks and take the biggest weapon we can find.  But it’s not helpful to choose something that will destroy when all we really need is a little more influence.  We have all the wisdom we need to make excellent decisions, even in conflict.  We can be appropriate and careful, and still prevail while protecting our relationships.

When we get hit our first reaction may be to hit back.  We don’t have to take abuse without responding but how we respond often determines what happens next.  We can diffuse any situation and find a solution more easily by addressing the affront with patience and clarity.  Communicating calmly will end conflict more effectively than fighting back.  We can choose the best roads going forward.  We can be in control and make decisions that will bring us peace and success.

Today if you’ve had it and want to pull out the laundry list of things you don’t like, think about where that will take you.  Your relationships are precious and more important than any disagreement.  Step back and decide the best way forward.  You are strong and powerful, and nothing is too difficult for you.  Think clearly and choose well.  You’ll find greater happiness and peace ahead.

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Stepping Out

27 Mar

There are billions of people on earth and unless we live on a deserted island or on top of a remote mountain, some of them will be right next to us. It’s great to have company as we go through our lives but we’re all individuals and sometimes we bump into each other as we move along. Conflict is a normal part of life and we all experience it from time to time. When it erupts and escalates, even if we aren’t the key players, we may find ourselves swept up in the melee. When ideas clash and tempers rise, we may be caught up in the struggle and carried along simply because we are there. We can remain in the fight and try to help resolve the conflict, or we can step out and allow those involved to find the answers without us. We all want to be there for those we care about but it’s important to understand where the lines of responsibility lie. We can be supportive and still stay out of the fight. We all have enough personal battles of our own and we can step out of those that belong to others. It doesn’t mean we don’t care. It’s simply a way to respect the right of others to disagree and work out their problem themselves. Learning to resolve conflict and find answers in the midst of struggle are valuable tools to carry forward. We can be supportive and kind, and still allow those around us to find answers on their own. We are all responsible for our own lives. We can stand on our own, face our personal struggles, and find the way forward. There isn’t any problem too complex for us to understand and even in difficulty and duress, we can find the way ahead.

Everyone deals with conflict their own way. Some people can step back from their feelings and easily see things objectively and openly. It’s easier to find answers when our emotions aren’t involved, but sometimes if our feelings have been hurt or we are being influenced by others around us, looking at the situation impartially may be more difficult. It’s hard to find the right road ahead when we’re looking in another direction. We can take our time and evaluate what we really want moving forward. The best answers will always be there for us. When we’re ready we will find them.

We all want to make the best decisions going forward but life is complicated and there are often many factors to be considered. When there are many options going in different directions it can be hard to find the right answer. Weighing all the possibilities and seeing where each will take us will clarify our choices and help us choose the best road ahead. There isn’t any puzzle too complex for us figure out. We have all the wisdom and insight we need to resolve any issue and continue toward success.

Today if you’re involved in a struggle that belongs to others, step out and allow them to resolve the conflict together. You need not adopt any issue that isn’t yours. Be supportive and kind and let those involved find the answers they need. You are wise and helpful and can be an example of strength and understanding. Show us your confidence and courage, and continue to move forward toward success.

 

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Leaning In

26 Mar

We go through a lot of experiences every day as we navigate through our lives.  Some things bring us joy, some make us angry, some are boring and others may be intense or pass with little notice.  Our emotions and how we respond to them are part of what make us human and help others relate to us.  Some people are good at hiding their emotions and prefer not to let others see how they really feel.  Others wear their hearts on their sleeves and we can see everything they’re feeling most of the time.  Being open with our feelings helps us express ourselves and makes it easier for others to understand us.  But if our feelings are negative, or angry and intense, allowing them to color our interactions may make our lives more difficult and complicated.  It’s fine to share personal expressions but we must remember they may affect the message we are trying to portray.  When we are upset and angry and scream at those around us to make a point, the only thing we may accomplish is to push them away.  Trying to understand someone who is hysterical or acting irrationally out of anger is almost impossible.  We can express even intense disappointment in a better way.  If we want to make sure others grasp how important something is, it’s more effective to lower our voices than to raise them.  If we blast those around us with powerful loud voices, they will often step back.  But when our voice is quieter, people will lean in closer to hear what we have to say.  Being heard is important and even if we’re intensely upset we can control our emotions to allow that to happen.

The only way for a baby to express pain, hunger or unhappiness is to scream and cry.  But as we mature, if we want to be happy, we must learn self-control.  As adults, it will never work in our favor to stamp our feet and scream because we are unhappy.  There are no good answers to be found in bad behavior.  We can be in control of our emotions, even when they are intense, and express ourselves in ways that bring people closer and open the doors to the way forward.

Life will surely bring us happy times and difficult, sometimes complicated and extreme problems.  We don’t have to pretend to be happy when things are going wrong but we can control how we respond to every situation in order to bring the best results.  Jumping to hysteria and pushing the panic button every time something goes awry will never take us where we really want to go.  It’s exhausting and keeps us from thinking about our next step.  We have everything we need to understand any situation that comes to us.  If we take time to think instead of react we will find all the answers we need to find our way through.  We are strong and capable, and can live well and effectively.

Today if you’re furious over something and want to lash out at those around you, quiet your thoughts and allow yourself time to think.  You can control your emotions in ways that will bring you happiness and success.  Step back and then step forward.  There isn’t anything you can’t manage and succeed.  You are strong and amazing, and nothing is too difficult for you to overcome.

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