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Tag Archives: Anger

Losing It

12 Jul

Life is complex and every minute of every day can bring something we never expected or that upends our plans and changes everything. There is no way to know what will happen next or who may enter our lives and turn our ideas inside out. Something may arise that stops us cold and requires us to adjust everything we’re doing. We may wonder how this could happen, but we only have control over ourselves, and there are always a lot of unknowns. Sometimes when we’re trying to move forward, situations or decisions get in the way and keep us from advancing. We can get mad, pitch a fit, scream at those involved, and lose all self-control in an effort to stop the situation. We may feel better after venting our anger and frustration, but it’s unlikely that losing our self-control will help anything, or bring us any answers. Disappointments will come and when they do it’s far better to step back and take a moment to process what’s happened and think about how we can still reach our goal. There are unlimited roads available and many of them will lead to the destinations we desire. If one is suddenly closed off and no longer possible, we can find another. We might not be able to do it in our original time frame, and we may have to go the long way around to get there, but success is still possible. Losing control of our emotions and blasting those around us when things change will only delay us from finding the answers we need. We don’t need any additional delays and by thinking clearly, taking a deep breath, and allowing ourselves time to see all the options available, we can continue to move forward.

When something develops that threatens what we’re doing, our first response might be to deny it’s happening. If we’re averse to conflict, we might ignore the signals that things are changing and out of our control. Looking away from things that are difficult doesn’t change anything and prevents us from finding the answers we need to manage what’s happening. We can’t hide from developments and expect to process them at the same time. We have all the wisdom and strength we need to face whatever comes, and find all the answers we need.

A change in direction is just that – a change in direction. It doesn’t mean we can’t succeed or that any goal is impossible to reach. It may be difficult to accept and we may struggle to understand, but we can still move forward. If we get angry and upset, our ability to think clearly will diminish. We can’t find solutions if we’re losing our minds over something unexpected. We know what we want and if we stop and look around, we’ll find a way to achieve it. Nothing is beyond our reach and no matter what happens, we can succeed.

Today if a wrench has been suddenly thrown into your plans and you’re thrown off course, remain calm and see what’s possible. Every road is available and you will find the way forward. You are amazing and powerful, and can do anything you desire. Make a new plan and step forward. Every success is there for you and you will prevail.

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Hair On Fire

18 Jun

We have all kinds of experiences as we go through our lives. We don’t have control over most of what happens and may be affected by actions and decisions we know nothing about. Things may change suddenly and unexpectedly. We can’t read the future and all the decisions being made by others around us and around the world may bring our lives to a screaming halt. What we do next often determines how things will go from there. If we freak out, lose our minds, and run around like our hair is on fire, chances are we won’t see the answers we need to change the situation. We may be extremely upset about what’s happened, and we might express that in a thousand different ways, but one thing is certain, anger and hysteria won’t help us. We may feel better after we express it, but we’ll still be right where we were when the bubble burst. The only way to change our situation is to see it openly and objectively, and then with patience and clarity choose our next move. There is a solution to every problem, and we are never stuck in any situation no matter how intense or difficult. There will always be a way forward and we can find it. We can look at all the options possible and decide how we want to proceed. Life is filled with uncertainties and surprises. Just when we think we’ve got everything figured out, a wrench may get thrown into our plans. It doesn’t matter how complicated the situation gets, we can find the way forward. We already possess everything we need to do anything we want. We can be strong, and patient and solve any problem that comes. Nothing is powerful enough to hold us down, and we can still achieve great success.

When we’re working hard to accomplish a goal and something we can’t move is in the way, we have options. Sometimes the plans we made at the beginning won’t carry us through to the end. There are always a lot of variables and when they don’t work together, we may have to regroup and change direction. There are many roads to every goal and we can adjust our plans when necessary to continue forward. If we get stopped and can’t move, we can be flexible and find alternative choices that will help us proceed.

Everything we want to do is possible but sometimes we can’t accomplish it right now. If we keep hitting a roadblock no matter what we do or where we go, it may be a signal that the goal isn’t possible at this time. It’s hard to be patient when we want something badly but wasting energy on something that can’t happen won’t benefit us. Life is constantly changing and if we can’t move forward now, we can set the goal aside until things are different and try again. We can accomplish anything we like by looking at our situation clearly and finding the best way forward.

Today if everything has changed and you can’t move ahead with the plans you’ve made, instead of losing control, calmly look at everything possible and decide on your next steps forward. You can accomplish anything you desire and revise your plans when needed to find success. Be confident and be clear. Every goal is there for you. You have everything you need to win and you will prevail.

