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Hope

12 Dec

We have a lot of different relationships and connections in our lives. They may be casual acquaintances we speak to once in a while and see only in passing, or very close and intimate. We value our close relationships and they may have deep impact on our lives. When we love someone and they make decisions that bring them unhappiness or negatively affect our relationship with them, we may hope they will change. We might talk to them about the situation and sincerely ask them to listen to our concerns. Sometimes they will and things improve, but other times we may hope in vain. It’s crushing to be in love with someone who says they love us in return but will not commit. It’s devastating to watch someone close addicted to substances that are hurting them but cannot stop. And it may be overwhelming to see someone we love make the same bad mistakes again and again, and suffer miserably. Although we may hope and pray for the changes needed to stop the suffering, the decisions of others belong to them alone. There is no way to control their choices even if they are destructive. We must evaluate the situation and determine what is best going forward. Sometimes we may stay in the relationship continuing to hope things will improve. Other times it may be important for us to go another way. We can never change anyone but ourselves. If we are in a relationship that is hurting us because of choices being made out of our control, we may choose another way forward.

We are responsible for our own happiness and there may be times when we must end a relationship in order to stay on the road that’s best for us. There is no way to carry anyone’s life but our own, and we may need to alter our course as we continue forward. They say hope springs eternal and in some ways, it does. We can always continue to hope someone will change and find success, but hope is not reality. It is only desire. Reality is what we’re living now. How we manage it will determine how happy we are. We can be loving and supportive without being part of a destructive game. We can allow others to make whatever choices they choose, and continue forward our own way.

We may be pressured to stay in a dysfunctional situation with the hope that if we do, it will improve. That might happen, but change is something that must come from within. If those we are hoping for do not want it, everything will remain the same. Staying in a damaging situation that does not change will hold us in place and prevent us from finding our own success. We can’t change anyone else no matter how much we desire or hope for it. Keeping our eyes focused clearly on what is real and what we want will bring us happiness and satisfaction.

Today if you’ve been hoping someone close to you would change to be happier or healthier, remember the change you seek cannot come from you. Be loving and kind, and supportive and caring, and continue forward. Your life is the only one you can control. Continue moving toward your goals and find success. Everything is there for you and you will reach it.

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