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Power of Soft

17 Sep

When we have disagreements with others, we can choose to try and keep the conversation calm or we can escalate it. If we’re angry and feel we’re being attacked, we may decide we don’t care and jump in with both feet. It’s easy to react instead of respond calmly. If we’re being yelled at, and we yell back generally things will get worse. And when we’re angry sometimes we don’t care if things worsen. But if our relationship is important to us, we might consider going another way. If we do something to deescalate the issue, we have a better chance of reaching resolution without causing more problems. It is said that a soft voice turns away anger, and that’s often true. When people are angry and upset, they tend to raise their voices. If we return their loud statements with a soft response it changes the dynamic of the exchange. It will be unexpected, and often they will lower their voice as well. Even if they aren’t yelling but are saying unfavorable and contentious things, responding with a soft voice will often keep the situation from intensifying.

Some people are loud by nature. They say things with determination and conviction. They are neither demure nor reserved, and sometimes because of the volume of their voices we may misinterpret their interactions with us. A loud voice doesn’t always mean there is a problem. But if there is an issue, responding with a soft voice when talking to them will get their attention. And when we get their attention, we have the opportunity to resolve any issue more effectively. When we respond quietly in times of conflict, people lean in, and listen. It stops even the most determined and angry, and changes the tone of the interaction.

When we’re angry and upset, sometimes instead of being calm and taking time to think through the issue, we might lash out. We may blast the person we feel caused the problem and let them know, in no uncertain terms, how we feel. When we do that we might feel better, but it rarely helps to solve the problem. If we wait, and take just a moment to collect our thoughts and think about the whole situation before we talk to them, and then use a soft voice, we have a better chance of finding a resolution without making the problem worse. It takes self-control and patience to wait, but we are all capable of handling conflict better, and managing our anger more effectively. Think about using a soft voice when you confront someone you’re angry with. It will calm you down and instead of defending themselves after feeling attacked, they will be able to respond and explain things more clearly.

Today if you are angrily confronted by someone else, try to respond using a soft voice. Be calm and clear, and quietly answer their concerns. You will be in control of the situation and yourself, and you’ll feel more confident and strong. Listen to their complaints and quietly answer their questions. It will diminish the conflict, and help resolve the issue. You can handle any situation that comes up today with a soft voice and quiet demeanor. You will prevail by being in control, and your day will be better and easier because of it.

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