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Tag Archives: Mistakes

Maybe

12 Jun

We make millions of decisions as we go through our lives. Every day there are many things that require us to choose one thing or another. Many of the routine choices we make are inconsequential and it may not matter which way we go, but some things can be very important and weigh a lot depending on how we choose. It may not matter what shirt we wear or how we get to our destinations, but it may matter a lot whether or not we choose to go in the first place. Our lives will always be a reflection of the decisions we make. If we choose well and take roads that lead us to success we will find happiness and satisfaction. If we choose poorly or continually go around in circles of indecision instead of picking a path forward we may find confusion and disharmony. We are always in control of ourselves and every decision we make brings a result. If we don’t pay attention, or don’t care, or if we’re heavily influenced by situations or those around us, we may not make the best decisions we could. If they bring us unpleasant consequences we may be miserable in the end. Indecision can never move us forward. Saying “maybe we will,” or “maybe we won’t” is the same as doing nothing. If we want to move forward we must be proactive and confident and decide which way we’ll go. We can be thoughtful each time we choose and confidently determine the journey ahead. We have everything we need to find success and there isn’t anything too complicated for us to figure out.

When we have important decisions to make we can take the time we need to ensure we’re headed in the direction we most want to go. There’s no rush to decide but refusing to choose because we aren’t sure isn’t the same as taking time to evaluate the possibilities. Procrastinating a decision will not make it easier and continuing to go over the same facts will never change a situation. We can get all the information we need, see everything clearly, weigh all the options, and then determine what our next steps will be. We are capable of making excellent decisions and we can trust ourselves to choose wisely and move toward success.

Everybody makes mistakes and sometimes we may make a bad decision that impacts our lives negatively. We don’t know what we don’t know and there may be times when things are very different than we thought they were. We own every decision we make and blaming others or the situation when things go wrong will not improve what’s happening. If we’ve erred and are now suffering we can objectively look at all the options before us and redirect our path forward. It’s like missing an exit on the highway. We can loop back around and get it right the next time. There isn’t anything we can’t do and do well. By choosing carefully and doing what is needed to move forward we will reach any destination we desire.

Today if you’ve got a big decision looming and are unsure about how to proceed, take a look at all the possibilities. Weigh the options carefully and determine the best road forward. You are wise and capable, and every destination is possible. Be confident. You have everything you need to find success.

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Restore Session

13 Sep

If we work with computers, and most of us do, there may be times when the system goes awry and there are glitches. Sometimes as those problems are worked out we may get a prompt asking if we want to restore the session. If we click on it the system will go back to its configuration before the issue started and we can continue on as though nothing happened. It’s great to be able to return to exactly where we were before the hiccup and go from there. When we have problems in our lives it seems it would be wonderful if we too had a “restore session” button we could push. If we did, all the things that went wrong could be forgotten and we could simply return to where we were before it all started. We wouldn’t have sorrows or scars to heal from and we could continue on without a second thought. Of course, that isn’t possible and whatever we experience we carry forward with us. If we got tangled up and entwined in a situation we have to change, we have to find our way out. And all the feelings and emotions we’ve experienced will color our pathway forward. There is no way to escape any experiences we have in life. They become part of us and even if we try to forget, there will always be something that has changed because of them.

After a bad experience we may desperately want to forget what’s happened. We may try to push every thought that reminds us out of our heads, and press forward with dogged determination. We might be successful in forgetting most of it but we will never be able to return to exactly how we were before things went wrong. We change with everything we encounter. Sometimes the changes are far reaching and affect us greatly going forward, and sometimes they are subtler. Everything impacts us in some way. How we manage that will often determine how happy we are. We can change anything but the past. It is there forever. If it’s a bad memory, we will carry it forward but we can find ways to navigate it successfully.

We can learn something of value from most of our experiences. There is generally at least one lesson we can take with us that will help us in the future. We might understand ourselves a little more deeply because of what’s happened. Or we might understand relationships better, or how to give and take more effectively, or we may see where we need to improve to find greater success. Every experience brings lessons to learn. Some of them will apply to us and if we are wise we will take the opportunity to evaluate them and learn from them. Learning from our past can help us prevent repeating old mistakes again and again, and bring us greater success and more happiness going forward. We can learn all we can when things go wrong and if we do we’ll find increased understanding in the future.

Today if you’re going through a difficult situation and wish it would just disappear, you have everything you need to prevail. There is value in struggle and you are learning new ways to cope. Learn all you can from this experience and take the lessons with you going forward. You will get closer to the person you most want to be and happiness will follow.

