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Strong as Steel

15 Mar

When things are going well and we feel confident, life seems easy and we can face whatever comes. We feel strong and capable, and aware of our many abilities. People seem friendlier and our lives are comfortable and easy. Unfortunately, those times don’t last forever and eventually something goes wrong. If something goes very wrong and we are knocked down, in our sudden despair we may think we can’t manage things. We may forget how capable we are. When we think of steel we think of how hard and strong it is. But it doesn’t start out that way. It starts with rock that is ground and crushed, and then it’s heated to temperatures near 3000 degrees. There are several steps before the raw ore becomes the finished metal we’re familiar with, and each step is crucial. At the end, because of all the grinding and heating and tempering, we end up with something that is very strong and very hard. In our lives we will face challenges and trials, and as we navigate them, we go through a refining process as well. Each challenge we overcome makes us stronger and more resilient. Nobody wants to go through hard times, but just like making steel, the crushing disappointments, and heat of distress make us strong. With each trial, we burn off more behaviors that hold us back and we get closer to where we want to be. It isn’t comfortable to struggle but as we become stronger the trials become easier. We can be as strong as steel but we have to go through the fire to get there.

When things go wrong we have choices to make. Some people refuse to see problems in their lives. They ignore them, look the other way, talk around them, and don’t acknowledge them. They may hope the problem will work itself out, and some problems actually do. But generally when something needs to be addressed and we ignore it, it simply lies dormant waiting for us. Most problems don’t just go away on their own. If we don’t have the courage to face them when they appear, they will wait until we do. They will cling to us and hold us back from moving forward. Pretending they don’t exist doesn’t help. It’s like pretending the sun isn’t in the sky when it’s shining down on us.

It’s best to face our trials when they arrive, look at them, figure out what to do, and solve them. If they are complex and we can’t solve them today, we can take the first step in resolving them. There isn’t anything we can’t figure out and if we need to we can take the issue apart a little at a time until we’ve found all the answers. If we don’t hide from it, if we look at everything objectively, and we start moving forward through the problem we will solve it. And then we can shake it off and continue on. When we solve our problems we leave them behind. We don’t have to carry them or waste precious energy ignoring them. We can be strong as steel in our lives if we face things head on and endure whatever discomfort we must to get through. We can do anything. We aren’t going to face anything that is too difficult or too hard for us to overcome. We have everything we need right now to face whatever comes.

Today if you feel overwhelmed by an issue pressing on you, and you don’t want to face it, look at it completely. You are intelligent and capable and no matter what the problem is, you will solve it. You have everything you need to find the answers and move forward. You are strong and capable. There isn’t anything that will overcome you. You’re like steel and nothing will break you. You have everything you need. Go forward. The answers are there.

I Think I Can

22 Feb

In all our lives, there are times when we want to try something new, stretch, and reach for a goal that is beyond where we are. We think about it, we wonder about it, and sometimes it haunts us when we want to do it but haven’t started because we aren’t sure we can. If we want it badly enough, at some point we will have to stop ignoring it and start going for it. It might be a professional goal, or an educational goal, or a physical goal, or it might just be a change we want to make in our lives that will take effort. Whatever it is, before we start going forward and doing what is needed to achieve it, we must believe we can do it. It’s easy to talk ourselves out of trying something new. There are countless reasons not to attempt it. It might be hard. We may have to change our schedules. It may be inconvenient. It may take away from our personal time, or it may take a long time to achieve.  There are a thousand reasons that may come forward to discourage us from trying. But if we want to do anything, no matter what it is, we only need one reason to do it – because we want to.  And all we have to do to start is believe that we can.

We can do anything we want to do, but if we share our dreams or goals with others, we may not get positive support for our decision to try. Our friends and family love us and sometimes they think they know what’s best for us. They don’t mean to quash our dreams when we share them, but they may feel they are protecting us because we might fail. And they are right. We might fail. And if we don’t try failure is a certainty. But we won’t know what we can do unless we try. If we try and fail, we will have learned a lot as we’ve moved forward, and we can use that information to try again. If we believe we can succeed, and try our best, there is a high probability that we’ll conquer the challenge and gain the prize. It may not be easy but we are capable of taking on difficult tasks. It might take a lot of time, but the time will go by even if we aren’t striving for what we want. It might mean we have to change our personal schedules but we can handle that. We can manage anything we need to change to accommodate this challenge. We can go forward with confidence and we can succeed.

