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Tag Archives: Lie

Something Different

6 Sep

We make all kinds of personal connections as we go through our lives. Some of them are strong and we hold onto them for many years. We may become attached to someone we feel is very much like us who does things that make us happy and enhance our lives. As the connection grows, we believe in them and trust they are who they appear to be. Often that’s the case and we move forward knowing we can count on them and find comfort having them in our lives. But some people are dishonest and do things that make others believe they are someone they aren’t in order to create a close connection that gives them something they desire. When someone says all the right things that push all our happy buttons, it can be hard to imagine they are lying. If we trust them and give our hearts to them and then find out they aren’t who we thought they were but someone completely different, we may feel devastated. It’s hard to understand such manipulation and if it happens to us we may be crushed and lose confidence in ourselves. We can’t control the decisions of others and it’s good to trust and believe in them. If that turns against us, the one who deceived is responsible. Life can be complicated and we never know what will come next. No matter where we’ve been or what’s already happened, we can trust ourselves to make excellent decisions going forward. If we fell, we can get back up. We are strong and powerful and nothing can hold us down.

Strong, long lasting relationships take continual work and compromise. If both involved are willing to do what is needed to find resolution as problems arise, there’s a good chance for a positive outcome. But if we’re in a relationship where we’re doing all the work and the other person is ignoring their part while pretending to care, we may give too much of ourselves away and end up feeling empty and alone. We deserve the very best of every situation and never need to take on someone else’s responsibility. We can decide what’s best for us at every turn. We know what we want and with wisdom and courage we can do what we must to achieve it.

If we’ve been fooled by someone pretending to love us who isn’t the person they professed to be, we may struggle to forgive ourselves for falling for them. We may feel we should have known better but we can’t see things that are hidden. If we’d had all the facts from the beginning we would never have believed the lie. We are smart and intelligent and if someone fools us, we can take what we’ve learned forward and be confident in our ability to make the best decisions.

Today if you’ve fallen for a lie or are in a relationship that isn’t working, remember you are wise and valuable, and deserve every happiness. Let go of any guilt for mistakes in judgment and move forward with confidence. You are certainly capable of making excellent choices. Leave the past behind and step toward the future. There is great success and happiness ahead for you. Keep moving forward and you’ll reach it.

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Integrity

6 Apr

We can be any kind of people we choose to be. Nobody is born with a fully developed adult personality, and although there are unique traits we carry forward, the type of person we ultimately become is up to us. We can be self-centered, only valuing our own preferences and choices, or we can be welcoming and open to those around us. We can be rude and aggressive or we can be kind and helpful. We are responsible for our behaviors no matter what they are and if we want to be our best we must make choices that take us there. If we are honest and caring in all our dealings we will develop integrity. Integrity is a behavior that raises us and heightens our awareness of what is right. We can choose to value strong moral principles, be undivided in our devotion to them and unmovable in questions of honesty and honor. One of the most important things we must do is keep our promises. Every time we give our word or promise we seal the agreement with our honor. When we follow through on that agreement we gain trust and if we drop the ball we damage our credibility and honesty. If we want to be our very best there can never be a question of keeping our word. We must always follow through on our commitments. When we do, our level of integrity will increase and we will gain the respect of those around us. Being true to ourselves will help us move forward and grow. We can choose high standards and refuse to back down. We can set the bar for the world and our influence will bring great positive impact to those around us.

When we’re unsure of ourselves or don’t have confidence in what we’re doing we may rely on those around us. We may follow their lead and mimic their behaviors until we feel stronger. It’s good to emulate positive and ethical behaviors but sometimes what we see isn’t always the whole story. What looks right initially may turn out to be something entirely different. We can’t know the thoughts of those around us or understand their motivations from the outside. If we simply impersonate what we’re seeing we may end up going someplace we don’t want to be. We always have enough confidence to make our own choices and we can rely on our intuition to make them well.

It may be difficult to choose integrity and truth when someone has deceived us. If we discover we’ve been lied to and are hurt we may think first of revenge. It’s easy to think about smashing someone who has purposely manipulated us but returning the insult will never take us where we want to go. Others may choose what they will but we are only responsible for the choices we make. We can always determine to take the high road and honor our personal values no matter what others decide. When we do, our integrity will rise and we will take a step closer to the person we most want to be. There is no need to let someone else’s problems become ours. We can live our lives any way we choose and when we choose well, we will find happiness.

Today if you see some of your choices haven’t been the best you could make, decide to be true going forward. There is greatness in you. The world needs all the good you have to offer. Step up to the person you most want to be and find success. You are a shining star for the world and your light will open all the doors ahead.

