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Into the Unknown

24 Jul

What if someone offered you anything you wanted if you would do something for them?  The catch was they wouldn’t tell you what you had to do until after you agreed to doing it.  Would you take that leap?  Would you risk it to get to the prize?  It’s impossible to know what lies ahead in our lives.  We try to set things up so we feel safe, but sometimes we’re faced with a situation where we have to go forward into the unknown.  It’s disconcerting not to know where a journey is taking us, or what will happen when we get there.  It might be a great surprise that will bring us joy, or it might go the other way.   The routines of our lives give us the illusion of security, but really nothing is guaranteed.  Although it may be unsettling to do something completely new and strange, it can enhance our experiences.  If we only do the same things every day we don’t get the chance to stretch.  And stretching teaches us about life.

Sometimes we have the opportunity to take on dramatic changes in our lives.  Perhaps we are offered a new job that’s a step up, but is in a new location far different from where we’ve ever been before.  Maybe it’s an opportunity to travel to a strange and distant place where customs are vastly different from our personal experiences.  Or perhaps it’s the chance to be involved with others whose beliefs and lifestyles are extraordinarily different than our own.  Experiences like these may be foreign to us, and may cause us some discomfort as we go through them.  But if we allow ourselves the opportunity to venture into the unknown, we may learn things about ourselves and others that will be valuable.

One time I was asked to volunteer for an event at the local arena.  I didn’t know what was scheduled for that night, but I agreed to help out.  When I showed up, I discovered the event was extremely foreign to me, and the attendees were unlike anyone I was accustomed to interacting with.  I was assigned to work the concession stand for the evening with several others.  It was  interesting, and unusual to work with people who were so different than me.  Afterward I reflected on the experience.  I was way out of my comfort zone, and yet it had been rewarding.  I learned a lot about myself and those I interacted with.

Today if you’re offered the opportunity to do something you’ve never done before, something that may be somewhat unsettling, think about it before you say no.  There is a lot to be gained by stretching our experiences into areas that are unusual for us.  Try something new.  It will enhance your understanding of life, and you’ll be amazed at what you’ll learn about yourself.  This life is an adventure.  Today, stretch it a little.   Step into the unknown and take a look from the other side.  Your perspective will be enriched in ways you cannot imagine.

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The Sky is Falling

23 Jul

When we’re making plans for something we need to do or somewhere we need to go, we try to plan effectively so everything will go well.  But sometimes complications occur that are out of our control.  Sometimes it’s a small manageable glitch, but other times it seems like everything goes wrong.  The sky falls, and it’s a complete disaster.  It’s like our lives have turned into the Bermuda Triangle – everything has gone crazy, and nothing is working.   When we’re in the midst of these situations, it is very trying and difficult.  It can seem that the stars have aligned against us, and there are supernatural forces at work.  Of course, none of that is true.  We’re just going through a difficult situation that, for reasons we can’t explain, just keeps getting worse.  In the midst of the mess, it’s hard to keep going, and it’s hard to remain positive.  But sometimes we have no choice, and no matter how bad it gets, we have to trudge through it.

It’s important to reach out when we’re tormented, and feel beset.  We can ask for help.  Those who care about us want us to be safe, and happy.  They will assist us if we ask.  Sometimes we think we can handle things on our own, or we are embarrassed by the situation, and asking for help is difficult.  But if we try to face everything on our own, and it’s overwhelming, it will be much harder to solve than if we get help from others.  We’re only human, and everyone has been in situations like this.  We can get the help we need, we can get advice, and we can get assistance to navigate whatever we’re going through until we can manage it more effectively.  After things settle down we can learn from the experience and move forward.  Later when someone else is going through something similar we can return the favor and help them.  Our compassion for their situation will be enhanced by the experiences we’ve already faced.

