Tag Archives: Anger

Calm Waters

18 Jul

The weather can be unpredictable. When it’s calm and sunny we enjoy being outside, but things inevitably change and we will face times when storms rage and we need shelter. When the winds are blowing, or there is driving and unrelenting rain or snow, and it’s unsafe to be outside we will find refuge. There is great comfort being inside a sturdy structure that is tight and secure when the tempest is raging outside. We can relax knowing we are safe and no matter what happens we will be protected. In our lives, we may face tumultuous and difficult situations that rattle our security and make us tremulous. We may be in situations where although there is no physical danger, there is great emotional distress and we worry how we’ll get through. Life is complicated and there may be times when things happen that bring great disharmony into our lives. In the static and friction of the situation we may feel great anxiety and stress. But we have everything we need inside us to create a safe haven as we navigate through. No matter what is going on in the world or in our personal sphere, we can choose to have peace inside ourselves. There isn’t a problem that is too difficult for us to solve or a situation too intense for us to overcome. If we trust in ourselves and our ability to face whatever comes we will have the internal peace we need to find our way through. We can keep the waters inside still and calm even if there are storms raging around us. We are in control of ourselves and can manage anything carefully and effectively.

Some people are quick to anger. If things don’t go as planned or someone disagrees they become agitated and upset and may scream or rant to show their displeasure. It’s normal to vent when we feel upset but losing our temper and self-control will never get us what we want. We all face disappointments and nobody gets to have everything their way all the time. If our plans don’t work out we can find another way through. There is never only one way to do anything and our ability to be flexible and understanding when things go awry will help us find a solution and get to the destinations we seek.

Nobody wants things to go wrong. When we ‘re ready to move forward we never want an unexpected development to enter the picture and ruin our plans. But life is unpredictable and sometimes things happen and complications arise. Unexpected changes are just a time to revise our map going forward. We can be calm and find the way ahead and no matter what happens we will succeed. There isn’t anything we can’t do and with determination and calm we will accomplish every goal we desire.

Today if things are going wrong and it feels like there’s a tempest raging outside and you’re confused about what to do next, calm the waters inside and take the time you need to think. You know what needs to be done and you have everything you need to succeed. Have faith in yourself and trust in the way forward. Nothing is too far for you to reach. Every success is available to you and you will win.

Fair Winds

2 Apr

Everywhere we go and everything we do is changed because we were there.  With every touch, every conversation, and every interaction, we leave a part of us behind.  It’s easy to forget that as we go through each day moving from one task to another.  We’re all sharing the planet together, and even when we think we’re on our own and alone, others see us and hear us, and their lives are changed because we are here.  There is a well know nautical blessing of “Fair winds and following seas.”  To a sailor, fair winds mean an easy and productive day, and following seas push them closer to the safety of the shore.  We can create our own fair winds through our behavior, and when we do, the following seas are the trailing benefits of what we leave behind.  If we are rude and manipulative, or angry and crass, those are the impressions that will follow us.  But if we are kind and patient, pleasant and helpful, that’s what we’ll take forward.  Trouble comes to us all.  Nobody has a life filled with only soft clover and honey. We’re going to have hard times, difficult challenges, disappointments, and sadness.  It’s the natural course of life and cannot be completely avoided.  But what we do when we have challenging times is up to us.  We can hold onto the pain, and become hard and mean, and live on turbulent seas.  Or we can walk through whatever comes and determine to heal in spite of it.  Whatever choice we make will be reflected in our actions and demeanor.

Although difficult times will come, sometimes we manufacture more problems from the way we deal, or don’t deal, with them.  If someone has hurt us, instead of seeing the issue as it is and determining to move forward anyway, we could hold onto the hurt and let it develop into anger, and feelings of revenge.  We could live our lives focused on getting back at the one who hurt us, and let the pain control us.  If we do, we may lose track of everything else and become bitter.  Bitterness will create more problems to deal with.  If we can keep our eyes on the goals we want for ourselves, and focus on who we really want to be, we can move past any pain or difficulty and retain our best attributes.  We can decide to cope with our troubles and find peace knowing we are doing the best we can.  We can impact others for good, we can be kind, and enhance the world and those around us.

Today if you’ve been angry because of something that’s happened, remember who you are.  You have a lot to offer and you deserve to be happy.  Set your sites on the goals you want for yourself and move forward with confidence.  Share the gifts you have with those around you.  Be an example of goodness and light, and you’ll have fair winds and following seas not just today, but every day going forward.

The Plague

28 Jan

There are times we may find ourselves in an uncomfortable situation with someone else. Perhaps angry words were said or exchanged, maybe somebody did something hurtful, or we simply cannot get along. People are complex and sometimes things don’t go as well as we’d like. Because it’s not pleasant and we don’t like the interaction, we may decide to avoid the other person as much as possible. If we see them coming down a hall we’re walking, we may take a sharp turn to get out of their sight. If they try to talk to us, we may mumble something and walk away, or if they send us messages or leave them on our phone, we may ignore or delete them. It’s painful to be near someone who’s hurt us, or with whom we can’t get along, and avoiding them seems like a good answer. Maybe we figure if we avoid them long enough they will eventually go away. That might work, but sometimes the exact opposite occurs and they try even harder to get our attention. The whole situation is uncomfortable, but we can get through it and we don’t have to avoid them like the plague to navigate the situation. We have other options.

