Tag Archives: Standards

Filtering Connections

4 Apr

“Well, that face, but with better headlights. You know how hers have kind of dimmed lately? Heidi Klums beams would do. And her teeth. Or, ooh, that Britney Spears girl. She’s got great knockers. But she’s a tad muscular. Uh, actually, you know what? Her ass would do, too, if she had a better grille. Like, uh, Michelle Pfeiffer back when she did “Grease 2”. But she’d have to be a little smilier than Michelle. Kinda like Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, before she got Stamosed. But not as skinny. Someone a little meatier, like Heidi. But without the accent. You know those accents: yah-yah-yah-yah. They really get old fast. You know what I mean. Someone like that.”   Shallow Hal

There are all kinds of people in the world and limitless opportunities for us explore. When we’re open to trying new things, and letting new people into our lives our experiences become broad and far reaching and we learn a lot. Differences are what make us unique and create a depth to our lives that sameness could never offer. If we keep our focus narrow and require that each experience be pre-qualified by a set of parameters we’ve determined, the roads we travel will be narrow and unyielding. Personal restrictions may filter important experiences with others from our lives. Narrowing our scope of opportunity prevents us from having full and rich interactions and our growth forward may be stunted. We may decide what’s comfortable but if we have so many filters that must be met before we can open a door, we may find ourselves locked inside a world that is small and uninspired.

There is nothing wrong with setting high standards for the things we want to do or the people with whom we affiliate. We may decide how we live our lives and who we spend our time with. But differences bring richness and allowing new ideas and situations to come forward helps us understand the world. There are countless interpretations of life and endless ideas and opinions, each offering a new way to see things. If we can reach beyond our pre-determined ideas of what is best and open up to something new our lives will be enriched and our understanding will widen.

We may require countless things to happen before we move forward and each one filters something out we may experience. We can do anything we want to do and being open to new ideas and events will deepen our understanding and enrich our lives. We don’t need pre-requisites and filters for everything. We can let things happen as they will, allow different expressions, and open our eyes to new and diverse ways of seeing things. There is a lot to experience in life. Being receptive to new interpretations gives us the richest and most rewarding return as we navigate forward. There are endless new things to try, people to meet and doors to open. We can be welcoming to new experiences and accepting of differences as we live each day.

Today if you’ve been filtering your experiences with ideas about how things should be, open the playing field a little wider. Welcome new ideas and you’ll be amazed at what you’ll learn. Your life will become richer and deeper. There are endless new things to see and learn and do. Broaden your vision and see everything available to you. Let the filters go and open all the doors. You’ll have a greater experience as you move forward.

Report Card

28 Mar

No matter where we live or who we are, there may be others around us who have ideas about how we should be living our lives. Maybe they think we should work in certain fields, or marry, or stay single, or live with the family, or a million other variations. There can be great pressure to conform if we are surrounded by others who have done things a certain way for a long time. Our lives belong to us, and we get to choose what we do. But the judgment of others may come into play. If we want to please those we love and they have strong ideas about our lives, we may go along.  And we can go along any time we choose to. But if we aren’t living genuinely and expressing who we are, we won’t find true happiness and satisfaction. The report card others have for us may be important to them, but it doesn’t mean it has to be important to us. We can set our own standards and make our own choices. It may not be easy to break a trend, but we are wise enough to know what we really want, and brave enough to get it. The only report card we need to be concerned with is the one we set for ourselves. It doesn’t matter if everyone around us wants to do things a certain way. If it doesn’t fit who we are, we may choose another road.

Some people don’t like it when others are different. They feel more comfortable when everybody looks the same, and does the same things. It may feel more secure knowing what each day will bring and how things are likely to go. In situations like that, if we try to do something different we may be judged or criticized in an effort to bring us in line with everyone else. It’s not comfortable to be judged by others, and if it’s strong enough we may try to conform. But conforming to get along will only work for a short time. Who we are will eventually need to come out or we’ll never be happy. We can do things our way, and express our differences in an appropriate manner that is respectful. We don’t have to conform. We can choose to be who we really are and if judgments come, we can navigate them.

There is no one right way to live a life. There is no perfect model, and there are countless ways to live well. There are some who believe their model is the only one that works or counts, but that’s never true. Every life that is lived genuinely and honestly is lived well. We can live in the country or the city, in a house or an apartment, with others or alone.  As long as it’s the life we choose, it’s right for us. And when we live the life that’s right for us we will find true happiness. This life is a gift. Every single day is precious and we deserve to be happy. If others want to grade us and judge us, and aren’t in agreement with our choices – it will be their burden to carry. We can be fine just being ourselves. We can set our own standards, and live according to our own dictates. We were created to be exactly who we are. When we embrace that, we will find true happiness.

Today if you feel like you’ve been trying to fit a mold that isn’t you, remember who you are is perfect. You are exactly the person you need to be. Show us your genuine and honest self. You have so much to offer. Share it with the world and we’ll love you just as you are.

Not That Bad

30 Jun

I have a group of friends that I do things with socially. Sometimes we all get together, sometimes just a few of us can get away, but we generally enjoy each other, and have fun. As a group we’ve determined that our adventures will have a certain level of decorum, and we try to stick to that. There is one among us though who isn’t in full agreement about this, and pushes the limits from time to time. When he brings his outlying suggestions to the group he always says the same thing, “It’s not that bad.” He knows he will be outnumbered if we keep to our original decision, but that never stops him from trying again.

We all have decisions to make about what we will, and what we won’t participate in. My standards will be different from yours. Everyone gets to decide where their lines are, and how far they are willing to go in every endeavor. For some there are no limits, and everything is fair game. For others, the boundaries are very close, and defined. We have to choose what works for us, and where we are comfortable. Maybe your group is fine going to strip clubs on Friday night to hang out. Maybe not. We choose what we want, and we need to make sure it’s where we’re comfortable.

Once we’ve decided where our limits are, if we aren’t interested in changing them, we can communicate them to those we interact with. Sometimes our friends may try to push us into situations that make us uncomfortable, and when that happens we can certainly say no. We don’t have to go along if we don’t want to. On the other hand, if we feel open to new ideas, expanding those boundaries may open up new experiences that will embellish our lives. But we should ensure they are in keeping with our personal standards. For instance, say you have a friend who has no problem with lying, and that makes you uncomfortable. Whenever you go out with them they lie about the check, or about a ticket, or something regarding an event. You may decide to excuse yourself from activities involving them. You don’t have to be uncomfortable, and you don’t have to compromise your standards. People may say, “It’s not that bad,” but your standards are yours, and they are worth keeping.

Today if you feel you are being pressured into doing something you don’t feel comfortable with, you may say no. You may politely decline the invitation. You are entitled to do things that make you feel comfortable, and confident. You don’t have to compromise your standards or decisions. You are in control of your life. You may manage it any way that works best for you. After all, nobody knows what’s best for you better than you do. Just because someone else thinks, “It’s not that bad,” doesn’t mean you have to go along. Today do it your way. Be confident. You know what’s best.