Tag Archives: Conflict

Means to an End

20 Mar

We all have things we dream about, goals we want to accomplish and dreams we want to realize. Some of them come easily and others are difficult and complicated, and take a lot of effort and time to achieve. We may face a time when someone offers us the possibility of a shortcut to a destination we really want. Maybe we want a promotion at work, and our current boss tells us if we work on a special project we’ll likely get it. Generally, in cases like this, there isn’t an iron clad promise that the prize will be ours if we comply, but merely the hint that it’ll happen. If we believe it will help move us forward and take the bet, we may choose to do as we’re asked. It’s good to try new things, and work hard, but sometimes the cost is great. Suppose we must work a lot of overtime, and deal with difficult people, and do all kinds of unpleasant tasks to get the job done, and then suppose it takes far longer than we thought it would at the beginning. If we are convinced it’s a necessary means to the end we desire, we may continue on and stick it out. When we’re done, and the project is finished, we might actually get the promotion, but nothing is sure until it happens. If we do, the trials and struggles may have been worth it, but what if it doesn’t happen? What if something changes and the promise we believed in does not come to fruition? Then what? Once trust has been broken it’s very hard to re-establish, and if we must continue to work with someone who’s broken it, the situation may be very difficult to endure. We are in control of our lives and can make any decisions we like, but our we are important, and every day is a gift. Before we accept any suggestion, we can take the time we need to fully understand what is involved, what we’ll have to give up to accomplish the task, and what we’ll lose if things don’t work out. If it’s a chance we’re willing to take, we can proceed forward, but if the costs are high, and there is no guarantee of success, we may decide to wait. Whatever decision we make will take us somewhere. By taking our time and choosing wisely, we can ensure it will take us closer to where we really want to be. We are highly intelligent and perfectly capable of seeing things clearly and making excellent decisions. We can trust ourselves to make the best choice and find great satisfaction moving forward.

Families are complicated and although we love those involved, our relationships may be difficult and trying at times. There may be a lot of pressure to do things the same way as other family members, and if we want to take a different road, there may be conflict and hard feelings. We are entitled to live our lives any way we like, but going against the family norm can be difficult and stressful. If there is a lot of contention, we may buckle and simply decide to set our own desires aside and go with the flow to end the distress. We may be able to follow along for a while, but our dreams will continue to pester us, and if we really want to be happy, at some point we’re going to have to strike out on our own. Being different does not mean being less. We know who we are and what we want, and with courage and determination, we can have the lives we desire most.

We may be in a personal relationship with someone who has ideas about how we should live our lives which may be very different from what we really want. They may suggest what we should do, where we should go, what we should wear, and who we should be friends with. We’re all entitled to our own opinions, but nobody knows us better than we know ourselves. Even someone very successful doesn’t know more about what we want than we do. We can be confident with the decisions we make and trust ourselves to find our own way forward. Every destination is possible and with focus and clarity, we will reach success.

Today remember you are in control of your life. There isn’t anything you can’t do. Every single road is open and waiting, and all your dreams are possible. With determination and confidence, nothing can keep you from success. Decide how you want to proceed and take the first step forward. You are amazing and capable, and nothing is too difficult for you. Be sure and move forward. Every success is already there for you and you will reach them all.

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Walking Away

21 Dec

We make all kinds of connections and build lots of relationships as we go through our lives. Some are important and we hold them close, and others are created out of necessity or circumstance. Every relationship has an impact on us in some way. They may bring us great happiness and satisfaction, help us achieve some goal or destination, or simply alleviate our loneliness. When we have healthy, strong connections that embellish our lives, they may give us confidence and contentment as we move forward. But not all relationships are beneficial. If we are bound to someone else through conflict, anger, or dysfunction, our lives may be gravely impacted, and we may struggle to move ahead. We all know when we’re in bad situations, and we know what needs to be done to move away from them. But we may feel paralyzed and stuck because we are unsure of ourselves or afraid that leaving will be worse than staying. Change can be frightening, but one thing is certain. Our lives will never improve if we continue to remain in destructive situations. We are entitled to full and complete happiness and are valuable and worth every blessing we desire. The road ahead may be uncertain, but we are intelligent and can find our way to any destination we desire. We are never frozen in place. We can walk away from anything holding us back. There is great power and courage within us and nothing, absolutely nothing, can keep us from anything we desire. By trusting ourselves and choosing happiness, we can have the lives we want the most. Every single dream is possible, and with courage and determination, we can make them ours.

People say a lot of things to get what they want. If someone wants us in their life, they may tell us we need them to be happy, and without them we’ll fail. Our happiness is our own responsibility. Nobody can provide it for us despite what they may say. We already know what we want to do and where we want to go, and by achieving our own personal goals, happiness will follow. We are intelligent and wise, and completely capable of designing the lives we want. Nothing can keep us from any goal we desire, and every dream can be ours.

