Advertisements
Tag Archives: Influence

Control

7 Nov

There are all kinds of people in the world. Most of us are nice, try to follow the rules and be considerate of others. We’re all entitled to make our own decisions and can design our lives any way we want. Although we can make our own choices, there are some people who like control. They tell others what to do, how to do it, when to do it and where. While controlling others may make them feel more confident and secure, it’s very uncomfortable for those with whom they interact. Nobody wants to be told how to live their lives. It’s annoying and awkward to get directions from an outsider regarding our personal choices. We already know what we want and don’t need someone else revising our plans. If we must interact with someone who wants to be in control of everything we do, it may be difficult to move ahead. Nobody knows us better than we know ourselves. We can make our own plans and determine every step we take. If others try to move in and take command over our lives, we don’t have to comply. We can step back and turn in another direction. We never have to do anything that makes us uncomfortable or takes us away from the things we most want to achieve. Nobody can live our lives but us, and we are responsible for every choice we make. We can go anywhere we choose, but if we sit back and let others direct us, we will end up where they want to go. What is perfect for them may not be what we want at all. We never need follow along no matter who is involved. It doesn’t matter how powerful someone else is, or how much influence they have, we can take charge and make our lives our own. We know how we want our lives to be, and with confidence and determination, we can achieve everything we desire. Nothing is too difficult for us to overcome and we can reach every goal we choose. Our personal success is important, and with focus and persistence, we will reach it.

It’s inappropriate to try to control other people’s choices. If we’re sure we’re right, we may try to influence them, cajole them, entreat them and plead with them to do things our way. However, directing others to follow us will not bring us real satisfaction or  lasting happiness. We have our own lives to manage and we’ll never move forward if we insist on directing traffic. We can trust others to make their own decisions and travel their own journeys.

Nobody is perfect or has all the right answers. Even if we have a genius IQ, we can’t know everything, but we can share what we know to embellish every situation. We can contribute without trying to control. Everyone has something wonderful to give and by honoring each individual and respecting their choices, we will find the best answers moving forward.

Today if you’re sure you have the right answers and want others to do things your way, remember everyone has something to share. We are all valuable and important. Be confident in your abilities, and allow those around you to contribute to your success. You are wise and thoughtful, and we all want to work with you. Every goal is possible, and together we can make our dreams come true.

Advertisements

Invisible Thread

16 Jul

The world is a busy place. There are billions of people doing billions of things all the time. Even in our small circle, there are others all around us and a lot going on. It might seem we’re all separate and doing things on our own, and sometimes we are, but in the overall scheme of things, we’re all connected more than we may realize. What one person does may have far reaching affects on the lives and decisions of those around them. Even insignificant, and seemingly unimportant choices may ripple through and change things in their path. Everything that happens creates something new. We never know how much impact our presence makes. Every step we take, every person we encounter, everything we say and do, creates a new reality around us. Like an invisible thread running through the world, our circles intertwine and our influence blends with those around us and creates the world we live in. There is no way to be in the world and leave it untouched. Just by being here we are making an impression of some kind. If we’re negative and mean, that impression may bring unhappiness and frustration. If we’re kind and caring, it may bring great comfort and satisfaction. Who we are and what we do will either embellish or detract from our experience and the experiences of those around us. We don’t live in a vacuum and will make an impact of some kind. Our lives are ours to design and we can do anything we like. We can bring light and joy and experience complete happiness. There is greatness in each of us. What we do with it is up to us.

When we think of the enormity of the world, we may feel insignificant and unnoticed. In the towns where we live, big or small, we feel ignored and overlooked. There is often a lot of noise and busyness, and if we’re demure or quiet, we may struggle to be heard. There is value in every voice and we all have something to offer. We can be confident, even if we’re not the fastest, the strongest, or the loudest, that our opinions and ideas are important. The gifts we have to offer are unique, and when we share them, we can change everything.