Our lives are ours to live any way we choose. We can take the easy road and keep things the same and predictable. There is nothing wrong with that if we don’t want to learn anything new and don’t want to grow. But learning is a gift we give to ourselves. It embellishes who we are, and deepens our understanding of life. Personal growth allows us to understand ourselves and those around us more completely. And that understanding goes a long way in helping us navigate the challenges that come to us. If we want to be the very best we can and get everything out of our experience here on earth we have to be willing to push ourselves. We have to believe we can do anything. If we do, we’ll enlarge our capacity for understanding, and stretch our wings to encompass anything we set out to do. They say faith precedes the miracle. We don’t get faith after we’ve succeeded. We must have faith first. We really can do anything we want to do. Anything is possible. We just have to believe.

Today if you’ve been thinking about trying something new and you really want to achieve it, you can. Start moving forward today. The first step is all you need to take. The next will follow and if you have sufficient faith, you will succeed. There isn’t anything you can’t do. Take the first step today. Let your confidence lead you all the way to the finish line.

Keeping Secrets

9 Feb

Sometimes there are things we don’t want everyone to know. They are personal and private, so we keep them to ourselves. Other times, we share those very personal things with those close to us and open up in order to gain a closer relationship. But there are times we keep secrets for different reasons. Maybe we don’t want others to know the truth of a situation because it will prevent us from getting what we want from them. Sometimes we don’t want them to know the whole story because it may change their opinion of us. Whatever our reasons, when we keep secrets they can become very powerful in our lives. They can prevent us from doing certain things, saying certain things, or acting on suggestions that would benefit us. We may think we’re just keeping a secret, but if the secret controls how we go forward, the truth is the secret is keeping us.

It’s important that we are free to make decisions any way we want to, and act on those decisions freely and openly. If our lives are filled with secrets about how we are or who we are, we cannot experience that freedom. If we want to keep the secret away from others, we have to modify our decisions to accommodate it. When we live openly and honestly, without reserve, we can build strong and effective relationships. If we’re hiding something, we may build relationships but they will never be as strong or effective as they could be. It’s like building a house on sand. The foundation may look strong, and we might even use very strong stone, but sands shift with wind and rain, and when they do, the foundation becomes unstable and eventually the house will fall. The same is true of our relationships. If they are built on a foundation of secrecy when the winds come and the rain falls, and when everything is exposed as it really is, the relationship may fail. It’s impossible to keep a secret forever. Truth always surfaces and eventually everything will be laid open. When that happens the lives we’ve built may tumble and we may lose everything we thought we had.

We don’t have to tell everyone everything about us. There are personal things we all want to keep to ourselves, and we’re entitled to do so. But if we have secrets that could affect our relationships, it’s far better to simply state them, and move forward. Those who care about us will understand our fears and concerns and will respect us for sharing. If we have a secret related to our past that we don’t want to share, and it comes up, we can say it’s a private matter we aren’t comfortable discussing. We don’t have to tell things we’re uncomfortable with, but being open about an experience – even if we don’t tell all the details – will enable others to trust us, and will help us build strong connections. We can be private, and still not be controlled by secrecy. We deserve to live our lives openly and without controls. We can do that more effectively without keeping secrets.

Today if you’ve been keeping a secret and find that it’s controlling you and your decisions, let it go. You can keep personal details to yourself, but choose to live openly and without reserve. Nobody’s life is perfect. You are lovable and wonderful just as you are. There is no need to hide anything. Be courageous. Everyone will love and respect you for your honesty and faith going forward.

Locked Away

8 Feb

When things go wrong in our lives, and we get hurt, it’s sometimes hard to see past the pain. We may become cautious going forward, fearful of what could happen. Things can always go wrong, but they can go right too. If we’ve been hurt and are afraid we may forget that. Sometimes after a big disappointment we might determine in order to be safe from additional pain, to lock ourselves away. It seems reasonable that if we don’t allow people to get close to us, they can’t hurt us, and we can protect ourselves going forward. The problem with that thinking is our greatest pleasures in this life come from the close relationships we build with others. If we lock ourselves away, we might prevent getting hurt, but we’ll also prevent getting close. In the big overall scheme of things, that’s a huge price to pay for emotional safety. Is it worth it? Only we can answer that, but it seems the price is greater than the reward it offers. There is no doubt that getting hurt is painful, but living a life on the periphery, unable to connect to others is a superficial existence. If we want a deep, rich, experience here, we have to be willing to get close to others, and face the possibility of getting hurt.

