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Tag Archives: Wisdom

Grudge Match

5 Jul

Conflict is a normal part of life. We may not like it and we may try to avoid it but we’re all individuals and differences will happen. We don’t have to agree with everyone and everything and there will be times when we won’t comply with what someone else wants. When there is tension and disagreement we may blame the other party for not agreeing with us and making things difficult. We may understand that we’re all entitled to our own opinions but when push comes to shove, despite that understanding, we may press to get our own way. If we can’t prevail we may hold a grudge against the other party and allow it to color our interactions with them going forward. Grudges have no power over anyone but the person carrying them. If we’re angry we may hold tight to them and they may keep us down and prevent us from moving forward. They can be crippling and will never solve any problems or help us find answers. It can be hard to let go of disappointment. We can blame everyone and everything for what goes wrong but that will change nothing. If we want our situation to improve we must let go and actively step forward. Our lives are always in our control and we can manage anything effectively to move ahead. We can accept differences and with patience and grace find the way forward through any conflict. Life is filled with challenges and we are certainly smart enough and wise enough to manage them. Every success is possible, even in disagreement, and we can find all the answers we need.

Some people like to argue and enjoy the intensity and dynamic of heated discussions. When we interact with them it may be difficult to find answers as they question every statement we make. It can be hard to get our point across if they dissect everything we say and oppose every suggestion. We don’t have to defend our position and we don’t need complete agreement in order to move forward. There are always possible compromises and adjustments to any plan. If we are open and flexible we will find the answers to address every concern and reach understanding.

There will be times when we won’t get our way and things will turn in a direction we don’t want. We may feel like we’ve lost the battle and carry anger away from the situation. Life is sometimes an uphill battle and sometimes we’re going to lose but that doesn’t mean we aren’t important and valuable. We can be open to new ideas and accept change when we must in order to keep moving ahead toward the goals we want the most. We can do anything even when things go wrong. We are strong and capable and with patience and determination we will find success.

Today if you’re struggling with a decision and unhappy about what’s happened, let go of any anger and look at your options going forward. Disappointments are just turns in the road. You can still get to your goals and succeed. Change direction and re-chart your course. Every destination is possible and you are strong enough and wise enough to get there.

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The Frog

3 Jan

There is an old saying that if you want to cook a frog, put it in a pot of cold water and slowly heat it up.  It’s said that a frog will hop out of hot water but will sit in cold water and not notice the additional heat until it’s cooked.  If we’ve never wanted to cook a frog we may never need to test this hypothesis, but we may still experience the same process.  If someone wants us to do something they know we would never agree to, they may begin by including us in a situation we would find acceptable and then, slowly and carefully, modify the process until they reach their desired result.  Nobody is exempt from the deceit of others and there may be times when we may be shocked to find ourselves in situations we would never have chosen had we seen all the facts up front.  If we’re involved with someone we like or admire, and they slowly heat the water around us taking us where we don’t want to go, we may not notice anything until we’re metaphorically cooked.  We don’t know what we don’t know, and if we’re connected to someone who has secret plans, we may follow along until we end up in the wrong place.  It’s hard to believe anyone we care about and trust would do anything to mislead or deceive us, but it may happen.  When we finally see everything clearly we may feel like a fool wondering how we didn’t see the signs.  It’s easy to look back and see everything openly but if someone is blocking our vision it’s impossible to see the whole picture.  It’s like walking through fog.  Everything is muted and unclear, and even if we try we can’t see everything that is before us.  When the fog lifts it’s easy to look back at the path and see everything we missed.  In time all truth becomes evident.  Every deception will be uncovered and when it is, if we need to, we can correct our course.  We never have to continue on any road we don’t want.  We can turn and move forward toward success.

Shame is a very powerful emotion and can be quite destructive.  It may make us feel inadequate and unworthy.  We may feel intense shame if we discover we’ve fallen for a lie and taken our lives somewhere we don’t want to be.  We only answer for the choices we make and if we’ve been tricked into believing lies, the responsibility belongs to those who own them. If we find we’ve been fooled and manipulated, although we may be hurt, there is no need to feel ashamed.  It’s good to believe in and trust others.  If we are misled because of that belief and trust, those who have abused us are accountable.  We need not disparage ourselves for falling down.  We can stand tall, learn everything possible from the experience, and walk away with confidence knowing more than we did before.

