Listen to Me

25 Jul

We know what’s best for us and what we want to do with our lives.  We know where we want to go and what we want to achieve.  Because we are effective in managing our own lives, sometimes we may think we can help others manage theirs.  Maybe we see them making the same mistake over and over again, and decide to give them advice we think will help.  Sometimes we may really have the answers for someone else’s problems, but that doesn’t mean we can tell them what to do.  If we care for them we can certainly offer our help and give them advice that may assist them.  But once we’ve done that it’s up to them to follow it or not.  They might listen to us or they may ignore the advice.  Their decisions belong to them and even if the counsel we’ve offered is helpful, they may choose their own way.  It can be frustrating to see someone we care about stumble when we’re trying to help them but their decisions are theirs to make.  We can’t make them listen to us.  They have the right to choose.  The best we can do is offer our sincerest advice and then let it go.

We can’t possibly know everything about anyone but ourselves and have only an external view of other people’s lives. We can see what they are doing and if they share confidences with us we may have some insight into how they’re feeling.  But we will never know the entire story.  We can’t know their private desires or intentions.  All we can see is what’s on the outside and we can only give advice based on that.  If they want to listen to us they may, but their lives belong to them and every decision they make is their responsibility.  They will make them based on their personal choices and not someone else’s.  Although we may want to help, in the end the choice is theirs.  We are all certainly smart enough to figure out what’s best for us and even if we falter and make a mistake, we can find our way again.

When we put pressure on others to comply with a suggestion we’ve made and it’s something they don’t want to do, they may feel worried and concerned about telling us they don’t want to do what we’re asking.  If we’re very close to them they may be concerned about how a refusal will affect the relationship and how we will respond.  But if they have other ideas about their life and feel confident about them they can clearly decline any suggestion.  We may not appreciate their refusal to go along but we can respect them for standing up for their decisions.  We own our own lives and can manage them and design them any way we want to.  We can do things our way with confidence and grace, and face whatever comes.  If we falter, we will correct our course.  We can give advice and when we get it we may take it or decline it.  The choice is ours.

Today if you feel compelled to tell someone else how they should move forward or how they should do something, you may offer your advice.  You may give sound reasons for why you believe this is the right way for them to go.  Give your suggestions and then let them choose.  They will hear you and appreciate your concern but they must choose for themselves.  Honor that and support them as you move forward.

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Breaking in Two

21 Jul

We all go through many experiences in our lives. Some are wonderful and the happy memories stay with us forever. Everyone wants happiness and joy in their lives and we strive for it each day. But trouble comes to us all and sometimes serious disappointments or losses come and we feel as though our hearts are broken. We may feel great sadness and despair as we try to find our way through a very hard time and there may be moments when we feel so bad it’s hard to breathe. We may believe we’ll never overcome the sorrow, we’ll never find our way back into the light, and we’ll never be happy again. When we’re brokenhearted and feel lost it’s hard to see anything but what we’re going through. We need time to grieve and adjust to whatever changes have come. How much time we need is different for every situation. Healing has its own schedule and we don’t need to rush it. We can take time to recover and day by day regain our confidence again. There isn’t anything too strong or difficult for us to face but when we’re in the depths of sorrow that may be hard to see. But if we have faith and hold on, each moment will bring healing and comfort, and in time we’ll be happy again.

Nobody has a perfect life. There are ups and downs in every situation and we have little control over what comes to us. Even if we try hard to limit the possibility of problems, they will come. We are forging our own way, a road nobody else has traveled and there will be unexpected twists and turns as we go. We may trust in someone or a situation that lets us down. We may believe in something that isn’t true, and we may want something badly we cannot have. If we push hard for something we want and can’t achieve it no matter what we do, the disappointment may rattle our confidence. If we are intensely involved with others who let us down, we may feel deeply wounded and afraid to trust again. If we are seriously betrayed by a loved one, we may feel broken and lost. Severe setbacks can make us doubt our worth and our capabilities. We may believe we can’t survive and will never get through them.

