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Undone

11 Oct

Conflict is a normal part of life. We’re all different and our ideas about how things should go are specific to our own experiences and desires. Although we may agree with others on some things, there will likely be times when what we want is in direct opposition to the thoughts of those around us. If the decision doesn’t impact us or have a lasting affect on our lives, we may politely disagree and let it go. But if it has a big influence over what we’re doing or stops us from where we want to go, we may get into an intense situation as we push for our views to be accepted and refuse to move toward the other side. Severe disagreement may create anger that might overtake us if we aren’t careful. We may become completely undone and lose control if the issue is extremely important to us and we cannot abide the idea of letting it go. Unfortunately, if anger takes over we may act out in ways that deteriorate the discussion and lose our ability to convince the other side to consider our viewpoint. It can be hard to be calm when we feel we’re losing something very important. It can be hard to listen to the other side and try to understand their position. But ranting and raving, raising our voices or in other ways impacting the situation negatively will never get us what we want. It’s impossible to bring others over to our side by making them feel bad. We are always in control of our behavior – good or bad. When we’re facing difficult situations and feel our emotions start to rise, we can step back and take an objective view of things. There are always possible compromises and if we keep our heads we’ll find them. We can achieve any goal we desire by staying focused and work through any complications that arise. Everything is possible if we are willing to find the way through.

Some people love to argue. They like the intensity of heated discussion and the chance to prove they are right, no matter what the issue is. Arguing for the sake of arguing rarely brings any benefit to those involved. Plenty of conflict will present itself without trying to invent more. It’s better to diffuse it when we it arises and find a way forward that includes everyone’s input. There are always many ways to do anything and we can find an inclusive and supportive road going forward.

There will be times when no matter what we say or how convincing we are, we will not get our way. We may have to change our focus and do things differently than we prefer. Being flexible and willing to go another way takes patience and self-control. Although we may not be on the road we want, we are creative enough to find our way forward. There are endless roads to every destination and we can find our way ahead even if we must take a detour to get there.

Today if you’re in a situation that feels impossible and you’re in opposition to what you’re being asked, try to be flexible and find a compromise that will work. There are endless possibilities available and you’ll find one that fits. Be patient with compromise and keep your eyes focused on your goals. Everything is possible and you will reach the destination you seek.

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Declining

20 Sep

“I’m disinclined to acquiesce to your request. Means “no.” Captain Barbossa, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Curse of the Black Pearl

Throughout our lives, people will ask us to do many different things. They may ask us for something for them or someone else, it might be a personal favor or a professional agreement, or it may be something entirely different. It’s easier to navigate any interaction when everyone involved agrees and there is no dissension in the ranks. When any request comes it’s up to us to decide how we want to proceed. If there’s pressure from those around us we might agree even when we don’t want to. We’re always in control of our decisions and can do whatever we feel is best for us. But politics, pressure, and even coercion may come into play and when they do we may feel we have no option but to agree. If we’re concerned about what may happen if we decline a request it will impact our ability to choose objectively. But if the decision requires us to do something we feel is unethical, immoral or illegal, or if we simply don’t want to go along, despite any pressures placed on us, we can decline. We have enough courage to say no when we want to, and never have to do anything that compromises us in any way. Our lives are ours to design and every choice we make defines who we are. We can be true to our personal best and make decisions that reflect who we want to be. The paths we choose are up to us and no matter what others around us are doing, we can go our own way.

There are endless ideas about what we should do, where we should go, how we should dress, what we should eat, and so on. There is no one perfect way to live life, and everyone is entitled to make any choices they like. We don’t need the agreement of others to choose the paths we’ll follow or what we’ll do. We can be confident in our decisions even if they don’t match those around us. Our lives belong to us and the unique interpretation we bring enhances the world and brings depth to everyone’s experience. We can be confident in our uniqueness and make decisions that reflect what we want the most.

