Tag Archives: Confidence


28 Sep

There are opposites in everything – black and white, good and evil, right and wrong. Whatever opinions or beliefs we hold, someone, somewhere will have an opposing view. Endless ideas and interpretations are everywhere and if we haven’t decided which way we’re going, we may be pulled in countless directions. We can listen to all the views around us and when we’re ready, decide what is best and how we want to proceed. Everyone is different and we will undoubtedly face times when our views clash with those around us. If everyone else is singing one song and we’re on another page, we will likely face conflict. We’re all entitled to our own beliefs and decisions, but that doesn’t mean the power of the group won’t come into play. It’s far easier to get to the goals desired if everyone agrees. When there is dissent, it can make the road a lot rockier. In an effort to make things easier for those around us, we may be pressured to go along and asked to conform with something we disagree with. Of course, we can do anything we like and if we want to acquiesce we can, but our ideas are important and we are entitled to express them any way we like. We never have to follow anyone else if we want something different. We can be polite and still be steadfast in our decisions. Our lives are ours to design, and we may live them any way we choose. We don’t need agreement or permission to choose our own way forward. By trusting ourselves, and being confident, we can step ahead on the roads we desire most, and find great success.

Some people are very loud and forceful. They believe their ideas are best and may press us to do things their way. Being loud may open some doors, but certainly doesn’t equate to having power over us. We can do what we like, even if it’s different from everyone else. There are countless roads to every destination, and we can choose the ones we’ll travel. Our dreams are ours alone. We can take control, choose our own direction, and move toward any destination we desire.

Group think squashes creativity and removes individual responsibility. Nobody makes their own decisions, and nobody gets blamed when things go wrong. Nothing could be more damaging to personal growth. It’s good to have friends and build connections, but we can connect with others and keep our own autonomy. We are all unique and have special, individual gifts nobody else can offer. By honoring our personal differences, and stepping forward according to our own specific desires, we will bring great depth and blessing to the world around us.

Today if you’re being pressured to align yourself with others, remember your contribution is important. Trust yourself and follow your own road. You have so much to offer and bring gifts nobody else can give. Be steadfast and confident. You are amazing and powerful. Your light brings great joy and we’re all blessed because you are here.


Uncharted and Unknown

2 Apr

Life is filled with change and opportunity.  Each day brings us something new to discover and navigate.  Often we take these experiences in stride and continue on without much thought, but sometimes our lives turn dramatically and we may find ourselves in uncharted territory.  Maybe our job changes suddenly, or an unexpected death impacts us, or a close relationship ends without warning.  There are countless things that happen every day and sometimes they move us away from where we are into the unknown.  When what was familiar and expected no longer exists we may feel like the world has turned upside down and struggle to find the way forward.  We may feel frozen in time as we try to comprehend where we are and what to do next.  It’s uncomfortable when the road we were on disappears and it can be hard to decide which way to turn.  There are countless ways forward but deciding which one to choose may take some time.  We don’t need to rush forward all at once.  We can take a moment to see all the options before us, evaluate where we want to go and then decide how to get there.  There isn’t anything we can’t do and we can move forward with confidence we will find our way.  Nothing is permanent and if our first choice doesn’t work, we can choose again.  There are limitless possibilities before us and as we move forward we will gain strength and knowledge to help us reach our destination.  Life is all about change and nobody knows what will come.  But whatever happens, no matter how great the impact on our lives, we have everything we need to find our way.  We are stronger than we realize and nothing can hold us down.

Our personal relationships are important and if they change suddenly we may feel disoriented.  Breakups happen and even if we want them, can be difficult to manage.  If someone we love suddenly leaves us it may be extremely hard to get through and take a long time before we are able to let it go.  But every breakup brings with it the opportunity to start again.  When we’re ready we can chart a new course.  Life is filled with opportunity and even when we’re unsure, those opportunities are there for us.  Every road is possible and we will find success.

Death is the one experience we all share.  Nobody knows when their time on earth will end.  When someone close to us dies suddenly we may struggle feeling unsettled and unsure.  Everything may feel foreign as we try to navigate through all the changes.  Even when we aren’t sure, we can be trust in our ability to find the way forward.  We are strong and capable and even in the unknown we can find our way.  There will always be another step forward.  We can be confident that no difficulty will last forever.  Happiness will return and we will prevail.

Today if you feel like you’re suddenly in foreign territory and aren’t sure of the way forward, trust yourself.  You’ve navigated strange roads before and found success.  You are strong and wise and will find your way.  There isn’t anything you can’t manage.  Every step forward will take you closer to happiness.  Be confident.  You will prevail.

In For A Penny

22 Jul

Throughout our lives things come up, and we are asked to help out or assist in some way.  When possible we may agree, and offer our service.  Sometimes the tasks are easy and quick, and we are happy to help.  But other times, complications come up that make it harder for us to stick with our commitment.  For instance, say you have a friend who needs help moving furniture.  You agree to assist but when the day set apart for the move arrives, a huge storm rolls in, and it’s pouring rain.  Your friend tells you the move must happen that day, and you dread the chore.  It’s going to be much harder to do in the storm, and you would rather let someone else do it.  These situations come up routinely.  What at first can seem like a simple task sometimes turns into something more.  And when that happens, we have to decide if we’re in, or we’re out.  Even if we gave our word that we’d be there, we may be tempted to back out.

There is an old saying, “In for a penny, in for a pound.”  If we commit to something, we need to be committed all the way.  If we’ve said we would help when the task was easy, we need to stay if the task gets hard.  Commitment is easy for some of us, and harder for others.  But when we say we’ll be there, we need to be there.  We’re either in all the way, or we’re out.  There really is no middle ground.  So before we commit to anything, it would be wise to weigh all the possibilities to ensure we can follow through no matter what.

