Tag Archives: Want

Star of the Show

13 Feb

When we’re watching movies, there are often a lot of people on the screen and many things going on. There is a lot of sensory stimulation with the music, the script, and scene movement. If it’s an action movie it can be hard to catch everything that’s happening. But no matter what’s going on or how many different characters there are, our attention is focused on the star of the show. There is always one main character who carries the story. Our lives aren’t movies but there are lots of things going on all the time and many people coming and going every minute, and we are the star of the show. We are the most important person even when we’re focused on others and what we’re going through is captivating. We can be selfless and help those around us and address all the scenarios and situations that come, but in the end if we aren’t taking care of ourselves we won’t be as effective as we could be. The first person who needs our attention is us. If we don’t meet our personal needs, we won’t be able to care for anyone else. Most of us will not get “star treatment” from others as we go through our lives, but we can give it to ourselves and make sure we have everything we need to be healthy and strong. We are the stars of our own lives, and we deserve to take the best care of ourselves we possibly can. If we do, we will have all the strength and wisdom we need to help others and be an asset to the world around us.

When we fly on planes and go through the safety drill before the flight, the flight attendants always explain that if oxygen is needed, we must put our masks on first and then help those around us. We must make sure we are able to help by taking care of our needs first. That’s true in our personal lives as well. No matter what we’re going through or what trials we’re facing, we need to figuratively make sure our masks are securely fastened and we’re getting the oxygen we need before we attempt to assist those around us. We must be first on our list to ensure we have everything we need before we extend ourselves.

It is noble and valiant to serve others. It’s good to sacrifice our time to help when we’re asked and be available to those who need us. Living a life focused solely on our own personal needs and wants and discounting those around us will not bring us long term satisfaction or happiness. There is much gratification to be gained by extending ourselves and being helpful. But helping others requires personal strength and courage. We must build up our own personal energy before we can share it. We can be kind and helpful and still take the time we need to care for ourselves. We are the most important person in our lives and when we remember to give ourselves everything we need first, we will have enough to serve others.

Today if you’ve been neglecting what you need to be strong and happy, take some time for yourself. You deserve the very best of everything and you can get it. Remember how important you are. We all need you in our lives and want what’s best for you. Give that to yourself today and you’ll find happiness and peace and have the strength you need.

Friend Request

10 Feb

A friend is a great thing to have.  They are someone who will rejoice with us when things go well and be in our corner supporting us when they don’t.  A true friend will stand by us through the trials and challenges we face, give us advice, listen when we need to vent, and have our backs when we need them.  It’s wonderful to have them in our lives.  We value them, we love them and we count on them.  But sometimes maybe someone we thought was a friend does something that makes us see them in a new light.  Perhaps they choose something they know will hurt us, or act in ways that are demeaning or critical.  We may always re-evaluate our relationships with them, and if we choose to, may go forward without them.  Being a friend is a wonderful gift but it carries with it the great responsibility of respecting the relationship.  If that responsibility is neglected we may lose.  Losing a friend is disappointing, sometimes heartbreaking, but if our trust in them is broken we may have to continue on without them.  We may step back from any relationship we need to.  We deserve to be happy and if our situation changes and brings us sorrow, we may change our way forward.

Sometimes there may be people who want to be our friends with whom we aren’t comfortable.  Perhaps their lives are very different from ours and we don’t understand them.  Maybe we have seen them hurt others or act dishonestly.  Or maybe they aren’t genuine and often seem to be pretending to be something they aren’t.  There are lots of reasons we may feel uncomfortable around others and if we do, we are not required to allow them close into our lives.  We may be polite and kind, and still walk another way.  There are all kinds of people in the world.  We will relate to some of them and others will remain strangers.  We can choose whom to allow into our lives and how much we will share.  Having friends is a great asset and we can make sure those relationships will bring us happiness.

We all have free agency and can make any decisions we like.  If we aren’t careful or don’t care, we may make choices that break relationships and ruin our friendships.  It’s painful to lose the friendship of someone we’ve shared our lives with but if we’ve chosen something that has hurt them and broken their trust that may happen.  We may try to explain our position in an effort to repair the situation but if the damage is too great it may not be possible to continue forward as their friend.  Every decision we make has consequences which may be far reaching or even destructive.  We know how to make excellent decisions and if we are mindful and careful we will be able to preserve our relationships and find great joy having them in our lives.

Today if you’ve lost a good friend because of something that has happened, determine what is best for you and go forward with confidence.  If you’ve done something that has hurt a relationship with someone you care about, do what you can to repair the loss.  We all want true, honorable friends.  Be honest and caring, and those around you will draw close to you.  Be the friend you most want in your life and you will find happiness.

What do you want?

3 Jun

When we are children, we do what our parents want us to do. They teach us, and guide us as best they can. When we’re older and we’re off to college or jobs, we do what our professors or bosses want us to do. We do our assignments to get the grades we want, or we follow the company rules so we can fit in and keep our jobs. We learn that in order to succeed we need to become compliant, and cooperative, and we do what we’re told. As we mature we begin to understand that although we comply to certain things, we are the ones who really control our lives. Our parents do their part, our professors and bosses do their parts, but in the end our decisions are ultimately ours to make.

There will always be people with opinions about how we should live our lives. They will often give us advice even if we don’t ask for it. And their opinions are important – to them. But they need not be the guiding force for us. We are the only ones actually living our lives, so it follows that we should be the only ones making decisions about them. Sure, we can ask for and take good advice when we want to. Sure we can listen when others tell us what they think. But in the end, we own the decisions we make. And the irony is, we own our decisions even if we don’t do what we want to, but choose to do what others tell us to do. It’s still on us.

It is neither appropriate nor truthful to tell someone they made us do something, unless of course, a gun was involved. Since that doesn’t usually happen, if we choose to do what someone else has decided for us, it’s our decision. If we choose not to do what they suggest, it’s our decision. And so, there is no way to excuse a bad decision by blaming others. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule, and sometimes we can make bad decisions because we weren’t given all the facts, or someone lied. But in most cases, when we make bad decisions, we have to own them. And the good news is when we make good decisions, we own them too.

If we choose what’s right for us, we will find happiness. If we choose what’s wrong for us, we may find despair. Either way, we get to pick. The most important thing when making a decision is to decide what we really want. What do we want to do? Not what do we think we should do, or what would be easiest to do, but what do we want to do? That sounds simple but it’s surprising how difficult it can be sometimes. If we want to make good decisions, we must determine what it is we want first.

Today if you’re struggling with a decision, first decide what you want most. What do you want from this decision? How do you want things to look on the other side? Once you determine that, it will be easier to understand. Keep it simple. Look at it objectively. Be bold. Make a decision and go forward. You probably already know what you want to do. Now go do it.