Tag Archives: Manipulation

Making It Ours

14 May

Strong, healthy relationships embellish our lives. It’s good to build connections with others and share our lives with them, and when we do, we may find great comfort and satisfaction in their company. Most people are kind and welcoming, will value our friendship and association, and treat us with respect. But there are all kinds of people in the world, and we may get involved with someone who is unpredictable, unreliable, or dysfunctional. If we build relationships with them, and spend a lot of time interacting with them, they may create trouble and bring havoc into our lives. If we care for them, we may find ourselves excusing their bad behavior and even taking the blame for them when they act out. Making their issues ours will never fix the problem or bring us happiness. When we first get to know someone and they let us down, we may excuse it because we understand they’re struggling. As time goes by and they fail to follow through again and again, we may continue to give them additional chances and try to be patient. It’s noble to be patient with others but it’s not appropriate to constantly excuse bad behavior if it hurts us. We are valuable and should be cherished and treated with the utmost care and respect. If someone close to us continually breaks promises and leads us along time and again, it is appropriate to step away. Nothing can be gained by being constantly let down and hurt. We can be polite and kind, and let others own their problems by removing their negative influence from our lives. Dysfunctional relationships never work. We deserve complete happiness and can make decisions that will bring it to us. By valuing ourselves, we can step forward with confidence and choose the best roads moving forward. Happiness is there for us, and we have everything we need to reach it.

When we’ve been in a relationship for a long time, it may be hard to walk away even if we’re unhappy. We may feel the weight of history, friends and family may encourage us to tough it out and stay, and we may not want to hurt the other person’s feelings. A lot of things may come into play, but there are no valid reasons to stay in a relationship that isn’t working. Nothing is worth the price of our happiness. Changing direction and starting over isn’t simple, but we are smart enough and strong enough to change anything at any time.

Nobody knows the details of any relationship, but the parties involved. What people see on the outside is just a small representation of the whole picture. Our lives belong to us and we don’t need to feel compelled to explain any decision we make. We know what we want and have everything necessary to reach any goal. We are stronger and more powerful than we imagine and can do anything we desire. By trusting ourselves, and doing what is necessary to be happy, we will find great comfort and satisfaction.

Today if you’re not happy in your current situation, make a plan to change. The future is yours to design, and you deserve the best of everything. Be confident and trust yourself. Every single blessing is there for you. You are amazing and powerful, and every dream is waiting. Step forward on the road that will make them yours.

Here Ya Go

26 Mar

There are lots of people who come and go in and out of our lives. We make contacts and connections, build relationships, and interact with them continually. We may only wave in passing, or they may be important and integral to our daily lives. We’re all sharing time on the planet and each of us is experiencing our own personal events. It’s good to have others who support us when things go wrong to offer help and advice, and we can be there when someone else needs us. Our connections to one another run deeper than we think, and our presence may be all that’s needed to help someone over a trial. Everyone gets the opportunity to experience problems and trouble, and we all struggle from time to time. Our lives are our own responsibility but if we’re overwhelmed with something, and someone we trust and rely on shows up, we might try to transfer the issue over onto them. We may imagine that since they care about us, they won’t mind taking on the extra burden, and believe they could manage it better than we could anyway. We may say, “Here ya go,” pass it off to them, dust off our hands, and walk away. It’s nice to think others will willingly handle all our messy, difficult problems, but our lives belong to us, and our problems are our responsibility. We own them, even when we try to give them away. Nobody wants to face problems. Nobody wants to suffer, but this is real life, not fantasyland, and things are going to go wrong. It’s never convenient, it’s not fun and we don’t enjoy struggling, but that doesn’t mean we can’t manage the issue. We are stronger and wiser than we might think, and there isn’t anything so hard and complex we can’t figure it out. By trusting ourselves and taking things one step at a time, we will find our way through whatever comes. We are powerful and capable, and will succeed.