No matter what comes to us, no matter how hard it is to face or how difficult it is to navigate, there is nothing – nothing – too difficult for us to get through. We are smart enough to figure out even the most complex problems, and we are strong enough to endure any struggle. When we’re broken and disheartened we can remember that and move forward. We may shed a thousand tears, have many sleepless nights, and feel desperately sad. But we will survive. And we will conquer even the hardest of challenges. We have everything we need to overcome anything that comes to us. Each day will bring us more courage as we move forward and in time we’ll find ourselves on a new road with sunshine and light. There isn’t anything we can’t do. We are capable of greatness and nothing can stop us.

Today if you’re facing heartbreak over something that has hurt you deeply, remember you are strong and there isn’t anything too difficult for you to manage. You have great courage and you will be successful no matter what you’re facing. You can do anything. Have faith. You will overcome.

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Fault Lines

20 Jul

As we go through our lives and make decisions, sometimes we take a wrong turn and make choices that don’t work out.  We might make decisions that take us somewhere we don’t want to go or bring us hardship.  If we are heavily influenced to make a decision and we agree to it and it doesn’t work out we may blame the person who pressured us to comply.  We may say it’s their fault we are miserable.  While it’s true others may strongly influence us and their pressure may be great, if we decide to go along with their request the decision is ultimately ours.  The choice belongs to us and the results of that choice are also ours.  We own them.  We may say we were forced to do something we really didn’t want to do and there may have been great pressure to comply but the choice we make is ours.  There is no way to push the consequences of our decisions onto others.  We may be angry we complied and we may be unhappy with what has happened, but we own the decision.  Of course, those who pressured us have their part to answer for but we direct our own lives and what we choose is our responsibility.

Blaming can be a dangerous game.  If we make it a habit of blaming others or situations for our decisions we may successfully push the attention onto them but it will never change the truth.  If we don’t accept our role in our decisions and say it’s someone or something else’s fault, we can’t learn from the experience.  If we don’t learn from what has happened, we may repeat the whole process again.  The old adage that those who don’t learn from the past are destined to repeat it is true.  If we can’t accept our responsibility for a bad decision we can’t learn the lessons that may keep us from making the same choice again.  Nobody wants a life going from one disaster to the next but if we don’t learn from our choices that may be our experience.

Making mistakes is a natural part of life.  We don’t know everything and we don’t know what we don’t know.  We sometimes blunder through with half the information we need to make a good decision and sometimes we are blinded by promises that are half true.  If we falter and choose something that brings hardship or disappointment and take the time to see where we made the wrong turn it can help us prevent doing it again in the future.  There is great benefit in going through hard lessons and if we are wise we will take the time to learn as much as we can as we navigate them.  Many times we make excellent decisions that take us where we want to go.  We often choose well and are happy with our choices.  We can be confident that if we make a wrong turn we will be able to right our course and go forward with courage.

Today if you’ve made a wrong turn and chosen something that has brought you disappointment or hardship, accept your decision and move forward.  Learn all you can from the experience and be confident.  You are wise and able to choose well.  A setback will not stop you.  Turn your course and continue again.  You will find great success.

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Sitting Tight

19 Jul

There are times in our lives when we wait for something to happen. Maybe it’s something as simple as waiting on a train or a cab or a bus. Or maybe it’s something more complicated like waiting for a change to happen for something we really want. Waiting for a bus is easy. We can read, chat with those around us, enjoy our surroundings while we wait, or spend the time thinking. But waiting for important changes to occur can be more difficult. If we’re waiting for someone to change their mind, or for our lives to move from one situation to another, or for something important to happen, the wait can be interminable. Sometimes we wait because there is nothing we can do to move things forward and we are dependent on the actions of others. Other times we may sit tight in a situation simply because we haven’t yet figured out what to do next. If we aren’t sure how to take the next steps we may wait and see if things will change on their own and move us through. That rarely happens and if we wait for a situation to move us forward without doing it ourselves, the wait may be long or even endless. We can sit and wait for as long as we want but doing nothing will not change our circumstance. If we want the change we’re waiting for to happen, it’s often up to us to do what’s needed. Instead of waiting for things to change on their own, we can pro-actively move our lives in any direction we choose.