There are no guarantees in this life. We can try our best to know those close to us, and understand them, but people don’t always show us everything. Sometimes we may be fooled by someone who has an agenda, or wants to keep secrets. Other times we may be hurt by someone close to us because they don’t tell us the whole story. People are complex and sometimes they aren’t as forthcoming as we would like. Anytime we open our lives, or our hearts to someone else, there is some level of risk. If we’ve taken the time to know them well, that risk may be minimized, but if they are adept at hiding facets of their personality, we may still be surprised. We all have personal choices to make. We can’t control anyone but ourselves and if someone close to us chooses to, they may hurt us. We are strong enough to accept that and still choose to build close relationships.

Having courage to move forward and trust others after a difficult and hurtful experience may take time. We don’t always want to jump back into the pool after finding a shark there. We can take all the time we need to heal, and there is no rush. But if we really want to move forward, we can’t close the door and lock it. We need to leave it open, even if only just a tiny bit. If we are brave enough to think about the possibility of new relationships, we will be open when they arrive. Being open takes courage, especially after a bad experience, but it’s the only real way we can move forward and grow. If we shut ourselves off we will be stuck where the damage was done, and being stuck doesn’t allow us to grow. It might seem wise and safe at the beginning, but it will not bring us happiness in the long run. Just because one person deeply hurt us doesn’t mean everyone will. We can be cautious, and careful, and still let others in, and in time can learn to trust again.

Today if you’ve been hurt badly and don’t want to risk opening up going forward, remember there is no guarantee that the next relationship you build will hurt you. Every relationship is different. Some relationships are wonderful and a great benefit to our lives. It’s not worth missing out on those because of one bad experience. You have a lot to offer and are worth every happiness. Trust yourself. There is a lot of good in the world. And a lot of it is waiting for you.

Despite It All

11 Jan

There are times in everyone’s life when things don’t work out. Sometimes it seems like, for reasons we can’t fathom, everything goes wrong.  Everything we try fails, every idea is wrong, and every attempt to fix the situation falls flat. At times like those it can feel like the planets have aligned against us, the stars are raining down on us, and a black cloud is following us everywhere we go. Of course, we are overstating the situation, but when we feel beset and overwhelmed, when we’re trying hard and nothing goes the way we want it to, it can feel that way. We can believe that it’s our fault, and although we know it’s a temporary situation, we may think we’ll never be right again. But everything in this life is fluid and ever changing. What we’re going through today will certainly change in some way tomorrow, maybe not the way we’re hoping it will, but it will be different. The old saying that there is a light at the end of the tunnel has a caveat – it might be an on-coming train! And that’s just how things go sometimes.  We can be in uncomfortable situations that unfortunately get worse before they get better.  But even if that happens, things will change at some point and we can begin again.

How are we supposed to manage when we feel like everything is off its axis and we’re walking around on an off kilter syncopated path that keeps twisting and mixing things up? We have choices regarding how we’ll handle the calamities that befall us all. We can hole up in our rooms, lie in bed, and pull the covers over our heads until things improve. We can get angry and snap at everyone around us because we’re unhappy, or we can try something more positive.  No matter what we’re going through we can choose how we’ll navigate it.  We can endure the trial miserably or we can see it for what it is – just a bump in the road – and face it with optimism. No trip is without problems, and no journey is without struggle. But there isn’t a problem or journey that lasts forever, so whatever disappointments we face will resolve in time. How much time that takes is different for every situation but no matter how long it takes, we have the power to manage it, and manage it well.

A bump in the road is a transient situation. Sometimes there are big potholes we have to drive around, and sometimes we don’t see them in time and our tires get stuck in them. They are annoying, and can hang us up, but they aren’t the end of the road. They aren’t our destination. They are just a complication along the way. We can navigate them and if we get stuck we can figure out how to get out again. We are resourceful and wise. There really isn’t anything we can’t manage if we give ourselves time to figure things out. If we remember that when our lives take a nose dive and we feel overwhelmed, we can put everything into the proper perspective. Nothing is forever but death, and we aren’t dead yet. So this will pass. We are more capable than we realize and we will, despite everything that’s going wrong, prevail. There isn’t a bump big enough to stop us from going forward and finding success.

Today if everything is going wrong and you feel like giving up, remember this is a temporary situation. It’s not permanent and it’s not too big for you to handle. No matter what comes you can manage it and find your way to happiness again. You have everything you need to succeed. This is just a moment. There are wonderful things just ahead.