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Fitting In or Standing Out

4 May

Life is full of differences, and sometimes it seems just when we’ve figured everything out where we are, something happens and suddenly everything changes. Variety may be the spice of life, but when we’re different from everyone else, we may wish for commonality. There’s a lot to be said for sameness when we feel out of our element, and like the odd man out. We’re all individuals, and nobody is exactly like anyone else, but cultural and other influences may cause people to adopt similar behaviors and traditions. If we’re new to the scene, and aren’t like everyone else, we may feel uncomfortable. It’s easier to fit in when everyone is on the same page and doing the same things. We may feel pressure to conform to a behavior or pattern we don’t understand or don’t want. Fitting in usually makes social situations easier, and if we look like everyone else, use the same language and act the same way, we will be able to blend in. Nobody stands out when they are just like everyone else. There may be times when we’ll want to blend in and basically be invisible because we are unsure or lack the confidence necessary to do things our own way. We can certainly fade into the background all we like, but we are the only ones on the entire earth who can offer the gifts we have to give. The blessings we have to share are ours alone and will bring great light and benefit to those around us. But nobody will ever know what we have if we stay quiet and hide in the shadows. We don’t have to be loud and boisterous to make ourselves known, but we can step forward and share our lives and ideas with those around us. We have so much to offer and we can be confident enough to speak up. We can be ourselves and still find our place, no matter where we are. The whole world is blessed because we are here.

We make lots of connections as we go through our lives and build many kinds of relationships. Those around us may wish to include us in their activities, and we can certainly participate in anything we like. But we never have to do anything we don’t want to do. Just because everyone else in the group wants to be involved, if it doesn’t feel right for us, we may politely decline and step away. Our journey is ours to design and we can manage it any way we like.

There may be times when because someone has authority over us, we may be compelled to do certain things we don’t want. Our bosses, our family members, someone we love and honor very much, may ask us for something we would prefer not to do. In those moments, it will be up to us to weigh agreement against any ramifications a denial may bring. Every situation is different, and we are smart enough and wise enough to make the best decision at every turn.

Today if you’re having trouble fitting in where you are, remember you are unique and valuable. You don’t have to go along to get along. Be yourself and share your ideas. Your gifts are valuable and worthwhile. Stand tall and be confident. The whole world is better, and we’re all blessed because you are here.

Pointing the Way

15 Aug

Unless we live on top of a mountain, an isolated island or in some cave somewhere, there are going to be other people around us. The world is covered with billions of them and no matter where we go, or what we’re doing, odds are we’re going to run into them. They all have ideas about life and how things should go, and they may have ideas about what we should be doing. Everyone is certainly entitled to their own opinions, but when those opinions infringe on our decisions, we may run into complications. It’s unlikely anyone will know more about our lives than we do. They may offer advice and guidance, telling us that if we go where they’re pointing and do what they propose we’ll find happiness. It’s possible they might be right once in a while, and we can always take any suggestions we like, but we know ourselves better than anyone else ever could, and we know what we want and need. Nobody has access to our inner most thoughts and nobody will ever know everything about us. We are unique and entitled to live authentically in ways that represent exactly who we are. There may be differences from those around us but we don’t have to conform to what others are doing. We can do things our way. We are the only ones with the gifts we have to offer. Expressing our true nature and desires, and living our lives in ways that represent who we most want to be will bring us great satisfaction and happiness. There isn’t now, nor will there ever be, anyone else exactly like us. We are unique and exquisite exactly as we are. We can trust ourselves to live our lives honestly and openly. The whole world is blessed because we are here, and nothing can ever take that away.

Some people are very sure of themselves. If they have strong personalities, we may get caught up in their wake and end up following them in their decisions. There’s nothing wrong with going along with something if it’s what we really want to do. But if we’re on the wrong road, headed to a destination we don’t want, we have all the power and authority we need to step off and change direction.

We can have the lives we most desire but first we must decide what kind of lives we want. Do we want to do lots of new things and have many adventures, have a life filled with learning and advancement, or keep things close and well defined? Once we decide what we want the most, we can begin making it a reality. Every dream is possible and every choice is ours to make. We’re in control and can do anything we choose. It’s all up to us. We really can have the lives we dream about.

Today if someone is trying to point the way for you to go, decide what you want the most. You can do what others suggest, or chart your own course. You have so much to offer and we’re all enriched because you are here. Decide what you want and show us who you are. There is no one who can bring the blessings you offer. You are amazing and valuable. Step forward toward the goals you want the most, and you’ll find great success and happiness.

Doubling Down

22 Aug

Everyone makes their own decisions about what they want to do.  We choose the paths we want to follow and each moment of each day decide how to proceed. We have complete power over how we live our lives and each decision we make defines who we are and what we stand for.  Sometimes we may make choices that aren’t in our best interest but because of circumstance or personal desire we make them anyway.  If they are in direct contradiction with what we say we stand for there will be a disconnect.  We don’t need anyone’s permission to do anything but if we say one thing and do another there will likely be conflict.  There is no way to justify condemning something someone else does and then say it’s different if we decide to do the same thing.  A change in players doesn’t change the act.  We may believe that because we are smarter or older, or somehow wiser, we can get away with doing something we disapprove of in others, but it’s impossible to be honest and authentic by playing both sides of the story.   We can make any excuse we want, double down on our reasons, and try to explain the hypocrisy away but that will never change the facts.  We can say anything we want but who we really are is reflected not in what we say, but in what we do.  If we want to be completely honest in all our dealings we must reconcile any issues where there is contradiction between our words and our actions.  We can’t expect anyone to trust us if we aren’t true to who we say we are.  The choices we make create the lives we have.  We can live in ways that bring us trust from those around us and be confident in choosing wisely in ways that take us where we really want to go.

