Tag Archives: Courage

Backhanded

13 Jan

We interact with a lot of people as we go through our lives. We build relationships, work along side them, and make connections through our shared experiences. Many people are sincere and open in their comments and conversations and we appreciate spending time with them. But there are others who don’t always say exactly what they mean, and instead use innuendo and make backhanded comments that leave us unsure as to what they mean or how they feel. If they are flippant or sarcastic, we might wonder if we’ve done something wrong, or if they don’t trust us for some reason. If we don’t speak clearly and state what we want, there will inevitably be confusion, and the road ahead will get cloudy. If we’re concerned about how our comments will make us look or feel superior to those around us, we may use double talk and insinuation instead of stating the facts. That way we can skirt around the issue if things get dicey. It’s disconcerting to be involved in a situation with someone who doesn’t speak openly and honestly, and instead talks around the issue instead of confronting it head on. We don’t know where we stand and may have no idea how to proceed. Everyone knows exactly how they feel in every situation, and we all have enough courage to say what we mean to clarify what’s happening. By being completely clear in our feelings and objectives, we can pave the way to our goals and find resolution to any problem. We are intelligent and have all the wisdom and courage we need to stand firm in our position and express ourselves confidently and openly. Every single destination is possible, and with focus and determination we will reach them all.

No two people are exactly alike. We all have our own preferences and ideas about how things should be done. When we’re working with others, we may differ and have diametrically opposed views about how to proceed. We can stand firm in our opinion and look for compromise, or we can cave and let others take over. What we do is up to us, but letting others drive the train will never take us where we want to go. Our desires are important and valuable. We can say what we want and move forward toward the goal.

When there is disagreement, if we don’t feel confident enough to stand up to opposition, but really want our viewpoint to prevail, we may choose to use coercion and manipulation to advance our cause. We can do anything we like, but the seeds we plant will determine what comes next. Being dishonest and manipulative may work in the beginning, but we may pay more in the end than we bargained for. By being completely clear, and saying exactly what we mean, the doors ahead will open, and we’ll reach success.

Today if you’re in a situation where you feel unsure you can prevail, be confident and state your views clearly. You are valuable and worthwhile. Tell us what you think and be courageous. You are amazing and your input is important. Step up and every door will open. All your dreams are there for you, and nothing can keep you from making them yours.

Eenie Meenie

2 Jul

We make dozens of choices every day. Some are inconsequential – what we’ll have for breakfast, what color shirt we’ll wear, or when we’ll go to the gym. Other decisions have more weight, and those take a little more thought. Generally, whatever decisions we have to make, there will be options. Sometimes there will be a lot of options, which seems like it would make the decision easier, but can actually make it harder to choose. Before we start to decide anything we first have to determine where we want things to be end at the end of the decision, and how we want things to look after we’ve decided. If we take the time to think about those things before choosing, we’ll make our decisions more confidently, and be happier with the result.

When we have heavy, difficult decisions to make, the process is usually complicated. Say you’ve been offered a great new job, and you’re excited about it, but the new position requires you to move to another state. Your friends, and family are located where you are now. The new job would be a great change for you, and even though everyone says they would support your move, you aren’t sure. Or perhaps you’re in a relationship that is fine, but not going anywhere. You feel like it’s time to move on but you know if you do that, the other person is going to be hurt. You don’t want to hurt anyone, but you really feel like it’s time for a change. What will you do? These are tough decisions to make. You have to weigh a lot. You have to consider a lot. It will take time to process all the parameters. When we are making hard decisions, it’s important that we give ourselves the time we need to evaluate everything, and then feel confident that we’ve chosen the best road forward. Jumping to answers quickly rarely works, and can cause greater complications in the end. If we take the time we need, and make our decisions after careful thought, we’ll make them more confidently.

There are times in our lives when it doesn’t matter which way we choose. Sometimes whatever we decide will be fine, and sometimes that doesn’t help. If it doesn’t matter which way we go, the decision can actually be harder to make. It seems like it would be easier, but when all the choices are good, it can be hard to choose. But if we take some time to decide what we really want, we will choose well. Making decisions is a part of our lives every day. They take practice, but often before we decide, we already know what we want to do. We already know which way we really want to go. But sometimes even knowing, we still need to take some time so we are comfortable, and then we just need the courage to choose it, and go forward.

Today if you have a decision looming that you haven’t quite determined how you’ll navigate, take some time to weigh all the options. How will your decision make you feel? How will you go forward from there? How will it affect your life? Will it take you closer to where you want to be? Take your time. Whatever you do, if you choose the path you want the most, you will be happy. You are in control of every choice you make. You have everything you need to make the best choice possible, and you will. You know what’s best for you. Choose that.

Face in the Wind

29 May

Human beings are complicated. Each one of us is different and unique. That uniqueness gives the world depth and interest, but it can also bring difficulty as we try to understand one another, cooperate with one another, and love one another. Most of us know who we are, what we want, and how we relate and react, but understanding that in others can be tricky. It takes patience and it takes time. When you add difficult circumstances and bad decisions to the mix, we may face trials that are very difficult, and we may feel daunted. Sometimes, because of our differences and the complex nature of this life, we can get into situations that are extraordinarily hard for us. When those come, we may think we can’t face them.

When we get into situations that we don’t understand, situations that hurt us, situations that are confusing and make us feel bad, we can feel lost. It’s hard to understand. Sometimes we aren’t sure which way to go. We need direction. We need inspiration. We need help to navigate and go forward. And sometimes we don’t think we can get through it. It’s too hard. It’s just too much. And trying to navigate any difficult situation when we’re convinced we can’t do it just makes it harder.

