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Tag Archives: Guilt

On the Inside

29 Aug

There may be times in our lives when we desire a big change.  Perhaps we’ve been through something difficult that has taken a toll on us, or we’ve been in the same place for a while and feel the need for something new, or we just want to start over.  It may seem when we’re down or things aren’t going well, a new place and a fresh start will do a lot to help us move forward.  We can always change our lives anytime we want to and there isn’t anything strong enough to hold us in place if we really want to move.  Change does help a lot of things but it can’t change what’s really going on inside us.  The fears, uncertainties, and worries we may be struggling with will follow us wherever we go and stay with us until we’re ready to face them and let them go.  A change in scenery can make us feel better for a while but real contentment comes when we’re honest with ourselves about everything we’re doing and are willing to do what is needed to address anything holding us back.  Happiness can only come from within and we have the power to be completely happy no matter where we are.  When we’re ready to face what is keeping us down and open all the doors to the secrets tucked away we’ll be able to begin on the road that will take us to contentment and peace.  Our lives are always in our control and if we aren’t happy we are the only ones who can change them.  We can remove the darkness that is keeping us from complete happiness and step into the light.  We deserve every happiness and when we’re ready to step forward we will have it.

When people are unhappy, sometimes they pull others down with them.  They say misery loves company but we don’t have to spend time with anyone who makes us miserable.  It’s nice to be helpful and offer solutions but everyone must face their issues on their own.  We will always have enough to manage in our own lives without trying to take on someone else’s troubles.  We can be compassionate and kind, and let them find their own way forward.

Guilt is a powerful tool some people use to get us to do what they want.  It’s effective but guilt is a self-inflicted injury and nobody can make us feel it.  We’re all responsible for our own decisions and there is never a need to feel guilty about anything we haven’t done.  Each day is a gift and a blessing.  Living it fully and choosing to do what we must to be happy will bring us joy and comfort.  Paying attention to how we feel on the inside and valuing our personal happiness will bring us great satisfaction and clarity.  Our lives belong to us and we can change anything we want to have the best life possible.

Today if you feel like changing everything because you’re stressed or things have gone wrong, look inside and think about what’s really happening.  Remember that your happiness comes from within and real change will come when you let yourself find it.  You deserve the very best of everything.  Open all the doors.  You are precious and valuable, and nothing is out of reach.  Trust yourself and step into the light.

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Focused

21 Mar

“I’m disinclined to acquiesce to your request.  Means no.”  Captain Barbossa, Pirates of the Caribbean

There are a lot of ways to spend our time.  We can try to plan our days around the things we want most to accomplish but we aren’t alone and others may ask us to participate and complete assignments they need help with.  It’s good to be helpful and involved but sometimes outside requests may become burdensome and take more time away from us than we are comfortable with.  There is no limit to the time others may ask us for and it’s up to us to control the situation so we are available but still able to do the things we want to do most.  When we’ve given all we can and another request is upon us, it’s appropriate to say no.  We may disappoint those asking and they may not be happy, but we are in control of our lives and must choose what is best.  We cannot move forward if we spend all our time accomplishing someone else’s goals.  We can share our time effectively and still stay true to the course we’ve set for ourselves.  There are endless opportunities available every single day and if we take advantage of every one of them we may accomplish many things but they may not take us where we want to go.  It’s possible to spend our lives doing lots of interesting things that lead us nowhere.  Some things are interesting, but other things are important.  We can do many different tasks and still keep our eyes and efforts focused on the important goals we want to achieve.  Our lives are ours to design and we are in control of every decision we make.  Staying true and focusing on the road ahead will bring us success and satisfaction.

Guilt is a powerful tool that may be used when something is intensely desired, but guilt is a self-inflicted emotion.  Nobody can really make us feel it.  We may be coerced into believing it, but the decision to let it control us is ours.  No matter how convincing the other party may be for why we must do as they ask, the choice is always ours to make.  We can do our part and still stay on our course going forward.

They say our greatest sorrow comes from giving up what we want most for what we want at the moment.  When we give away time that robs us from accomplishing what we want most in order to do what others ask, we may feel great sorrow for the time we’ve lost.  We know what we want and what we need to do.  We can be in control of our time and decisions, and choose the best road going forward.  There isn’t anything we can’t accomplish if we keep our eyes focused on the road ahead.

Today if you’ve been asked to give your time for something that will take you away from the goals you’ve set, examine the situation carefully.  You know where you are and what you need to do.  Help others and be involved, but stay true to the course you’ve set and keep your eyes on the road ahead.  All your dreams are possible and with careful planning will come true.

