Tag Archives: Malicious

Getting the Blessing

29 Oct

There are billions of people in the world and although we’ll never meet most of them, there are generally people around us most of the time. We build relationships with them of varying degrees, and when we’re close to them, what they do and say may have a big effect on us. If someone does something that really hurts us, destroys our trust, or in other ways breaks down our connection, we may suffer great pain and disappointment. They may refuse to acknowledge what they’ve done and instead expect us to simply let it go and move on. Unresolved conflict doesn’t just disappear because it’s inconvenient, and we may struggle to find the way forward. Carrying around past pain and suffering and holding onto serious disappointment will never help us move ahead, and may hold us down and keep us from achieving our goals. We may think forgiveness is out of the question, but sometimes the only way to set pain down and walk away is to forgive those who have hurt us and let it go. The gift of forgiveness is hard to give in situations where the transgressor is unrepentant, but the blessings aren’t for them. The blessings go to those who have forgiven them. People who hurt others rarely feel bad about what they’re doing, but those they hurt may suffer indefinitely until they decide to forgive. Forgiving doesn’t mean we must forget what’s happened. We can remember everything clearly and take what we learn from the experience forward with us. Anger and resentment take a lot of energy to sustain, and after we forgive someone, we can release any ill feelings, sustain every valuable bit of information, and walk away with confidence. Nobody is perfect and we all falter at some point. Learning to release any negative experience, forgive those involved, and take the lessons forward, will enable us to find great success and happiness moving forward.

Few things hurt more than a broken heart. It’s painful when a relationship we desire suddenly ends, but it’s worse if it ends because of lying or cheating. It’s hard to look past the pain of betrayal and find relief. We may be shocked when we get all the facts, and decide we’ll never, no matter what, ever forgive them. We can hold onto the pain for as long as we like, but every day we give up to spite or suffering is lost and cannot be restored. Our lives are important, and we have a lot to offer. We can look at the situation clearly and objectively, let go of the sorrow, move forward and start again.

If we’re enmeshed in a difficult situation fraught with despair and grief, we may be overwhelmed and unable to see anything but the pain we’re enduring. Some things are very hard to navigate, but no matter where we are or what’s happening, there will always be a way ahead. The sun will rise again in the morning, and there will be a light to guide us through. Nothing is too hard for us to face, or too challenging for us to resolve. We are powerful and strong, and will prevail.

Today if you’re suffering because of something someone has done, think about what’s most important. Let go of any anger, and trust yourself. You are amazing and worth more than you know. The whole world is enriched because you are here. Take a deep breath, look at all the options possible, and start again. Every success awaits, and you will make them yours.


Poison Ivy

24 Feb

There are a lot of nice people in the world. People who care, who are kind, and who share their lives with us in positive and helpful ways. But unfortunately, there are also people who choose a different path. There are some who are mean, cruel, even criminal, and if they come into our lives, they can have a very negative impact. We don’t always know their true colors at the beginning which leaves us open for disaster. It’s like taking a walk in the woods and not knowing what poison ivy looks like. We see a vine that’s green and vibrant, and have no idea when we touch it that its powerful affects will cause us pain and discomfort. It’s only after our exposure that we see the terrible result. If someone in our lives presents themselves as caring and kind but in truth is manipulative and cruel, and we share our lives with them, when we discover the truth we will be hurt. If it’s someone we must interact with because of circumstances beyond our control, and we are forced to see them because they are family members, coworkers, or neighbors, the discomfort may be intense. When someone hurts us because they’ve fooled us, lied to us, or manipulated us, it takes time to heal. If we have to continue to see them, it takes even longer.

Life is all about learning. We don’t know what we don’t know, and the only way to find out what we don’t know is to learn as we go. That means we may trust someone who is untrustworthy because we don’t have all the facts. People who set their hearts on deception don’t tell us before they deceive that is their plan. They keep it secret and if they are very practiced, may expertly manipulate us to achieve their goal, whatever that may be. We may figure the truth out quickly, or we may be involved with them for years before we see things as they really are. But sooner or later, when we find the truth it may be devastating. We may feel like fools. We may blame ourselves thinking we should have known and feel horrible. But the blame for deception lies solely with the deceiver. We have no ownership for their behavior. We trusted, which is noble and good, and extended ourselves as friends. It can be hard to forgive ourselves when we’ve fallen for a lie, but believing in others until we have a reason not to, is appropriate.

When we are trying hard to be the best we can, it’s difficult to understand someone who chooses to deceive or hurt us purposely. It’s hard to comprehend such maliciousness but we are not responsible for anyone’s choices but our own. We can decide how to respond. We can choose to be noble even if someone near us has been hateful. We can choose to stand up for what’s right, even if we’ve been stung by what is wrong. If we must interact with them going forward, we can still be our best. We are courageous and brave enough to be near them and choose the right. We can set the example for good even in the face of trouble. We are stronger than we think we are. We know what is right, and nothing, and nobody, can ever diminish that.

Today if you’ve been hurt by someone who purposely deceived you or manipulated you to get something they wanted, it isn’t your fault. You know more now than you did before, and that knowledge will help you going forward. You are worth the very best of everything. You can choose the right and take the higher road at every step. There is an old saying that the best revenge is living well. No matter what has happened, no matter who has hurt you, live well. You know who you are. Choose the very best path. There is nothing that will diminish you.