Guilt can be a very useful tool for manipulating others. If we’re asked to do something we don’t want to do, it may be used to get us to change our minds. They may remind us of when they helped us out of a jam, for which we were very grateful. There is always give and take in every relationship, but we’re in control of our lives. We never have to do anything we don’t want to do, and manipulation through infusing guilt into the equation, doesn’t change anything. We can be confident of our decisions, even if others disagree, and continue forward.

There may be times when we’re facing a very difficult problem and don’t know how to manage it. Instead of ignoring it and hoping it will magically disappear, or trying to find someone else who’ll take it, we can reach out for help and advice, and begin unraveling it ourselves. All the answers are there for us, and we are intelligent enough to find them. We can be confident we will prevail and push ahead toward resolution.

Today if you’re facing a difficult challenge and don’t know how to proceed, trust yourself. Ask for help and get the information and advice you need. You are more powerful than you realize, and nothing is too hard for you to manage. Be confident and stand strong. Every single blessing is there for you. Step forward and claim them.

Backhanded

13 Jan

We interact with a lot of people as we go through our lives. We build relationships, work along side them, and make connections through our shared experiences. Many people are sincere and open in their comments and conversations and we appreciate spending time with them. But there are others who don’t always say exactly what they mean, and instead use innuendo and make backhanded comments that leave us unsure as to what they mean or how they feel. If they are flippant or sarcastic, we might wonder if we’ve done something wrong, or if they don’t trust us for some reason. If we don’t speak clearly and state what we want, there will inevitably be confusion, and the road ahead will get cloudy. If we’re concerned about how our comments will make us look or feel superior to those around us, we may use double talk and insinuation instead of stating the facts. That way we can skirt around the issue if things get dicey. It’s disconcerting to be involved in a situation with someone who doesn’t speak openly and honestly, and instead talks around the issue instead of confronting it head on. We don’t know where we stand and may have no idea how to proceed. Everyone knows exactly how they feel in every situation, and we all have enough courage to say what we mean to clarify what’s happening. By being completely clear in our feelings and objectives, we can pave the way to our goals and find resolution to any problem. We are intelligent and have all the wisdom and courage we need to stand firm in our position and express ourselves confidently and openly. Every single destination is possible, and with focus and determination we will reach them all.

No two people are exactly alike. We all have our own preferences and ideas about how things should be done. When we’re working with others, we may differ and have diametrically opposed views about how to proceed. We can stand firm in our opinion and look for compromise, or we can cave and let others take over. What we do is up to us, but letting others drive the train will never take us where we want to go. Our desires are important and valuable. We can say what we want and move forward toward the goal.

When there is disagreement, if we don’t feel confident enough to stand up to opposition, but really want our viewpoint to prevail, we may choose to use coercion and manipulation to advance our cause. We can do anything we like, but the seeds we plant will determine what comes next. Being dishonest and manipulative may work in the beginning, but we may pay more in the end than we bargained for. By being completely clear, and saying exactly what we mean, the doors ahead will open, and we’ll reach success.

Today if you’re in a situation where you feel unsure you can prevail, be confident and state your views clearly. You are valuable and worthwhile. Tell us what you think and be courageous. You are amazing and your input is important. Step up and every door will open. All your dreams are there for you, and nothing can keep you from making them yours.

Hedge Fund

16 Jan

When we want something very badly and we aren’t sure we can accomplish it, we may hedge our bet to try to increase our odds. For instance, if we’re dating someone we like but aren’t sure the relationship will go anywhere, we may decide to date someone else on the side. That way, if one situation ends, we’ll have the other to fall back on. Or if we want someone to believe in us but know we can’t give them what they need, we may fabricate stories about our plans and pretend to do things in ways that will bring them closer. We may think if we can get them on board we’ll figure out how to keep them there later. Hedging our bet is a way to negate any loss that may come. In some arenas, it’s not a bad idea, but when interacting with others, it can be dangerous. Working behind the scenes may work against us. If those involved discover what we’re doing, we may lose everything. Nobody appreciates dishonesty and if our subterfuge is uncovered, the goal we’re seeking may be lost. Forever. When we want something, the best choice is to honestly and openly express our desire for it, and then do what is needed to achieve it. There isn’t anything we can’t do and we can gain whatever we’re seeking with honor. We don’t need to hedge our bet to win. We can win by doing our best.

