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Tag Archives: Approval

Giving It Away

6 Mar

We interact with many kinds of people as we go through our lives. We have friends, associates, co-workers, neighbors, family members and so on. Everyone has their own ideas about how things should go and some of them may have ideas about how we should live our lives. How much influence they have over us depends on many things. Our relationship status differs if they’re a friend, if they have authority over us, or if they’re someone very close to us. They may remain on the outskirts or our lives, or be with us much of the time. Our connection to them varies depending on how they relate to us and how much we want or need them. Those who are important hold a lot of influence and if they want us to do something it may carry a lot of weight. Although we’re certainly entitled to live our lives any way we choose, if those close to us exert pressure to conform to their ideas or ways, we may buckle and go along in an effort to keep the peace and make everyone happy. It’s nice to please others, but if we must give up who we are in order to accomplish it, we may lose a lot. Everyone’s unique and our desires and dreams are important. If others don’t share our vision, and we set our goals aside to accommodate their views, we’ll never realize our greatest potential or achieve our dreams. It’s impossible to live two lives at once. We can’t be everything to everyone and true to ourselves at the same time. Our relationships are important but our personal lives must take precedence when choosing the paths we’ll follow. We deserve every happiness and by being true to who we are and what we want, will achieve it.

Some of the most powerful relationships we have are those within our families. Our parents, siblings, children, spouses – all are very important and their opinions and advice may be very influential and significant. We want them to be happy and show respect for the relationship but if we go against what we feel is best for us, our lives will reflect their values and not our own. We never need to do anything we aren’t comfortable with, no matter who is asking. We can be respectful and kind, and still make decisions that express who we are.

There may be times when we’re confused or unsure, that we depend on others to show us the way forward. Relying on their help and advice when we need it is wise, but we are strong and capable and can do anything we desire. We know how to get information and help when we need it, and then walk forward on our own. Even if the road gets difficult, we can find our way through. We have all the confidence and wisdom we need to go anywhere and do anything.

Today if you’ve been going along with someone else’s decisions and doing things their way, remember you know yourself better than anyone else. You know what you want, and have everything you need to achieve it. Decide where you want to go and take a step forward on the road that will take you there. Trust yourself and be confident. Your life is important and you don’t need approval for anything you desire. Step forward and claim your dreams. Everything is possible and you will succeed.

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Unsung

19 Aug

As we go through our days we have limitless choices to make.  Every day brings a new challenge or question to answer.  If we want to be our best we try to make each decision well.  We try to keep our feet on the road we want to travel and get closer to the person we want to become.  Sometimes people notice our good works but often they just get lost in the shuffle of everyday living.  If we make a good decision that requires us to sacrifice something we may feel others should acknowledge it.  Perhaps we feel we should receive some kind of praise because we chose well.  But we don’t make good choices for the acclaim they bring.  We make them because they are the best decisions we can make going forward.  We will find great satisfaction by choosing well and oftentimes prevent complications and problems doing so.  We don’t need the praise or adoration of others because we were wise.  Being wise will bring us enough reward.  We will be content in our lives by choosing the best roads possible and feel good knowing we are doing our best.  Although the praise of others feels good it is not required or needed.

Some decisions we face may have attractive options that won’t take us where we want to go.  It can be hard to turn away from a quick fix or a poor choice that will bring us benefits we desire.  But temporary solutions generally bring only momentary happiness and often result in endless complications.  If we’re tired or frustrated and want to move forward quickly we may opt for them, but in the end may find the harder more effective decision was wiser.  We don’t need immediate gratification to find happiness.  We can carefully plan for all possible outcomes and choose the very best option even if it takes more time and is more difficult.  We are what we do.  If we want to be the very best we can be we must make the very best choices.

Some people need a lot of attention.  They want praise every time they do something right, and recognition when they accomplish a difficult task.  Oftentimes that need for attention comes from a lack of confidence.  We can be confident by choosing well.  The need for approval and acknowledgement may influence us into making decisions that aren’t the best choice going forward.  If what we’re seeking isn’t long term success but immediate praise, we may choose options that are quick and flashy but have no lasting success.  We don’t need the agreement of others to choose well.  We can make the best choices even if we stand alone.  We are smart enough, capable enough and wise enough to find the best answers and we are strong enough to choose them.  There isn’t anything we can’t understand and master if we want to badly enough.  We don’t need adoration to choose well.  We can make the best choices and succeed because it’s what we want most to do.

Today if you’re facing a decision choose the path that takes you closer to the person you want to be.  There is greatness in you.  Show the world who you really are by choosing well.  You have so much to offer and we all need your influence.  Choose wisely and success will follow.

