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What now?

22 Jun

Sudden, and difficult changes can come into our lives unexpectedly. They are never easy to face, but sometimes it’s the way things go. I have a professional friend who had a lucrative position contracting with a large corporation, and did very well. He was successful, and happy, and looked forward to a long, and prosperous career. His boss got a big promotion, and told him it was partially due to the great work he had done. But when his boss left, and the new leader came in from another agency, she brought her own team in with her. As a contractor, my friend was not an employee of the company, and with the change in leadership, his position was no longer available. He was without a job. Though always a possibility, because he was so good at his work, he never dreamed this would happen. He was devastated, and concerned about what would happen next. Everything had suddenly changed.

When these things come, they are hard to process. Initially we may be in shock, and then we may be angry. But eventually, we have to face the situation, and figure out how to go forward. If a job is involved, time may be critical. In other situations we may have more time. Either way, we still have to face the enormous change that has come to us. We may feel lost at first, and ask, “What now?”

A drastic change in our lives can be very hard to face, very difficult to manage, and emotionally devastating. But if we look at the situation objectively, it’s really just a change in direction. The path we were on has turned, and we feel unsure because we’re on unfamiliar territory. It’s hard to find our footing when we don’t know the road. It’s hard to know where we’re going when all the landmarks have changed. But if we keep our sights set on the way forward, we can find our way. This is just an alternate route. We have enough courage to handle that, and we can figure it out. There isn’t only one way to live our lives. There are countless roads we can take. If we’re in a position of sudden change, it just means it’s time to choose another road. We just need to turn a little, and go forward a different way.

Today if you’re facing a big change, an unexpected roadblock, try not to be overwhelmed. It’s just a change in direction. You can change directions. You’ve probably done it before, and although it will feel uncomfortable for a while, you will find your way. You have everything you need to figure this out. You will navigate it step by step. Big changes are unsettling, but you can handle them. You are strong, and you are capable. Take a deep breath. Choose something new. Be fearless. The destination is still ahead. This is just a turn in the road.

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Defining Us

16 Jun

Have you ever faced a challenge you didn’t think you could conquer? Something beyond what you felt you could manage? Have you ever felt overwhelmed at a problem you had to face? These times happen to all of us. Very difficult hurdles come that at first may shake us. We may have no idea how we’re going to overcome them, or even how we’re going to face them. When these things happen, they are usually critical, and demand our attention. Even if we’re unsure, even if we’re scared, we have to look at the huge hill before us, and just start climbing.

What defines us as people? Is it what we own? Is it what we’ve done? Is it how much money we make, or how many friends we have? What makes us who we are? When we think about our strengths, and our weaknesses, we can see that every facet of our personalities has been molded, and shaped by the experiences we’ve had. Our experiences are vast as we live our lives. Every day brings something new. And each challenge we face makes us a little stronger, a little braver, and a little truer. What defines us is how we face them.

When very difficult issues come into our lives, when we are facing the dragon, and there is fire all around us, we will come face to face with our fears. What if we can’t do this? What if we fail? What if this destroys us? There are a lot of things that can go wrong when we have a lot to surmount. But if we stand strong, and take it as it comes, face each moment and conquer them one at a time, we can overcome even the hardest of challenges. As we navigate the problem, as we deal with each complication, as we unravel each puzzle, we learn new skills, and we become stronger. Because of that strength, when the next hurdle arrives, we are ready to begin again. There is nothing we can’t handle. There is nothing we can’t face. We are powerful, and we are capable. If we remember that, we will not only survive, we will thrive.

Today if you are facing something very hard, something that is threatening, and you are afraid you cannot conquer it, remember who you are. You can do anything. Be fearless. You may not get every step right, but you will eventually reach the end, and you will overcome. You have more strength than you realize. You have the very best of everything inside you. You have everything you need. Don’t forget that. You will beat this. It’s just a hill after all, and you’ve been climbing those your entire life.

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Reverse Engines

14 Jun

There comes a time in all of our lives when we realize we’ve really screwed up. We’ve made a big mistake. A huge blunder. We missed the mark, and we’ve made a mess. When we discover this, our first thought may be to wish for a time machine, and go back before everything happened. But, sadly, that isn’t possible. We’re here, and there is no way to go back. We have to face the music. It happens. And if it happens in such a way that we’ve affected others, it can be really uncomfortable. It’s hard to face a bad situation we’ve created, and even harder to know how to go about fixing one. It’s not really the end of the world – but for a while, it can feel like it is.

When this happens, we have choices. Instead of facing it, we could ignore the situation. Pretend like it didn’t happen. Look the other way, and wait to see if it’ll just fade as time passes. This is the worst decision we could make. Ignoring a situation never makes it go away. If we don’t do that, we could blame someone else, or make excuses, or make up a story that takes the blame away from us. Of course, that won’t work because dodging what we’ve done won’t change anything. Blaming others, or making excuses will just make things worse.

The only way to get through a situation like this is to be completely honest. We made a mistake. We can give our reasons for why we did what we did, but the fact is, we made a mistake. If criticisms and judgments come from others, we need to hear them. If relationships are damaged, we need to do what we can to repair them. If we’ve lost material goods, we need to try to restore them. We must, at every point, choose to be honest, accept our responsibility for what’s happened, and do whatever we can to turn things around. It’s never easy to clean up after a big mistake. It can be embarrassing, humiliating, and painful. But if we’re the one who made the mess, we own it, and we’re responsible for fixing it.

