Tag Archives: Tolerance

Hard Line

14 Jan

There are billions of people in the world and although we’ll never come in contact with many of them, there are others around us most of the time. Sometimes it’s easy to interact with them but other times they may interfere with our plans, get in our way, object to our ideas, and basically make it harder for us to do what we want to do. It takes some skill and decorum to get through sticky situations when someone else isn’t on the same page we’re on and doesn’t share our views. Compromise is always a possibility but if we’re mad or determined to get things our way, we may draw a hard line and refuse to budge. That might work for us sometimes, but often all it does is escalate the situation and make things worse. If others feel their views are dismissed or ignored, we may find ourselves in an emotionally charged and difficult position. The whole idea is to move forward in every aspect of our lives, and there are many roads to every goal. Whatever we want to accomplish can likely be done in several ways. Instead of deciding it’s our way or the highway, we can open our minds up to the possibilities and options presented by others and bring them on board. Everyone wants to be heard and feel valued. We can get to our goals and reach every destination by listening carefully and finding a solution that expresses everyone’s point of view. It takes a little more work than just forging ahead our own way, but the ultimate success is worth it. Everyone has good ideas. We can include them in our plans and move forward.

We’re all at different places on the spectrum of intelligence and understanding. Some people are very smart and understand concepts and ideas quickly and completely. Others take more time to comprehend the goal and what must be done to accomplish it. How fast we understand the issue doesn’t define our success. When everyone is ready, they can contribute ideas for success, decisions can be made, and a plan can be put into motion. Everything is attainable and with patience and cooperation we can reach any goal.

When we’re confident and have a clear understanding of an issue, if we want others to agree with us, we may state our position and the reasons why we feel the way we do. We may convince those around us to follow our lead, or they may prefer to do things their way. There is not one, absolute, perfect answer to any problem. We can accept modification of our plans that include everyone’s perspective. The idea is to get to the goal – not necessarily to get to it in one specific way. We can be tolerant and patient enough to include those around us and choose the best road ahead.

Today if you’re sure you have the perfect answer to a problem but others around you disagree, listen carefully to their suggestions. There are always many roads to any destination. Include those around you and find an answer that represents everyone. You are wise and strong. Share your wisdom and allow others to share theirs with you. Compromise will bring freedom and success. You have so much to offer. Be willing to listen and move forward with confidence.

That’s Mine

3 Jul

Sometimes because of something we care deeply about, we may state our case in forceful ways. We want to make a point, and we want to be clear. It’s good to clarify where we stand, but sometimes we may go too far. We become too strong in our statements, and instead of helping others understand our position, we tell them how it is. And when that happens, we sometimes offend them. Even if offense was never in our plan, it can happen. People are complicated, and everyone has a different level of tolerance for intensity. Some people translate it into conflict. Some people can manage a lot of heated discussion, and others shrink from it. Nobody is exactly like us, and we must remember that. What may seem fine to us, may be offensive to someone else. We can say that’s their issue, and it is. But if it alienates them from us, it’s also our issue.

There is a lot going on in our lives all the time. We are busy, we are often stressed, we are in a hurry, and sometimes we forget to be considerate, and careful with the feelings of others. We run over them with our ideas and decisions, and we don’t wait for their response. We get in, get it done, and get out. When we do that, things will get done, but we may also damage the relationships we need to go forward. It’s better to be the one that includes other ideas, and brings others into the discussion. It’s more effective to ask for input, as well as give our suggestions. Life is all about give AND take. If we’re so sure we’re right, so sure we have it figured out, so sure of ourselves, our attitude may restrict others from joining us. And it can cause problems. It’s better to express ourselves in ways where others feel welcome, and valued.

If we do something that hurts someone else, it belongs to us. If we feel passionately about something but express that passion in ways that offends others, it belongs to us. If we inadvertently hurt someone by something we’ve said or done, it belongs to us. There is no way to push the ownership of anything onto someone else if we’ve done it. We own it. It’s ours, and because it’s ours, we’re the only ones who can make it right. We’re the only ones who can correct the slight. We will answer for everything we do, so if we’ve hurt someone, we need to take the next step, and try to repair the damage.

Today if you have something important that you need to discuss, something you feel strongly about, remember the feelings of those you address. They may process things differently. They may need a little time. They may have suggestions for you. Everything you want to accomplish will be easier with others on your side. Let them in. Tell them how you feel, and let them join you. Be clear, and be strong, but also be open, patient, and welcoming. An army of one can only do the work of one. But an army of friends, can conquer anything.