We’ve all had experiences with people letting us down.  Sometimes they say they’ll be there, but then don’t show up.  It’s disappointing when it happens, and definitely affects the relationship in a negative way.  There is great value in being dependable, and sticking with our decisions.  Of course, there will certainly be times when we say we’ll help thinking it’ll be easy, and then things happen making it more difficult.  What we do then defines our commitment.  Are we in no matter what?  Or do we back out when things go wrong?  It is noble, and right to stay the course.  Remember, who we are, isn’t what we say.  Who we are is what we do.

Today if you’ve made a commitment, and the situation has gotten difficult and complicated, stick with it.  Stay the course.  Be there.  Your friends and family will learn to rely on you, and trust you to follow through.  They’ll know that no matter what you’ll keep your word.  The trust of those we care about is invaluable.  It’s priceless.  Earn it.  Follow through.  Staying true will bring you satisfaction and confidence.  You will never regret making that choice.

Hit It Again

9 Jul

Have you ever had a time in your life when you were trying to make something work that just would not? Have you ever tried, and tried to push something through, something you were so sure would work, but it just wouldn’t go? Sometimes despite everything we believe, everything we do, and everything we try, sometimes things just don’t work out. It isn’t a question of intellect. It isn’t a question of determination. It’s a question of fit.

This life is filled with twists and turns, ideas, plans, and changes. We can attempt to do anything we want to. Sometimes we get an idea that seems good, but when we put it into action it just doesn’t work out. I have a friend who always wanted to live in a certain state. He was sure he would be happy there, he had read about it, thought about it, and made what he believed was a good decision to move there. But once he arrived, nothing worked out. He was stunned to learn upon arrival that because of changes in the economy, the job he had lined up had been eliminated. Although disappointed, he wasn’t too worried thinking he could find something else quickly. He had some savings, and decided to remain. However, with no income, he had to choose an apartment in a difficult location, but thinking it was only temporary he decided he could deal with that. Despite his extensive education and experience he wasn’t able to find a position right away. He got a couple of part time jobs, but they weren’t enough, and he watched as his savings dwindled to nothing. Still, he was determined to live there so he pressed forward. He pushed and pushed, trying so hard to make the decision fit, but nothing worked. After a couple of awful years, he decided he didn’t want to continue, and began looking for positions in other locations. He got an offer for a terrific job in a different state, and moved. He was disappointed with how things turned out but sometimes no matter how we plan ahead, no matter how sure we are, sometimes the plan fails. Sometimes it’s just not the right fit for us.

When this happens, it’s like trying to shove a square peg into a round hole. We push it, we hammer it, we think if we just hit it again it’ll work, but it just doesn’t fit. We need to regroup, realign, and find a square hole, which might be right next to the round one we’ve been working so hard on. Life is unpredictable. We try to make good decisions, and often we do. But sometimes we don’t know the whole story until after the decision is made. And when we finally get the whole story, we realize the decision won’t work. We can feel like failures when that happens. Why didn’t we see it? Why didn’t we know? But we haven’t really failed. We just got more information that clarified the situation for us. It may be painful, but getting the information is the most important part. And once we have it, we can start over. We can adjust the plan, and begin again.

Today if you feel you’re in the wrong place at the wrong time, and nothing is working, look at the whole picture. Are you trying to make something work that doesn’t fit you? If you are, change your direction. What do you need to do to find your place? How can you adjust things so you are happy again? Take some time to think about it, and then, make the change. Be confident. You’ll figure this out, and you’ll fix it. You deserve to be happy, and feel like your life fits. Today do what’s needed to make that happen.

Not That Bad

30 Jun

I have a group of friends that I do things with socially. Sometimes we all get together, sometimes just a few of us can get away, but we generally enjoy each other, and have fun. As a group we’ve determined that our adventures will have a certain level of decorum, and we try to stick to that. There is one among us though who isn’t in full agreement about this, and pushes the limits from time to time. When he brings his outlying suggestions to the group he always says the same thing, “It’s not that bad.” He knows he will be outnumbered if we keep to our original decision, but that never stops him from trying again.

We all have decisions to make about what we will, and what we won’t participate in. My standards will be different from yours. Everyone gets to decide where their lines are, and how far they are willing to go in every endeavor. For some there are no limits, and everything is fair game. For others, the boundaries are very close, and defined. We have to choose what works for us, and where we are comfortable. Maybe your group is fine going to strip clubs on Friday night to hang out. Maybe not. We choose what we want, and we need to make sure it’s where we’re comfortable.

Once we’ve decided where our limits are, if we aren’t interested in changing them, we can communicate them to those we interact with. Sometimes our friends may try to push us into situations that make us uncomfortable, and when that happens we can certainly say no. We don’t have to go along if we don’t want to. On the other hand, if we feel open to new ideas, expanding those boundaries may open up new experiences that will embellish our lives. But we should ensure they are in keeping with our personal standards. For instance, say you have a friend who has no problem with lying, and that makes you uncomfortable. Whenever you go out with them they lie about the check, or about a ticket, or something regarding an event. You may decide to excuse yourself from activities involving them. You don’t have to be uncomfortable, and you don’t have to compromise your standards. People may say, “It’s not that bad,” but your standards are yours, and they are worth keeping.

Today if you feel you are being pressured into doing something you don’t feel comfortable with, you may say no. You may politely decline the invitation. You are entitled to do things that make you feel comfortable, and confident. You don’t have to compromise your standards or decisions. You are in control of your life. You may manage it any way that works best for you. After all, nobody knows what’s best for you better than you do. Just because someone else thinks, “It’s not that bad,” doesn’t mean you have to go along. Today do it your way. Be confident. You know what’s best.