Tag Archives: Norm


30 Mar

We live in a world with billions of other people.  Each one is unique and different from us in some way.  There are all kinds of ideas, beliefs, patterns, laws, rules, and interpretations.  We may understand and agree with some of them and others may escape our comprehension altogether.  There is a lot of diversity in everything and it can be difficult to understand it all.  If we get tangled up in a situation where others are doing things we aren’t comfortable with we may be concerned about what will happen next.  If they are doing or saying things that make us unsure, we don’t have to remain in place.  We can always step aside and walk away.  Everything is continually changing and the world may seem crazy at times like everything has turned upside down and nothing is right.  No matter what others are doing we can hold onto what is important to us.  Even if nobody else agrees we can continue forward according to our own personal convictions and desires.  We may need to swim upstream against a current of people going the other way, but we are strong enough to continue toward our goals.  Our decisions are ours to make and we don’t need approval or agreement to make them.  We can do the things we want to do and go where we want to go.  Every destination is possible even if we’re the only one who wants to go there.  Our uniqueness is what brings blessings to the world around us.  We can be exactly who we are and find happiness.  Swimming upstream takes more energy than going with the flow but we are strong and capable, and can make all our dreams come true.

Societal norms and family traditions can define how we live our lives.  It’s easy to go along with what everyone else is doing and comply with traditional patterns.  Many people find comfort in conformity and there is historical strength in tradition.  Those roads are well paved from constant travelers and on them our roles are clearly defined.  Doing what is expected may work for us but predictable roads will only take us to predictable destinations.  If we want something different we must change direction and forge a new path.  There are endless roads we can choose and unlimited destinations before us.  We can determine what we want the most and then begin forward on the road that will take us to it.

Blending in is much easier than being different.  If we do things and basically look like most of the people around us it may be easier to find acceptance and navigate forward.  But every one of us is unique and have specific and exclusive gifts to offer.  If we keep them hidden in an effort to conform, the world will miss out on our particular influence.  We have so much to offer.  We can be confident in stepping forward as we are and truly expressing our individuality.  The world needs our viewpoint and is blessed because we are here.

Today if you feel like you’re swimming upstream and are tired of pushing ahead, remember how much you have to offer.  You bring a light that no one else can share.  Let us see who you really are and show us your strength. Everyone wants to share your life and know you.  Be confident in being yourself.  It’s the very best you can be.

Popping the Balloon

5 Oct

Confidence is something we all want. For some of us it comes easily. We feel strongly about our abilities and our self-worth, and are naturally confident in what we do and what we say. For others it’s not that easy. We may have scars from people putting us down or criticizing us, or we may feel we are unworthy in some way or another. When confidence comes easily it may seem second nature to us, but if we have to work at it sometimes it’s hard to achieve. If we’re trying hard to feel stronger about ourselves and doing things to build our confidence, it helps to have the support of those around us. But if someone close to us jabs us with a critical comment or says something derogatory, it may stop us in our tracks and send us spiraling downward again. Like popping a balloon, all the air rushes out of our progress and we feel deflated, and lost. But we aren’t balloons, and even though someone is rude or critical, we don’t have to believe what they say. We can let their comments bounce off us, and continue on our journey.

Sometimes a lack of confidence comes from a feeling of not fitting in. There are certain norms in every avenue of our lives. When most people do something a certain way, it becomes the norm. But fitting the norm just means we’re like a lot of other people. If we’re living our lives differently according to our personal desires, and we don’t match up with what’s expected, we’re being individuals. We don’t have to fit anybody’s idea of what we should be. We are entitled to be who we are, even if that’s different from everyone else. Being unique doesn’t diminish our value. Being different doesn’t make us less, but sometimes we can feel that way. It’s important to embrace the person we really are. There are many different colors in the world. Every one of them is unique and every one is beautiful in its own way. We’re the same. We are beautiful and worthwhile just as we are.

Building a more confident feeling of self-worth is a process. We can start by focusing on things we already do well. Maybe we can draw beautiful pictures, maybe we play an instrument, maybe we have an amazing vocabulary, or maybe we’re really good at listening. Everyone has something they do well, and once we identify what ours is, it will build us up as we move along.  If others don’t understand us, that’s okay. We’re all unique and get to design our lives to fit our personal desires. Some people won’t get us, some people won’t agree with what we’re doing, and some people won’t enjoy us as much as we might like. But no matter what others think, we may choose to live our lives any way we see fit.  We can do things our way and we can be confident.  Our way is the best way for us.

Today if you’re feeling like you’re not quite good enough, or like you don’t fit in, remember you are unique and special.  You do a lot of things well. Don’t compare yourself to what someone else thinks you should be. Be exactly who you really are. You have a lot to offer, and you have a lot to share. You are wonderful just as you are. You can do anything, and you don’t need anyone’s approval to succeed.