Routine and history are powerful motivators. If we’ve been in an unhappy situation for a long time, we may feel it’s too late to change. That is never true, and we can do anything we want at any time. When we’re ready to move forward, we can step in a new direction, leaving what doesn’t work behind. The whole world is there for us, and every road is waiting. We can go anywhere and do anything. There is sufficient courage and wisdom within us already to guide us to the destinations that will fulfill and bring us incredible happiness. By moving forward, with our eyes focused on the goal, we will succeed.

Today if you’re in a situation that isn’t working and you want a change, be confident and move in a new direction. Every single dream you desire is waiting for you. You have everything you need to reach them, and nothing can keep you from success. Be confident and trust yourself. You are amazing and can achieve complete happiness.

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Power of Soft

17 Sep

When we have disagreements with others, we can choose to try and keep the conversation calm or we can escalate it. If we’re angry and feel we’re being attacked, we may decide we don’t care and jump in with both feet. It’s easy to react instead of respond calmly. If we’re being yelled at, and we yell back generally things will get worse. And when we’re angry sometimes we don’t care if things worsen. But if our relationship is important to us, we might consider going another way. If we do something to deescalate the issue, we have a better chance of reaching resolution without causing more problems. It is said that a soft voice turns away anger, and that’s often true. When people are angry and upset, they tend to raise their voices. If we return their loud statements with a soft response it changes the dynamic of the exchange. It will be unexpected, and often they will lower their voice as well. Even if they aren’t yelling but are saying unfavorable and contentious things, responding with a soft voice will often keep the situation from intensifying.

Some people are loud by nature. They say things with determination and conviction. They are neither demure nor reserved, and sometimes because of the volume of their voices we may misinterpret their interactions with us. A loud voice doesn’t always mean there is a problem. But if there is an issue, responding with a soft voice when talking to them will get their attention. And when we get their attention, we have the opportunity to resolve any issue more effectively. When we respond quietly in times of conflict, people lean in, and listen. It stops even the most determined and angry, and changes the tone of the interaction.

When we’re angry and upset, sometimes instead of being calm and taking time to think through the issue, we might lash out. We may blast the person we feel caused the problem and let them know, in no uncertain terms, how we feel. When we do that we might feel better, but it rarely helps to solve the problem. If we wait, and take just a moment to collect our thoughts and think about the whole situation before we talk to them, and then use a soft voice, we have a better chance of finding a resolution without making the problem worse. It takes self-control and patience to wait, but we are all capable of handling conflict better, and managing our anger more effectively. Think about using a soft voice when you confront someone you’re angry with. It will calm you down and instead of defending themselves after feeling attacked, they will be able to respond and explain things more clearly.

Today if you are angrily confronted by someone else, try to respond using a soft voice. Be calm and clear, and quietly answer their concerns. You will be in control of the situation and yourself, and you’ll feel more confident and strong. Listen to their complaints and quietly answer their questions. It will diminish the conflict, and help resolve the issue. You can handle any situation that comes up today with a soft voice and quiet demeanor. You will prevail by being in control, and your day will be better and easier because of it.

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That’s Mine

3 Jul

Sometimes because of something we care deeply about, we may state our case in forceful ways. We want to make a point, and we want to be clear. It’s good to clarify where we stand, but sometimes we may go too far. We become too strong in our statements, and instead of helping others understand our position, we tell them how it is. And when that happens, we sometimes offend them. Even if offense was never in our plan, it can happen. People are complicated, and everyone has a different level of tolerance for intensity. Some people translate it into conflict. Some people can manage a lot of heated discussion, and others shrink from it. Nobody is exactly like us, and we must remember that. What may seem fine to us, may be offensive to someone else. We can say that’s their issue, and it is. But if it alienates them from us, it’s also our issue.

There is a lot going on in our lives all the time. We are busy, we are often stressed, we are in a hurry, and sometimes we forget to be considerate, and careful with the feelings of others. We run over them with our ideas and decisions, and we don’t wait for their response. We get in, get it done, and get out. When we do that, things will get done, but we may also damage the relationships we need to go forward. It’s better to be the one that includes other ideas, and brings others into the discussion. It’s more effective to ask for input, as well as give our suggestions. Life is all about give AND take. If we’re so sure we’re right, so sure we have it figured out, so sure of ourselves, our attitude may restrict others from joining us. And it can cause problems. It’s better to express ourselves in ways where others feel welcome, and valued.

If we do something that hurts someone else, it belongs to us. If we feel passionately about something but express that passion in ways that offends others, it belongs to us. If we inadvertently hurt someone by something we’ve said or done, it belongs to us. There is no way to push the ownership of anything onto someone else if we’ve done it. We own it. It’s ours, and because it’s ours, we’re the only ones who can make it right. We’re the only ones who can correct the slight. We will answer for everything we do, so if we’ve hurt someone, we need to take the next step, and try to repair the damage.

Today if you have something important that you need to discuss, something you feel strongly about, remember the feelings of those you address. They may process things differently. They may need a little time. They may have suggestions for you. Everything you want to accomplish will be easier with others on your side. Let them in. Tell them how you feel, and let them join you. Be clear, and be strong, but also be open, patient, and welcoming. An army of one can only do the work of one. But an army of friends, can conquer anything.

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