Tag Archives: Confidence

Uncharted and Unknown

2 Apr

Life is filled with change and opportunity.  Each day brings us something new to discover and navigate.  Often we take these experiences in stride and continue on without much thought, but sometimes our lives turn dramatically and we may find ourselves in uncharted territory.  Maybe our job changes suddenly, or an unexpected death impacts us, or a close relationship ends without warning.  There are countless things that happen every day and sometimes they move us away from where we are into the unknown.  When what was familiar and expected no longer exists we may feel like the world has turned upside down and struggle to find the way forward.  We may feel frozen in time as we try to comprehend where we are and what to do next.  It’s uncomfortable when the road we were on disappears and it can be hard to decide which way to turn.  There are countless ways forward but deciding which one to choose may take some time.  We don’t need to rush forward all at once.  We can take a moment to see all the options before us, evaluate where we want to go and then decide how to get there.  There isn’t anything we can’t do and we can move forward with confidence we will find our way.  Nothing is permanent and if our first choice doesn’t work, we can choose again.  There are limitless possibilities before us and as we move forward we will gain strength and knowledge to help us reach our destination.  Life is all about change and nobody knows what will come.  But whatever happens, no matter how great the impact on our lives, we have everything we need to find our way.  We are stronger than we realize and nothing can hold us down.

Our personal relationships are important and if they change suddenly we may feel disoriented.  Breakups happen and even if we want them, can be difficult to manage.  If someone we love suddenly leaves us it may be extremely hard to get through and take a long time before we are able to let it go.  But every breakup brings with it the opportunity to start again.  When we’re ready we can chart a new course.  Life is filled with opportunity and even when we’re unsure, those opportunities are there for us.  Every road is possible and we will find success.

Death is the one experience we all share.  Nobody knows when their time on earth will end.  When someone close to us dies suddenly we may struggle feeling unsettled and unsure.  Everything may feel foreign as we try to navigate through all the changes.  Even when we aren’t sure, we can be trust in our ability to find the way forward.  We are strong and capable and even in the unknown we can find our way.  There will always be another step forward.  We can be confident that no difficulty will last forever.  Happiness will return and we will prevail.

Today if you feel like you’re suddenly in foreign territory and aren’t sure of the way forward, trust yourself.  You’ve navigated strange roads before and found success.  You are strong and wise and will find your way.  There isn’t anything you can’t manage.  Every step forward will take you closer to happiness.  Be confident.  You will prevail.

In For A Penny

22 Jul

Throughout our lives things come up, and we are asked to help out or assist in some way.  When possible we may agree, and offer our service.  Sometimes the tasks are easy and quick, and we are happy to help.  But other times, complications come up that make it harder for us to stick with our commitment.  For instance, say you have a friend who needs help moving furniture.  You agree to assist but when the day set apart for the move arrives, a huge storm rolls in, and it’s pouring rain.  Your friend tells you the move must happen that day, and you dread the chore.  It’s going to be much harder to do in the storm, and you would rather let someone else do it.  These situations come up routinely.  What at first can seem like a simple task sometimes turns into something more.  And when that happens, we have to decide if we’re in, or we’re out.  Even if we gave our word that we’d be there, we may be tempted to back out.

There is an old saying, “In for a penny, in for a pound.”  If we commit to something, we need to be committed all the way.  If we’ve said we would help when the task was easy, we need to stay if the task gets hard.  Commitment is easy for some of us, and harder for others.  But when we say we’ll be there, we need to be there.  We’re either in all the way, or we’re out.  There really is no middle ground.  So before we commit to anything, it would be wise to weigh all the possibilities to ensure we can follow through no matter what.