There is an old story of a man who asked his neighbor if he could borrow his axe.  The neighbor said no, and the man asked him why not.  The neighbor told him he couldn’t lend the axe because he was making soup.  Confused, the man asked what making soup had to do with borrowing an axe and the neighbor replied, “Nothing, but if I don’t want to lend you my axe, one excuse is as good as another.”  When we make choices that are contradictory we can give any excuse we like.  In the end, the only thing others will remember is what we did – not the reason or excuse we gave for doing it.  Honesty always brings confidence, and that confidence will bring us happiness.

If we’ve made a mistake in judgement and done something that damages our credibility, we can turn around and correct the way forward.  Owning our decisions and doing what is needed to repair what we’ve damaged will pave the road ahead and help us mend any broken connections.  We have unlimited opportunities before us and with wisdom and patience we will find the right road.

Today if you’ve made a decision that contradicts who you really are, turn around and start again.  You can change anything necessary to correct your way forward.  Be careful and wise, and be who you really are.  You have so much to offer and we need your influence.   Be confident and show us your best.  Every success is there for you and you will find it.

Cloning

18 May

We’re all different and have been blessed with specific gifts and talents unique to us alone. Nobody is exactly like anyone else and we all have our own role to play in life. Although most people understand this there may be times when someone near us expects us to be like them. They may believe their choices are better than ours, their understanding is deeper or that they know more about what we need than we do. They may be family members who adhere to traditional patterns and want us to do the same, or friends who believe they are smarter or wiser than we are, or they may be someone in authority over us who feels responsibility for our choices. There are limitless ways we may be influenced to change something in our lives or to mimic a certain behavior. If the pressure is pervasive and constant we may surrender out of shear fatigue. We can go along with someone else’s idea about how we should be for a time but eventually who we really are will rise and we will have to choose. True happiness will never come to us if we are trying to be something we aren’t. It’s important to be honest with ourselves and authentic in our behaviors. We each have special gifts to offer the world only we can give. We can honor our uniqueness despite pressures around us and choose to be completely who we really are. When we do, the world is blessed and we find happiness.

A clone is an exact replica of something else. It’s a copy of something that already exists. Clones are not unique or different in any way and respond and act exactly like the original item. While others may not say they expect us to be their clones, there may be times when we are asked to do things exactly their way even when we want to do something else. If there is enough pressure or the consequences of going our own way are difficult we may acquiesce. Becoming a copy of someone else will never bring us happiness, even if the other person is happy. We must be genuinely who we are to find it and who we are is perfect for our lives. Our gifts belong to us alone. Only we can express them and find the joy they will bring.

Some people believe they have insight and understanding about what others need and continually offer their advice and comments. We can hear and accept other views and decisions, and we may certainly give them all the respect they deserve. But in the end our lives belong to us and what we do relies solely on our personal choices. We may listen to the advice and counsel we are offered and then do what we feel is best. Nobody knows us better than we know ourselves and we can choose our own way confident we will find success.

Today if you feel pressure to conform to someone else’s idea of what you should be doing, remember you have everything you need to choose for yourself. You know what you want and you have all the wisdom and power to accomplish anything you desire. Be yourself and be true to the uniqueness you offer. We need your influence and your special gifts. You are a great blessing to the world.

Blocked Number

30 Mar

Getting a call from a blocked number is like playing one-sided tag. Someone is there to tag us but we can’t return the favor. They are invisible and we can’t call them back. If we block our number before we call someone we can find them but they can’t find us. It’s a control mechanism we may employ to protect our privacy and keep our information secret. While there may be appropriate times to block ourselves before we reach out, often it’s done to keep us apart and separate. It’s a one-sided game. The caller is protected and locked away. We may meet people who are very good at telling us what they want, and defining what works for them but unable to hear us when we express our feelings in return. They know how to ask for their needs but seem unable to hear the needs of others. If we only see ourselves and what we want and only focus on our own road ahead ignoring those around us, it’s like sending out a blocked call. We know where we’re going and we aren’t interested in seeing anything else. It’s the truest form of selfishness. It’s good to look out for ourselves and determine our own way forward and we can make any decisions we like. But if we only see our own narrow road ahead we will miss the opportunities and lessons we may learn by interacting and embracing those around us. We don’t have to block our number to get what we want. We are smart enough and wise enough to be open and still reach our destination.

When one person carries all the cards in any relationship there will be problems. Every successful relationship requires balance. They give a little, and we give a little. If one is always up and the other down, the relationship is destined to fail. There is risk in anything worth pursuing and nothing is stable without balance. If we want a successful relationship in any arena we must let our walls down and be open. We cannot completely protect ourselves with armor and expect to get close to anyone. Shields and blocks are good for keeping an enemy out but if we employ them when we’re trying to build connections we will fail.

It can be unsettling to let others get close to us and know us deeply. When all our doors are open and the light is pouring in we may feel vulnerable and tremulous. Our connections will only be as close as we let them. If we keep ourselves a step back we may have a workable relationship but it will be superficial. Only when we’re brave enough to show our true selves completely will we achieve a deep and satisfying association. The more we give the more we’ll get in return. Our lives are richer when we let others in and we’ll find true happiness when we unblock our connections.

Today if you’ve been keeping yourself a step back and not completely committing to a relationship, think about your options. You can let your walls down and have rich and rewarding connections to those around you. Open up and let others in. Your life will be richer and embellished in positive ways you can’t imagine. Connect with those around you. You have so much to offer and we all want to know you.