Tag Archives: Refuse

The Highway

19 Jun

We all have our own ideas and opinions about how things are and how they should go. We are each unique and our lives are colored and influenced by the experiences we have and the people with whom we interact. Although our own personal interpretations may be diametrically opposed to someone else’s, it doesn’t necessarily mean one is right and the other is wrong. There are many roads to travel and no one perfect way to live life. If we’re strong willed and think our ideas are the only correct way to proceed, we may struggle to get along with others who think differently. If we believe the old adage that “it’s my way or the highway,” we may have trouble understanding others and our personal relationships may suffer. One way of doing things is just that – one way. It will never be the only way to get things done and if we’re not open to hearing other opinions, we may have to travel it alone. We may feel some ideas are not acceptable, repugnant, or completely insane, when in reality they are only different. We can design our lives any way we want but that’s where our control ends. We can’t expect others to follow our example or pattern their choices after ours. Everyone gets to choose for themselves. They may choose roads we would never consider, adopt beliefs we cannot understand, or go in the opposite direction we choose, despite our efforts to convince them otherwise. There is unlimited variety in human expression and we’re all entitled to our very own version. Our lives belong to us and we can live them any way we choose. We can be confident in our own personal views and still respect and honor differences in others.

When we’re convinced we have the right answers and know the best way forward, we may want others to listen to us and follow along. If they don’t agree with us and refuse to adopt our beliefs or plans, we could ridicule and belittle them, call them names, and disparage them to others in an effort to bring them in line. But putting others down will never convince anyone to follow us. It will only damage our credibility and may make it harder to find alliances in the future. We can state our position positively, and then allow others to make their own decisions. We can respect differences and build partnerships going forward.

Being committed to our personal choices need not make us intolerant of the decisions of others. Every road has benefits and challenges, and there are endless options possible for every choice. We can decide what we want and how we want to move forward regardless of what others are doing. The roads we choose are ours to travel and each decision we make reflects our personal desires and ambitions. Life is filled with possibilities and we may embrace any path we want to get to any destination. It’s all up to us and us alone to design our lives and accomplish the goals we desire.

Today remember your personal choices are important and belong solely to you. Hold them close and respect the choices of others. You are wise and capable, and able to accept differences of opinions with grace and dignity. You are such a blessing to us all. Set the example for good, and step forward with confidence.

In All the Way

6 May

As we choose our goals and decide where we want to go, we evaluate many different options. Some things might seem like what we want when we first think about them but after we see exactly where they’ll lead, how much work they’ll take or what the end result will be, we may change our minds. There are unlimited things we can do and endless places to go. It’s up to us to choose what we want and how we’ll proceed. Once we decide, we can begin moving toward the goal and press forward until we achieve it. We can do anything we want, but it’s unlikely we’ll go anywhere if we aren’t completely committed. Deciding to do half of what’s required or only moving ahead when everything is easy may keep us from reaching any goal. If we’re only somewhat interested in moving forward, we’ll only be somewhat successful. True success is only achieved when we’re focused on the goal and determined to reach it. We can’t be in only part of the way and expect success. Few roads are without problems and detours, and when issues arise that complicate our plans, if we aren’t committed to reaching the goal, we may turn away and decide not to continue. There will always be plenty of reasons to quit. We can always change our minds at any time, but if we want to reach a goal and gain the prize, we must be determined no matter what happens we’ll continue moving forward. Every destination is possible but we’ll only reach them if we refuse to stop pressing ahead. The road may get rough, the skies may get cloudy and we may miss a turn or two, but if we want the goal, nothing can keep us from it. Our lives belong to us and reflect every decision we make. We can do anything we desire and have the lives we dream about, if we’re willing to do what it takes to reach success.

Nothing in life is perfect. When we want something and are working toward it, something is bound to get in the way. We may have some false starts and rewrites, have to change direction a time or two, and the road may be longer than we thought it would be. Things may get complicated and difficult, and we may get lost trying to push ahead. Lots of issues may arise and we may get frustrated and overwhelmed but as long as we continue to step forward, we’ll get closer to the goal. It doesn’t matter how much effort it takes. Nothing can keep us from our destination if we’re determined to prevail.

