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Leaning In

26 Mar

We go through a lot of experiences every day as we navigate through our lives.  Some things bring us joy, some make us angry, some are boring and others may be intense or pass with little notice.  Our emotions and how we respond to them are part of what make us human and help others relate to us.  Some people are good at hiding their emotions and prefer not to let others see how they really feel.  Others wear their hearts on their sleeves and we can see everything they’re feeling most of the time.  Being open with our feelings helps us express ourselves and makes it easier for others to understand us.  But if our feelings are negative, or angry and intense, allowing them to color our interactions may make our lives more difficult and complicated.  It’s fine to share personal expressions but we must remember they may affect the message we are trying to portray.  When we are upset and angry and scream at those around us to make a point, the only thing we may accomplish is to push them away.  Trying to understand someone who is hysterical or acting irrationally out of anger is almost impossible.  We can express even intense disappointment in a better way.  If we want to make sure others grasp how important something is, it’s more effective to lower our voices than to raise them.  If we blast those around us with powerful loud voices, they will often step back.  But when our voice is quieter, people will lean in closer to hear what we have to say.  Being heard is important and even if we’re intensely upset we can control our emotions to allow that to happen.

The only way for a baby to express pain, hunger or unhappiness is to scream and cry.  But as we mature, if we want to be happy, we must learn self-control.  As adults, it will never work in our favor to stamp our feet and scream because we are unhappy.  There are no good answers to be found in bad behavior.  We can be in control of our emotions, even when they are intense, and express ourselves in ways that bring people closer and open the doors to the way forward.

Life will surely bring us happy times and difficult, sometimes complicated and extreme problems.  We don’t have to pretend to be happy when things are going wrong but we can control how we respond to every situation in order to bring the best results.  Jumping to hysteria and pushing the panic button every time something goes awry will never take us where we really want to go.  It’s exhausting and keeps us from thinking about our next step.  We have everything we need to understand any situation that comes to us.  If we take time to think instead of react we will find all the answers we need to find our way through.  We are strong and capable, and can live well and effectively.

Today if you’re furious over something and want to lash out at those around you, quiet your thoughts and allow yourself time to think.  You can control your emotions in ways that will bring you happiness and success.  Step back and then step forward.  There isn’t anything you can’t manage and succeed.  You are strong and amazing, and nothing is too difficult for you to overcome.

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