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Tag Archives: Support

One Step Forward

2 Jul

There is much to learn as we navigate through our lives.  There are things we need to master to be effective in our jobs or responsibilities, things we want to accomplish that bring us pleasure, and things that must be learned in order to survive.  The road to understanding anything takes time and effort.  We gain some knowledge simply by living our lives and interacting with others.  But much of what we want to understand and fully embrace requires time and diligence.  We push forward to conquer one step and that leads us to the next.  One thing upon another takes us down the path of comprehension until we fully grasp what we’ve been seeking.  When we want to move quickly we may try to take shortcuts as we process everything before us and sometimes they help but can backfire and require us to take a step back and try again.  It’s hard to be patient when we’re trying to master something important and it requires a long time.  It’s hard to wait for understanding when the knowledge we desire will move us closer to where we want to be.  One thing is certain, if we stop we will never succeed.  Even if what we’re trying to do takes years to achieve we can be diligent in pressing forward a little each day to eventually reach the goal.  By keeping our eyes forward and taking one step at a time we can reach any destination we desire.  Nothing is out of reach and success is always possible.  We have everything we need to do anything we choose.  It’s all there for us.  With patience and determination we can reach every goal.

If we decide to tackle a huge goal that requires much time and effort we may struggle pushing forward.  Those around us may offer their support or they may discourage us perhaps believing the goal is too difficult and we will never win.  They may advise us to be happy with what we already have and to let go of the desire to gain more.  Our choices are ours to make and we may abort any plans at any time.  But if we want to achieve the things we truly desire it doesn’t matter how hard the road gets.  We can continue forward and manage any difficulty required to reach the goal.  We are strong and capable and can make all our dreams come true.

When the road is long it’s natural to tire and desire rest.  We can always step away from any struggle when we need refreshment.  Taking a break doesn’t mean we are giving up.  If we need time to regroup we can take it.  When we’re ready to begin again the road will still be there waiting for our return.  We can have the lives we dream about and do all the things we imagine.  The whole world is there for us and every destination is possible.  We can move forward one step at a time and find success.

Today if you’re pushing toward a goal and aren’t sure you can keep going, decide what you really want in your life.  Every dream is possible and you are strong enough and wise enough to make them come true.  Look ahead.  Decide how you want to proceed, chart your course and continue forward.  Success is always there for you and you will reach it.

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Giving In

27 Oct

Most of us like to be helpful. We try to be available when others need us or we offer assistance when we see someone struggling. We want to be there for our friends and family and be supportive. But there may be some who take advantage of us and create situations where we feel uncomfortable. Sometimes it’s because they lack personal boundaries and there are no limits to what they will ask. If they lie to us to get to their objective, we may get tangled up in situations that are difficult and confusing. If they are close friends, family, or loved ones, and this becomes a pattern we may get hurt. If we believe in promises that never become reality and continue to trust them to follow through despite what we’ve experienced, we may find ourselves unsettled and miserable when we deal with them. It can be hard to say no to someone close to us even if we know we may get hurt. There is an old saying that “Hope springs eternal,” and in our personal relationships that is often true. Even if someone has disappointed us many times we may hope the next time will be different. We may trust them to change even if there is no evidence a change is coming.

We are entitled to be happy. We deserve the best life we can create for ourselves. We can understand and clearly define our personal boundaries and when someone steps over them, we can back up. Being in control of our lives and decisions is our responsibility. If someone close to us continually abuses our trust, manipulates us to get what they want, or doesn’t follow through on their promises, we may step back and disengage from them. We don’t have to end our relationship but we can define what we will not do and hold fast to our decision. It’s impossible to change anyone but ourselves. We can’t make others follow through, and we can’t make them honest. But we can control what we do at every turn. If we are asked to do something that makes us uncomfortable we can say no.  If we are promised something we are sure will not happen, we can refuse to believe it. We can stay in our relationships and still honor our boundaries so we are happy.

Some people define love as doing everything others want. They try to make everyone happy and are uncomfortable expressing anything different from those around them. But we are all unique and it’s impossible to make everyone else happy. The world is a big place and there isn’t anyone else exactly like us. We don’t always have to agree or act a certain way to be loved. We deserve love just because we’re here. We can define what works for us and we can say no when we need to. If we are clear about our decisions those around us will know our true selves and respect us for our honesty. We never have to go along or give in if we don’t want to. We can be kind and patient, loving and supportive, and still say no.

Today if you’ve been going along in a situation that is making you uncomfortable, you may say no. You offer so much to the world and we are all blessed because you’re here. You can do what is best for you. You’re in control of your life and you can choose how you live it. Make your best decisions today and happiness will follow.