When we’re waiting we have no control over the situation. We have no way to direct our progress or move forward. Waiting keeps us where we are until something else happens. Because we are dependent on an action outside ourselves we have no power to determine when the needed development will occur. But we do have power over ourselves and we can decide when the wait will end. If we want to, we can take control and change our personal situation to move things forward on our own. We can determine to set our plans in place and take the next step. We need not wait any longer than we are comfortable for something else to happen first. When we’re ready, whether the anticipated change or development has happened or not, we can move ahead.

Sometimes because of our relationships we may feel we need to wait. Perhaps someone depends on us to stay where we are or keep things the same. Everyone has their own desires and expectations about their lives and if we’re involved in them they may have influence over our choices. We can keep our commitments to those around us and still control our own lives. If we need to change something and move in a different direction, we can. We can be kind and gracious and still make decisions that direct our lives the way we want them to go. It’s up to us how we’ll move forward. Having control over our decisions is appropriate and important. We know what’s best for us and we need not wait for others to approve of our choices or embrace them. We don’t have to wait for anything. We can move forward whenever we’re ready.

Today if you feel like you’ve been waiting for something to happen so you can move forward, take the first step on your own. You know what you want to do and where you want to go. You have everything you need to get there. You don’t have to wait. You can start today. Take the first step.

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Tough Nut

18 Jul

Sometimes when we have difficult things we have to do or when a situation becomes hard to handle, we often feel we’re having a bad time.  Difficult problems can be hard to solve and we may struggle to find answers but it doesn’t always mean it’s a bad experience.  Hard times don’t always mean bad times.  Untangling complicated developments and figuring out unexpected problems may take us off the path we want to be on but that’s not always a bad thing.  We learn a lot as we tackle new situations and everything we learn can be beneficial to us in some way.  If we look at these situations more positively we may find our way through them more easily.  We are capable of managing any problem or complication that comes to us.  We know in the beginning we’ll eventually solve the issue no matter how hard it is, and in the end we will be successful.  If we focus on that instead of the annoyance of going through the issue we will benefit more from the experience and feel better as we push through.

Some problems are very complicated and take time to find answers to.  In many cases, it doesn’t matter how long it takes us to solve them and we can take all the time we need.  We can ponder them, think about the outcomes we want and work them step by step.  At each point as we try to crack the nut, we learn something valuable.  Everything we learn we take with us going forward.  If we have a complex issue that requires going through a lot of steps to find the answers, we grow with each step we take.  Once the problem is solved, all the knowledge we’ve gained getting through it will be valuable and will help us in the future.  Tough nuts may be hard to crack but with determination and faith we will always break through.

It’s a common expression to see difficulty unfavorably and we all want to avoid trouble.  But hard or difficult situations aren’t necessarily bad.  When things are running smoothly our lives seem less worrisome and easier to manage.  But nothing runs smoothly all the time.  There will be regular snags, bumps, detours, problems, and complications.  It’s the nature of life.  Learning to see these experiences merely as enhancements that teach us and not roadblocks that stop us in our tracks will help us gain more as we navigate through them.  There is no problem too difficult for us to solve and no situation too complicated for us to figure out.  We can remember that and see our difficulties for what they are – complications in the process.   If we do, we’ll be more confident moving forward.

Today if you are facing something difficult and you feel it’s a bad situation that’s greater than you can handle, take a more objective look at it.  It’s just a complication along the way.  You will solve it and you will find your way through.  You have everything you need to succeed and you’ll learn more as you go.  You’ll solve the problem no matter what it is.  Be confident.  There isn’t anything you can’t do.

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