Intervention

10 Mar

We’ve all heard of interventions, and maybe seen them on television or witnessed them in real life. They are done in an effort to change or improve a situation with someone, and are sometimes used to help people who struggle with addictions, or who have trouble facing the truth about something. Often they are initiated by family members or other loved ones worried about someone close to them. One of the first things done in this situation is telling the complete truth about what is happening. Seeing everything as it is begins the process of change. Sometimes we may have times in our lives when we need to make a drastic change or face something very difficult. We don’t need to go through a formal intervention to face our situation and move forward. If we are ready and really want to turn our lives we can facilitate the change ourselves. All we have to do is decide it’s time to begin. We know what’s best for us, and we know when we’re on the wrong road. We know when we’re not being honest with ourselves, and we know what we need to do. Once we decide to change, the process of turning can begin. It doesn’t matter how we do it or how long it takes. What’s important is that we’re ready to start.

Most of us are honest with those around us. We try to be fair, wait our turn in line, pay our bills on time, and want to be nice. But sometimes we aren’t as kind and honest with ourselves. We expect more from ourselves than we would ever expect from others. We can be critical when we aren’t perfect, or feel shame when we don’t think we measure up. These kinds of personal judgments can prevent us from moving forward. We may even feel if we don’t do everything exactly right nobody will love us. We would never put those kinds of requirements on others. We allow for their mistakes, we don’t expect perfection, and we still care about them. But sometimes we have a double standard when it comes to expectations for ourselves. It’s important to remember that we are perfect just like we are now. We don’t have to be the best, the fastest, the tallest, the smartest, or the most successful to be loved. We have unique gifts and talents that nobody else possesses, and we already have a lot to offer. We are lovable just as we are.

Being honest with ourselves isn’t always easy. If we want to really know who we are, we have to be willing to open all the secret doors we’ve kept shut, and pull the curtains away letting all the light shine through. We need to look at what we’re actually doing and decide if it’s what we really want. If it isn’t, we can make decisions that will put us on the road that will take us where we want to go. There isn’t anything we can’t change. But first we have to be willing to see things as they are. We can’t hide behind our families, our jobs, our money, our reputations, or anything else. We can have our own personal intervention, face our reality as it exists, and then decide how to go forward. We can have any kind of life we want but we won’t achieve anything we’re looking for if we look away from where we are. We can face our lives, decide what we want to change, and move forward.

Today if you feel you aren’t where you want to be, and you aren’t sure how to move forward, stop and take a good look at your life. See everything as it is, and decide where you want to go from here. There isn’t anything you can’t do. The road is already there waiting for you. Take the first step on the journey today. There is sunshine just ahead. You have everything you need to reach it.

Missed a Step

10 Nov

Mistakes are a part of life. Despite our best efforts, we all make them from time to time. Perfection is the goal, but not the achievement, and so, sometimes we miss a step. When they are huge blunders that affect others, we feel badly, and the clean-up process can take some time. But even when we make small mistakes they can slow down our progress and we may feel frustrated. Mistakes happen and are a natural consequence of trying to find our way. What’s important isn’t the fact that we make them but how we respond to them. If we let them overcome us and undermine our confidence, they can have far reaching consequences. But if we see them for what they are, and learn as much as possible from them, they can, in the end, be blessings in disguise. After all, this life is a learning process and we are going to stumble from time to time.

Since we’re all human, and subject to error, nobody is exempt from occasionally missing the mark. It’s important to remember that when others falter and impact us. Belittling or criticizing because of a mistake will never fix the problem. Most of us don’t want to screw up, and generally try to do our best. But even with the best laid plans, sometimes things go wrong. Perhaps it’s because we didn’t get all the information we needed at the beginning. Or maybe we misjudged a situation and thought things were different than they really were. And there is always the possibility that someone else influences the decision and causes us to fail. There are a thousand ways to bungle every choice we make and none of us is immune.

Learning to be patient when we stumble is sometimes difficult, especially if we’re trying to impress or improve ourselves. It’s hard to face a setback when we’re trying hard to move forward. But the course of our lives will never be exactly even and predictable. We need patience to help us through the bumps. Sometimes it’s easier to forgive others than it is to forgive ourselves, but we deserve the same consideration we extend. We can do everything in our power to make sure our decisions are flawless and sometimes we’ll succeed. But sometimes we are going to falter, and when that happens it’s important to remember all the times we did things well. Nobody is right or wrong all the time. We get some of each – all the time.