Making It Happen

15 Sep

There are times in our lives when we really want something to happen. It consumes our thoughts, and we try our best to make things work so it’ll come to pass. Oftentimes the things we want to occur involve others. Sometimes they agree with our plans, but sometimes they don’t, and when they don’t we may try hard to convince them to change their minds. We might try pleading with them, cajoling them, and at our worst, even threatening them in an effort to sell our idea. When things work out the way we want them to, we feel satisfied. We’ve accomplished what we wanted most of all. But when they don’t, when whatever it is doesn’t happen, we may feel angry, defeated, and disappointed.

Everyone gets to make their own choices. We all understand that but when we want those choices to agree with ours and they don’t, accepting it is a little harder. Sometimes our choices are going to be different than what others want. It’s frustrating to be told “no” when we want something very much. It’s hard to accept that our dream isn’t going to happen, especially if it’s a good thing that would benefit others. But if we can’t bring others on board, even if it’s the best idea ever dreamed up, we either have to change it, or we have to let it go.

Sometimes when we fail to get the support we need, we can revise the plan in a way that will bring the results we’re seeking. Maybe we have to wait a little longer until things fall into place. Maybe we need to involve a different group of people, or change the plan to suit the needs of those we need support from. There are no guarantees in this life. We can only try to do our best, and sometimes our best can’t make it happen. Sometimes nothing we do can make it happen. When that occurs, we have to redirect our course. There is nothing wrong with changing our plans. It doesn’t mean we’ve failed. It means we are capable of understanding the situation, and modifying our direction. And those are two very commendable attributes.

Today if you’re up against a brick wall, if things just aren’t working out the way you want them to, or the way you think they should, it might be time to revise the plan. If there is nothing you can do to make things go your way, change lanes. Turn a little to the right or the left, and redirect your course. Modify your plans so you can succeed. Be flexible. Don’t let a setback hold you up. You know what you want, and you’re creative enough to figure this out.

Who’s your friend?

1 Jul

We meet a lot of people in our lives, we make friends, we have acquaintances, and we build relationships. It’s important to share our lives with those around us, and we enjoy the camaraderie that comes from sharing time with our companions. It’s great to have friends. But sometimes we think we have a friend in someone, and then something happens, and we realize the relationship is different than we thought. Sometimes we think we are building a friendship with someone we believe we can trust, and then sadly discover they were only interacting with us for another reason. Perhaps because we were able to introduce them to others who will move them ahead at work. Or maybe they only needed to interact with us to gain some information they were seeking. These things happen, and when they happen to us, we can feel hurt, and used. It’s never appropriate to use others for personal gain, and it’s especially hurtful when it’s done pretending to be our friends, but it does happen, and it’s very disappointing. It’s important to try to figure who our friends really are so we know where we stand.

We want to feel sure about our relationships. Who are the people who spend time with us just because they care about us? Who can we can count on if we need help? Who will care if we are hurt? I had a friend once who told me he was traveling across country one time when his car broke down. He had it towed to the nearest town but couldn’t afford the repairs, and was stranded. Desperate, he called his best friend back home, and told him the story. Without a moment’s hesitation, his friend told him, “Stay right there. I’m on my way.” And with that he jumped in his car, and drove hours to help him. I knew a woman once who was housesitting for a friend when she had a grease fire in her kitchen. The cabinets above the stove were destroyed from smoke damage. She loved her friend and didn’t want her coming home to the mess, or having to make a claim on her homeowner’s insurance. So she spent the next several days refinishing the cabinets herself, and restoring them. Someone else I know sat with her best friend through cancer treatments that went on for months, and then spent every evening with her, sitting by her bed until she recovered, just offering her time and support. We’ve all had people like this in our lives, and they have been very valuable to us. We’ve also had people in our lives who pretend to be our friends, but really don’t care. It doesn’t take long to figure out who our friends are when things go wrong, and it’s important to know. It’s also important that we are true friends to those we care about. Everyone needs people they can count on. Someone who has our back, someone who supports us no matter what, and someone who loves us, warts and all. That kind of loyalty is a priceless gift. We should cherish it, and we should return it whenever possible.

Today there will be all kinds of people around you. Think about them. Who are your real friends? Once you determine who they are, cherish them, help them, and show them you care. They will return the same back to you, and your life will be so much better for it. We’re all in this together. Don’t forget that. We need each other. Being a true friend is the very best we can offer. Extend your hand, be the best friend you can be. There is nothing more valuable.