Today if you’re under the gun for a mistake you’ve made, decide to be as honest as possible. Face what has happened, and be open to whatever it takes to fix the situation. You may be uncomfortable, but you can handle that. If you are honest and forthcoming about your involvement, and willing to do what is needed to correct things, others will respond more positively. This won’t last forever. You will learn new things as you go through this difficult passage, and at the end of it, if you’ve chosen well, you’ll be happy with how you handled it. Everyone takes a left turn from time to time. It’s okay. Now you know where that road goes. You won’t make the same mistake again.

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Face in the Wind

29 May

Human beings are complicated. Each one of us is different and unique. That uniqueness gives the world depth and interest, but it can also bring difficulty as we try to understand one another, cooperate with one another, and love one another. Most of us know who we are, what we want, and how we relate and react, but understanding that in others can be tricky. It takes patience and it takes time. When you add difficult circumstances and bad decisions to the mix, we may face trials that are very difficult, and we may feel daunted. Sometimes, because of our differences and the complex nature of this life, we can get into situations that are extraordinarily hard for us. When those come, we may think we can’t face them.

When we get into situations that we don’t understand, situations that hurt us, situations that are confusing and make us feel bad, we can feel lost. It’s hard to understand. Sometimes we aren’t sure which way to go. We need direction. We need inspiration. We need help to navigate and go forward. And sometimes we don’t think we can get through it. It’s too hard. It’s just too much. And trying to navigate any difficult situation when we’re convinced we can’t do it just makes it harder.

The truth is that there is nothing that will come to us that is so complex and difficult that we can’t face it. Nothing. No matter what comes to us, even the really difficult things, the really horrible things, we can face them. It will take time, and courage, but we can figure them out. We can overcome them. We may need help, and if we do, we should seek it. We can get help, we can get advice, we can think about the issue, and eventually we can solve it. All of us have been through trying times. And we will undoubtedly have more of them before we leave this life. Each trial brings experience, understanding, and growth. It would be nice if we could get all we need without trials and problems in our lives, but that is not the case. And so, we must face the hard times. We must put our faces in the wind, and walk forward. And the good news is that we can.

Today if you’re going through something hard, something really difficult, have faith. You will overcome this. You will succeed. The other side is there, waiting for you. Go forward one step at a time. Take your time. Have patience. This is just a moment. It will not last forever. Your peace will return, and you will be so much stronger after this trial has passed. Hold on. Be brave. There is nothing you can’t face. There is nothing you can’t do. You can do this.

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Take Heart

25 May

It’s a wonderful thing to fall in love with someone. We become aware of another person in ways we may never have dreamed possible. We think about them constantly, wonder what they’re doing when they’re not with us, hope to see them soon, and start to make plans. Our heart jumps when we hear their voice, and when they smile at us, the whole world seems to stop. We are consumed with thoughts of them. We can’t imagine being without them. We adore them, they delight us, and make us so happy. We’ve never been so happy.

But sometimes, something goes wrong. They turn, and decide they want to go another way – without us. They leave, and we are left broken, and bereft. We are devastated, stunned, sad, in disbelief. We feel hopeless. How can we go on? We love them so much. We need them. How is it possible they don’t feel the same about us? It’s horrible. We feel horrible, and for a time we don’t believe we’ll ever be right again.

I have a close friend who went through this some time ago. The woman he loved was everything to him. He talked about her constantly, and told me of his plans for the future with her. He loved her deeply, and couldn’t imagine ever being without her. But she decided she wanted something different, and she left. He was devastated. I sat with him as he cried. He said he didn’t think he could survive without her. He just didn’t see an end to the pain.

When we are in times of great despair it seems as though they are permanent. We think nothing will ever change, and we’ll never be happy again. But the only thing permanent is death. Everything else changes. It’s the nature of life. Even if it feels like the end for us, it’s just a passage. As I sat with my grieving friend, and listened to his sobs, I reminded him of this. Although he felt completely ruined, he was just going through a difficult passage. It wasn’t the end of the road. It was a change. A very painful, gripping, sad change, but still just a change. I told him he would navigate it, and he would survive. At the time he didn’t believe me, but time has gone by, and he has survived, and moved on. He is happy again.

When we are brokenhearted – truly brokenhearted, it can feel like our lives are over. It can be hard to breathe, much less see a future where happiness will ever be a part of our lives again. When we feel so horrible, we may be surprised that life goes on, the sun still comes up, and time still goes by. How can the world continue it’s relentless march when we are frozen in pain? It’s hard to see around the corner. It’s hard to face the days. Everything is hard. But it’s not permanent. The pain will ease. Things will get better. Happiness will return.

Today, if you are brokenhearted try to remember that. This isn’t the end for you. This is just a passage. You will get through it. You will survive, and you will be happy again. Take it moment by moment, and hold on. You will get stronger.  You’re still here. The road is still before you. There is hope, and happiness ahead. Have faith. All is not lost. All is not lost.

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