There are endless reasons to do the things we do. It’s always easy to go along with others and follow their lead and we may certainly choose that whenever we like. But every decision we make reflects who we really are and impacts the road ahead. If we review our steps before we make them and alter our course when we need to we will more effectively reach the goals we most desire. We are the only ones who decide where we’ll go. All destinations are possible and we can choose any road to travel.

Today if you’ve been asked to do something you don’t want to do but aren’t sure about declining, remember your decisions are important and your views are valuable. You can do anything you like. All options are possible and nothing is out of reach. You are strong, wise and powerful. You can design your life any way you like. Be confident and choose the roads that will take you where you most want to go.

Truth and Freedom

11 Sep

We go through many experiences as we navigate the ins and outs of life. Some things go well, other times we struggle, it may be easy to find the answers or we may get lost. There are limitless complications that may arise, unforeseen developments that suddenly alter the situation and we are constantly adapting and adjusting to the changes around us. We never know what will happen next and as we step forward on whatever path we’ve chosen we try to make the best choices to bring us the outcomes we desire. If we get tangled up in situations where there is dishonesty it may cloud our vision for a time but truth always rises and becomes clear. Once we know what is real and can see things as they truly are we are free to make our next decision. Truth will always untie the bonds created by dishonesty and open the way forward. When we know what is real and see everything openly we can plan effectively and reach whatever destinations we’ve chosen. Dishonesty and lies may open the way in the beginning but in the end always bind us up and hold us back. They muddy the waters, bring confusion and contradiction, and keep us from moving forward. We can choose to be clear and truthful about everything in our lives and enjoy the freedom that honesty brings. Truth is truth and nothing we do or say can change it. Facing things as they are and accepting what is real will empower us and help us reach our goals. Nothing will pave the way more effectively and people will trust us and honor us when we are truthful and honest in all our dealings.

Honesty is an absolute. It will never work to be somewhat or mostly honest in our dealings. We’re either truthful or we aren’t. Every situation we face will be impacted by the way we handle it. We have all the wisdom and insight we need to make the best decisions going forward and all the courage we need to be completely honest as we go. Embracing what is real gives us power and helps us understand anything before us. Nothing will ever be as effective as choosing to be clear and honest in everything we do.

There may be times when we are tempted – just this once – to lie in an effort to move forward. Maybe we believe it will help us open a door we’ve been struggling with or enable us to influence someone we want on our side. We can do anything we like and every decision is ours to make but lying one time makes it easier to lie again. Once we open that box it may be hard to close it again and each deception will take us further from who we really want to be. We’re smart enough to figure out any situation and manage it honestly. There is never a need to sacrifice our integrity to get to a goal. All options are possible and staying true to our best standards will help us achieve them.

Today if you’re tempted to lie to get through a complicated situation, remember truth is the only way to freedom. The confidence you gain by being honest is a priceless asset. There is nobility and greatness in you. Magnify them and choose wisely. You can do anything and reach any goal you desire. Be the best you can be and all the doors will open for you.

Momentum

30 Aug

“Strength or force gained by motion or by a series of events.” Miriam-Webster

There are a lot of people around us all the time. We may not interact with all of them but there will be some with whom we build strong connections and come into contact with every day. Influence can be very powerful and if we’re involved with people who have strong ideas and opinions, our on-going contact with them may change our lives. Behaviors have a way of rubbing off on others and without even noticing, we may find we begin to look like them and act like them simply because of their constant interactions with us. Like an on-coming tide, there may be momentum in their influence over us. We may get swept up in what they’re doing, what they believe, and how they think we should live our lives. We can change anything about what we’re doing at any time but it’s important to be in control of the changes we’re making. Going along with someone because they are powerful and we admire them will not allow us to genuinely be who we are. Each of us is unique and have special gifts to offer the world that no one else can give. If we surrender that uniqueness to fit into someone else’s ideas, our gifts may remain unopened and our influence in the world may be quieted. We can be close to others and still hold onto our personal beliefs and desires. We can share our lives and still remain true to who we are. Momentum can be powerful but nothing is strong enough to carry us away if we are happy where we are. Our individuality is precious and by staying true to our core beliefs and values we enhance the lives of everyone around us.