Sometimes the road ahead is far more difficult than we imagined. There is no defined time table for success, and life is always changing. If we can’t manage the goal at this time, we can set it aside until our circumstances improve and we can start again. Every goal is possible and when we’re ready and the time is right, we can achieve anything we desire. We can have the lives we dream about and find every success.

Today if you’re thinking about a change, decide what you really want to do and take the first step. You can achieve anything you desire. You are smart enough and strong enough to find your way to any destination. Dream big and then make your dreams come true. You are powerful and wise, and nothing is out of reach.

Listen to Me

25 Jul

We know what’s best for us and what we want to do with our lives.  We know where we want to go and what we want to achieve.  Because we are effective in managing our own lives, sometimes we may think we can help others manage theirs.  Maybe we see them making the same mistake over and over again, and decide to give them advice we think will help.  Sometimes we may really have the answers for someone else’s problems, but that doesn’t mean we can tell them what to do.  If we care for them we can certainly offer our help and give them advice that may assist them.  But once we’ve done that it’s up to them to follow it or not.  They might listen to us or they may ignore the advice.  Their decisions belong to them and even if the counsel we’ve offered is helpful, they may choose their own way.  It can be frustrating to see someone we care about stumble when we’re trying to help them but their decisions are theirs to make.  We can’t make them listen to us.  They have the right to choose.  The best we can do is offer our sincerest advice and then let it go.

We can’t possibly know everything about anyone but ourselves and have only an external view of other people’s lives. We can see what they are doing and if they share confidences with us we may have some insight into how they’re feeling.  But we will never know the entire story.  We can’t know their private desires or intentions.  All we can see is what’s on the outside and we can only give advice based on that.  If they want to listen to us they may, but their lives belong to them and every decision they make is their responsibility.  They will make them based on their personal choices and not someone else’s.  Although we may want to help, in the end the choice is theirs.  We are all certainly smart enough to figure out what’s best for us and even if we falter and make a mistake, we can find our way again.

When we put pressure on others to comply with a suggestion we’ve made and it’s something they don’t want to do, they may feel worried and concerned about telling us they don’t want to do what we’re asking.  If we’re very close to them they may be concerned about how a refusal will affect the relationship and how we will respond.  But if they have other ideas about their life and feel confident about them they can clearly decline any suggestion.  We may not appreciate their refusal to go along but we can respect them for standing up for their decisions.  We own our own lives and can manage them and design them any way we want to.  We can do things our way with confidence and grace, and face whatever comes.  If we falter, we will correct our course.  We can give advice and when we get it we may take it or decline it.  The choice is ours.

Today if you feel compelled to tell someone else how they should move forward or how they should do something, you may offer your advice.  You may give sound reasons for why you believe this is the right way for them to go.  Give your suggestions and then let them choose.  They will hear you and appreciate your concern but they must choose for themselves.  Honor that and support them as you move forward.


6 Apr

As we go through our lives there may be times when we’re asked to do things we may not be enthusiastic about or aren’t sure we want to do. It could be something personal, something involving our families, or something in the professional arena. Whatever it is, there may be others who try to convince us we need to do it, or who try to make us do it. Unless the person asking has authority over us we don’t have to comply with any request. But it can be hard to say no when those who want compliance are close to us. They may try to control us or manipulate us into doing what they want. If their influence is strong enough we may acquiesce. But if we do, we may not be happy. When we have feelings for someone, we can be vulnerable. If they ask us for something and we aren’t convinced the request is in our best interest, but do it anyway, it may damage the relationship. We all get to make our own decisions. We can choose anything we like and if we choose things we don’t want, we may have regrets later. If things don’t go well we may say we were made to comply but that’s not completely true. The fact is we are in control of our own lives. If we acquiesce and do something we don’t want to do, we are choosing that path. And when we do, we also choose where it takes us. If we aren’t convinced the decision is in our best interest, no matter who is pushing it, we need to choose what’s best for us.