Life is an incredible teacher if we are willing to listen. There are unlimited lessons to learn and everything we experience teaches us something new.  If we believe someone who lies to us, we may fall.  If we learn everything we can from the experience and take that information forward, remembering all the clues we learned, we will be more successful in preventing the same thing from happening again.  We don’t have to fall for the same story twice.  We can learn to feel the heat and step away before the water starts to boil.  Everything we need to be successful is already inside us.  We can watch, listen, and learn, and be wiser going forward.  Every possibility is available to us, and there isn’t anything we can’t comprehend and understand.

Today if you’ve discovered you’ve been tricked into a situation you don’t want, look ahead and decide how to correct your way forward.  A detour will never keep you from your goals.  You are wise and strong, and capable of understanding everything around you.  Keep your eyes on the road ahead and your path will become clear.  Every success you desire is waiting for you.  Nothing will hold you back and you will find the way.

Pink Slip

12 Jan

As we go through our lives we meet all kinds of different people. Some are acquaintances with whom we have little contact, some we only see in passing, and some become our friends. Having friends is a great support and it can be fun to share our lives with them. When we have close friends, we feel connected, but sometimes we may find ourselves in situations where we have a friendship with someone who turns out to have a negative impact on our lives. Maybe they aren’t honest with us, or manipulate us, or pretend to like us but gossip about us to others. If we share intimate details of our lives with them and they aren’t trustworthy, we may face complications because of our connection with them. When we realize someone we thought was a trusted friend isn’t someone we want to share our lives with, we may disconnect and move forward without them. It’s not easy to think about firing our friends, but if we find the relationship is impacting us negatively, we may end our interactions with them. It can be hard to face the end of any relationship but our lives are important and our happiness is our responsibility. If we’re tangled in a relationship that’s hurting us, we can let it go. We can make choices that bring us comfort and security, and we can move forward any way we choose.

We base our understanding of situations on what we see, what we hear, and what we perceive to be the truth. If everyone in our lives was honest and open about their plans and ideas, it would be easy to discern what is real going forward. Unfortunately, some people have personal agendas that involve secrecy and manipulation. If they are adept at fooling others and we’re involved with them, we may get caught up in a situation that hurts us. Our lives are ours and we may design them in the best way possible. We don’t have to remain in situations that impact us negatively. We can change our course and move forward another way.

Sometimes when we try to step away from a relationship, others may offer plausible excuses for why things have happened, or why we were treated dishonestly. We can listen to any explanations we like and still trust what’s best for us. Even if the one who hurt us promises to change, we may move forward a different way. We can choose what’s best for us in all our dealings. We have all the wisdom we need to make the best choices and we can adjust our path at any time. Happiness is always available to us. We can make decisions that will bring more of it into our lives.

Today if you need to change a relationship with someone be wise and make the best choices going forward. You deserve the very best of everything. You don’t need to remain in any situation that hurts you and you can choose to go another way. Make the finest decisions possible to bring happiness into your life. You already know what’s best for you. Today decide to do what is needed to gain it, and move forward with confidence.

Consequences

16 Mar

Everything we do in our lives affects us in some way. If we make a small decision, the impact of that choice is usually small as well. For instance, if we choose French fries over onion rings neither choice will greatly impact our lives, and our decision is inconsequential. But when we’re making big decisions the consequences can be far reaching. If we are deciding which car to buy, which job to take, whom to date, or whether to move or not, the ramifications of our decision can have long lasting effects on our lives. Big decisions take thought and time to evaluate. We always want to make the choices we’ll be happy with that bring us the desired results. But sometimes, we don’t know how far reaching a decision will become until after we’ve made it. There are times when we decide something quickly because it doesn’t seem that important and then it impacts us in ways we couldn’t possibly have foreseen. We may shake our heads and wring our hands, and wish we could go back knowing what we know now. But the only thing we can do is press forward and resolve whatever has been impacted by the choice we made.