It’s hard to cope when a lot of things go wrong at the same time.  We may find ourselves asking, “Why me?”  It can feel like we’ve been singled out for trouble.  But everyone gets the opportunity to experience these kinds of situations from time to time.  It’s never easy.  It’s never fun.  And it’s rarely expected, but we can navigate it.  It takes courage and patience, but we can handle it.  There really is nothing we will face in this life that we can’t manage.  Nobody wants to go through times like these, but when they come, we can manage them.  We are capable of handling whatever comes to us.  There is nothing that will defeat us.

Today if you are overcome with a situation that has become intense, and complicated, don’t hesitate to ask for help.  Turn to someone you trust.  Those who care about you will help and you’ll be able to get through the situation more comfortably.  You will conquer this, and you will be successful.  When the trial is over, remember how much it meant to have support when you needed it.  And then, do the same for those around you.  Remember, we’re not going through this life alone.  We’re all in this together.  Reach out when you need help, and be there when others need you.

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Look Up

18 Jul

When things are going wrong, when plans don’t work out, when we’re troubled, overwhelmed and downtrodden, it’s hard to look ahead. We have to process the disappointment, and figure things out. Sometimes the pain of where we are can be paralyzing, and we have to stop for a time before we can move again. It hurts when things go wrong. And when we’re hurting, it can be hard to think of anything but just getting through it.

Disappointment and trouble are part of life. We all wish everything would go easily, every plan would work out well, every day would be filled with sunshine and roses, but that’s not life. That’s fantasy. An active fantasy life is one thing, and real life is quite another. There will be dark days, there will be sad moments, and sometimes there may be devastating developments. When we’re going through these times, it’s important to remember that nothing lasts forever. It can feel like forever, but things change every day. Whatever is driving us down today will be different tomorrow. It might not be perfect tomorrow, it might still be difficult, but it won’t last forever. Eventually everything changes.

When we’re unhappy our demeanor is off. We walk with our heads down, we may talk more quietly, or we may scream and rant. We may feel prickly inside, agitated, and wired, or we may feel numb, depressed, and sullen. Whatever the expression, it’s off from our normal personas. Our friends and family may offer suggestions which sometimes help, and sometimes don’t.  It’s not a good time. But it’s not forever. It’s just a moment. It will pass. Eventually we’ll feel whole again. Our dispositions will return to normal, and we will find happiness once more.

Today if things aren’t going well, or something disappointing has happened, if you feel bad and you’re not yourself, it’s okay. Feeling bad is a normal response when things go wrong. If you’re walking with your head down, and feel heavy with the challenge, look up. Lift your head, and square your shoulders. This will not overcome you. You will navigate it and you will conquer it, whatever “it” is. You are strong, you are capable, and you will walk right through this to the other side. Keep looking up, and keep walking. This is just a moment. You’ve already come so far. The other side is just around the corner.

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Hit It Again

9 Jul

Have you ever had a time in your life when you were trying to make something work that just would not? Have you ever tried, and tried to push something through, something you were so sure would work, but it just wouldn’t go? Sometimes despite everything we believe, everything we do, and everything we try, sometimes things just don’t work out. It isn’t a question of intellect. It isn’t a question of determination. It’s a question of fit.

This life is filled with twists and turns, ideas, plans, and changes. We can attempt to do anything we want to. Sometimes we get an idea that seems good, but when we put it into action it just doesn’t work out. I have a friend who always wanted to live in a certain state. He was sure he would be happy there, he had read about it, thought about it, and made what he believed was a good decision to move there. But once he arrived, nothing worked out. He was stunned to learn upon arrival that because of changes in the economy, the job he had lined up had been eliminated. Although disappointed, he wasn’t too worried thinking he could find something else quickly. He had some savings, and decided to remain. However, with no income, he had to choose an apartment in a difficult location, but thinking it was only temporary he decided he could deal with that. Despite his extensive education and experience he wasn’t able to find a position right away. He got a couple of part time jobs, but they weren’t enough, and he watched as his savings dwindled to nothing. Still, he was determined to live there so he pressed forward. He pushed and pushed, trying so hard to make the decision fit, but nothing worked. After a couple of awful years, he decided he didn’t want to continue, and began looking for positions in other locations. He got an offer for a terrific job in a different state, and moved. He was disappointed with how things turned out but sometimes no matter how we plan ahead, no matter how sure we are, sometimes the plan fails. Sometimes it’s just not the right fit for us.

