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Hanging On

13 Mar

Everything we experience in life goes forward with us. Good times and happy moments, or disappointments and catastrophes, come with us as we move ahead. Whatever we experience becomes part of who we are. How much influence our past has over our lives is up to us. Happy times may give us optimism for what lies ahead, and problems may hold us back from venturing forward. The past lies behind us and no matter how events affected us when they occurred, it’s up to us how much power they have going forward. If we’ve been through a heartbreaking and difficult experience and still feel the sting, we may be unable to let go of the pain enough to find joy. We can hold on tight to disappointment and sorrow and drag it through our lives indefinitely. We may keep the reminders of what went wrong bright in our minds until we have the courage to let them go. Letting go of pain will not diminish what has happened. We can understand how our lives have been impacted, accept the changes that have occurred, and still find our way to happiness. We don’t have to hang onto sorrow any longer than we want to. We can let it go, set it down, and walk away knowing what we’ve learned will help us as we move ahead. Life is filled with all kinds of experiences. Some of them may devastate us and at times we may believe we’ll never be happy again. We can’t stop sorrow from coming but happiness is our responsibility and when we’re ready, we will have it again. Our lives are precious and valuable. No matter what we may face, we can find our way to peace and joy. Every day brings new promise and there isn’t anything we can’t do.

Personal heartbreak is a painful and agonizing experience. If we’ve been betrayed, or lied to, or everything we believed turned out to be false, we may be stunned and stopped in our tracks. It’s hard to find our footing when everything we thought was solid turns out to be shifting sand. When we’re slipping around trying to find our way, we can have confidence and trust in our ability to overcome. There isn’t anything powerful enough to hold us in place indefinitely. We know who we are, we know what we want, and we will find our way through.

Intense disappointment and sorrow may make us doubt our personal worth and ability to succeed. We may believe nothing will ever be right again, and we’ll be stuck in misery forever. Nothing in life is permanent and no matter what we’re going through, no matter how fierce it seems right now, it will change. There is no wind strong enough to blow us down. There is no suffering powerful enough to last forever. We have everything we need to step forward and find release. We are in control of our lives and will prevail.

Today if you’ve had a serious disappointment and feel frozen and unable to move, remember how strong and powerful you are. There isn’t anything capable of holding you down. You are wise and strong and have all the confidence you need to overcome anything. Take a step forward toward the light. Great happiness is waiting for you. Everything you need is just ahead. Move toward it and you will succeed.

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Blocked Number

30 Mar

Getting a call from a blocked number is like playing one-sided tag. Someone is there to tag us but we can’t return the favor. They are invisible and we can’t call them back. If we block our number before we call someone we can find them but they can’t find us. It’s a control mechanism we may employ to protect our privacy and keep our information secret. While there may be appropriate times to block ourselves before we reach out, often it’s done to keep us apart and separate. It’s a one-sided game. The caller is protected and locked away. We may meet people who are very good at telling us what they want, and defining what works for them but unable to hear us when we express our feelings in return. They know how to ask for their needs but seem unable to hear the needs of others. If we only see ourselves and what we want and only focus on our own road ahead ignoring those around us, it’s like sending out a blocked call. We know where we’re going and we aren’t interested in seeing anything else. It’s the truest form of selfishness. It’s good to look out for ourselves and determine our own way forward and we can make any decisions we like. But if we only see our own narrow road ahead we will miss the opportunities and lessons we may learn by interacting and embracing those around us. We don’t have to block our number to get what we want. We are smart enough and wise enough to be open and still reach our destination.

When one person carries all the cards in any relationship there will be problems. Every successful relationship requires balance. They give a little, and we give a little. If one is always up and the other down, the relationship is destined to fail. There is risk in anything worth pursuing and nothing is stable without balance. If we want a successful relationship in any arena we must let our walls down and be open. We cannot completely protect ourselves with armor and expect to get close to anyone. Shields and blocks are good for keeping an enemy out but if we employ them when we’re trying to build connections we will fail.