We make decisions based on the information we have at the time.  Sometimes we have all the facts, and sometimes there is no way to know everything.  If we’re trying to decide whether to take a new job or not, we may research the company, and talk to employees who work there.  We may evaluate the position and then if everything looks good, accept the job.  But we may discover despite all our research once we’re in the job it’s far too stressful and a terrible fit for us.  We did our homework but all the facts weren’t clearly available.  Even if we do everything we can, and pay attention, there are times when it’s impossible to know every result before we decide.  If it doesn’t turn out the way we hoped and the consequences are beyond what we want to manage, we will have to make another decision to move forward.  The best we can do is choose wisely from where we are.

If we do all we can to make a good decision and it doesn’t work out we are not at fault.  We can only see what we can see.  Sometimes things go awry and the best we can do if that happens is consider all our options going forward, and choose as wisely as possible.  It’s impossible to know everything, we can’t read the future, and there will always be unknown factors.  But if we take our time and consider everything possible before we choose, we’ll have the best chance of getting to the destination we’re seeking.  We are completely capable of making good choices that will take us where we want to go.  Nothing in this life is permanent and we can change any situation we’re in.  If the consequences of our decision are not what we hoped for, we can correct our course going forward.

Today if you’ve made a decision that didn’t work out and you’re in an uncomfortable situation because of it, you can change things.  You are capable of making excellent decisions and you will find your way through.  You are intelligent and wise.  Turn your course to reflect that.

Choice or Chance

3 Feb

Lots of things happen to us in life. Some of them are planned for and expected, others are surprises, both good and bad. We make a lot of choices that work out, and some that don’t, and sometimes we take a chance that something we want will happen without us doing anything. The only thing we can really control is ourselves and the choices we make. If we’re proactive we’ll make important choices before they need to happen, or at least try to. But if we put them off, sometimes we take a chance that things will work out anyway. We can make choices or we can leave things up to chance. If we don’t take control of our lives, life will take control of them for us. Nobody knows what’s best for us better than we do. It seems therefore that the best course of action is to ensure we’re involved in decisions that impact us. If we just let things happen and do nothing to direct our lives, we may find ourselves in places we didn’t want to go, doing things we don’t want to do.

Making good choices takes time and thought. The big choices like where we’ll live, what we’ll do, who we’ll spend our lives with, and where we’ll go, are up to us to decide. We can create our lives any way we want them. If we don’t like cold weather, we can choose to live in a warm climate. If we hate office work but need a job, we can choose something we enjoy. If we’re in relationships that aren’t working we can change them. No matter what we need to be happy, we can make choices that will bring it to us. We know what we want, and we know who we are. We know what we need to feel successful and confident. It’s important that we do what is necessary to make choices that will enable us to gain everything that makes our lives the way we want them.

Some people have trouble directing their lives and instead just go with the flow. There is nothing wrong with being spontaneous and we don’t have to plan everything, but if we aren’t in control of where we’re going, somebody or something else is. If several influences are involved we may end up doing things we don’t want to do. Our lives belong to us. If we leave our direction up to chance it might be easier for the moment, but in the end the lives we end up with may not be the lives we most want. Only we know what we want the most and unless we determine to make it happen, chances are we’ll never succeed. We have enough courage and wisdom to direct our lives and make whatever choices we need to be happy. Once we decide where we want to go and what we want to do, nothing can stop us. But we have to decide. We can do that. And when we do, the control we feel over our lives will give us the confidence we need to go forward and get to any destination we choose.

Today if you’ve been leaving your decisions up to chance, or letting others decide for you, think about what you really want. You can go anywhere you want to go and do anything you want to do. You’re in charge of your life and you deserve to get everything out of it you desire. Take charge today. Set your path and start moving toward your goals. There isn’t anything you can’t do. You are amazing and capable. Decide what you want, and then go get it.

Showing Up

17 Dec

Happy days come to us all. Things go well, we’re healthy, our loved ones are doing great, and we feel good. We like our neighbors, enjoy our jobs, and have plenty of relaxation and fun.  When everything is going well and life seems easy, we don’t have to do much to get through our days. They sail by and we feel content, and don’t have to draw on much within ourselves. We’re enjoying our lives, but we aren’t really learning much, which at the time is just fine with us. However, those times never last and when they change into more difficult periods, life becomes more challenging and it’s harder to process what we’re going through. When hard times come, as they inevitably will, we have to rely on ourselves to find courage and strength. Thankfully, both show up when we need them. We have everything we need to face anything that comes to us. Courage and strength wait in the wings when things are going well, and rise to the top just as we need them.