When this happens, it’s like trying to shove a square peg into a round hole. We push it, we hammer it, we think if we just hit it again it’ll work, but it just doesn’t fit. We need to regroup, realign, and find a square hole, which might be right next to the round one we’ve been working so hard on. Life is unpredictable. We try to make good decisions, and often we do. But sometimes we don’t know the whole story until after the decision is made. And when we finally get the whole story, we realize the decision won’t work. We can feel like failures when that happens. Why didn’t we see it? Why didn’t we know? But we haven’t really failed. We just got more information that clarified the situation for us. It may be painful, but getting the information is the most important part. And once we have it, we can start over. We can adjust the plan, and begin again.

Today if you feel you’re in the wrong place at the wrong time, and nothing is working, look at the whole picture. Are you trying to make something work that doesn’t fit you? If you are, change your direction. What do you need to do to find your place? How can you adjust things so you are happy again? Take some time to think about it, and then, make the change. Be confident. You’ll figure this out, and you’ll fix it. You deserve to be happy, and feel like your life fits. Today do what’s needed to make that happen.

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Split Second

24 Jun

Some years ago during the summer, I was in Alaska, and had gone on a fishing charter in Cook Inlet. Although it was summer, it was cold, and I was dressed in jeans, sweatshirt, coat, and boots. As we were securing the boat to the pier at the end of the trip, it drifted outward, and I reached over the water to grab the line to pull it back. Unfortunately, I lost my balance, and fell into the harbor. The water there in the summer is very cold, and being dressed as I was, I sank like a stone. I immediately began trying to swim, but with everything I was wearing, it was very difficult. As I continued to fall downward I looked up at the surface of the water, and realized that because of how I was dressed, and the temperature of the water, I might lose my life. I remember feeling great regret that I had reached out so far, and risked so much. It was a foolish decision given the weather, and the situation. Thankfully, I was able to get back to the surface, and someone pulled me out. I was severely chilled, and had to get my wet clothes off as soon as possible to prevent hypothermia. It took lots of dry, warm clothes, several cups of hot chocolate, and the rest of the day before the shivering stopped. I was lucky things worked out, but I have never forgotten the lesson. One small decision, and in a split second, everything changed.

Our lives are tentative, and this life is unpredictable. There are no guarantees. We tend to forget this from time to time. We take for granted that we will survive today, and see tomorrow, but nothing is sure. Of course, we can’t worry about all the things that could go wrong or we’d never be able to live normally, so we go through our days counting on them being safe, and successful. But sometimes, things turn, and in an instant, everything changes. We can’t predict anything. What comes, comes. We go through our lives, we have our routines, and activities, and then the unexpected happens. Things get turned upside down, and for a while we lose our footing.

Sometimes unforeseen things happen because of decisions we make, like mine when I fell into the ice cold harbor. Sometimes they happen because of decisions out of our control. Much of what we experience in this life is out of our control, and when things come that topple us, wake us up, and make us realize again that nothing is guaranteed, it can shake us deeply. Our task then is to be as ready as we can, and do our best when things go awry.

Today if you’ve been rattled by something that has unsettled your life, something that has suddenly shaken you, you may be upset but you will get through it. If it’s extraordinarily difficult, reach out for help. Get the support you need to navigate the situation so you can feel as comfortable as possible. Get into your dry clothes, and stay warm. This will last for just a moment, and then things will settle again. You are resilient enough to weather this. Being upside down is uncomfortable, there is no doubt about that. But while you’re struggling to right yourself, you will find the strength you need. You are strong enough for this. You are strong enough for anything.

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