It can be unsettling to let others get close to us and know us deeply. When all our doors are open and the light is pouring in we may feel vulnerable and tremulous. Our connections will only be as close as we let them. If we keep ourselves a step back we may have a workable relationship but it will be superficial. Only when we’re brave enough to show our true selves completely will we achieve a deep and satisfying association. The more we give the more we’ll get in return. Our lives are richer when we let others in and we’ll find true happiness when we unblock our connections.

Today if you’ve been keeping yourself a step back and not completely committing to a relationship, think about your options. You can let your walls down and have rich and rewarding connections to those around you. Open up and let others in. Your life will be richer and embellished in positive ways you can’t imagine. Connect with those around you. You have so much to offer and we all want to know you.

The Water is Wide

26 Sep

There are times in our lives when we simply cannot get to our goals alone. Although we accomplish much, there will be moments when the water is too wide to cross by ourselves and we need the help of others to get across. If we are very independent, it may be hard to accept assistance. If we are shy, we may be afraid to ask. If we are arrogant, we may try to do it ourselves even when we know it’s impossible. Getting help when we need it is beneficial. It’s wise to understand our limitations and asking for help doesn’t mean we’re weak or incapable. Nobody can do everything. When we need others to get across and ask for help it shows we are strong enough to accept the situation and work around it. If we want to do it alone we may feel disappointed that we need support and it might be hard to admit we can’t get there on our own. But the goal we’re seeking is the focus. If we can’t get to it alone, working with others will often help us achieve it. We are capable of understanding the big picture and finding a way to succeed even if we can’t do it by ourselves.

Personal success is defined in many ways. Some people prefer to accomplish many things alone and like to fly solo in their endeavors. If they hit a snag they can’t navigate by themselves, instead of including others they may change their plans to get around it. They eventually find their way but it may take longer than if they had asked for the assistance of others. We all have different talents and perspectives. If we allow others to share theirs with us, we often find the answers more quickly. We can embrace the experiences of others and invite them into our journey to navigate the path forward more easily. Listening to many other interpretations of the situation may bring us the answers we’re seeking. We can open up and bring others in and get the help we need.

Competition is a normal part of the human experience. Some of us are more competitive than others and if we need to feel like the winner in every endeavor, we may try to get to our goals before anyone else. There is reward in being first but there is much to be learned by collaborating. If we’re in a situation that stops us and are struggling to find our way through, allowing others to collaborate and share in the victory may help us find our way to success more easily. But if our desire to do it alone supersedes our willingness to allow others in, success may elude us. There is much to be gained by allowing others into our journey. We are capable of doing many things well, and often we won’t need assistance. But when we do, the door is always there for us. Opening it and allowing others in will help us get to the goal we’re seeking. And getting to the goal is the primary objective.

Today if you’ve been struggling with something that has you stumped and aren’t sure how to proceed, ask those around you for their advice and counsel. You may be surprised by what you learn and you’ll find your way to the other side. The water may be wide but by working together you will find your way across. There isn’t anything you can’t do. Get the help you need and you’ll succeed every time.

Filters

24 May

Life brings us a lot of different experiences. Some are happy, some sad, things go well and then not so well, disappointments and victories come, and with each experience we learn something more about ourselves, our lives, and those around us. As we change we carry information forward from what we’ve learned. Those lessons help us understand more about who we are and what we want, but they may also color the way we perceive things. For instance, if we have a very bad experience with a dog, we may fear or hate all dogs going forward. Or if something painful happens to us in a specific situation, we may avoid all similar situations in the future. It’s good to learn from our experiences but if they create filters that restrict our lives we may miss out on opportunities available to us. If we learn as we go without fear or avoidance, we will be more successful in living fully and embracing our lives completely. We can’t predict the future but the odds of repeating an exact experience going forward is unlikely. Allowing one bad or uncomfortable situation to color our lives indefinitely may keep us locked down and unable to see everything available to us. We can navigate difficult experiences, learn from them, and then move on. This life is all about change. We don’t have to hold onto anything that holds us back.