Real Life

9 Mar

We live in a real world and it’s not difficult to see and navigate the material things around us.  But we also live in a world with other people we interact with on a daily basis.  They make decisions about what they will do and say to us.  Sometimes they talk to us in truth and other times may say something entirely different.  If we are honest it may be hard to believe that those near us could tell us things that aren’t true.  We all want truth in our lives, but sometimes we may believe in fiction.  It could be a lie that someone we love is telling us because they don’t want to hurt us with the truth, or want us to believe it in order to get something from us.  Maybe we pretend that something is real that isn’t, because facing it as it is, is hard and painful.  Deception and lies, pretending and looking the other way complicate us and make even simple decisions difficult.  We deserve to be happy and live as peacefully as possible.  That can only happen if we’re willing to see and accept things as they really are.  Truth is truth and will always surface.  There is no way to hide from it forever and the best we can do is face it.

If we want we can live our entire lives in the land of fiction, making up stories about what we’re doing, and what’s happening.  We can believe in people that lie to us even when we have the truth staring us in the face.  We might tell ourselves it’s better not to rock the boat and face the truth, but that just prolongs the inevitable.  The problem with fiction is it can’t stand up over time.  There is no way to live a lie forever.  Running from the truth, hiding from it, dodging it, ignoring it, or in any way trying to avoid it, is exhausting.  No matter how difficult it is to face, it’s easier in the end than living a life on the run.  Pretending is just another word for acting, and if we’re acting out our lives instead of really living them, we can’t be who we really are.  It’s best to accept things truthfully, face them head on, and shake away the clouds of deception.  Only then can we live our lives honestly and with clarity.

Sometimes we believe a lie because we really want the story to be true.  If we love someone and they continually tell us things we want to hear, we may go along even if we know it isn’t real.  Personal desires can be very strong and we may believe the story will eventually come true.  But we can’t read the future, and all we can really count on is what is real today.  They say the best predictor of the future is the past, and that’s often true.  If someone has lied to us in the past there’s a good chance they will continue to follow the same path.  Of course, people can change and turn things around, but putting our lives on hold and pretending will not make that happen.  We can only control our own decisions, and choose to move forward with our own lives.  We deserve to make all our dreams come true.  We can do that if we live in the real world and not the land of fiction.

Today if you’ve been hoping for something to be true that hasn’t happened, remember you are worth the best of everything.  You deserve everything you are seeking.  Choose to move forward.  You are in control of your happiness.  Facing truth will help you find it.  You can make all your dreams come true by living in the real world and you have the courage and wisdom to do that.

Saying No

20 Jan

There are times when we are asked to do things we can’t accomplish or don’t feel comfortable with. Perhaps we don’t have the time to do what is being asked, or the request is something we don’t want to be involved in. And sometimes, what we’re being asked to do is something we simply can’t do because we don’t have the skills needed to accomplish it. When someone we love asks us for something and we feel we can’t comply, it may be difficult to say no. We want to help and we want to be supportive. But if we can’t do it, it’s worse to say we will and then disappoint others because we failed than it is to simply say no at the beginning. Saying no is more difficult for some of us than it is for others. We might feel that being cooperative is imperative in our relationships and saying no will damage them. But if the relationship is healthy and there is mutual respect, declining a request will not hurt. We can feel empowered to make the best choices for ourselves, even if they aren’t the choices others would have us make. We know what’s best for us and we are entitled to have it.

When we decline a request, in their disappointment others may employ guilt to try and make us change our minds. Guilt is very powerful and if we aren’t careful, it can undermine our decisions. But guilt is a self inflicted emotion. Nobody can make us feel it. People can say things to try and inflict it upon us, and do things to encourage us to change our minds. But if we’ve made a decision that’s best for us, we need not allow guilt to enter in. There is no reason to feel guilty for making a good choice. Good choices are the best we can do, and feeling guilty for making them isn’t necessary. If we remember that and focus on going forward truthfully and with a genuine spirit, we’ll make the best decisions possible.

Sometimes we may be asked to do things that make us very uncomfortable. For instance, being asked to lie for someone else, or manipulate situations to help another get the upper hand, or cheat to help a friend – all may make us uneasy. If we go along and compromise our values to please someone else, we may hurt ourselves in the long run. Happiness comes from being true to who we are no matter what situation we’re in. However, if the person asking intently pleads with us, it may be difficult to make the best choice. At times like those, it’s helpful to step back and see the situation objectively. We already know what the best answer is, and stepping back just a little will help us find the wisdom and courage to make it. We don’t have to do anything we don’t want to do. It doesn’t matter who is asking us or what the parameters of the situation are. If we aren’t comfortable we can say no and move on. We can always make the best choices going forward.

Today if you’re being pressured to do something you don’t feel good about, you can say no. You are entitled to make your own decisions. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks you should do, you can do what is best for you. You know what you need to do and you know the right road going forward. Choose that and you’ll always be headed in the right direction.