Tag Archives: Addiction

Hope

12 Dec

We have a lot of different relationships and connections in our lives. They may be casual acquaintances we speak to once in a while and see only in passing, or very close and intimate. We value our close relationships and they may have deep impact on our lives. When we love someone and they make decisions that bring them unhappiness or negatively affect our relationship with them, we may hope they will change. We might talk to them about the situation and sincerely ask them to listen to our concerns. Sometimes they will and things improve, but other times we may hope in vain. It’s crushing to be in love with someone who says they love us in return but will not commit. It’s devastating to watch someone close addicted to substances that are hurting them but cannot stop. And it may be overwhelming to see someone we love make the same bad mistakes again and again, and suffer miserably. Although we may hope and pray for the changes needed to stop the suffering, the decisions of others belong to them alone. There is no way to control their choices even if they are destructive. We must evaluate the situation and determine what is best going forward. Sometimes we may stay in the relationship continuing to hope things will improve. Other times it may be important for us to go another way. We can never change anyone but ourselves. If we are in a relationship that is hurting us because of choices being made out of our control, we may choose another way forward.

We are responsible for our own happiness and there may be times when we must end a relationship in order to stay on the road that’s best for us. There is no way to carry anyone’s life but our own, and we may need to alter our course as we continue forward. They say hope springs eternal and in some ways, it does. We can always continue to hope someone will change and find success, but hope is not reality. It is only desire. Reality is what we’re living now. How we manage it will determine how happy we are. We can be loving and supportive without being part of a destructive game. We can allow others to make whatever choices they choose, and continue forward our own way.

We may be pressured to stay in a dysfunctional situation with the hope that if we do, it will improve. That might happen, but change is something that must come from within. If those we are hoping for do not want it, everything will remain the same. Staying in a damaging situation that does not change will hold us in place and prevent us from finding our own success. We can’t change anyone else no matter how much we desire or hope for it. Keeping our eyes focused clearly on what is real and what we want will bring us happiness and satisfaction.

Today if you’ve been hoping someone close to you would change to be happier or healthier, remember the change you seek cannot come from you. Be loving and kind, and supportive and caring, and continue forward. Your life is the only one you can control. Continue moving toward your goals and find success. Everything is there for you and you will reach it.

Intervention

10 Mar

We’ve all heard of interventions, and maybe seen them on television or witnessed them in real life. They are done in an effort to change or improve a situation with someone, and are sometimes used to help people who struggle with addictions, or who have trouble facing the truth about something. Often they are initiated by family members or other loved ones worried about someone close to them. One of the first things done in this situation is telling the complete truth about what is happening. Seeing everything as it is begins the process of change. Sometimes we may have times in our lives when we need to make a drastic change or face something very difficult. We don’t need to go through a formal intervention to face our situation and move forward. If we are ready and really want to turn our lives we can facilitate the change ourselves. All we have to do is decide it’s time to begin. We know what’s best for us, and we know when we’re on the wrong road. We know when we’re not being honest with ourselves, and we know what we need to do. Once we decide to change, the process of turning can begin. It doesn’t matter how we do it or how long it takes. What’s important is that we’re ready to start.

Most of us are honest with those around us. We try to be fair, wait our turn in line, pay our bills on time, and want to be nice. But sometimes we aren’t as kind and honest with ourselves. We expect more from ourselves than we would ever expect from others. We can be critical when we aren’t perfect, or feel shame when we don’t think we measure up. These kinds of personal judgments can prevent us from moving forward. We may even feel if we don’t do everything exactly right nobody will love us. We would never put those kinds of requirements on others. We allow for their mistakes, we don’t expect perfection, and we still care about them. But sometimes we have a double standard when it comes to expectations for ourselves. It’s important to remember that we are perfect just like we are now. We don’t have to be the best, the fastest, the tallest, the smartest, or the most successful to be loved. We have unique gifts and talents that nobody else possesses, and we already have a lot to offer. We are lovable just as we are.

Being honest with ourselves isn’t always easy. If we want to really know who we are, we have to be willing to open all the secret doors we’ve kept shut, and pull the curtains away letting all the light shine through. We need to look at what we’re actually doing and decide if it’s what we really want. If it isn’t, we can make decisions that will put us on the road that will take us where we want to go. There isn’t anything we can’t change. But first we have to be willing to see things as they are. We can’t hide behind our families, our jobs, our money, our reputations, or anything else. We can have our own personal intervention, face our reality as it exists, and then decide how to go forward. We can have any kind of life we want but we won’t achieve anything we’re looking for if we look away from where we are. We can face our lives, decide what we want to change, and move forward.

Today if you feel you aren’t where you want to be, and you aren’t sure how to move forward, stop and take a good look at your life. See everything as it is, and decide where you want to go from here. There isn’t anything you can’t do. The road is already there waiting for you. Take the first step on the journey today. There is sunshine just ahead. You have everything you need to reach it.