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Cleaning Up

21 Aug

We make countless decisions as we go through our lives.  It’s not always easy to make the best choices and we can create a mess by making them quickly and without thought.  We all take a wrong turn once in a while but if we’re lazy and pass things off, choosing to let things happen as they will instead of purposely making a considered choice we may end up with a life filled with unnecessary complications and difficult scenarios that may have been avoided.  Instead of moving forward we may spend a lot of time cleaning up messes we’ve created by making bad choices.  The time spent turning things around again is time lost and cannot be used toward achieving our goals.  Deciding to live our lives thoughtfully takes effort but when we do we have a better chance of things going the way we want them to.  We can live our lives any way we choose.  If we like conflict and disharmony, it’s easy to create but both require time and energy to repair and keep our eyes from the road ahead.  Learning to live in ways that bring harmony and cooperation, and choosing to make choices carefully will take us closer to the goals we’re seeking and bring us satisfaction and happiness.

Our emotions lag behind our intellect.  When something happens that triggers a negative emotional response instead of taking time to think we may jump.  Instead of taking of moment to evaluate our next move, we may simply charge right back and make the situation worse.  We may allow our emotional reaction to decide how we’ll act.  Emotions are important and help us understand our world but when we let them decide how we’ll respond to conflict we may not get the best results.  We can step back for a moment and think about what’s best going forward before we act.  It isn’t easy to step back when we feel threatened or hurt but we have all the strength and wisdom we need to accomplish it.  Taking a moment to think first may save us additional duress going forward and help us resolve conflict before it gets out of hand.

If we choose to go through our lives reacting to things instead of taking time to respond in ways that help we may end up in situations that are heated and difficult to navigate.  Reactions are normal and when things happen that upset or confuse us if we don’t take a moment to stop and think we may do things that elevate the situation and make things worse.  We are always in control of our lives.  We can choose ways that make the road ahead easier instead of react in ways that make it harder.  There will always be conflict but how we manage it is up to us.  We can choose what’s best and make decisions that will prevent a mess going forward.

Today if you’re in a situation that is filled with conflict and you feel the tension rising within you, take a moment to step back and think about your options going forward.  You are in complete control of everything you do and you can make excellent choices that will bring harmony and peace into your life.  Choose the way forward that helps you keep your eyes on your goals.  There isn’t anything too difficult or complex for you to figure out.  You have everything you need to succeed.  Take your time and choose success.

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Revision

7 Aug

We all have particular behavior idiosyncrasies that make us unique and special.  We have some traits that bring us happiness and help us manage our daily lives and we are grateful for them.  We may also have some behaviors that don’t work so well and hang us up from time to time.  We all learn behavior patterns as we grow and when we’re accustomed to doing things a certain way we may continue even if they bring us discomfort.  Whether or not we continue to repeat them is up to us.  We can have any kind of life we want.  If we want a life filled with drama and tension, it’s not difficult to create.  But if we want lives filled with peace and harmony we may need to look at our behaviors clearly and objectively and change some patterns in order to achieve it.  We all know what’s best for us and when we’re doing things that will bring problems and complications to our lives.  In every decision we can do our best to create situations that bring order and calm instead of conflict and tension.  We can’t control what others do but we can determine to carefully consider all the options before us and choose the options that bring resolution and comfort.  Every day is a blessing.  Learning to care for ourselves and make the most positive choices will help us enjoy our time and bring us peace and added joy.

Some decisions fill our lives with conflict.  They may include some kind of deception or manipulation that intensifies the problem.  If we like tension or feel energized when there are problems to solve it’s not difficult to create a life filled with trouble.  If we want constant struggle we can create scenarios that make it happen.  We may manufacture situations to prove how strong we are or how affective we can solve difficult situations.  It takes a lot of energy to live in continual conflict. There is enough natural complication in our lives already and we don’t have to prove anything to anyone.  We can revise decisions that may bring added conflict and make choices that resolve it by choosing peace over contention.

