Three Seconds

7 Jun

Think about the immense nature of time. When we think of how long the universe has been in existence, how long the earth has been here, and we ponder eternity, it’s hard to grasp. Eternity – a concept where time always was, and always will be. Forever both ways is difficult to understand. We have finite minds, and things with beginnings and endings make sense to us. Thinking about things that continue forever is almost impossible to comprehend. And if we ponder time overall, we understand how enormous it is. When we compare that to our lives, we realize that the period of time we spend on earth is really but a moment. Even if our lives are long, they are but a snapshot when compared to the everlasting nature of time itself.

Think of our time here as three seconds. We have three seconds to live this life, make all our decisions, and try to learn as much as we can. Three seconds. It goes by fast. It goes by faster when we’re busy, and we’re all busy. But even as it races by, we have the chance to make an impact. We can change the world in small ways. But we can only do that if we pay attention, and don’t put things off.

Small choices every day have the potential to create big changes. If we want to create those changes, we must be aware of who we are, and learn to share what we can with those around us. If we take the time to notice others, and do our part to impact their lives for good, we can initiate great change. We can move mountains. We are all connected in more ways than we realize. We are all here together.

One way to effect change is to be kind. Kindness has incredible power to make the world better. Lives can be changed through small acts of kindness. Extending the hand of friendship to someone who is lonely, listening to someone who is suffering, helping someone who is lost find their way – all can change the world for good. Just saying hello to someone as you pass them has the ability to lift spirits. We don’t have to win a Nobel prize, we don’t have to climb Mt. Everest, and we don’t have to invent something that revolutionizes the world. If we’re just kind every day to those around us, we can have an enormous impact for good. Others will notice, and some will follow our example. Then, some of those they touch will do the same, and the impact of one small act of kindness will create an expansive ripple effect for good.

We don’t all have big lives. We aren’t all rulers, kings, and leaders. But we all have the ability to change the world. We have three seconds. Use them to be kind. Use them to be caring. Today, use them for good. Make an impact. You have the power to change the world. Use that power today.

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Interesting and Important

6 Jun

A very wise man once told me, “In our lives, some things are interesting, and other things are important.” A simple statement, but over the course of time I have pondered it again, and again. There are certainly a lot of interesting things in life. Our world is diverse, and there are new things to learn every single day. We have the continual opportunity to embrace new ideas, learn about different places, experience fun and interesting events, and do something new. There is more to see, and do than we could ever complete in one lifetime.

And there are things in our lives that are important. The most important things tend to be intangible. We may want to work on being more patient, show more compassion, be stronger in our convictions, help others more, be kinder – whatever they are, they are very important goals that deserve our attention. Because they are intangible, the reminders to do them can be illusive. There is no alarm clock going off to remind us to be kind today. It must come from within us.

Of course, there are important tangible things as well – the mundane chores that must be done so we can get along effectively, the attention to our families, our relationships, and our jobs, the maintenance issues we all deal with, and a thousand other things. All of these tangible things are important, and must be tended to.

It seems logical then, that our important tasks should take priority over other interesting endeavors. But, sometimes the interesting things take precedence. We get pulled away, we get distracted, and what is most important to us gets pushed back. After a while we realize we haven’t accomplished what we’d hoped. We got our necessary tasks done, but we were so busy with all the interesting things around us, we didn’t work on our personal goals at all. We were just too busy. It happens, and if we don’t plan carefully, it will happen regularly.

If we get carried away with the interesting things in our lives, and forget the important things we really want to accomplish, we may get lost. Living comfortably is often about order. If we can address what is most important to us first, and then move on to what is interesting afterward, we’ll probably be more comfortable. We’ll be more confident knowing that we accomplished what we wanted to do most. When we take care of the things that are most important to us, we have more peace in our lives.

Today, if you have something important that you really want to do, make it a priority. There will probably be interruptions, and something truly interesting and fun may come up. But finish the important task first, work on your personal goals, and make time for what means most to you. Plan your days this way, and you’ll have more control over your direction, and more fun in your pleasures. It’s all about order. Plan to succeed. Do your first things first. Then relax, confident that no matter what else comes today, you’ve accomplished what was most important.

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Turning It Around

5 Jun

Sometimes we have bad days. They just happen. We’ve all experienced them, and when they come around it’s a pain to navigate them. There are days when it seems that from the moment we get out of bed in the morning, everything goes wrong. We trip over something trying to get dressed, we spill something on our clothes before we leave home, we can’t find the car keys, the car won’t start, there’s a school bus in front of us taking FOREVER and we’re running late – you get the picture. We’ve all had days like this. When they come we may want to just forget it, go back home, and get back into bed. Nothing is going right so what’s the point of going forward?

Even on awkward, difficult days like these, there are things that go right. They can be hard to see amid what’s going wrong, but there are some good things happening. Let’s start with the basics – we’re still breathing, and that’s good. We still probably have some friends, and that’s good. There is probably food when we’re hungry – always a good thing. And despite how it feels, we probably will survive the day. The chances of two really bad days in a row are slim. Tomorrow will come, and this day will be just a memory. We just have to get through this one.