The truth is that there is nothing that will come to us that is so complex and difficult that we can’t face it. Nothing. No matter what comes to us, even the really difficult things, the really horrible things, we can face them. It will take time, and courage, but we can figure them out. We can overcome them. We may need help, and if we do, we should seek it. We can get help, we can get advice, we can think about the issue, and eventually we can solve it. All of us have been through trying times. And we will undoubtedly have more of them before we leave this life. Each trial brings experience, understanding, and growth. It would be nice if we could get all we need without trials and problems in our lives, but that is not the case. And so, we must face the hard times. We must put our faces in the wind, and walk forward. And the good news is that we can.

Today if you’re going through something hard, something really difficult, have faith. You will overcome this. You will succeed. The other side is there, waiting for you. Go forward one step at a time. Take your time. Have patience. This is just a moment. It will not last forever. Your peace will return, and you will be so much stronger after this trial has passed. Hold on. Be brave. There is nothing you can’t face. There is nothing you can’t do. You can do this.

Looking Back

18 May

As we travel through our lives, there are things we want to accomplish, goals we want to achieve, and growth we want to realize. Some of these are completed quickly, and others take a long time to achieve. We work on them day by day, month by month, and for some, year by year. Time stretches on, and we keep trying but still haven’t gotten to the place where we feel we’ve finished the task. We’re still pushing that big rock up the hill. It can seem like it will never end, and we may begin to be disheartened. We wonder if the task is too great. We wonder if we will ever get to the end. We wonder if we can continue.

During those moments of discouragement, it may be hard to see what we’ve done already, and how far we’ve actually traveled in our quest to achieve the goal. All we can see is the never ending road ahead. It seems to go on forever. There is so much yet to do. We feel like our wheels are spinning in sand. If we only look in front of us, all we can see, as far as we can see, is the distance we have yet to go.

But there is another way to look at this. We can turn around. We can stop for a moment, and turn around. Look back. Take a break from pushing forward, and look back at how far we’ve come already. Look at all the twists, and turns we’ve already navigated. See all the disappointments we’ve conquered. See all the times we nearly stopped but didn’t quit. Look at all of that. It’s been a long road. At times it’s been a hard road, and yet we’re still here. We’re still going forward. We haven’t given up. We’re still committed. If we can stop, and take a moment to see that, and realize how much we’ve accomplished already, we will be renewed. We will feel encouraged. The goal is still ahead, but we have come a long, long way.

If we only set our sights on the future, if we only concentrate on the road in front of us, it is impossible to see the growth we’ve already achieved. But that growth, all those battles already won, count for a lot. They have made us strong. They have made us courageous. They have made us confident. It is because of them that we can go on still. We need to take the time to recognize them.

Today if you start to feel you haven’t accomplished what you had hoped by now, if you feel you’ve failed in some way, stop and turn around. Look back, and see how far you’ve come. You’ve done your best, and you are exactly where you need to be at this moment. Rejoice in that. You are where you need to be at this moment. The road ahead is still there. It will always be there waiting for you. Take another step. You’re closer today than you’ve ever been. You’ll get there. Keep going.

Chicken Little

15 May

I have a friend who is a teacher and loves her work. However, her school administration isn’t supportive, and that has hurt her. She had a student who was aggressive, and bullying not only the other students, but her as well. She tried to work with him but it was useless. Fearing for her safety she went to her Principal, and explained the situation. She asked to bring the parents in to discuss the matter, but the principal flatly refused, and told her to work it out herself. She was disappointed in his response, but she had seen this behavior before. Her Principal seemed to be afraid of the students’ parents. He never wanted to call them or address behavior problems with them. One day the boy in my friend’s class pushed her off a step, and she suffered a fractured skull. The school paid for her medical expenses, but even then, refused to contact the parents, and told her not to either. She was very hurt, both physically and emotionally. In time her physical injuries have healed, but she is still hurt by her boss’s behavior. She is also worried about what will happen next.

I work in a large organization that adopts basically the same model as my friend’s school. Fear of lawsuits, and recrimination have created an environment where bad employees are not disciplined, and instead, when they cause trouble are moved to other departments . Of course, moving a problem never solves it. The leadership is afraid of problems with the union, legal complaints, and the additional expense from those, and other complications. So, instead of addressing the problem, they move it. It’s a reflection of where we are as a society, and an overall lack of courage.

Sadly, these are not uncommon stories today. Many are reluctant to address bad behavior. They decide instead to say nothing, and deal with the issue as best they can. In our litigious society where people sue others for ridiculous reasons, trying to avoid the possibility of a lawsuit is understandable. But when situations require correction, despite the risk, it needs to happen. If it doesn’t, it may lead to greater problems.

Each of us, every day, has the opportunity to set an example for excellence. We can choose the better path, and light the way for those who have gotten lost. We may not be able to change a whole mindset, but if we bravely choose the right, if we face each problem and address it appropriately, if we solve issues instead of pushing them around, others will notice. We can choose to address the problems we encounter, and set the standard for solving them instead of looking away. If we can turn the tide in our small area of influence, others will see the change for good, and may choose to address their problems too. Like dominoes falling, if we are diligent, one after the other, those around us may choose the better path. Each of us has more power to influence others than we realize. People watch us. They pay attention more than we think they do. So today, choose to be the difference. Choose to set the standard. And watch what happens.