Learning to live peacefully opens doors to new opportunities.  Everyone enjoys being around those who have a positive outlook and seek the best options in their decisions.  There is no way to completely avoid conflict but when it comes we can decide to do things that will minimize the problem and defuse the intensity.  We are in complete control of our decisions and can make any choice we desire.  Since we can never choose the outcome of any choice we make it’s in our best interest to weigh our options carefully and make the decisions that have the greatest chance of bringing the results we desire.  There isn’t anything we can’t do and do well.  Learning to live peacefully and happily will bring us great reward and satisfaction.  Our lives are precious and we can fill them with joy.

Today if you’ve been struggling with conflict and pushing against resolution, look at the issue clearly and decide the best way forward.  You have everything you need to be happy and successful.  Make decisions today that will bring you joy in the future.  You are precious and priceless.  Be happy and choose wisely.

Worst Case Scenario

9 May

We are only able to control our own choices and the things we do. We have no control over what anyone else chooses or what the world brings to us. Although we may live well, are honest and caring, and choose things that will move us forward on the path we want to travel, all bets are off when it comes to the decisions of others. Despite our best efforts to be fair and kind, there may be times when someone will treat us badly. Perhaps they lie to us or about us, do devious and mean things to us, take our possessions or break into our space uninvited, manipulate us or even physically harm us. We can’t control anything but ourselves and sometimes others may make bad decisions that bring hardship, pain, and sadness into our lives. It’s difficult to manage when it’s someone close to us and worse when it’s someone we love. We may struggle to understand why they would hurt us and we may be heartbroken but trying to understand why others do anything is wasted time. Everyone makes their own choices and sometimes people choose badly. Instead of trying to figure out why they are doing what they are doing, it’s better to find a way to navigate the situation with grace and keep our standards high. In the end our choices are what direct our lives. If we make the best choices, even when there is trouble, we will prevail.

When someone attacks us our first instinct may be to fight back. The fight or flight reflex is coded into our genes and helps us survive. It’s a valuable trait but unless we’re in a face off with a lion we can choose something higher. Getting down in the dirt and hitting back will never help us. Even if we win the fight, we may lose our self-respect. Responding badly to a sucker punch only makes us the sucker. We can stand taller and refuse to take the bait. Often when someone hurts us they are seeking control over us. If we stay calm, we can use wisdom and composure to control the situation and win. Even in a worst-case scenario we have everything we need to be in control and choose wisely.

Everyone is different and all we can see is what they show us. Sometimes the person we’ve trusted and shared our lives with isn’t honest about who they really are. They may play along and pretend they are friends but if their intentions aren’t authentic, in time their real attributes will become apparent. When that happens, if they turn out to be someone who is untrustworthy and hurts us we may feel betrayed. We may wonder how we ever believed in them and struggle to forgive ourselves for falling into a bad situation. But trusting others is noble and it’s honorable to extend friendship. We only answer for our own choices and can choose what is right no matter what others do.

Today if you’re in a situation where someone you trusted has hurt you and you feel betrayed and angry, choose wisely going forward. Don’t let the decisions of others pull you from the path you most want to travel. Keep your eyes focused ahead and let your actions set the example for what is right and good. You deserve every happiness. Choose well and be true to yourself. You will succeed and you will win.

Moving In

31 Mar

Sometimes the bottom falls out of our plans, the road we’re on suddenly turns to the left or a door we’re walking through abruptly slams in our faces.  There may be moments when everything changes at once in ways that upend us and our vision ahead is temporarily blocked.  When we face sudden and unexpected setbacks we may lose our composure, have a meltdown and come unglued.  Nobody is perfect and unforeseen immediate loss is hard to face.  When it happens it’s important to remember we are going through a difficult passage that is temporary.  We don’t have to move into the disaster and let it consume us or become a permanent scar that we continually pick at and obsess over.  Nothing in life is forever and tomorrow, no matter what we’re facing today, something will change.  No disaster lasts forever and we don’t have to pack up and move into sorrow.  We can navigate the problem even if it’s far reaching, reign in our emotions so we can think, and find a way to continue.  We can regain our composure and face whatever we must to move forward.  No life is without disappointment and no matter what happens it is not a permanent fixture.  We can step back, see everything objectively, take the time we need to readjust and grieve, and then we can begin again.  There will always be blessings ahead for us no matter where we are now.  We can find happiness and peace again as we continue on.