Sometimes we have pre-conceived ideas about things based on what we’ve seen in the past or what we’ve been taught. The problem with assuming is that we’re often wrong in the assumption. If we decide something is round because it was round before, and we’ve heard it’s round but never seen it, we may proceed accepting that as truth even if what we’re looking at is a square. Our minds can play tricks on us if we let them and we can be convinced of something that isn’t real because of where we’ve been or what we’ve seen in the past. If we can set our personal experiences aside and look at our situations objectively and openly, we may find that things are completely different than what we first imagined they would be. Learning to see things as they really are will open our lives up to new possibilities for growth and understanding, but we must be willing to see clearly and accept what is real.

It’s wise to protect ourselves from situations we believe will hurt us or make our lives difficult. And there is nothing wrong with pro-actively trying to be in the best place we can. But if we lock the doors around us because we are afraid from a previous experience, or we aren’t sure we can manage whatever is locked behind them, we may be protected from possible pain but we may also prevent possible happiness. If we filter our possibilities because we are unsure or afraid, we also filter any benefits that may come to us. It takes courage to step out of our comfort zones and take a chance, but we have sufficient courage to do anything we want. We are able to make excellent decisions and brave enough to move forward. Life teaches us a lot and we can do everything we need to be successful and happy. There isn’t anything we can’t manage and we can open all the doors in front of us.

Today if you’ve been holding back because of experiences in the past and you aren’t sure about going forward, remember you can do anything. Open all the doors. There is nothing you can’t handle. Be confident. You have everything you need to be successful and happy.

Baggage

2 Jan

As we navigate through our lives our experiences leave impressions on us. Sometimes they are scars from events that have hurt us, sometimes they are precious memories from times when things were wonderful, and sometimes they are just an accumulation of things we learn. Everything we experience changes us in some way, but when we have bad experiences, they may leave lasting marks that we carry with us. If the scars are painful and heavy, they can impact our lives going forward. Like baggage we can’t abandon, we pull it along with us. It might be small like an overnight bag or we may have a dozen over-sized steamer trunks we drag along. Whatever it is, it takes effort to carry it and can make it hard for us to experience joy or see the possibilities of happiness in front of us. It takes work to carry heavy baggage, it’s strenuous, and it takes concentration. We have to watch where we’re going more carefully, and navigate complicated turns with precision. It’s hard to be spontaneous, or trust that we’ll get through. When we’re carrying a lot behind us our lives are harder and we feel the weight every day.

Nobody has a perfect life. Nobody gets through without some disappointment or pain, sadness or grief. We all suffer and have bad experiences along with the good ones. It’s how we handle them that affects our lives going forward. If we’re suffering and have been hurt, we can hold onto the pain for the rest of our lives. We can carry distrust, bitterness, wariness, anger, and suspicion with us. We can keep ourselves separate from those around us and hold on to our baggage, checking it, making sure it’s still there, and keeping it close. Deep betrayal, loss of faith, intense disappointment, and pain are difficult to go through. They change us and if we let them, can paralyze our lives. We can give our control over to them, lock our security safely away, and allow them to make every personal decision we have. But we don’t have to do that.

We have the power to face whatever comes to us. Bad experiences can be conquered. Even the one thing we think we could never overcome is possible to move past. Our ability to move forward in our lives is only hampered by our own decisions. We can carry our baggage with us for as long as we want to. But when we’re ready to be happy again, we can set it down and walk away. We don’t need it to make any decisions going forward, and we can be happy if we let it go. Leaving it behind does not diminish the pain we suffered when we had it. But if we really want to be happy again, we have to let it go and walk away. We have the power to control our lives. We can’t change what’s already happened, but we can change how much we let the past determine our future. We deserve to be happy. We deserve to be free of pain. We deserve everything we are hoping for. We can do anything we want and we don’t need any previous baggage holding us back. We can leave it behind and move on.

Today if you’ve been letting something from your past determine how you’re living your life, if you’re holding onto pain or disappointment, you can let it go. You can set it down and walk away, leaving it behind as you move forward. You don’t have to carry anything with you. You have all you need to be happy and successful. Let go. You deserve only the best. You have everything you need to be happy. Embrace that.

