Tag Archives: Comply

Declining

20 Sep

“I’m disinclined to acquiesce to your request. Means “no.” Captain Barbossa, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Curse of the Black Pearl

Throughout our lives, people will ask us to do many different things. They may ask us for something for them or someone else, it might be a personal favor or a professional agreement, or it may be something entirely different. It’s easier to navigate any interaction when everyone involved agrees and there is no dissension in the ranks. When any request comes it’s up to us to decide how we want to proceed. If there’s pressure from those around us we might agree even when we don’t want to. We’re always in control of our decisions and can do whatever we feel is best for us. But politics, pressure, and even coercion may come into play and when they do we may feel we have no option but to agree. If we’re concerned about what may happen if we decline a request it will impact our ability to choose objectively. But if the decision requires us to do something we feel is unethical, immoral or illegal, or if we simply don’t want to go along, despite any pressures placed on us, we can decline. We have enough courage to say no when we want to, and never have to do anything that compromises us in any way. Our lives are ours to design and every choice we make defines who we are. We can be true to our personal best and make decisions that reflect who we want to be. The paths we choose are up to us and no matter what others around us are doing, we can go our own way.

There are endless ideas about what we should do, where we should go, how we should dress, what we should eat, and so on. There is no one perfect way to live life, and everyone is entitled to make any choices they like. We don’t need the agreement of others to choose the paths we’ll follow or what we’ll do. We can be confident in our decisions even if they don’t match those around us. Our lives belong to us and the unique interpretation we bring enhances the world and brings depth to everyone’s experience. We can be confident in our uniqueness and make decisions that reflect what we want the most.

There are endless reasons to do the things we do. It’s always easy to go along with others and follow their lead and we may certainly choose that whenever we like. But every decision we make reflects who we really are and impacts the road ahead. If we review our steps before we make them and alter our course when we need to we will more effectively reach the goals we most desire. We are the only ones who decide where we’ll go. All destinations are possible and we can choose any road to travel.

Today if you’ve been asked to do something you don’t want to do but aren’t sure about declining, remember your decisions are important and your views are valuable. You can do anything you like. All options are possible and nothing is out of reach. You are strong, wise and powerful. You can design your life any way you like. Be confident and choose the roads that will take you where you most want to go.

Listen to Me

25 Jul

We know what’s best for us and what we want to do with our lives.  We know where we want to go and what we want to achieve.  Because we are effective in managing our own lives, sometimes we may think we can help others manage theirs.  Maybe we see them making the same mistake over and over again, and decide to give them advice we think will help.  Sometimes we may really have the answers for someone else’s problems, but that doesn’t mean we can tell them what to do.  If we care for them we can certainly offer our help and give them advice that may assist them.  But once we’ve done that it’s up to them to follow it or not.  They might listen to us or they may ignore the advice.  Their decisions belong to them and even if the counsel we’ve offered is helpful, they may choose their own way.  It can be frustrating to see someone we care about stumble when we’re trying to help them but their decisions are theirs to make.  We can’t make them listen to us.  They have the right to choose.  The best we can do is offer our sincerest advice and then let it go.

We can’t possibly know everything about anyone but ourselves and have only an external view of other people’s lives. We can see what they are doing and if they share confidences with us we may have some insight into how they’re feeling.  But we will never know the entire story.  We can’t know their private desires or intentions.  All we can see is what’s on the outside and we can only give advice based on that.  If they want to listen to us they may, but their lives belong to them and every decision they make is their responsibility.  They will make them based on their personal choices and not someone else’s.  Although we may want to help, in the end the choice is theirs.  We are all certainly smart enough to figure out what’s best for us and even if we falter and make a mistake, we can find our way again.

When we put pressure on others to comply with a suggestion we’ve made and it’s something they don’t want to do, they may feel worried and concerned about telling us they don’t want to do what we’re asking.  If we’re very close to them they may be concerned about how a refusal will affect the relationship and how we will respond.  But if they have other ideas about their life and feel confident about them they can clearly decline any suggestion.  We may not appreciate their refusal to go along but we can respect them for standing up for their decisions.  We own our own lives and can manage them and design them any way we want to.  We can do things our way with confidence and grace, and face whatever comes.  If we falter, we will correct our course.  We can give advice and when we get it we may take it or decline it.  The choice is ours.

Today if you feel compelled to tell someone else how they should move forward or how they should do something, you may offer your advice.  You may give sound reasons for why you believe this is the right way for them to go.  Give your suggestions and then let them choose.  They will hear you and appreciate your concern but they must choose for themselves.  Honor that and support them as you move forward.