When we’re children we mimic what our family does. We do things the way our parents tell us to and do not yet have our own personal style or belief system. As we grow and get to know the world we decide what is best for us and who we want to be. Every step we take defines us and creates the unique personality we share with others. By being ourselves, we bring diversity and variety to the world around us and enhance the experiences of others.

We are in control of our personal lives but if we don’t know what we stand for or who we are we may bend and follow every idea that comes along. There are a lot of different perspectives and we must decide which ones are best for us. We can’t be everything to everyone. We can clearly determine what we will and won’t do, and how we will live our lives. The design is ours to create and each day we can adjust and refine our way forward until we are happy with the lives we’re living.

Today if you’ve been following someone you admire who has definite ideas about what you should do, remember you know yourself better than anyone else. Decide how you want to live your life and then move forward in ways that bring you every blessing you desire. You are a gift to the world just as you are. Show us your uniqueness and share your life with us. We all want to know you. Your presence is a great gift to us all.

Go Faster!

16 Aug

We all have our own ideas and methods for getting things done. Some people like to jump into projects with both feet and storm through them as quickly as possible. Others like to take time to look at the situation before beginning and then carefully and cautiously proceed watching out for any stumbling blocks in the way. Neither method is wrong but when we’re on one side of the process we may deride the other as either being foolish for moving so fast, or become impatient because they are taking their time. The way we do things is completely up to us. We can rush through or ponder each step along the way. It’s a matter of personal choice for what we feel will work best. If we’re in a hurry it’s hard to wait for someone who is going slowly. We may press them to go faster, tell them to forget the minutiae, skip the finer points and details, and get on with it. It’s nice to accomplish many things and we may feel successful when we’ve checked a lot of boxes off our list, but rushing doesn’t always bring the best results. We may find the things we skipped over in order to get the job done fast are the very details that come back to haunt us because we left them undone. Fast doesn’t always translate into complete. It will do us no good to get something done quickly if we have to go back and do it again. Even if our schedule is pressing, we can take a moment to ensure we are clear on all the details and understand exactly what needs to be done. Then we can proceed with confidence and complete everything as effectively as possible.

It can be hard for high energy people to wait. Waiting takes patience and it’s hard to be patient when we want to move forward. If others are taking more time than we like and we think we know the way forward, we may jump in and take control. If we push others aside and rush forward with our own plans we may reach the goal faster but it may cost us in personal relationships we value. Everyone’s opinion is important and all views are valuable, even if they’re different from ours. We don’t have to do things our way every time to succeed. There is never only one road forward. We can be open to other ideas and still reach the goal.

There is no way to know what lies ahead before we get there. We can’t read the future and there will always be unforeseen complications we don’t expect. Although we can’t prepare for what we can’t predict, if we keep our vision open to everything around us instead of laser focused only on the goal, we will be ready when problems arise. We are capable of navigating through any issues that come up. Success is always possible and by allowing different ideas into play, we will find it and reach the destination.

Today if you’re impatient because someone is moving slowly, be open to their perspective and listen to their ideas. You may find their choice will take you forward more quickly than rushing ahead yourself. There are limitless options available to you. Open your eyes wide and see everything before you. Success will always be there and you will reach it.