Saying No

20 Jan

There are times when we are asked to do things we can’t accomplish or don’t feel comfortable with. Perhaps we don’t have the time to do what is being asked, or the request is something we don’t want to be involved in. And sometimes, what we’re being asked to do is something we simply can’t do because we don’t have the skills needed to accomplish it. When someone we love asks us for something and we feel we can’t comply, it may be difficult to say no. We want to help and we want to be supportive. But if we can’t do it, it’s worse to say we will and then disappoint others because we failed than it is to simply say no at the beginning. Saying no is more difficult for some of us than it is for others. We might feel that being cooperative is imperative in our relationships and saying no will damage them. But if the relationship is healthy and there is mutual respect, declining a request will not hurt. We can feel empowered to make the best choices for ourselves, even if they aren’t the choices others would have us make. We know what’s best for us and we are entitled to have it.

When we decline a request, in their disappointment others may employ guilt to try and make us change our minds. Guilt is very powerful and if we aren’t careful, it can undermine our decisions. But guilt is a self inflicted emotion. Nobody can make us feel it. People can say things to try and inflict it upon us, and do things to encourage us to change our minds. But if we’ve made a decision that’s best for us, we need not allow guilt to enter in. There is no reason to feel guilty for making a good choice. Good choices are the best we can do, and feeling guilty for making them isn’t necessary. If we remember that and focus on going forward truthfully and with a genuine spirit, we’ll make the best decisions possible.

Sometimes we may be asked to do things that make us very uncomfortable. For instance, being asked to lie for someone else, or manipulate situations to help another get the upper hand, or cheat to help a friend – all may make us uneasy. If we go along and compromise our values to please someone else, we may hurt ourselves in the long run. Happiness comes from being true to who we are no matter what situation we’re in. However, if the person asking intently pleads with us, it may be difficult to make the best choice. At times like those, it’s helpful to step back and see the situation objectively. We already know what the best answer is, and stepping back just a little will help us find the wisdom and courage to make it. We don’t have to do anything we don’t want to do. It doesn’t matter who is asking us or what the parameters of the situation are. If we aren’t comfortable we can say no and move on. We can always make the best choices going forward.

Today if you’re being pressured to do something you don’t feel good about, you can say no. You are entitled to make your own decisions. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks you should do, you can do what is best for you. You know what you need to do and you know the right road going forward. Choose that and you’ll always be headed in the right direction.

Easy Questions Hard Answers

18 Dec

When we’re making decisions about our lives, deciding where we want to go, and what we want to do, we have to answer a lot of questions. Some are quick, and we know the answers before we even think about them but others, although they look easy at first, can be hard to answer. Questions can be deceptive. Something simple like, “What do you want to do now?” seems easy on the surface, but when the answers we choose have far reaching consequences, they can be hard to resolve. We spend so much time doing what others expect from us, what we think we should be doing, and what is required to make things work that when it comes to questions about our personal choices they can be harder to answer than they seem at first. What do we want to do now? Where do we want to go? What do we want to accomplish? How can we make it happen? These all seem like easy questions, but the answers can be elusive.

It seems we sometimes forget who we really are and what we really want. We’re busy, and trying hard to get things done, we have a lot of responsibilities, and at the end of the day we may feel like we’ve been lost in the shuffle. But if we want to be happy, really happy with our lives, and stand on the road we most want to be on, we need to think about what we really want. Do we want to spend time doing the same thing tomorrow we did today? Are we doing what’s most important to us? Are we happy? Do we feel fulfilled with how we’re spending our days? All are important questions. If our lives are too busy, we may not take time to look at them and find the answers. We need to remember what we truly want, and who we really are. Our lives belong to us and we can live them any way we want to.

Sometimes we can tangled up in situations that take us off course. Maybe we commit to a relationship that isn’t working, or we keep a job we hate, or we continue to do something that makes us miserable because others expect it. When that happens, it takes determination and courage to step away and do what is needed to turn things around. But we have sufficient determination and courage to do it. We have everything we need to change our course, and we are the only ones who can make it happen. We don’t have to convince anyone we need to change, we don’t have to come up with a dozen reasons why what we’ve been doing isn’t working, and we don’t have to feel any guilt. If we need to change, we can change. We are in control of our time and our futures. We can have the lives we want most, be the person we want to be, and live happily. The moment we decide is the perfect time to start.

Today if you’ve been doing things that aren’t working and you aren’t happy, think about what you want the most. Remember who you really are and then make the changes necessary to bring happiness into your life. Every day is a precious gift. Your gift is today. Make it work for you. Make it the way you want it to be. You deserve everything you want. Reach for it, and make it yours.