When we’re overcome with disappointment or sorrow it may be hard to see the road ahead.  But even when we can’t see it, it’s there for us.  There will always be a way forward no matter what has happened.  It may take time for us to recover from the setback and we can take it.  We can stand still to regroup and refocus.  We can breathe quietly until we are ready to begin again.  No matter when we step forward, there will be a road waiting.  We are always in control of our direction and what we want to do.  Nothing can stop us when we’re ready to move forward.

If something has completely changed the direction of our lives or has a lasting impact on what we can do going forward we can still find a way to happiness.  There are countless destinations and endless journeys we may travel.  We can change our way forward and find a new path.  There is nothing we can’t overcome or conquer.  We can determine that no matter what we will find our way.  Happiness is a gift we give to ourselves.  We deserve every happiness and we can have it no matter what comes to us.

Today if you’re facing a huge roadblock and everything you thought was real has suddenly changed, take a moment to step back and give yourself time to think.  There is a road ahead for you that will lead you to happiness.  You deserve the best of everything.  You can overcome any problem or complication and succeed.  Revise your journey forward and begin again.  Nothing can stop you and you will win.

It’s Not My Fault

18 Oct

We have many experiences every single day and sometimes our lives don’t exactly go the way we planned or the way we most want them to. When things go wrong because we run late, we miss an appointment, we overextend ourselves, or we drop the ball on a responsibility, it’s tempting to say “It’s not my fault,” and then blame the circumstance or someone else involved. Sometimes things really are out of our control and we aren’t responsible for the result, but other times, although we may want to blame someone else, the problem lies with us. When we are the reason things go wrong it’s best to accept our part in the problem and then find a way to fix it. There is great blessing in understanding personal responsibility. It’s a gift that enables us to find our way and clarify our path forward more successfully. When we fully acknowledge exactly what we’re doing when we falter we can learn how to be more successful in reaching our goals. Nobody gets everything right every time. We all take left turns from time to time. Understanding when we’ve failed to follow through and learning from the experience helps us become more honest with ourselves and those around us. And that honesty allows us to see where we need to change to find greater success.

It’s easy to point our fingers outward when things go awry. There are countless excuses we may offer and some of them may be valid. But even if our excuse is valid, we are still responsible for the promise we made. If we own our responsibility, and claim obligation over it we will often find a way to complete it as promised. Our ability to follow through on our promises reflects who we truly are. If we take them lightly and offer excuses when we drop the ball, we may lose the trust of those around us. But if we do all we can to honor them, making no excuses for failure, others will know they can depend on us.

Things go wrong sometimes and we can’t predict the future. If we simply cannot fulfill a commitment we’ve made, we can discuss the situation with the others involved and together come up with a plan to work around the problem. We can be pro-active and acknowledge when things aren’t going to work out. If we over commit, we can revise the plan. If our schedule changes and we can’t complete something we’ve promised, we can ask for help. Communicating our concerns will help us resolve any issue that arises and address a situation before we fail. There isn’t anything we can’t handle. We can keep our promises and we can move forward with confidence and clarity and address any problems that come our way.

Today if you realize you aren’t going to be able to keep a commitment you’ve made, address the situation openly and find a workable solution. Revise your plan and do what is needed to work around the problem. You are wise enough to solve any problem that comes your way. Face it head on and continue moving forward with confidence.

In the Middle

17 Jun

There are times in our lives when decisions must be made that affect others involved.  When everyone agrees on the same choice it’s easy to move forward and get things done.  But we’re all different and our ideas about how things should go sometimes don’t match.  We may feel our solution is best and then be confronted with someone who disagrees.  If the choices are vastly different, there may be conflict as the final decision is determined.  We all understand that compromises must be made from time to time but if we feel strongly about going a certain direction and someone else feels strongly about going the opposite way it may be hard to find common ground.  And sometimes there isn’t anything common within the choices.  When that happens we can find a way to go forward by looking for a solution somewhere in the middle of both directions.  It won’t be exactly the way we want it but it won’t be exactly the other way either.  We can give and take some control.  We don’t have to give it all up but we can’t take it all either.  Finding the middle allows both sides to compromise without giving up anyone’s entire choice.  It isn’t always easy, especially if strong feelings are involved, but it is the best way to ensure we continue to move forward.  If we dig in and refuse to give up anything we’ll end up stuck and that gets us nowhere.