We’re all one human family and as such, feel each other’s pain and suffering. We feel grief when we hear of disasters and turmoil in far away places, and compassion for those who are struggling. We’re all different and there may be conflicting views, but we can overcome them by honoring our human connections and trusting each other. We’re all in this together, and each choice we make will either enrich us or detract from our experience. There is no way to remove the influence of our presence. We are integral and valuable. We can bring happiness and joy to those around us, and give light to the world.

Today if you feel like you’re not important and nobody cares about what you’re doing, remember nobody else in the entire world can give the gifts you offer. You are unique and precious, and the whole world is blessed because you are here. Be confident and trust yourself. You are amazing. Your influence reaches further than you imagine, and we are all enriched by your presence.

Loosening the Grip

21 Jun

Life is filled with options and every day we make dozens of decisions. Some of them are inconsequential and it doesn’t matter what we choose, but others may have far-reaching impact on our lives. Getting into debt, continuing a dysfunctional relationship, committing to more than we can accomplish, and other choices, may bring great stress and difficulty. It’s easy not to pay attention and make spur of the moment decisions, but every choice we make will take us somewhere and if the destination isn’t someplace we want to go, we may experience tribulation and discomfort. We’re always in control of our lives and can do anything we like. We can be aware of every choice and try to make excellent decisions, or we can fly by the seat of our pants and let the chips fall where they may. It’s all up to us. If we choose poorly and complicate our lives, we can try to blame others and their influence, our inability to see clearly, our inexperience, or anything else. But in the end, we own every choice we make. Thankfully, nothing in life is permanent and we can always modify our situation and the road ahead. It’s always possible to loosen the grip of any difficult situation and start again. There will always be an alternative available to us. It may take time to correct our position, and it may take work, but we have everything we need to do anything we desire. Every possibility is there for us and we can choose wisely and accomplish any task we choose. We deserve fulfilling and happy lives. We can make good, strong decisions, correct our course when needed, and step forward with confidence and clarity.

There are many influences from others that press on us every day. There are endless opinions about how we should live our lives, and if we aren’t sure about which way to turn, we may do as they suggest in an effort to find our way. We know ourselves better than anyone else and can make excellent decisions about what’s best for us. We have all the wisdom and intelligence we need to make good choices moving forward, and can find our way to any goal we desire.

Sometimes there may be pressure to follow along with those around us. It’s fun to join in with the group when they’re doing things we want to pursue, but if we have other ideas about where we want to go, we can forge our own personal path forward. Even if everyone is going one way, we can choose another. Our lives belong solely to us and we can do anything we want or go anywhere we want to go. The road ahead is determined by our decisions, and when we’re true to ourselves, all our dreams can come true.

Today if you’re in a bind because of decisions you’ve made, decide how you want to proceed. You have everything you need to get the life you want. Every challenge can be overcome and there are solutions and answers to every issue. Be confident and make a plan to move forward. Every dream is possible, and you can make them all yours.

Giving It Away

6 Mar

We interact with many kinds of people as we go through our lives. We have friends, associates, co-workers, neighbors, family members and so on. Everyone has their own ideas about how things should go and some of them may have ideas about how we should live our lives. How much influence they have over us depends on many things. Our relationship status differs if they’re a friend, if they have authority over us, or if they’re someone very close to us. They may remain on the outskirts or our lives, or be with us much of the time. Our connection to them varies depending on how they relate to us and how much we want or need them. Those who are important hold a lot of influence and if they want us to do something it may carry a lot of weight. Although we’re certainly entitled to live our lives any way we choose, if those close to us exert pressure to conform to their ideas or ways, we may buckle and go along in an effort to keep the peace and make everyone happy. It’s nice to please others, but if we must give up who we are in order to accomplish it, we may lose a lot. Everyone’s unique and our desires and dreams are important. If others don’t share our vision, and we set our goals aside to accommodate their views, we’ll never realize our greatest potential or achieve our dreams. It’s impossible to live two lives at once. We can’t be everything to everyone and true to ourselves at the same time. Our relationships are important but our personal lives must take precedence when choosing the paths we’ll follow. We deserve every happiness and by being true to who we are and what we want, will achieve it.