Have Some of Mine

3 Oct

Everyone has different gifts, talents, and skills. We all learn different things as we grow, and some of us are born with special talents. Sometimes we get the opportunity to share those benefits with others. Perhaps we share them by participating in a group project, or maybe by teaching someone something they’re interested in. There are limitless opportunities for sharing if we keep ourselves open. But some people don’t want to share what they have. They want to have proprietary ownership over what they know. In the job force some consider this job security. They believe if nobody else knows what they know or can do what they can they will always have a job. That may be true, but if we don’t share what we have, we don’t have the opportunity to feel connected to those around us. Sharing our personal lives allows us to enhance and build our relationships, and when we give we never lose anything. Like the flame on a candle, we can share our light with an infinite number of people, and still have all we need. We’re just making our experiences wider in scope and building a more expansive field to relate to.

If we keep all our gifts to ourselves, and are stingy with them, we end up isolating ourselves from others. If there are no points of commonality between us and those around us, we end up standing alone. We can hold all our cards close to our chests but that will just prevent others from getting close. Some people prefer their lives that way. They don’t want close relationships and they don’t want to interact with others any more than they must. We all have a different level of comfort in dealing with others, but if we want to feel like we belong, if we want friendships and strong relationships, we have to let others get close to us. We can’t get close by standing back. Sharing with others who we are, and what we know helps open doors. And open doors invite others in, and make us approachable.

If someone near us has a skill or gift we’d like to learn, we may ask them to share it with us. Most people are happy to do that, and as we learn about their particular advantage, we also learn more about them. As they teach us, they learn more about us. We create stronger personal bonds, and become closer in our relationship with them. If they were just acquaintances, the experience may make them friends. If they were friends already, it may create a deeper friendship. We interact with people every day. Bringing them into our lives, and getting closer to their lives will be a blessing to us. When we have a large network of others around us who understand us, and who we can trust, our lives are more comfortable, and we are happier.

Today think about sharing your skills and gifts with those around you. Bring them into your life by opening up and showing them who you really are. You’ll get closer to them, and get to know them more completely. They’ll appreciate your willingness to share and learn to trust you. Build a strong network around you by opening yourself up and letting others in. Your life will be richer, and you’ll feel happier with the friendships you’ll build.

The Illusion of Control

6 Jul

We have very little control in our lives. We can’t often control what happens to us, we can’t control what other people do, we can’t control what we get exposed to, and basically all we can really control is our behavior. That’s it. But sometimes we may get confused, and think we have more control than we actually have. We may think we can control situations, or other people. Many of us have had experiences with people who’ve tried to control us. Maybe we’ve been the one who’s tried to control other people, or outcomes. It rarely works, but it’s a pattern for some of us.

As we go through this life we gain experience. That experience teaches us, and often helps us understand things better. Because of our experience, we may think we really know what is best for someone else. We may think we have the answers to a problem they are experiencing. And maybe we do. But whether we have the answers or not, we cannot make anyone do anything. We may offer suggestions, but their decisions are theirs to make. If we start telling people what to do, how to do it, and when to do it, and we are not in authority over them, we fail. We are not in charge of the human race. The human race gets to do whatever it wants to. And even if that turns out to be something we would never do, even if it hurts others, even if it’s the dumbest thing we’ve ever seen – it’s not ours to control.

It’s hard to watch those around us make decisions that hurt them. It’s hard to see them confused, and lost, especially if we think we know how to make things better. What we can do is offer our support, and make suggestions if they are open to them, but then, we must let them make their own choices. We can’t make anyone do things our way, and if we offer advice and they don’t take it, that is their option. A lot of people think they can tell us how to live our lives, even people who don’t really know about our lives. But the control over our lives belongs to us alone. We get to make all the decisions. And the same is true for those around us. They get to make their own decisions. Let them. We can be there if they need us, but they are entitled to make their own choices.

Today if you’re struggling with control issues – either yours or someone in your life – remember that your life is the only one you get to control, but you get to control all of it. If someone is telling you how things should be, listen and take whatever advice from them that helps you, and let the rest go. If you feel the need to tell someone else what they should do, remember their life is theirs to manage. It doesn’t belong to you. Control is an illusion most of the time. Control yourself, your decisions, your behavior, and your attitude. Let the rest go. It’s a lot easier just to carry your own load. Carry that. Let everyone else carry theirs.