Influence is a powerful tool. When we love someone we want them to be happy. If they ask us for something we often want to comply. But if they want something we don’t want to give it may be difficult to decide. We can choose anything we like. We can go along even when we don’t want to, or we can decline. If we go along and things don’t work out and we get hurt, we may blame the requestor. However, that’s not fair. We make our own decisions and if we chose to go along, we own the results of that choice. We are accountable for every decision we make. If we don’t want to do something and do it anyway, we own it.

Learning to be genuine and honest in all our dealings takes determination. If we honestly decide what we want to do and where we want to go, there may be times when others disagree. If they want us to go another way and we refuse, they may not be happy. But being honest in every choice keeps us on the road we want to travel. If we take a detour to do something chosen by someone else, we may end up going somewhere we don’t want to go. Although some will be annoyed when we don’t comply, we can respectfully decline any request that isn’t right for us. If we are honest in every situation our lives will reflect what we want most, and take us to the destination we choose. We are entitled to live our lives any way we like. If that isn’t what someone else wants, we can still choose our own path.

Today if you’re being influenced to do something you aren’t sure about you may decline. You have the right to make the best choices for yourself and choose where you want to go. This is your day. You are capable of doing anything you like. Design the life you want most and you’ll find true happiness.

Hiding Places

29 Feb

Life is full of challenges. We face some sort of challenge every day and sometimes they are difficult for us to manage. If they seem too hard we might decide that instead of facing them we’ll hide. There are limitless places to hide if we want to. If we have a relationship issue we don’t want to face, we can hide by working long hours so we’re unavailable to talk about it. If we don’t want to see someone, we may hide by creating unexpected complications that prevent us from meeting them.  We can hide in limitless ways when we don’t want to face something. But if we want to be the best we can be we have to be willing to face whatever comes to us. We are capable of managing anything we encounter but we may forget that if we’re threatened or afraid of the outcome.  But hiding never works. All it does is delay the inevitable, and trying to hide indefinitely is exhausting. The best we can do when things get difficult is determine to face them head on, no matter what comes. We’ll have to confront our problems at some point. It’s best to do it when they first appear because aren’t going away until we solve them. We are wise enough, brave enough, and smart enough to face whatever the issue is, and find an acceptable resolution.

Truth is truth and no matter what we do, it will always surface. Looking the other way or pretending it doesn’t exist changes nothing. Hiding from the truth only prevents us from moving forward. If we aren’t moving forward, we’re either standing still or going backward – neither of which will take us to our goals. When things go wrong, or we’re facing developments that are difficult, the only way to get through them is to face them squarely, figure them out, resolve them, and move on. It may be painful, but we are capable of managing pain. It might be complicated, but we’re smart enough to figure anything out, and it might take some time, but as we process the problem we’re moving forward through it. We can handle whatever it takes.

Nothing stays the same in life. Whatever we’re going through today will be different tomorrow. We can’t control the things that come to us but if we proactively face our problems and find workable solutions to them, we can move through them. Once we’ve solved them, we can let them go, and move forward. If we hide and obsess over them instead of facing them, we force ourselves to carry them longer than we must. Carrying problems around instead of solving them gets us nowhere, and can have a negative impact on our ability to be happy. We all deserve to be happy. By courageously facing our problems, and determining the wisest path going forward, we can solve them, and find our peace again. Happiness is a gift we give to ourselves. Refusing to hide even when things get hard allows us to return to happiness as quickly as possible.

Today if you’ve been hiding from something that has been difficult for you, do what you must to take the first step in solving the issue. There isn’t anything you can’t manage. You are strong enough and smart enough to face anything. Face the problem and solve it. Your happiness will return and you’ll feel more confident going forward. You can do anything. Today do your best to move forward.