Tag Archives: Loyalty

Holding the Bag

20 May

We share our lives with lots of other people. Everyone has their own responsibilities and things they must address, and we all have things we continually need to get done. We’re all different and not always on the same playing field. Some of us have more money than others, more opportunities, more influence, more contacts and endless other benefits. We each have specific and unique lives, can control some things, and deal with the rest. When we interact with those around us, we may make commitments to do things, or be somewhere to help or assist in some project or task. If we’re honest when we make the deal and keep our word, generally everything works out fine. But some people don’t value honesty or loyalty, and may say they’ll do something they have no intention of following through on. If we’re the ones they gave their word to and they fail to show, we may be stuck holding the bag. It may be very uncomfortable to have issues we didn’t commit to pushed over onto us because someone else didn’t follow through. If that happens, what we do next is up to us. We can shake our heads, drop everything, and simply walk away, but if that affects others negatively, even though we weren’t initially at fault, it may come back to bite us. We can try to choose what’s best for all involved, but that may require our time and energy. By looking at everything clearly and objectively, we can decide how we want to proceed. We never have to cover for anyone else’s bad decisions, and can make the best choice for each situation. Every answer we need will be there and we can trust ourselves to choose wisely. The decisions of others may complicate our lives from time to time, but we know who we are and can move forward with confidence.

Families are complex. We all have our own ideas about how things should go and what should be done, and they may vary greatly even in the same family. If one person struggles with poverty, some may step up to help, and others may not. Each has their own reasons, and despite being in the same family, they may philosophically be very far apart. We can do what we like and make our own decisions, but still be respectful of those whose choices are very different. Few things have only one right answer and there are endless interpretations for everything. By staying true to who we are and honest with those around us, we will feel good about our choices, even if they are different.

Wherever we are, if there are others around us, we may feel pressure to conform to the group. If we make a suggestion they don’t agree with, but it will benefit our situation, we can proceed on our own. We never need permission or agreement to do anything we desire. We know what we want to do and possess everything necessary to make it ours. If we need information, we can find it. If we need help, we can ask for it. There isn’t anything too difficult or complicated for us to manage, and with persistence, focus and determination, we can accomplish whatever we desire.

Today if you’ve been left holding the bag because someone didn’t follow through, decide how you want to proceed. If the goal is important, look at all the possibilities and choose the best road ahead. You are intelligent and capable, and there isn’t anything you can’t do. Trust yourself and stand strong. Every single destination is possible and nothing can keep you from success. It’s all there for you. Step forward and claim it.

Who’s your friend?

1 Jul

We meet a lot of people in our lives, we make friends, we have acquaintances, and we build relationships. It’s important to share our lives with those around us, and we enjoy the camaraderie that comes from sharing time with our companions. It’s great to have friends. But sometimes we think we have a friend in someone, and then something happens, and we realize the relationship is different than we thought. Sometimes we think we are building a friendship with someone we believe we can trust, and then sadly discover they were only interacting with us for another reason. Perhaps because we were able to introduce them to others who will move them ahead at work. Or maybe they only needed to interact with us to gain some information they were seeking. These things happen, and when they happen to us, we can feel hurt, and used. It’s never appropriate to use others for personal gain, and it’s especially hurtful when it’s done pretending to be our friends, but it does happen, and it’s very disappointing. It’s important to try to figure who our friends really are so we know where we stand.

We want to feel sure about our relationships. Who are the people who spend time with us just because they care about us? Who can we can count on if we need help? Who will care if we are hurt? I had a friend once who told me he was traveling across country one time when his car broke down. He had it towed to the nearest town but couldn’t afford the repairs, and was stranded. Desperate, he called his best friend back home, and told him the story. Without a moment’s hesitation, his friend told him, “Stay right there. I’m on my way.” And with that he jumped in his car, and drove hours to help him. I knew a woman once who was housesitting for a friend when she had a grease fire in her kitchen. The cabinets above the stove were destroyed from smoke damage. She loved her friend and didn’t want her coming home to the mess, or having to make a claim on her homeowner’s insurance. So she spent the next several days refinishing the cabinets herself, and restoring them. Someone else I know sat with her best friend through cancer treatments that went on for months, and then spent every evening with her, sitting by her bed until she recovered, just offering her time and support. We’ve all had people like this in our lives, and they have been very valuable to us. We’ve also had people in our lives who pretend to be our friends, but really don’t care. It doesn’t take long to figure out who our friends are when things go wrong, and it’s important to know. It’s also important that we are true friends to those we care about. Everyone needs people they can count on. Someone who has our back, someone who supports us no matter what, and someone who loves us, warts and all. That kind of loyalty is a priceless gift. We should cherish it, and we should return it whenever possible.

Today there will be all kinds of people around you. Think about them. Who are your real friends? Once you determine who they are, cherish them, help them, and show them you care. They will return the same back to you, and your life will be so much better for it. We’re all in this together. Don’t forget that. We need each other. Being a true friend is the very best we can offer. Extend your hand, be the best friend you can be. There is nothing more valuable.