We’ve all had experiences with people letting us down.  Sometimes they say they’ll be there, but then don’t show up.  It’s disappointing when it happens, and definitely affects the relationship in a negative way.  There is great value in being dependable, and sticking with our decisions.  Of course, there will certainly be times when we say we’ll help thinking it’ll be easy, and then things happen making it more difficult.  What we do then defines our commitment.  Are we in no matter what?  Or do we back out when things go wrong?  It is noble, and right to stay the course.  Remember, who we are, isn’t what we say.  Who we are is what we do.

Today if you’ve made a commitment, and the situation has gotten difficult and complicated, stick with it.  Stay the course.  Be there.  Your friends and family will learn to rely on you, and trust you to follow through.  They’ll know that no matter what you’ll keep your word.  The trust of those we care about is invaluable.  It’s priceless.  Earn it.  Follow through.  Staying true will bring you satisfaction and confidence.  You will never regret making that choice.

Hit It Again

9 Jul

Have you ever had a time in your life when you were trying to make something work that just would not? Have you ever tried, and tried to push something through, something you were so sure would work, but it just wouldn’t go? Sometimes despite everything we believe, everything we do, and everything we try, sometimes things just don’t work out. It isn’t a question of intellect. It isn’t a question of determination. It’s a question of fit.

This life is filled with twists and turns, ideas, plans, and changes. We can attempt to do anything we want to. Sometimes we get an idea that seems good, but when we put it into action it just doesn’t work out. I have a friend who always wanted to live in a certain state. He was sure he would be happy there, he had read about it, thought about it, and made what he believed was a good decision to move there. But once he arrived, nothing worked out. He was stunned to learn upon arrival that because of changes in the economy, the job he had lined up had been eliminated. Although disappointed, he wasn’t too worried thinking he could find something else quickly. He had some savings, and decided to remain. However, with no income, he had to choose an apartment in a difficult location, but thinking it was only temporary he decided he could deal with that. Despite his extensive education and experience he wasn’t able to find a position right away. He got a couple of part time jobs, but they weren’t enough, and he watched as his savings dwindled to nothing. Still, he was determined to live there so he pressed forward. He pushed and pushed, trying so hard to make the decision fit, but nothing worked. After a couple of awful years, he decided he didn’t want to continue, and began looking for positions in other locations. He got an offer for a terrific job in a different state, and moved. He was disappointed with how things turned out but sometimes no matter how we plan ahead, no matter how sure we are, sometimes the plan fails. Sometimes it’s just not the right fit for us.

When this happens, it’s like trying to shove a square peg into a round hole. We push it, we hammer it, we think if we just hit it again it’ll work, but it just doesn’t fit. We need to regroup, realign, and find a square hole, which might be right next to the round one we’ve been working so hard on. Life is unpredictable. We try to make good decisions, and often we do. But sometimes we don’t know the whole story until after the decision is made. And when we finally get the whole story, we realize the decision won’t work. We can feel like failures when that happens. Why didn’t we see it? Why didn’t we know? But we haven’t really failed. We just got more information that clarified the situation for us. It may be painful, but getting the information is the most important part. And once we have it, we can start over. We can adjust the plan, and begin again.

Today if you feel you’re in the wrong place at the wrong time, and nothing is working, look at the whole picture. Are you trying to make something work that doesn’t fit you? If you are, change your direction. What do you need to do to find your place? How can you adjust things so you are happy again? Take some time to think about it, and then, make the change. Be confident. You’ll figure this out, and you’ll fix it. You deserve to be happy, and feel like your life fits. Today do what’s needed to make that happen.

Not That Bad

30 Jun

I have a group of friends that I do things with socially. Sometimes we all get together, sometimes just a few of us can get away, but we generally enjoy each other, and have fun. As a group we’ve determined that our adventures will have a certain level of decorum, and we try to stick to that. There is one among us though who isn’t in full agreement about this, and pushes the limits from time to time. When he brings his outlying suggestions to the group he always says the same thing, “It’s not that bad.” He knows he will be outnumbered if we keep to our original decision, but that never stops him from trying again.