Some of the most powerful relationships we have are those within our families. Our parents, siblings, children, spouses – all are very important and their opinions and advice may be very influential and significant. We want them to be happy and show respect for the relationship but if we go against what we feel is best for us, our lives will reflect their values and not our own. We never need to do anything we aren’t comfortable with, no matter who is asking. We can be respectful and kind, and still make decisions that express who we are.

There may be times when we’re confused or unsure, that we depend on others to show us the way forward. Relying on their help and advice when we need it is wise, but we are strong and capable and can do anything we desire. We know how to get information and help when we need it, and then walk forward on our own. Even if the road gets difficult, we can find our way through. We have all the confidence and wisdom we need to go anywhere and do anything.

Today if you’ve been going along with someone else’s decisions and doing things their way, remember you know yourself better than anyone else. You know what you want, and have everything you need to achieve it. Decide where you want to go and take a step forward on the road that will take you there. Trust yourself and be confident. Your life is important and you don’t need approval for anything you desire. Step forward and claim your dreams. Everything is possible and you will succeed.

Getting It Back

11 Apr

There are all kinds of people in the world.  Some are nice, helpful and polite, and when we deal with them things often go well.  But there are opposites in everything and some people we run into may be mean spirited and cruel.  They may do things that hurt us, demean us, or in other ways make us feel bad about ourselves and our lives.  If they are forceful and powerful we may shrink every time we interact with them.  It’s difficult to be around mean people who are rude and hateful and as we deal with them, we may feel our confidence slipping away.  If they continually insult us or make snide remarks to us or about us we may begin to feel insecure and find our resolve weakening.  We all have the right to choose anything we like and some people will choose badly.  When they come into our lives they may bring us hardship and grief.  When we begin to feel the effects of their negative influence we may try to simply deal with it or ignore it and continue on, but we have the power and the right to stand up for ourselves.  We need not allow anyone to demean us or criticize us without responding.  If we’ve lost our confidence, we can get it back.  We can stand strong in the face of ignoble behavior and refuse to allow it to compromise us.  If someone says something derogatory to us, we can state clearly that we will not tolerate comments that hurt or demean us.  There is great power is speaking up and we can claim it.  We are strong and capable and need not allow others to run us down.  Our gifts to the world are unique and we are precious and valuable.  Remembering our personal self-worth will help us face any difficulty or challenge in our lives.  We can stand strong, reclaim any confidence we’ve lost, and continue forward with strength and determination.

Diminishing others may make some feel more powerful and influential, but this kind of behavior is destructive and there is nothing of value to be gained by demeaning others.  Each individual brings something the world needs and when we honor them instead of ridicule them we are embellished and gratified.  When we reach out with charity and benevolence, we enhance goodness in those around us and raise them up.  We choose the type of influence we bring to the world and when we choose wisely, everyone benefits.

No influence is more powerful than kindness and charity.  Everything we do brings something into our lives.  If we lie, we lose the trust of those around us.  If we cheat, we lose our integrity.  If we criticize and demean, we lose our connections to others.    We can be noble and virtuous and choose paths that will bring us peace and each choice we makes tells the world who we are.

Today if you feel bad because of something someone has said or done and have lost your confidence, remember who you are and do what is needed to get it back.  You have so much to offer.  You are incredible and amazing, and the whole world is blessed because you are here.  Be strong and sure.  You have everything you need to succeed and nothing will hold you down.