Today if you’re feeling bad because you made a mistake, and you’ve lost some confidence, don’t forget all the times you got it right. You make great decisions, and most of the time you succeed. If you’ve had a stumble, correct your course and go forward with courage. You haven’t lost everything. You really can do anything. You know what needs to be done. Stand up straight and start again.

Reverse Engines

14 Jun

There comes a time in all of our lives when we realize we’ve really screwed up. We’ve made a big mistake. A huge blunder. We missed the mark, and we’ve made a mess. When we discover this, our first thought may be to wish for a time machine, and go back before everything happened. But, sadly, that isn’t possible. We’re here, and there is no way to go back. We have to face the music. It happens. And if it happens in such a way that we’ve affected others, it can be really uncomfortable. It’s hard to face a bad situation we’ve created, and even harder to know how to go about fixing one. It’s not really the end of the world – but for a while, it can feel like it is.

When this happens, we have choices. Instead of facing it, we could ignore the situation. Pretend like it didn’t happen. Look the other way, and wait to see if it’ll just fade as time passes. This is the worst decision we could make. Ignoring a situation never makes it go away. If we don’t do that, we could blame someone else, or make excuses, or make up a story that takes the blame away from us. Of course, that won’t work because dodging what we’ve done won’t change anything. Blaming others, or making excuses will just make things worse.

The only way to get through a situation like this is to be completely honest. We made a mistake. We can give our reasons for why we did what we did, but the fact is, we made a mistake. If criticisms and judgments come from others, we need to hear them. If relationships are damaged, we need to do what we can to repair them. If we’ve lost material goods, we need to try to restore them. We must, at every point, choose to be honest, accept our responsibility for what’s happened, and do whatever we can to turn things around. It’s never easy to clean up after a big mistake. It can be embarrassing, humiliating, and painful. But if we’re the one who made the mess, we own it, and we’re responsible for fixing it.

Today if you’re under the gun for a mistake you’ve made, decide to be as honest as possible. Face what has happened, and be open to whatever it takes to fix the situation. You may be uncomfortable, but you can handle that. If you are honest and forthcoming about your involvement, and willing to do what is needed to correct things, others will respond more positively. This won’t last forever. You will learn new things as you go through this difficult passage, and at the end of it, if you’ve chosen well, you’ll be happy with how you handled it. Everyone takes a left turn from time to time. It’s okay. Now you know where that road goes. You won’t make the same mistake again.

Value in Disaster

10 May

In 1914 Thomas Edison’s factory in West Orange, New Jersey, was destroyed by fire. Everything was gone. The building was made mostly of concrete, and nobody thought it could burn so it was insured for a small fraction of the loss. The day after the fire, Mr. Edison went to survey the damage. As he stood there seeing the complete destruction, he said, “There is great value in disaster. All our mistakes are burned up. Thank God we can start anew.” What an amazing man! What an incredible attitude! Someone else may have only seen the loss, but he saw the potential of starting again. What an great example.

We all suffer disasters of varying degrees in our lives. Some are enormous, and hard to face, and others are less destructive. Some wreck our belongings, as well as, our spirits. We may face devastating situations that take years to overcome, or we may have problems that seem disastrous at first but turn out to be workable. Whatever we face, our attitude decides how we will go forward. If we believe the situation is insurmountable, too horrible to face, and we hide from it, it may consume our lives. However, if we, like Mr. Edison, look at the other side of the coin, that it’s horrible now, but it’s also the beginning of something new, it will be easier for us to navigate it.

When we suffer through tragedies and disasters, our lives are changed permanently. We can never go back to how we were before the event happened. What was before is gone. We have to face a new reality. It may not be easy to face, but whether we face it or not, it’s still where we are. So, the best we can do is accept it, decide what we need to do to go forward, and direct our lives to accommodate the change. It’s easy to say these things, it’s easy to think about them, what isn’t easy, is to do them. But we have sufficient courage inside us, and we can handle the changes in our lives, no matter what they are.

This life has its pack of trials. People die, storms ravage, fires burn, floods invade, wars happen, and we all have our share of sorrow, and grief. In those horrible moments, we may feel that we can’t go on. We can’t face our lives now, they are too difficult. But a day goes by, and despite our intense unhappiness, we actually live through it. Then another day goes by. Then a month passes, and as it does, we being to heal. We can, with patience, and time face whatever comes to us. Some days perhaps the best we can do is just breathe in and out, and that is sufficient.

If we can try to think like Mr. Edison did when he faced utter destruction, and see a new beginning instead of just an ending, we will face our trials with more confidence, and peace. Remember that each end is the start of something new. Turn the page. It’s a new day.