If the other person is at our workplace and we don’t have the option to quit our jobs and must work with them, or if they’re in our social circle and we don’t want to give that up, we have to find a solution. If the situation is so intense that we feel physically ill at the thought of dealing with them, the first step is to understand why we feel so bad. Once we determine what is actually causing our pain we can find a way to address it. If we’ve been hurt by something that was said, we can understand that just because someone says something, even if they believe it, doesn’t make it true. We know who we are and those who know us will recognize falsehood when they hear it. If it’s something that was done, we can understand that nothing is permanent and any damage can be corrected. If we peel back the onion on our pain, and determine the root causes, we can address them and begin to heal.

Some people are disagreeable no matter what we do. Maybe they have bad attitudes, or are intensely moody and negative, or are continually angry. We can’t change anyone but ourselves and if we’re forced to deal with someone like that, we can choose to be true to who we are and do our best no matter what choices they make. If we are insulted, we may calmly state we don’t appreciate the comment, let it go, and move on. If they do something that offends us, we can bring it to their attention, explain why it was offensive and ask them not to do it again. It takes effort to think about a situation before we act, but when we do we’ll have better success at keeping our standards where we want them, and remaining positive. It’s never pleasant to be hurt or offended. It makes us feel bad, and we may doubt our worth for a moment. But we have all we need to hold our heads high, say what is needed when appropriate, and be who we are despite the difficulty. We can be cheerful in the face of calamity, and positive when others are disagreeable. There is nothing that is too hard for us. We can do anything we want even if it’s difficult.

Today if you’re dealing with someone who has hurt you, or insulted you, or made you feel less than you are, stand strong. Make the best choices possible. Say what is needed to feel confident. You are a priceless gift. If someone doesn’t recognize that, it’s their loss, not yours. Set the example for good. You are worth the very best of everything.

Big Left Turn

21 Dec

Unfortunately, even though we try not to, sometimes we make a terrible decision. We do something that hurts others and is so egregious our lives are greatly impacted. Sometimes what we’ve done impacts us or others so greatly, nothing is ever really the same afterward. We may not have done it on purpose, or we might have acted willingly if we were angry enough, but whether we meant to or not, once it’s done it can’t be undone. If we’ve made a big left turn and broken the road we’ve been on, our lives will change. If we’ve hurt those we care about we may feel the repercussions for a long time.  Sadly, sometimes a relationship we really cared about is so badly damaged it cannot be repaired. When this happens, once we realize the full impact of what we’ve done, we may feel great remorse. If we’re still angry we might not feel sorrow for a while, but it’s destined to come to us at some point. Since we can’t change the past all we can do is go forward. We have to do what we can to make things right, and forgive ourselves. The road may have changed dramatically and we may feel very unsettled until we figure out what to do next, but going forward is our only option.

There are lots of reasons why we make big mistakes, but in the end, the reasons really won’t matter. The only thing that matters is what we do next. If we’ve lost a valuable relationship we can try to rebuild it. If we are able to regain the trust of the other person, it’s possible we may restore it.  However, if the trust has been broken too severely, we may never have that relationship back. If there’s someone we really care about and we’ve lost them, our only option forward is to love them from afar and let them know we want them in our lives. Over time we all change. Wounds heal, and feelings mend. After enough time has passed it’s possible we’ll be able to start again.

Our lives are fluid and ever changing. What we do today often affects what comes to us tomorrow. The worst decisions are often made out of anger and haste, when we rush to an assumption or try to even a score. We may prevent bad decisions if we stop and give ourselves time to think before we act. We know we should, but in the heat of the moment, sometimes things get out of control. Being out of control never brings happiness and often brings heartache. If we can take some time to breathe and think before we jump, we may figure out a way forward that will not destroy our relationships or the path we want to be on. Only we can decide what we’ll do. We can make good decisions and we can choose wisely.  If we wait just for a moment, and consider where we’re going, oftentimes we’ll make a better and happier decision. Hard times come to us all but we can prevent them from becoming disastrous if we stop and think before we act.

Today if you’re feeling edgy and upset, if you’re angry and determined to get even or make someone pay for some slight you think they’ve caused, stop for a moment before you do anything. There is a lot at stake. Your relationships, your future happiness, and your personal peace are a big price to pay for anger. Don’t pay it. Take a breath. This is just a moment and it will pass. Give yourself some space. The right answer will come and you’ll be in control. Then make the best decision and you’ll go forward with confidence. You know what to do. Today choose the right and peace will follow.