Calm Waters

18 Jul

The weather can be unpredictable. When it’s calm and sunny we enjoy being outside, but things inevitably change and we will face times when storms rage and we need shelter. When the winds are blowing, or there is driving and unrelenting rain or snow, and it’s unsafe to be outside we will find refuge. There is great comfort being inside a sturdy structure that is tight and secure when the tempest is raging outside. We can relax knowing we are safe and no matter what happens we will be protected. In our lives, we may face tumultuous and difficult situations that rattle our security and make us tremulous. We may be in situations where although there is no physical danger, there is great emotional distress and we worry how we’ll get through. Life is complicated and there may be times when things happen that bring great disharmony into our lives. In the static and friction of the situation we may feel great anxiety and stress. But we have everything we need inside us to create a safe haven as we navigate through. No matter what is going on in the world or in our personal sphere, we can choose to have peace inside ourselves. There isn’t a problem that is too difficult for us to solve or a situation too intense for us to overcome. If we trust in ourselves and our ability to face whatever comes we will have the internal peace we need to find our way through. We can keep the waters inside still and calm even if there are storms raging around us. We are in control of ourselves and can manage anything carefully and effectively.

Some people are quick to anger. If things don’t go as planned or someone disagrees they become agitated and upset and may scream or rant to show their displeasure. It’s normal to vent when we feel upset but losing our temper and self-control will never get us what we want. We all face disappointments and nobody gets to have everything their way all the time. If our plans don’t work out we can find another way through. There is never only one way to do anything and our ability to be flexible and understanding when things go awry will help us find a solution and get to the destinations we seek.

Nobody wants things to go wrong. When we ‘re ready to move forward we never want an unexpected development to enter the picture and ruin our plans. But life is unpredictable and sometimes things happen and complications arise. Unexpected changes are just a time to revise our map going forward. We can be calm and find the way ahead and no matter what happens we will succeed. There isn’t anything we can’t do and with determination and calm we will accomplish every goal we desire.

Today if things are going wrong and it feels like there’s a tempest raging outside and you’re confused about what to do next, calm the waters inside and take the time you need to think. You know what needs to be done and you have everything you need to succeed. Have faith in yourself and trust in the way forward. Nothing is too far for you to reach. Every success is available to you and you will win.

Fair Winds

2 Apr

Everywhere we go and everything we do is changed because we were there.  With every touch, every conversation, and every interaction, we leave a part of us behind.  It’s easy to forget that as we go through each day moving from one task to another.  We’re all sharing the planet together, and even when we think we’re on our own and alone, others see us and hear us, and their lives are changed because we are here.  There is a well know nautical blessing of “Fair winds and following seas.”  To a sailor, fair winds mean an easy and productive day, and following seas push them closer to the safety of the shore.  We can create our own fair winds through our behavior, and when we do, the following seas are the trailing benefits of what we leave behind.  If we are rude and manipulative, or angry and crass, those are the impressions that will follow us.  But if we are kind and patient, pleasant and helpful, that’s what we’ll take forward.  Trouble comes to us all.  Nobody has a life filled with only soft clover and honey. We’re going to have hard times, difficult challenges, disappointments, and sadness.  It’s the natural course of life and cannot be completely avoided.  But what we do when we have challenging times is up to us.  We can hold onto the pain, and become hard and mean, and live on turbulent seas.  Or we can walk through whatever comes and determine to heal in spite of it.  Whatever choice we make will be reflected in our actions and demeanor.

Although difficult times will come, sometimes we manufacture more problems from the way we deal, or don’t deal, with them.  If someone has hurt us, instead of seeing the issue as it is and determining to move forward anyway, we could hold onto the hurt and let it develop into anger, and feelings of revenge.  We could live our lives focused on getting back at the one who hurt us, and let the pain control us.  If we do, we may lose track of everything else and become bitter.  Bitterness will create more problems to deal with.  If we can keep our eyes on the goals we want for ourselves, and focus on who we really want to be, we can move past any pain or difficulty and retain our best attributes.  We can decide to cope with our troubles and find peace knowing we are doing the best we can.  We can impact others for good, we can be kind, and enhance the world and those around us.

Today if you’ve been angry because of something that’s happened, remember who you are.  You have a lot to offer and you deserve to be happy.  Set your sites on the goals you want for yourself and move forward with confidence.  Share the gifts you have with those around you.  Be an example of goodness and light, and you’ll have fair winds and following seas not just today, but every day going forward.

The Plague

28 Jan

There are times we may find ourselves in an uncomfortable situation with someone else. Perhaps angry words were said or exchanged, maybe somebody did something hurtful, or we simply cannot get along. People are complex and sometimes things don’t go as well as we’d like. Because it’s not pleasant and we don’t like the interaction, we may decide to avoid the other person as much as possible. If we see them coming down a hall we’re walking, we may take a sharp turn to get out of their sight. If they try to talk to us, we may mumble something and walk away, or if they send us messages or leave them on our phone, we may ignore or delete them. It’s painful to be near someone who’s hurt us, or with whom we can’t get along, and avoiding them seems like a good answer. Maybe we figure if we avoid them long enough they will eventually go away. That might work, but sometimes the exact opposite occurs and they try even harder to get our attention. The whole situation is uncomfortable, but we can get through it and we don’t have to avoid them like the plague to navigate the situation. We have other options.

