Tag Archives: Cheat

Fair and Even

7 Mar

As we interact with others who come in and out of our lives, we will meet many different kinds of people.  Some will be nice and enhance our experiences, and others may be difficult.  Everyone has their own expressions and ideas about life. We may agree with them at times and or we may be at odds.  There is an old expression, “An eye for an eye,” which loosely means I will give you back what you give to me.  It seems fair to return what we’ve been given and we may want to keep the score even by doing so.  However, if someone does something mean or hateful to us, returning that to them may not serve us well.  We may feel better hitting back, but all we will have accomplished is proving we can go as low as they did.  Who we are is defined by what we do, not what is done to us.  What seems fair may not always be the best choice.  If we want to be the best we can be, we must be willing to reach higher when we’ve been hit below the belt.  When we’ve been betrayed, scorned, cheated on, lied to, or in any other way demeaned, we can step back and decide what is in our best interest going forward.  We need not continue relationships that don’t work.  We can keep a high standard for our behavior and walk away from those who choose another road.  We are always in control of our decisions and can choose the paths that take us where we want to go.  We can be fair and still move forward with grace and dignity.  We deserve the very best of everything.  By choosing well, we will achieve it.

The fight or flight reflex can have a huge influence over us when we’re in situations that are threatening or aggressive.  We may have an almost uncontrollable desire to run from whomever is involved, or we may feel anger rise in us and desire to smash our opponent.  This is a survival mechanism that warns us of impending danger.  However, most of the time we may not be in real danger, but threatened by a situation or person who is bullying and forceful.  If we take a minute to think about how best to proceed instead of simply reacting, we will find greater success moving forward.  We can take a deep breath, recognize the instinctive cues, and then calmly make a decision about how to proceed.  We can be in control of our lives even when things go wrong and choose the best paths ahead.

Sometimes people get ahead and win despite poor decisions and bad behavior.  It’s hard to watch someone succeed by cheating or bullying, and it goes against our ideas of fair play.  When those who are dishonest or unethical win, we may feel burned and angry.  But life has a way of looping around and in the end, there is no way to escape personal accountability.  We can ensure our peace and happiness going forward by making the best choices each day and choosing the paths that will take us where we most want to go.

Today if someone has done something to hurt you and you want to get back at them, remember who you are and what you really want.  Reach higher and choose the road that will take you to excellence.  You are amazing and powerful, and nothing will stop you from succeeding.  Make your best decisions and every road will open ahead.


Saying No

20 Jan

There are times when we are asked to do things we can’t accomplish or don’t feel comfortable with. Perhaps we don’t have the time to do what is being asked, or the request is something we don’t want to be involved in. And sometimes, what we’re being asked to do is something we simply can’t do because we don’t have the skills needed to accomplish it. When someone we love asks us for something and we feel we can’t comply, it may be difficult to say no. We want to help and we want to be supportive. But if we can’t do it, it’s worse to say we will and then disappoint others because we failed than it is to simply say no at the beginning. Saying no is more difficult for some of us than it is for others. We might feel that being cooperative is imperative in our relationships and saying no will damage them. But if the relationship is healthy and there is mutual respect, declining a request will not hurt. We can feel empowered to make the best choices for ourselves, even if they aren’t the choices others would have us make. We know what’s best for us and we are entitled to have it.

When we decline a request, in their disappointment others may employ guilt to try and make us change our minds. Guilt is very powerful and if we aren’t careful, it can undermine our decisions. But guilt is a self inflicted emotion. Nobody can make us feel it. People can say things to try and inflict it upon us, and do things to encourage us to change our minds. But if we’ve made a decision that’s best for us, we need not allow guilt to enter in. There is no reason to feel guilty for making a good choice. Good choices are the best we can do, and feeling guilty for making them isn’t necessary. If we remember that and focus on going forward truthfully and with a genuine spirit, we’ll make the best decisions possible.

Sometimes we may be asked to do things that make us very uncomfortable. For instance, being asked to lie for someone else, or manipulate situations to help another get the upper hand, or cheat to help a friend – all may make us uneasy. If we go along and compromise our values to please someone else, we may hurt ourselves in the long run. Happiness comes from being true to who we are no matter what situation we’re in. However, if the person asking intently pleads with us, it may be difficult to make the best choice. At times like those, it’s helpful to step back and see the situation objectively. We already know what the best answer is, and stepping back just a little will help us find the wisdom and courage to make it. We don’t have to do anything we don’t want to do. It doesn’t matter who is asking us or what the parameters of the situation are. If we aren’t comfortable we can say no and move on. We can always make the best choices going forward.

Today if you’re being pressured to do something you don’t feel good about, you can say no. You are entitled to make your own decisions. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks you should do, you can do what is best for you. You know what you need to do and you know the right road going forward. Choose that and you’ll always be headed in the right direction.