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Yes You Can

9 Jan

Hard times come to us all. We can try to do everything right, we can try to make the best decisions, and we can try to choose wisely, but no matter what we do, things will go wrong from time to time. Sometimes they are minor adjustments in our path, simple annoyances that keep us on our toes for a while and then fade away. But other times, we may have to face very difficult circumstances where everything we thought was real is questionable, and all the security we thought we had seems to disappear. Often we have no warning that the bottom is about to fall out of our lives, and when it comes we can be stunned and frozen, unable to figure out what to do or how to get through. It’s hard to face really difficult times and our pain, worry or sorrow as we navigate them may be intense. It’s like the whole world has suddenly changed and we are in a foreign and sometimes frightening place. It takes courage to face the days, and temerity to keep going forward.

When very hard times come upon us, we may feel overwhelmed, and confused, or if it’s bad enough, we may even feel destroyed. For a time we might think we can’t get through and the situation will ruin us forever. But no matter what comes, even the worst possible scenario, we can face it and we can figure it out. It sometimes just comes down to deciding not to quit. We may not know exactly how we’re going to find our way, we may have no idea how to fix the problem and we may feel completely lost, but if we simply decide we aren’t going to quit, we will eventually succeed. Surrender is never an option if we want to be in control of our lives. We can’t prevent what comes to us, or what goes wrong, but we can control what we do. We can make any decision we want to and even in the face of disaster we can decide not to quit. We can determine to keep pushing forward and working the problem until we find our way out again.

If we find ourselves in a terrible situation that has been caused by someone else in our lives, and we’ve been desperately hurt, our relationship will certainly be affected. If it’s someone close to us, and someone we love, it will take time to decide how to go forward with or without them, and recover. We can’t control what anyone else does, and when their decisions hurt us, it has an impact on our feelings for them. If the relationship is very important to us, we may find a way to continue to be part of it, but if the damage is great, it will sometimes sever all connections between us and them. There is only so much damage any relationship can handle before it breaks. It’s devastating to lose someone close to us because of a bad decision, but sometimes that happens. We must do what is best for us and what enables us to go forward successfully. Sometimes that means changing those we share our lives with. If that happens we may grieve for some time, but eventually we’ll find our footing again and if enough time passes and we choose to, we could try to reestablish the relationship again later.

Today if you’re facing a serious setback, if your world has been rocked by something extremely difficult and you feel lost, you can manage it. You are strong enough to face whatever comes to you and you will find your way. Hang onto your courage, hold on tight, and keep going forward. Nothing lasts forever. You just need to face this moment. Tomorrow things will be better. You are brave enough to manage whatever comes today. Trust yourself. You have everything you need to succeed.

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What’s Coming

4 Jan

If you’ve ever tried skiing, you know there are times when you’re at the top of the hill and because of fog or snow, you can’t see the bottom of the hill. You know it’s there – you just left it – but it’s invisible. There is no ski lift that takes us back down the mountain and once we’re at the top we have only two options. We can ski down it, or we can walk. If we decide to ski, which most of us do, despite the inability to see the bottom of the hill, we can begin down the slope. If the fog or snow is heavy, it may be hard to see more than a couple of feet ahead. If we haven’t done the course before we will not know what’s coming. But if we have faith in our abilities, and plan every turn carefully, we can get down the hill and reach the bottom in safety. Our lives can be like that. We know where we are and where we want to go, but the distance in between the two can be foggy and hard to see. If we really want to reach our destination, we have to go forward with faith. Sometimes we come to a wall and have to re-navigate but if we take our time, and keep moving forward we will reach the destination.

When we can’t see the road ahead of us, and we aren’t exactly sure which way to start, we can be overcome with doubt and decide to stay where we are instead of venturing forth. We know the location we’re in, it’s predictable and sure. Forging ahead into the unknown can be frightening. But the truth is there isn’t anything we can’t manage. We are smart enough and strong enough to face anything that comes to us. If we really want to go forward, even if we can’t see each turn that’s coming, we can keep moving and if we come to a complication we can re-navigate and start again. Every road is within our reach and every goal is attainable if we’re willing to do what we must to achieve it. We can ignore the fear and just start moving ahead. We can push our doubts aside and have faith that although we can’t see the next bend, we will know what to do when we get there.

Not everyone will support us when we want to make a change in our lives and move in a new direction. Some may tell us it’s impossible, some may say it’s too hard, some may ask why we want to change when we’re fine where we are. But none of that matters if we know what we really want. We can forge a new road, go after a big goal, and tackle difficult challenges. The world and the future belong to those brave enough to grab it. We all have the courage we need inside us. We can do whatever we want to do. We can summon our confidence and garner our faith strongly enough to do anything. There isn’t anything too hard for us to manage, too difficult for us to figure out, or too intimidating that we can’t overcome it. We can do anything. When we believe that and begin going forward deciding we will continue no matter what, we will find success. There is nothing that will stop us.

Today if you’ve wanted to move in a new direction but have been unsure, you have everything you need to succeed. You are smart enough and strong enough to do anything you want to do. You can go forward and if you keep going forward you will succeed. Nothing can stop you when you are determined to win. You already know what you want. Start moving and you’ll get there. You deserve everything you’re seeking. Today take the first step forward to claim it.

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Baggage

2 Jan

As we navigate through our lives our experiences leave impressions on us. Sometimes they are scars from events that have hurt us, sometimes they are precious memories from times when things were wonderful, and sometimes they are just an accumulation of things we learn. Everything we experience changes us in some way, but when we have bad experiences, they may leave lasting marks that we carry with us. If the scars are painful and heavy, they can impact our lives going forward. Like baggage we can’t abandon, we pull it along with us. It might be small like an overnight bag or we may have a dozen over-sized steamer trunks we drag along. Whatever it is, it takes effort to carry it and can make it hard for us to experience joy or see the possibilities of happiness in front of us. It takes work to carry heavy baggage, it’s strenuous, and it takes concentration. We have to watch where we’re going more carefully, and navigate complicated turns with precision. It’s hard to be spontaneous, or trust that we’ll get through. When we’re carrying a lot behind us our lives are harder and we feel the weight every day.

Nobody has a perfect life. Nobody gets through without some disappointment or pain, sadness or grief. We all suffer and have bad experiences along with the good ones. It’s how we handle them that affects our lives going forward. If we’re suffering and have been hurt, we can hold onto the pain for the rest of our lives. We can carry distrust, bitterness, wariness, anger, and suspicion with us. We can keep ourselves separate from those around us and hold on to our baggage, checking it, making sure it’s still there, and keeping it close. Deep betrayal, loss of faith, intense disappointment, and pain are difficult to go through. They change us and if we let them, can paralyze our lives. We can give our control over to them, lock our security safely away, and allow them to make every personal decision we have. But we don’t have to do that.

We have the power to face whatever comes to us. Bad experiences can be conquered. Even the one thing we think we could never overcome is possible to move past. Our ability to move forward in our lives is only hampered by our own decisions. We can carry our baggage with us for as long as we want to. But when we’re ready to be happy again, we can set it down and walk away. We don’t need it to make any decisions going forward, and we can be happy if we let it go. Leaving it behind does not diminish the pain we suffered when we had it. But if we really want to be happy again, we have to let it go and walk away. We have the power to control our lives. We can’t change what’s already happened, but we can change how much we let the past determine our future. We deserve to be happy. We deserve to be free of pain. We deserve everything we are hoping for. We can do anything we want and we don’t need any previous baggage holding us back. We can leave it behind and move on.

Today if you’ve been letting something from your past determine how you’re living your life, if you’re holding onto pain or disappointment, you can let it go. You can set it down and walk away, leaving it behind as you move forward. You don’t have to carry anything with you. You have all you need to be happy and successful. Let go. You deserve only the best. You have everything you need to be happy. Embrace that.

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Our Truest Life

1 Jan

“Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake.” Henry David Thoreau

When we’re young we dream of what we’ll become when we grow up. We have fantastic fantasies about being ballerinas, astronauts, race car drivers, famous singers, and a thousand other ideas. Sometimes those dreams come true, but often because we don’t know what’s involved in realizing them, they change. Years later as we progress through our lives, learn new things, and learn about ourselves, we get a better picture of who we really are. But even then, because of the complications of life and choices we make, sometimes we don’t end up where we want to be. The roads we want to travel may be obscured by the choices of others around us, or decisions we make that take us to other destinations, or even by time itself. Sometimes we wake up and look at where we are and wonder how we got there. Of course, it’s easy to see how one turn took us to another, and how each step altered our course, but even then, when we realize we’re not where we want to be, it’s disconcerting. Life is a force and if we don’t take control of it, our days will play out and determine our direction. If we want to live our truest life, the one we really want, we have to take control. We have to wake up, look at the road we’re on, and decide which way to go from there.

Living life on “auto pilot” is easy. We’ve all done it from time to time. We get into routines, we know what to expect, and we just go through the motions. But if we live our lives that way, after a time we may forget that we have control and can determine our direction. We can decide what we want and then make choices that will bring success. We can do anything, but we won’t get where we want to be if we don’t take control. Routines can be like fog rolling in. At first we can still see our way forward and it’s just a slight annoyance. But if we let them take over our lives, the path we’re looking for becomes obscured and difficult to see. We might even stop looking because we’ve been on the same road for so long a new choice may be intimidating. But this life only comes around once. We only get one shot at today. We can play along and stay in the fog, or we can step out and forge the road we really want to travel.

Are we living our truest life? We have the power to live the life we want most. However, before we can achieve it, we must first define it. Is what we’re doing today what we really want? Is this the life that will bring us true satisfaction and happiness? If it isn’t, what is needed to change it? We can change anything in our lives that we want to. We can step off the road we’ve been traveling and move in a new direction. We can point our compass toward what we want most and turn our course. We have sufficient control over our choices and our lives to make any change we want to make. If we aren’t happy where we are, if we don’t feel fulfilled, if this isn’t where we want to be, we have the power to change it. We don’t need the approval of others and we don’t need permission. This life is ours to direct and we can go wherever we choose, and become the person we want to be.

Today if you feel like you’re on the wrong road, that you aren’t living your truest life, that you aren’t where you want to be, you can change things. Decide where you want to go and what you want to do, and then begin to modify your direction and revise your plan. You can do anything. You can make your dreams a reality. Be who you really are and bless the world with your unique gifts. There is nobody else like you. Live your truest life today.

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Making Bread

2 Dec

I have a friend who is a baker.  He makes all kinds of artisan breads and works very hard at creating new recipes that are delicious and incredible.  While visiting him recently I watched as he worked.  He made the dough and then scraped it onto his table where he proceeded to knead and work it.  At one point he picked the huge ball of dough up and slammed it against the table.  I asked him about that and he said it helped to develop the dough, making it more elastic and giving it a wonderful texture.  Later when we tasted the bread, it was amazing.  And he was right, the texture was wonderful and I have never tasted anything more perfect.  I have been thinking about that ever since.  There is a parallel to our lives in this.  We go through our days and things go right and sometimes they go wrong.  It seems our struggles knead us into something better, and there are definitely times when we feel we’re being slammed against a table!  But if we endure, and learn from our experiences, we too, just like my friend’s bread, will have an amazing texture to our lives, and become deep and well developed.

Nobody likes to go through hard times.  Nobody likes to suffer, and nobody wants bad things to come to them.  But we don’t live in Nirvana.  We live on earth and in a human existence.  We interact with others who have free will and can, and sometimes do, make decisions that impact us negatively.  We get hurt, and we struggle, but through the struggle comes strength, and knowledge, and if we’re patient, eventually wisdom.  It would be great if we could learn everything we needed to know, and grow into incredible people without suffering, but that isn’t the case.  It seems we need a refining fire to burn off our superficial pettiness, and our selfish desires.  Silversmiths work with ore putting it in a hot furnace again and again.  When asked how they know all the dross has been burned off and the silver is pure, they say they know it’s ready when they see their reflection in it.  There is nothing left to diminish the shine.  It’s the same with us.  We struggle, we feel pain and loss, and as we do small bits of what we don’t need fall away, and in the end because of what it takes to get through, we are purer than when we started.

It’s nice to dream of a perfect world where everyone loves everyone else, where we’re all respected and cared for, and where there are no tears of sadness, sorrow or loneliness.  But if we lived in such a state, if we were in paradise all the time, we would never have the opportunity to grow.  We would never really know joy because we would never know sorrow.  Joy is the absence of sorrow.  We have to experience one to understand the other.  And so, although it’s nice to think about a world where nothing goes wrong, it’s better to live in one where it does.  It’s hard to remember that when we’ve been hurt, betrayed, lied to, offended, or injured.  It’s hard to think anything good could come from our suffering, but greatness comes to us when we persevere and hold fast to what is right, even in times of trial.  Wisdom comes from experience – and the difficult experiences teach us far more than the easy ones.

Today if you feel beset by trials, if you’re suffering and feeling bad, remember you are in the refiner’s fire.  You are learning more about life and about yourself.  It might get hot and you may feel very uncomfortable for a time but it’ll never get too hot for you to handle.  You are becoming great.  You are becoming your best self.  Hang on and learn all you can.  You’re getting stronger and closer to who you really want to be.

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