If we find ourselves in a situation where we absolutely believe we are right and the other side is completely wrong it may be hard to hear why we should alter our decision.  Our choice may be an excellent option but rarely is there only one way to get anything done.  There are many ways to do everything and although our ideas may be great, it’s important to remember there are lots of great ideas.  If we openly listen to all the options presented and take the time to really understand another perspective we will more easily be able to compromise.  Allowing all the other points of view to be considered opens the door for new perspectives.  And those new perspectives teach us more about the situation and the options available.

Sometimes we may feel there is only one answer for a problem we’re facing.  There is only one way we can see to get through it.  When that happens if we patiently explain our position and why we believe it must go that way others will be more receptive to our solution than if we simply tell them this is the way it’s going to go.  We all deserve to be heard.  Finding the place in the middle is possible if we respect everyone’s opinion as much as our own.  Even when we’re sure we’re right, sometimes after hearing another viewpoint we may see where we could modify and find an even better solution.  Listening allows us to hear.  And hearing all the possibilities helps us find the best answers.  We are fully capable of making our own decisions but we are also capable of collaborating those decisions when needed.  Collaboration brings a more cooperative partnership and helps us move forward more effectively.

Today if you’ve made a decision and you’re sure it’s the best way but others disagree, listen to their perspective and understand their point of view.  You’ll learn more and your views will broaden.  Stretch your vision to find a compromise that works for everyone and you’ll feel more support and unity going forward.  We’re all in this together.  Join hands with those around you to get the job done.

Tiny Pebbles

28 May

Sometimes when we we’re walking along we may get a small stone in our shoe. We feel it under our foot and it’s aggravating as we walk. While not cripplingly painful, it’s an annoyance that’s uncomfortable. We can stop and remove our shoe and shake it out. After we remove it we can continue on without discomfort. Because the stone is so small if we had to walk with it in our shoe we probably could continue but we would always be aware of its presence. Stopping and removing it is the only way to find relief. Our lives can be like that at times. There may be something bothering us on the periphery that isn’t crippling but is annoying and constant. Perhaps it’s a discussion we need to have with someone else that we’ve put off. Or maybe someone did something that hurt us and we haven’t been able to let it go. There are a million things that could be drifting around in the background that don’t stop us from moving forward, but are bothersome and keep our attention. The only way to remove them is the same as removing the annoying pebble in our shoe. We must stop, address the issue, do what it takes to resolve it, and then move on.

We all have boundaries in our lives and when we clearly define them and understand them we can work around them. But if we let others broach those boundaries in ways that make us uncomfortable and don’t tell them where our lines are, we may be hurt as they stomp all over them. Nobody knows us like we know ourselves. If we don’t communicate what doesn’t work for us, others may make choices that are difficult for us to manage. When that happens if we speak up we have the chance to remove the pebble and move forward. If we are silent, things will remain the same. We are responsible for our own lives. If we don’t like what’s happening, we can speak up.

There may be times when those close to us do things that make us uncomfortable. We can talk to them, explain our discomfort, and ask them to change. But we can only control ourselves and the decisions made by others belong to them. Sometimes even after explaining our feelings people will continue on the same way despite our discomfort. If they are important to us we might just accept that and find a way around the situation because we care about them. Relationships are complicated and sometimes we may choose to go along even when we aren’t happy about the direction. The annoyance will still be there but if we’ve explained our position and asked for what we need, even if things don’t change, we can feel confident that we did all we could. We are responsible for our own happiness and asking for what we want is the best we can do. We won’t always get it but speaking up empowers us to move forward.

Today if you have a situation that’s been bothering you that you haven’t addressed, do what is needed to resolve it. You have all the courage necessary to take care of it. Face whatever is keeping you from being happy and move forward. You deserve to be completely happy. Remove whatever pebble is in your shoe and you’ll find comfort.