Doing Laundry

28 Mar

Learning to navigate through conflict isn’t always easy.  When we disagree with someone and things escalate it can be hard to stay on the subject at hand.  If we are passionate about our position and afraid we are losing we may decide to bring other issues into the conversation.  We all have a laundry list of things that bother us, and if we feel our position is slipping we may pull it out and begin sharing all the things that bother us.  They say the best defense is a good offense and that works in some situations but in our interpersonal relationships going for the throat and hitting with all our might may cause damage we don’t want.  It’s normal to get mad sometimes and there may be moments when the person we are closest to drives us nuts.  We can always do the laundry and tell them all the things we don’t like, or we can wait, allow time to calm down, and then talk about what we want.  Words are powerful and once uttered are permanent.  There is no way to go back and erase something we’ve said.  When we lash out in anger and say things that hurt others we may win the battle today but the lingering pain of what we’ve said may last indefinitely.  Instead of doing laundry when we feel overcome, we can look at the situation more objectively.  Many things we disagree about are insignificant in the scope of life.  We can step back, take a breath and see the situation more clearly.  Our relationships are important and take precedence over any difference of opinion.  We can choose to value them and even in disagreement, take care of them.  Every happiness is possible.  Choosing well will help us achieve it.

We would never use a cannon to kill a fly.  A fly swatter is sufficient for the situation and it’s absurd to consider anything more but sometimes in conflict we may choose a cannon when all we need is a fly swatter.  When we feel we are losing we may want to stop everyone in their tracks and take the biggest weapon we can find.  But it’s not helpful to choose something that will destroy when all we really need is a little more influence.  We have all the wisdom we need to make excellent decisions, even in conflict.  We can be appropriate and careful, and still prevail while protecting our relationships.

When we get hit our first reaction may be to hit back.  We don’t have to take abuse without responding but how we respond often determines what happens next.  We can diffuse any situation and find a solution more easily by addressing the affront with patience and clarity.  Communicating calmly will end conflict more effectively than fighting back.  We can choose the best roads going forward.  We can be in control and make decisions that will bring us peace and success.

Today if you’ve had it and want to pull out the laundry list of things you don’t like, think about where that will take you.  Your relationships are precious and more important than any disagreement.  Step back and decide the best way forward.  You are strong and powerful, and nothing is too difficult for you.  Think clearly and choose well.  You’ll find greater happiness and peace ahead.

Chipping Away

20 Mar

It would be wonderful if everyone around us was supportive and kind. We could face each day knowing no matter what happened we could count on others for help. While many of us are helpful and willing to shoulder burdens with those around us, not everyone embraces that model. There are all kinds of expressions and some people are frankly rude and mean. Others are selfish and don’t care about anyone but themselves. If we’re in a situation with people like that we may feel stranded and alone. If we do something they don’t like they may ridicule and demean us. They may criticize and treat us with distain, and each exchange with them may chip away a little of our confidence. Continual exposure may leave us feeling insignificant and worthless. Everyone makes their own decisions and some people choose poorly. We can only control what we do and if we have to deal with those who hurt us, we may struggle to stand tall. It’s not easy to endure people who demean and it’s hard to remain confident near them, but we have all the strength and courage we need to stand strong. Those who want to chip away at others may do so, but we need not internalize their criticisms and judgements. We don’t have to accept anything that diminishes us and can simply let it slide away. It doesn’t matter why someone is being destructive, and it doesn’t matter what their objectives are for employing bad behavior. What matters is how we feel about ourselves. We know who we are and nothing anyone says can change that. We can stand tall, brush off any criticism, and continue forward with confidence. Our lives belong to us and we can choose to make the best choices as we push ahead.

If we’re in a situation with someone who makes a point of putting us down or hurting us, we can walk away. No matter what the relationship is, we don’t have to stay and endure personal attacks. We don’t have to fight back, and we don’t have to engage and defend ourselves. We can simply walk away. We can take control of the situation and take care of ourselves. We are courageous when we manage our actions effectively and protect our self-esteem.

If the decisions of others impact us negatively, we may do what is necessary to correct the situation. We may disengage our relationship with them, distance ourselves from their influence, and stand up and hold firm in response. We have so much to offer. We are good and strong, powerful and wise. We need never fall down under the criticism of anyone else. Our presence is a gift to the world and we can honor that and remember how valuable and precious we are.

Today if someone has demeaned you and made you feel small and unworthy, remember who you are. You are amazing and bring light and goodness to the world. We’re all blessed because you’re here. Stand up and stand tall. You are extraordinary and precious. Every success is possible and nothing will hold you back. Remember who you are and move forward with confidence.