We all have decisions to make about what we will, and what we won’t participate in. My standards will be different from yours. Everyone gets to decide where their lines are, and how far they are willing to go in every endeavor. For some there are no limits, and everything is fair game. For others, the boundaries are very close, and defined. We have to choose what works for us, and where we are comfortable. Maybe your group is fine going to strip clubs on Friday night to hang out. Maybe not. We choose what we want, and we need to make sure it’s where we’re comfortable.

Once we’ve decided where our limits are, if we aren’t interested in changing them, we can communicate them to those we interact with. Sometimes our friends may try to push us into situations that make us uncomfortable, and when that happens we can certainly say no. We don’t have to go along if we don’t want to. On the other hand, if we feel open to new ideas, expanding those boundaries may open up new experiences that will embellish our lives. But we should ensure they are in keeping with our personal standards. For instance, say you have a friend who has no problem with lying, and that makes you uncomfortable. Whenever you go out with them they lie about the check, or about a ticket, or something regarding an event. You may decide to excuse yourself from activities involving them. You don’t have to be uncomfortable, and you don’t have to compromise your standards. People may say, “It’s not that bad,” but your standards are yours, and they are worth keeping.

Today if you feel you are being pressured into doing something you don’t feel comfortable with, you may say no. You may politely decline the invitation. You are entitled to do things that make you feel comfortable, and confident. You don’t have to compromise your standards or decisions. You are in control of your life. You may manage it any way that works best for you. After all, nobody knows what’s best for you better than you do. Just because someone else thinks, “It’s not that bad,” doesn’t mean you have to go along. Today do it your way. Be confident. You know what’s best.

Turning It Around

5 Jun

Sometimes we have bad days. They just happen. We’ve all experienced them, and when they come around it’s a pain to navigate them. There are days when it seems that from the moment we get out of bed in the morning, everything goes wrong. We trip over something trying to get dressed, we spill something on our clothes before we leave home, we can’t find the car keys, the car won’t start, there’s a school bus in front of us taking FOREVER and we’re running late – you get the picture. We’ve all had days like this. When they come we may want to just forget it, go back home, and get back into bed. Nothing is going right so what’s the point of going forward?

Even on awkward, difficult days like these, there are things that go right. They can be hard to see amid what’s going wrong, but there are some good things happening. Let’s start with the basics – we’re still breathing, and that’s good. We still probably have some friends, and that’s good. There is probably food when we’re hungry – always a good thing. And despite how it feels, we probably will survive the day. The chances of two really bad days in a row are slim. Tomorrow will come, and this day will be just a memory. We just have to get through this one.

When things go awry, especially if we have the added stress of commitments we must make, time schedules we must keep, and appointments we can’t miss, we may feel beset, overwhelmed, and frustrated. All of those emotions may show in our behavior, and be visible on our faces. We may become impatient, irritated and short with others. We may gripe, and complain. But we can turn things around. If we want to, we can change our attitudes, and despite all the annoyances, we can still be positive.

The fastest way to fix a negative feeling is to smile. Just smile. Sounds strange, but the act of smiling will lift our spirits. Even if we don’t feel like smiling, just doing it will make us feel better. Not a fake smile, but a real dazzler. We can think of something we love, and just let it bring joy to our faces. And if we smile at someone else, and they return one back to us, we’ll feel even better. If we keep that going, pretty soon, despite the things that are confounding us, our attitudes will improve, and we will turn that bad day around. Things may falter and continue to annoy, but we’ll take them as they come, and we’ll be fine.

Today if things are going wrong, if you’re sure the universe has turned against you, if it seems that nothing is working, take a breath and smile. Just smile. Smile at yourself in a mirror. Smile at those around you. You don’t have to say anything – just make your face happy. You’ll be amazed at how much better you’ll feel, and when we feel better, everything changes. You have so much to offer. Don’t let the small calamities lock you down. Look up. Be happy. It’s just a day, and no matter what comes, you can make it great.