Tag Archives: Bridge

One Moment

29 Jul

Life is filled with unexpected situations. We never know what will happen next, and we may be surprised by something that suddenly challenges and tests us. There may be an uncomfortable ethical issue that arises out of nowhere and we have to choose between being completely honest or going along with something we don’t agree with. We may face a test of our strength as problem after problem arises and we’re underwater trying to find the way out. Nobody can read the future and no matter how hard we try to make excellent decisions, moments of difficulty will come. What we do when they show up will determine what happens as we move forward. If the issue is ethical and we fold because someone more powerful than us demands it, we may be very disappointed in ourselves and our lack of courage. If the road ahead gets very hard and we give up and let go of our goals because we don’t want to walk through the fire, we will never reach the destinations we most desire. One moment, one decision, can change the course or our lives but all is not lost. No matter what’s happened already or what we’ve done, we can go back and start again. We may not be able to recreate the exact situation or change the outcome of a bad decision, but we can amend our actions moving forward and ensure that what we’re doing matches who we really are. Life can be complicated and hard, and we’ll all face times of uncertainty and worry. But we are stronger and more powerful than we imagine, and are in control of everything we do. We don’t have to bend to bullying, and we don’t have to go along. We’re entitled to our own opinions and decisions, and with clarity and wisdom, will choose the right path.

Bad decisions can have serious consequences. If we do something that moves us forward but betrays our company or our associates, we may never be able to regain their trust. If we lie and cheat on a lover, we may lose the relationship. Everything we do brings some sort of result, and what that is depends on what we’ve done. If we only see ourselves and are only concerned with our own success, we may betray everyone in our path and walk over them to win. We can do anything we like, but our connections with others are important. If we pave the road ahead with deception and distrust, it will be impossible to build good relationships and alliances as we move ahead. We may believe we don’t need them, and maybe we don’t, but life has a way of looping around and we may find at some point the very bridge we need is one we’ve already burned.

Nobody is perfect and we’re all going to falter at some point. If we make a bad choice or choose the wrong road we may get stuck for a time as we try to figure out how to correct our course. Nothing is permanent and everything can be changed, but whatever we’ve done may color opportunities until we’re able to reset and rebuild. There is greatness in all of us. If we lose our way, we can find it again. If we make a wrong turn, we can stop and start over. Nothing is out of reach if we’re willing to do what is necessary to make it ours. Every single goal is possible and we can reach them all.

Today remember that mistakes never define who we are. If you’re on the wrong road, you can turn around and begin again. No matter what’s happened, every success is still possible. Think about what you really want, trust yourself and start again. You are wise and capable, and nothing is too far away or too difficult for you to reach. Be strong and step forward. Every blessing awaits, and you will claim them all.

Collateral Damage

20 Dec

Everyone has their own plans about their lives and what they want to accomplish.  As we interact with one another there may be some tug and pull moving forward.  When we were young we were taught not to push or cut in line in an effort to get to the end more quickly.  Although we may think we learned that lesson well, when there is something we really want and others are in the way, we may justify pushing them aside or jumping ahead of them in order to get there.  If we don’t care what happens we may run over them or bully our way through.  Some people believe the ends justify any means necessary and if that means hurting someone else, so be it.  Every time we hurt someone serving ourselves we may be burning a bridge.  Perhaps we don’t think we’ll ever return so it doesn’t matter how many we burn pushing ahead.  But life has a way of looping back around to where we’ve been and if we must come back it’ll be harder to find success if we’ve eradicated the connections necessary to allow it.  No matter what our goals are or what time frame we’ve set to accomplish them, it is far better to work with those around us than against them.  We can find successful ways to incorporate others if they are in our way and allow them to help us move forward.  Bringing those around us into the plan will allow us to build strong connections that will help us through and be there in the future.  We can do anything on our own but sharing the journey with others will make the trip more interesting and may take us to the destination more quickly.  Collateral damage isn’t a requirement for success.  We can build bridges instead of burning them, and move forward together.

Someone near us may be very ambitious and determined in their desires.  If they want something we have they may simply take it instead of asking for it.  If we must interact with them we may feel great frustration or anger as they act out in discriminatory ways.  We don’t have to allow others to treat us badly.  We can speak up and set boundaries that bring us confidence.  We deserve respect and consideration, and we may demand it.  The world doesn’t belong to anyone.  We all have a part to play, and we can own what is ours and define what we need.

We may be a situation where someone hurts us deeply as they push forward to get what they want.  Maybe they destroy a tender relationship we have with someone else, sabotage us at work, or cast aspersions on our character.  It’s painful to go through such betrayal and it may be hard to get back up after being knocked down.  But we have all the courage and strength we need to face anything that comes, and with grace and patience can continue forward despite any efforts to stop us.  Success is always there.  There is nothing and no one powerful enough to hold us down.

Today if you’ve been brushed aside or demeaned by someone pushing their way ahead, step out of the way and let them pass.  You can move forward on your own road without interference and find success.  Trust in your abilities and strength.  You have everything you need to be happy and reach any destination you desire.  Be confident.  Everything is there for you and nothing will keep you from it.

Burning Bridges

16 May

Bridges are great when you need to cross over to get somewhere else. We can’t drive through the river, but we can drive across the bridge over the river to get to our destination. Our relationships with others are like bridges too. We need the people in our lives to make the connections that take us where we want to go, help us get to our goals, and bring us happiness. Sometimes those connections are personal, sometimes they are professional, and sometimes they are emotional. Without our personal bridges, we stand alone.

I had a friend several years ago who had a great job. He liked what he was doing but got involved in a romantic relationship with one of the founders of the company. Things didn’t work out, and their relationship ended badly. After that, he said nothing he did was ever good enough, and then one day during a big meeting, he lost his temper, said some horrible things to her and the others in the room, and walked out, never to return. Afterward he regretted what had happened, and I asked him if there was any way to repair the situation. He said, “Nope. I’ve burned that bridge.”

As we navigate our lives, there will surely be times when others will hurt us, and damage our relationships with them. They do things we can’t accept, or they say things we can’t forget. Sometimes we decide the damage is too great, and we decide to end all contact with them. We are too hurt to allow them to stay in our lives. So, we burn that bridge. We cast it up in flames, say goodbye, and decide we’ll never come back.

But life is funny. As we go forward, we may find ourselves looping back around to where we were despite our best efforts. Our jobs change, and suddenly that person you severed all ties with becomes your co-worker, or worse yet, your boss. Or you move to a new location, you start over, and then you see that person who hurt you so badly is your new neighbor. What will you do now?

Burning bridges is a dangerous game. We never know where our lives will take us. We cannot read the future. We don’t know what developments lay ahead. It’s possible that the bridge you’ve burned will return to your life in a way that you’ll need to re-establish the connection. And if you’ve really turned away, it may be hard to reconnect. People come and go out of our lives all the time. It seems wiser then, instead of burning a bridge, to simply take a step back away from it.

Today if you face a situation where someone has crossed a line you cannot tolerate, where someone has gone too far, and you feel like extricating them completely from your life from here forward, you may want to burn that bridge. You may want to tell them off, tell them you are done, and tell them never, ever, ever to come near you again. Before you do that though, take a moment and think carefully. Perhaps the better choice is just to keep your distance from them for a time. Just walk away for a while. You don’t want them in your life as they are now, and you need space from them. But don’t burn the bridge – they may change, your lives will certainly change, and you never know what the future will bring. Leave the door open a little for now. Then if they return back into your life, you can decide how far you will let them in. And the bridge to allow that will still be there. Burning bridges is a dangerous game. Be careful how you play it.