The world is filled with all kinds of ideas. There are many ways to accomplish anything and if we choose to manipulate a situation, our options increase. If we aren’t sure we can get to our goal, we may choose to creatively shape our actions and frame our ideas in ways that make them seem more attractive. There is nothing wrong with enhancing our approach to make it more successful, but if we do it using trickery or pretense, we may get to the goal but our success may be precarious. Truth always rises and once all the facts are uncovered we may lose in the end. It does no good to gain something that slips through our fingers once our deceptive methods have been uncovered.

There are times when we may be unsure we can accomplish what we we’re seeking. We may think we don’t have the tools needed to get there or others involved will not receive us. We can talk ourselves out of any goal if our desire to achieve it isn’t strong enough. But there really isn’t anything we can’t accomplish. We have everything we need to succeed and even if we aren’t sure, we can go forward step by step and get to the goal. Manipulation, deceit, duplicity and trickery are tools for the weak. We are strong enough to move forward being honest and clear in our objective and we will succeed. We don’t need to hedge our bets. We have everything we need already.

Today if you’re thinking of manipulating a situation to get what you want, remember your integrity. You already have everything you need to succeed and you can win by being honest and sincere. There isn’t anything you can’t accomplish. Be the best you can be today and make your decisions based on the high standards you cherish. You are a gift to the world. Set the example for good and choose well.

Knowing

8 Jan

As we go through all the many experiences in our lives, we sometimes come across situations that confuse us.  Maybe we aren’t sure exactly what’s going on, or something someone says doesn’t agree with what they’re doing.  Because most of the experiences we have involve other people, and they can do anything they like even if it doesn’t make sense, it’s sometimes hard to understand situations.  Some people may pretend that things are different than they really are and try to convince us that everything is one way when in fact it’s the complete opposite.  Some people may even lie to us, and manipulate us into believing things that aren’t true.  When we’re unsure because things aren’t making sense, when we can’t believe something is happening but all the evidence points in that direction, we can feel lost.  We don’t know which way to turn.  We don’t know what to do.

When we’re confused about a situation, it’s helpful to take a step back away from it and see it more objectively.  We can more easily discern truth if our emotions aren’t involved.  When we’re tangled up and enmeshed in a situation, we may be too close to see the whole story.  If we step back just a little our vision will clear, and we may see things we couldn’t before.  People are complicated and make all kinds of decisions – both good and bad.  Their reasons are their own, and if the reason is selfish, it can hurt others.  Sometimes they don’t care if they hurt others and will continue even after they see the pain they’re causing.  And sometimes the pain is just a byproduct of what they’re trying to do.  Either way, if we’re in their crosshairs and are getting hurt, we can find out why.  We can step back and see things clearly, and then we can make the best decision going forward.

There are times when what we think is happening can be an illusion created by a situation or those involved in it.  It’s possible to be manipulated into believing things are very different than they really are.  Perhaps someone wants something from us and knows we will never give it to them unless we believe it’s for someone else so they manufacture a situation that gives that impression.  Or maybe someone wants us to do something they know we won’t agree to and make the request appear to be something entirely different.  If these things happen we can get caught going down a path we never intended to travel.  There really is no limit to what others can do or say to us.  But we can figure out the truth if we step back when we feel something isn’t right.  We can trust our instincts to know what is real, and when we’re ready, we can uncover the truth.  We will know what to do.  We have everything we need to discern the right path, and then go forward.  We can correct our course at any time, and turn back to the right direction to find peace and happiness.

Today if you feel something isn’t quite right in a situation involving you, and if you’re unsure, step back a little and see it more objectively.  Pretend you’re not involved and see everything clearly.  You’ll find the truth and you’ll know what to do.  You are insightful and wise.  You have everything you need to go forward with confidence.