If the other person is at our workplace and we don’t have the option to quit our jobs and must work with them, or if they’re in our social circle and we don’t want to give that up, we have to find a solution. If the situation is so intense that we feel physically ill at the thought of dealing with them, the first step is to understand why we feel so bad. Once we determine what is actually causing our pain we can find a way to address it. If we’ve been hurt by something that was said, we can understand that just because someone says something, even if they believe it, doesn’t make it true. We know who we are and those who know us will recognize falsehood when they hear it. If it’s something that was done, we can understand that nothing is permanent and any damage can be corrected. If we peel back the onion on our pain, and determine the root causes, we can address them and begin to heal.

Some people are disagreeable no matter what we do. Maybe they have bad attitudes, or are intensely moody and negative, or are continually angry. We can’t change anyone but ourselves and if we’re forced to deal with someone like that, we can choose to be true to who we are and do our best no matter what choices they make. If we are insulted, we may calmly state we don’t appreciate the comment, let it go, and move on. If they do something that offends us, we can bring it to their attention, explain why it was offensive and ask them not to do it again. It takes effort to think about a situation before we act, but when we do we’ll have better success at keeping our standards where we want them, and remaining positive. It’s never pleasant to be hurt or offended. It makes us feel bad, and we may doubt our worth for a moment. But we have all we need to hold our heads high, say what is needed when appropriate, and be who we are despite the difficulty. We can be cheerful in the face of calamity, and positive when others are disagreeable. There is nothing that is too hard for us. We can do anything we want even if it’s difficult.

Today if you’re dealing with someone who has hurt you, or insulted you, or made you feel less than you are, stand strong. Make the best choices possible. Say what is needed to feel confident. You are a priceless gift. If someone doesn’t recognize that, it’s their loss, not yours. Set the example for good. You are worth the very best of everything.

Big Left Turn

21 Dec

Unfortunately, even though we try not to, sometimes we make a terrible decision. We do something that hurts others and is so egregious our lives are greatly impacted. Sometimes what we’ve done impacts us or others so greatly, nothing is ever really the same afterward. We may not have done it on purpose, or we might have acted willingly if we were angry enough, but whether we meant to or not, once it’s done it can’t be undone. If we’ve made a big left turn and broken the road we’ve been on, our lives will change. If we’ve hurt those we care about we may feel the repercussions for a long time.  Sadly, sometimes a relationship we really cared about is so badly damaged it cannot be repaired. When this happens, once we realize the full impact of what we’ve done, we may feel great remorse. If we’re still angry we might not feel sorrow for a while, but it’s destined to come to us at some point. Since we can’t change the past all we can do is go forward. We have to do what we can to make things right, and forgive ourselves. The road may have changed dramatically and we may feel very unsettled until we figure out what to do next, but going forward is our only option.

There are lots of reasons why we make big mistakes, but in the end, the reasons really won’t matter. The only thing that matters is what we do next. If we’ve lost a valuable relationship we can try to rebuild it. If we are able to regain the trust of the other person, it’s possible we may restore it.  However, if the trust has been broken too severely, we may never have that relationship back. If there’s someone we really care about and we’ve lost them, our only option forward is to love them from afar and let them know we want them in our lives. Over time we all change. Wounds heal, and feelings mend. After enough time has passed it’s possible we’ll be able to start again.

Our lives are fluid and ever changing. What we do today often affects what comes to us tomorrow. The worst decisions are often made out of anger and haste, when we rush to an assumption or try to even a score. We may prevent bad decisions if we stop and give ourselves time to think before we act. We know we should, but in the heat of the moment, sometimes things get out of control. Being out of control never brings happiness and often brings heartache. If we can take some time to breathe and think before we jump, we may figure out a way forward that will not destroy our relationships or the path we want to be on. Only we can decide what we’ll do. We can make good decisions and we can choose wisely.  If we wait just for a moment, and consider where we’re going, oftentimes we’ll make a better and happier decision. Hard times come to us all but we can prevent them from becoming disastrous if we stop and think before we act.

Today if you’re feeling edgy and upset, if you’re angry and determined to get even or make someone pay for some slight you think they’ve caused, stop for a moment before you do anything. There is a lot at stake. Your relationships, your future happiness, and your personal peace are a big price to pay for anger. Don’t pay it. Take a breath. This is just a moment and it will pass. Give yourself some space. The right answer will come and you’ll be in control. Then make the best decision and you’ll go forward with confidence. You know what to do. Today choose the right and peace will follow.