When things go awry, especially if we have the added stress of commitments we must make, time schedules we must keep, and appointments we can’t miss, we may feel beset, overwhelmed, and frustrated. All of those emotions may show in our behavior, and be visible on our faces. We may become impatient, irritated and short with others. We may gripe, and complain. But we can turn things around. If we want to, we can change our attitudes, and despite all the annoyances, we can still be positive.

The fastest way to fix a negative feeling is to smile. Just smile. Sounds strange, but the act of smiling will lift our spirits. Even if we don’t feel like smiling, just doing it will make us feel better. Not a fake smile, but a real dazzler. We can think of something we love, and just let it bring joy to our faces. And if we smile at someone else, and they return one back to us, we’ll feel even better. If we keep that going, pretty soon, despite the things that are confounding us, our attitudes will improve, and we will turn that bad day around. Things may falter and continue to annoy, but we’ll take them as they come, and we’ll be fine.

Today if things are going wrong, if you’re sure the universe has turned against you, if it seems that nothing is working, take a breath and smile. Just smile. Smile at yourself in a mirror. Smile at those around you. You don’t have to say anything – just make your face happy. You’ll be amazed at how much better you’ll feel, and when we feel better, everything changes. You have so much to offer. Don’t let the small calamities lock you down. Look up. Be happy. It’s just a day, and no matter what comes, you can make it great.

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The Boomerang Effect

4 Jun

Isaac Newton’s third law of physics says that for every action, there is an equal or opposite reaction. Since we are part of the physical world, this applies to us. Whatever we send out, will return back an equal or opposite response. We act, and then others react in some way. Often people return back to us the same sort of behaviors we give to them. Sometimes we get an opposite return, but often our actions are mirrored in others’ responses to us. No matter which way it goes, we will get a reaction of some sort. The question is – will it be the reaction we were hoping for?

Not only do others react to what we do, but we react to our own actions as well. For instance, say we don’t sleep well and when it’s time to get up, we feel tired and cranky. We don’t put our best foot forward during the day because we feel off. We are short with those around us, and don’t go out of our way to be helpful. We keep to ourselves, and mope. At the end of the day will we feel happier or more out of sorts because of these choices? What reaction will we have to our own actions?

And the same is true in our relationships with others. If we treat them with care and concern, chances are the returning reactions will be positive. However, if we neglect them or abuse them, the response will probably be much different. If we are rude and mean to those we encounter, they may respond the same way back to us. But if we are polite and gracious, the very same people will often react more positively. Everything we do, everything we say, elicits a response. When those responses bounce back to us, how will they look? A lot depends on what we sent out to begin with.

Newton was clear – for every action there will be an equal or opposite reaction. Today if you’re not getting the reactions you want, before you start analyzing why people aren’t responding the way you had hoped, first look at your initial actions. Do you need to modify them to get the response you want in return? If you’re getting the opposite of what you want, it may be time to change what you’re sending out. It may be time to revise your behavior. Like in volleyball, before you send the ball over, you want to make sure your serve will get the best bounce back. Otherwise, you might get a spike you weren’t planning on. And nobody wants that.

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What do you want?

3 Jun

When we are children, we do what our parents want us to do. They teach us, and guide us as best they can. When we’re older and we’re off to college or jobs, we do what our professors or bosses want us to do. We do our assignments to get the grades we want, or we follow the company rules so we can fit in and keep our jobs. We learn that in order to succeed we need to become compliant, and cooperative, and we do what we’re told. As we mature we begin to understand that although we comply to certain things, we are the ones who really control our lives. Our parents do their part, our professors and bosses do their parts, but in the end our decisions are ultimately ours to make.

There will always be people with opinions about how we should live our lives. They will often give us advice even if we don’t ask for it. And their opinions are important – to them. But they need not be the guiding force for us. We are the only ones actually living our lives, so it follows that we should be the only ones making decisions about them. Sure, we can ask for and take good advice when we want to. Sure we can listen when others tell us what they think. But in the end, we own the decisions we make. And the irony is, we own our decisions even if we don’t do what we want to, but choose to do what others tell us to do. It’s still on us.

It is neither appropriate nor truthful to tell someone they made us do something, unless of course, a gun was involved. Since that doesn’t usually happen, if we choose to do what someone else has decided for us, it’s our decision. If we choose not to do what they suggest, it’s our decision. And so, there is no way to excuse a bad decision by blaming others. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule, and sometimes we can make bad decisions because we weren’t given all the facts, or someone lied. But in most cases, when we make bad decisions, we have to own them. And the good news is when we make good decisions, we own them too.

If we choose what’s right for us, we will find happiness. If we choose what’s wrong for us, we may find despair. Either way, we get to pick. The most important thing when making a decision is to decide what we really want. What do we want to do? Not what do we think we should do, or what would be easiest to do, but what do we want to do? That sounds simple but it’s surprising how difficult it can be sometimes. If we want to make good decisions, we must determine what it is we want first.

Today if you’re struggling with a decision, first decide what you want most. What do you want from this decision? How do you want things to look on the other side? Once you determine that, it will be easier to understand. Keep it simple. Look at it objectively. Be bold. Make a decision and go forward. You probably already know what you want to do. Now go do it.

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