Just and True

16 Jul

We are all accountable for everything we do.  When we make decisions that work out well we may feel great satisfaction that we chose wisely.  We are capable of making excellent choices but we aren’t perfect and there will be times when we may choose something that doesn’t go the way we want it to.  If we make decisions that bring unhappiness or negatively impact our lives or those around us, we may feel the ramifications going forward.  Life is complex and there are often many factors involved in every decision we make. If we’re dishonest and blatantly do things to hurt others or deceive, we may try to deflect our involvement by making excuses or blaming others.  If we choose badly we may point to the influence of those around us, or the stress we’ve been under, or the complications of the decision that were misleading, or even the weather.  All the excuses may be valid but we still own the decision.  It is right and just to be accountable for what we do.  If we want to live honestly we must accept that justice – even if it means we will suffer – must prevail.  Reasons and excuses for a bad decision may bring understanding of how the choice was made but they cannot change the result.  We are going to make mistakes and when we do we can accept the error, learn all we can from it, do what is needed to correct our course, amend anything we’ve damaged, and move forward.  We can be honest in accepting our part and take what we’ve learned with us to help us in the future.

After a bad decision we might distract those around us from the truth by creating a lot of noise blaming others or the situation.  We might get a pass if we are loud and convincing enough but nothing can change the past and what has happened will remain.  If we refuse to openly admit the error and look at it clearly we won’t learn anything from the experience.  They say those who refuse to learn from their mistakes are doomed to repeat them, and that’s likely true.  If we don’t use the experience as a teaching tool, we may repeat the same behaviors again and again, even if they bring us hardship.  Instead, we can determine to see everything completely and learn as much as possible so we don’t suffer through the same situation again.

When we’re responsible for a situation that turns out badly, we may try to deny our part in the mess as a way of escaping accountability.  We may be able to fool others for a while but truth always rises.  Denial simply delays the inevitable.  Everyone makes mistakes and there is no need to pretend things are different than they are.  We are capable of managing any situation and if we’ve stumbled we can right ourselves and start again.

Today if you’ve made a decision that has brought you trouble, look at the situation openly and honestly.  Be accountable for your actions and do what is needed to correct your way forward.  You are wise and capable of making excellent choices.  Don’t let a mistake hold you back.  Be confident and start again.  Success is always possible and you will reach it.

Grudge Match

5 Jul

Conflict is a normal part of life. We may not like it and we may try to avoid it but we’re all individuals and differences will happen. We don’t have to agree with everyone and everything and there will be times when we won’t comply with what someone else wants. When there is tension and disagreement we may blame the other party for not agreeing with us and making things difficult. We may understand that we’re all entitled to our own opinions but when push comes to shove, despite that understanding, we may press to get our own way. If we can’t prevail we may hold a grudge against the other party and allow it to color our interactions with them going forward. Grudges have no power over anyone but the person carrying them. If we’re angry we may hold tight to them and they may keep us down and prevent us from moving forward. They can be crippling and will never solve any problems or help us find answers. It can be hard to let go of disappointment. We can blame everyone and everything for what goes wrong but that will change nothing. If we want our situation to improve we must let go and actively step forward. Our lives are always in our control and we can manage anything effectively to move ahead. We can accept differences and with patience and grace find the way forward through any conflict. Life is filled with challenges and we are certainly smart enough and wise enough to manage them. Every success is possible, even in disagreement, and we can find all the answers we need.

Some people like to argue and enjoy the intensity and dynamic of heated discussions. When we interact with them it may be difficult to find answers as they question every statement we make. It can be hard to get our point across if they dissect everything we say and oppose every suggestion. We don’t have to defend our position and we don’t need complete agreement in order to move forward. There are always possible compromises and adjustments to any plan. If we are open and flexible we will find the answers to address every concern and reach understanding.

There will be times when we won’t get our way and things will turn in a direction we don’t want. We may feel like we’ve lost the battle and carry anger away from the situation. Life is sometimes an uphill battle and sometimes we’re going to lose but that doesn’t mean we aren’t important and valuable. We can be open to new ideas and accept change when we must in order to keep moving ahead toward the goals we want the most. We can do anything even when things go wrong. We are strong and capable and with patience and determination we will find success.

Today if you’re struggling with a decision and unhappy about what’s happened, let go of any anger and look at your options going forward. Disappointments are just turns in the road. You can still get to your goals and succeed. Change direction and re-chart your course. Every destination is possible and you are strong enough and wise enough to get there.