Mother May I

19 Feb

When we were children as a way of protecting us from doing things beyond our ability to manage or that may hurt us, we were taught to ask for permission. Whenever we wanted to do something away from home, or anything different than the norm we were expected to ask first.  If we rebelled against that requirement and did something without asking, and it was something that should have been discussed prior, there were often unpleasant consequences to face afterward. And so we learned to ask or at least to make sure it was okay before proceeding. As we got older our lives became more independent and eventually we began to make decisions on our own. Permission is an agreement from someone in authority over us that we may do something we want to do. As adults, outside of work, or social situations where others may be impacted, we don’t need anyone’s permission to make our personal decisions. We are capable of choosing on our own.  The days of “Mother may I,” have passed.

Despite the fact that we are perfectly capable of managing our lives, we can get into situations with others where we feel we need to get their agreement in our personal decisions. Perhaps it’s a close friend who has a strong personality and wants to guide us. Perhaps the old patterns with our parents still linger. Perhaps it’s a relationship we value greatly and the other person wants control over or input into our decisions. There are lots of reasons we can feel we need to get permission or approval before going forward. But our lives belong to us and only us. We can make any personal decisions we want to and we don’t need anyone’s approval. We don’t have to tell anyone before we make a decision, even if it’s one we know others may not like. Our decisions are ours. We can make them on our own, be confident in our ability to choose well, and direct our lives accordingly.

People are complex. We have all kinds of emotions and feelings to contend with on a daily basis. Sometimes we may be fearful of doing something differently than what others may expect. That fear may prevent us from making decisions we really want to make. Or we might be unsure we can make a good decision without getting the approval of others first because we’ve always done that in the past. But we know how to make good decisions. We know how to weigh all the options and choose what’s best for us. Nobody really knows what’s best for us better than we do, not even those who love us. We are the only ones who know everything that’s going on inside and what we truly want. We know who we are and are able to make good, strong choices. If others disagree that will be their burden to carry. It is not our responsibility to ensure everyone is happy with the way we choose to live our lives. If we can remember that and trust in ourselves, we can go forward and make any decision we choose to with confidence. We can do anything. We just have to decide.

Today if you’ve been holding back on a personal decision because you know somebody won’t like it or won’t agree, if it’s important to you, go forward. You know what you need and what you want. There is nothing you can’t do. You are in charge of your life and can make it any way you want it. This is your day. Choose to make it completely yours.

Popping the Balloon

5 Oct

Confidence is something we all want. For some of us it comes easily. We feel strongly about our abilities and our self-worth, and are naturally confident in what we do and what we say. For others it’s not that easy. We may have scars from people putting us down or criticizing us, or we may feel we are unworthy in some way or another. When confidence comes easily it may seem second nature to us, but if we have to work at it sometimes it’s hard to achieve. If we’re trying hard to feel stronger about ourselves and doing things to build our confidence, it helps to have the support of those around us. But if someone close to us jabs us with a critical comment or says something derogatory, it may stop us in our tracks and send us spiraling downward again. Like popping a balloon, all the air rushes out of our progress and we feel deflated, and lost. But we aren’t balloons, and even though someone is rude or critical, we don’t have to believe what they say. We can let their comments bounce off us, and continue on our journey.

Sometimes a lack of confidence comes from a feeling of not fitting in. There are certain norms in every avenue of our lives. When most people do something a certain way, it becomes the norm. But fitting the norm just means we’re like a lot of other people. If we’re living our lives differently according to our personal desires, and we don’t match up with what’s expected, we’re being individuals. We don’t have to fit anybody’s idea of what we should be. We are entitled to be who we are, even if that’s different from everyone else. Being unique doesn’t diminish our value. Being different doesn’t make us less, but sometimes we can feel that way. It’s important to embrace the person we really are. There are many different colors in the world. Every one of them is unique and every one is beautiful in its own way. We’re the same. We are beautiful and worthwhile just as we are.

Building a more confident feeling of self-worth is a process. We can start by focusing on things we already do well. Maybe we can draw beautiful pictures, maybe we play an instrument, maybe we have an amazing vocabulary, or maybe we’re really good at listening. Everyone has something they do well, and once we identify what ours is, it will build us up as we move along.  If others don’t understand us, that’s okay. We’re all unique and get to design our lives to fit our personal desires. Some people won’t get us, some people won’t agree with what we’re doing, and some people won’t enjoy us as much as we might like. But no matter what others think, we may choose to live our lives any way we see fit.  We can do things our way and we can be confident.  Our way is the best way for us.

Today if you’re feeling like you’re not quite good enough, or like you don’t fit in, remember you are unique and special.  You do a lot of things well. Don’t compare yourself to what someone else thinks you should be. Be exactly who you really are. You have a lot to offer, and you have a lot to share. You are wonderful just as you are. You can do anything, and you don’t need anyone’s approval to succeed.