Tag Archives: Coercion

Backhanded

13 Jan

We interact with a lot of people as we go through our lives. We build relationships, work along side them, and make connections through our shared experiences. Many people are sincere and open in their comments and conversations and we appreciate spending time with them. But there are others who don’t always say exactly what they mean, and instead use innuendo and make backhanded comments that leave us unsure as to what they mean or how they feel. If they are flippant or sarcastic, we might wonder if we’ve done something wrong, or if they don’t trust us for some reason. If we don’t speak clearly and state what we want, there will inevitably be confusion, and the road ahead will get cloudy. If we’re concerned about how our comments will make us look or feel superior to those around us, we may use double talk and insinuation instead of stating the facts. That way we can skirt around the issue if things get dicey. It’s disconcerting to be involved in a situation with someone who doesn’t speak openly and honestly, and instead talks around the issue instead of confronting it head on. We don’t know where we stand and may have no idea how to proceed. Everyone knows exactly how they feel in every situation, and we all have enough courage to say what we mean to clarify what’s happening. By being completely clear in our feelings and objectives, we can pave the way to our goals and find resolution to any problem. We are intelligent and have all the wisdom and courage we need to stand firm in our position and express ourselves confidently and openly. Every single destination is possible, and with focus and determination we will reach them all.

No two people are exactly alike. We all have our own preferences and ideas about how things should be done. When we’re working with others, we may differ and have diametrically opposed views about how to proceed. We can stand firm in our opinion and look for compromise, or we can cave and let others take over. What we do is up to us, but letting others drive the train will never take us where we want to go. Our desires are important and valuable. We can say what we want and move forward toward the goal.

When there is disagreement, if we don’t feel confident enough to stand up to opposition, but really want our viewpoint to prevail, we may choose to use coercion and manipulation to advance our cause. We can do anything we like, but the seeds we plant will determine what comes next. Being dishonest and manipulative may work in the beginning, but we may pay more in the end than we bargained for. By being completely clear, and saying exactly what we mean, the doors ahead will open, and we’ll reach success.

Today if you’re in a situation where you feel unsure you can prevail, be confident and state your views clearly. You are valuable and worthwhile. Tell us what you think and be courageous. You are amazing and your input is important. Step up and every door will open. All your dreams are there for you, and nothing can keep you from making them yours.

Out of Control

19 Dec

Life can be unexpected and we may sometimes find ourselves in situations that are uncomfortable for us. There may be moments when because of situation or circumstance, someone may try to take control of our lives in ways that are difficult to deal with. If somebody else is more forceful than we are and decisions must be made, they may take command and if we don’t speak up we may end up facing things we don’t want to do. And sometimes we don’t have control over something simply because we are outsiders and decisions were made that affect our lives that we had no way to prevent. We all want to control what we do and where we go and often that’s the case, and if we find ourselves having to do something we didn’t choose it can be difficult to navigate. We are in charge of our lives and we may choose what we do. If we don’t want to participate in a decision, we don’t have to. It may be difficult to decline and refuse if someone close to us is adamant that we join in, but if we don’t want to be a part of the plan we can say no. We know what’s best for us and can make any decision we need to ensure that’s what we get.

Some people want to control a lot in life. In group settings, they like to decide what the group will do, where they will go, and what will happen. They often feel they know more than others and their opinions are the best that can be offered. However, we have control over our lives and may take them anywhere we want to go. But our lives are the only lives we have authority over. It is inappropriate and inconsiderate to believe we know what’s best for others. We may have good suggestions and may certainly offer them, but they are suggestions and not orders. We don’t have the right to tell others how to live their lives. If someone wants control over our decisions, we may politely thank them for their ideas and explain that we will decide what is best for us. We are the only ones who know everything about what we’re doing and where we want to go. We know how to choose the best path forward and although the advice of those we care about may be valued, our decisions belong to us.

In our intimate and close relationships, our loved ones may try to control the paths we’ll take. If we don’t comply they may resort to emotional blackmail and coercion to get their way. No matter what anyone else wants us to do or how much pressure they exert we can still choose what’s best for us. We have the great privilege and responsibility of managing our lives and taking them where we most want to go and we don’t have to do anything we don’t want to do. We drive our own personal trains and we know what tracks we want to travel. We can choose well and reach any destination we desire.

Today if someone has been trying to get you to follow their lead and you are uncomfortable, you may say no. You are capable of choosing the very best paths for your life and you know what you want and need. Be confident in choosing for yourself and forging your own way. You have everything you need to succeed and be happy. You know where you want to go and you will get there.