We can trust ourselves to find answers and get through any trial or difficulty we face. No matter how old we are, chances are we’ve faced hurtles before and surmounted them. We’ve figured out difficult puzzles and complex situations already so when they come again in their endless variations, we know we can face them. Of course, nobody wants to go through difficult times, and we may think we want our lives to be an endless picnic of fun without the ants. But life isn’t like that, and it’s in the trials where we learn to be brave and in the fire where we learn to be strong. Our courage is honed through practice, and our ability to process and untangle problems comes with experience.  Every single bump brings with it a blessing. As we go through them, figure them out, and conquer them, we get closer to the person we most want to be. We burn off a little more superficial shell, and get down to who we really are deep inside.

It takes faith to believe we can overcome obstacles that come to us, especially if they are very painful. We will experience many difficult things in our lives – death, sadness, loss, hurt, and shame to name a few. Although we don’t enjoy the hard times, they teach us the most, and on the other side of them we are deeper and more enriched than we were before they began. And we have everything we need to face them. Our courage, our stamina, our determination and our wisdom will rise the moment we need them. They are always there ready to assist, and with them we can conquer anything. Even in the most difficult moments, we can continue to go forward. Nothing lasts forever and as each problem untangles itself, as we heal from the loss, we begin to rebuild into someone stronger and more capable because of what we’ve overcome – again. This life is a continual round of lessons to be learned. We can learn them all and we can defeat any adversity. There is nothing we can’t do.

Today if you’re facing something very difficult and painful, remember you have everything you need to prevail. You have sufficient courage and wisdom to find resolution and move forward. There isn’t anything that is too hard for you. Everything you need is there for you already. Draw on it, pull from it, and let it rise. You will overcome this. It’s just one more step.

Learning to Tuck

18 Sep

We have a lot on our minds every day.  When complications arise, we have even more to address, and it can be overwhelming.  Since we can’t do everything at once, it’s sometimes hard to address everything right away.  We may need to prioritize what we can handle at the moment, and tuck the other issues away until later.  There is sometimes the feeling that we have to do everything right away, or we aren’t doing enough, but that isn’t true.  It is proactive to manage our responsibilities and issues by taking care of the most important things now, and waiting to address the others until we have the appropriate time to manage them.  We are in charge of our lives, and we know what we can manage.  It’s wise to tuck the things that can wait aside until later.

What is the most important thing we must accomplish today?  If we think about that each morning before we start, and identify what we most need to get done, we are more likely to accomplish it.  In the busy responsibilities of daily life, our time can get away from us.  We may get carried away by additional tasks we hadn’t planned on, sometimes things go wrong that hold us up, and there may be complications caused by others.  Add to those the unexpected things that seem to always come up, and our days can get away from us.  If we just take things as they come, there’s a possibility we won’t complete what we need to, and feel disappointed at the end of the day.  But if we have identified what is most important for the day, we can focus on accomplishing it and have a better chance of success.

Tucking things away that can be put aside for a while is a useful tool, but we must ensure we actually go back and address them.  Some people make lists to remind them of things they need to do, some people put reminders in their smart phones or computer, and some people put sticky reminders out where they will see them.  If we are lucky enough to have an assistant, they may remind us of our pending tasks.  Whatever works most easily for us is what we should use.  Tucking things away doesn’t mean forgetting about them.  It just means delaying them for a time.  When we have the time, we need to address them and make sure we are timely in taking care of them.  If we do that, we’ll feel in control of our lives, and happy with our success.

Today if you are overwhelmed with things that need to be done, take a moment and determine what is the most important thing on the list.  Focus on that and tuck the other things away for a time.  You can accomplish a lot if you prioritize your concerns and take each as you can.  You are capable of managing your time and getting all your important tasks completed.  Use wisdom and remember Rome wasn’t built in a day.  There isn’t anything you can’t do.  Plan your work, and then work your plan.  You’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish.