Keeping Secrets

9 Feb

Sometimes there are things we don’t want everyone to know. They are personal and private, so we keep them to ourselves. Other times, we share those very personal things with those close to us and open up in order to gain a closer relationship. But there are times we keep secrets for different reasons. Maybe we don’t want others to know the truth of a situation because it will prevent us from getting what we want from them. Sometimes we don’t want them to know the whole story because it may change their opinion of us. Whatever our reasons, when we keep secrets they can become very powerful in our lives. They can prevent us from doing certain things, saying certain things, or acting on suggestions that would benefit us. We may think we’re just keeping a secret, but if the secret controls how we go forward, the truth is the secret is keeping us.

It’s important that we are free to make decisions any way we want to, and act on those decisions freely and openly. If our lives are filled with secrets about how we are or who we are, we cannot experience that freedom. If we want to keep the secret away from others, we have to modify our decisions to accommodate it. When we live openly and honestly, without reserve, we can build strong and effective relationships. If we’re hiding something, we may build relationships but they will never be as strong or effective as they could be. It’s like building a house on sand. The foundation may look strong, and we might even use very strong stone, but sands shift with wind and rain, and when they do, the foundation becomes unstable and eventually the house will fall. The same is true of our relationships. If they are built on a foundation of secrecy when the winds come and the rain falls, and when everything is exposed as it really is, the relationship may fail. It’s impossible to keep a secret forever. Truth always surfaces and eventually everything will be laid open. When that happens the lives we’ve built may tumble and we may lose everything we thought we had.

We don’t have to tell everyone everything about us. There are personal things we all want to keep to ourselves, and we’re entitled to do so. But if we have secrets that could affect our relationships, it’s far better to simply state them, and move forward. Those who care about us will understand our fears and concerns and will respect us for sharing. If we have a secret related to our past that we don’t want to share, and it comes up, we can say it’s a private matter we aren’t comfortable discussing. We don’t have to tell things we’re uncomfortable with, but being open about an experience – even if we don’t tell all the details – will enable others to trust us, and will help us build strong connections. We can be private, and still not be controlled by secrecy. We deserve to live our lives openly and without controls. We can do that more effectively without keeping secrets.

Today if you’ve been keeping a secret and find that it’s controlling you and your decisions, let it go. You can keep personal details to yourself, but choose to live openly and without reserve. Nobody’s life is perfect. You are lovable and wonderful just as you are. There is no need to hide anything. Be courageous. Everyone will love and respect you for your honesty and faith going forward.

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