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What Really Matters

10 Sep

Like static on the radio, there is a lot of noise in our lives. The constant background thrumming of things going by, the din of those around us, the activity that never ceases, and the continual rhythm of each day. We are distracted by the sounds, and all the things we need to do. Things go right and things go wrong, and we’re caught up in them no matter which way they turn. And as each second passes our opportunity to make a difference passes with it. What are we doing with our time? Are we making an impact? Are we being an influence for good? Sometimes it seems we aren’t even aware of the time going by, and before we know it, it’s gone.

We rush through our days, and then something happens that stops the clock. Something so important that time seems to stand still. It might be a wonderful experience like when we meet the love of our lives, or it might be something very sad as an unexpected death. When those events come to us we tune our focus and sharpen our vision. We wake up, become alert, and see everything clearly. The distractions fade, the mists of busyness lift, and we are there, completely in the moment. And we remember again what’s really important.

This life flies by quickly. We think it will last forever, and then we look up and another year has passed. What have we done during that time? Are we happy with where we are? Are we on the road we really want to be on or are we treading water? Did we look away when we had the chance to go forward? We need to remember who we are and pay attention. We only have today. Nobody knows what will come tomorrow but we can make a difference today. If we grab hold of it, if we make it count, today could be the best day of our lives. Our days are what we make of them, and we’re in control of everything we do. Take control. Do what is most important and make them count.

Today be alert to what’s happening in your life. See everything and make it the best you can. Live each moment and remember this day will never return. It will leave and never look back. Don’t worry about tomorrow. This moment is where we are. Make sure you live it the way you really want to, and focus on what’s really important. You have so much to offer. Remind the world you’re here, and be the influence you want to be.

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Going Nowhere

1 Sep

There are times in our lives when we get into situations expecting them to proceed to a certain place, but they get stalled. Perhaps it’s a relationship we had high hopes for, or maybe it’s advancement at work. It could even be a personal goal we’re working hard on, but it seems no matter how much we try, we’re stuck. We aren’t going forward. Nothing is moving. It’s disappointing when this happens, especially if the goal is very important to us. So we keep trying, and sometimes things change and we’re able to advance. But sometimes it just doesn’t work. We keep beating the dead horse hoping it will come back to life.

There are times when we just have to change direction. Sometimes what we’re seeking isn’t available to us. In relationships we aren’t the only person involved. Therefore, if the other party isn’t on the same page wanting the same things we do, we may be spinning our wheels. In our careers there are generally lots of other players in the mix. Even if we do everything we can to move forward, there may be unseen or unknown situations that prevent us from advancing. Every goal we set for ourselves, everything we hope to achieve, everything we want depends on what we do and sometimes on decisions others make.

If we’ve been stuck trying to move forward and nothing is changing, we can talk about the situation with the others involved, and try to adjust the focus. If that doesn’t work, we may have to let it go for now and move on. It may feel like a loss to do that, and admitting defeat is never easy. But we aren’t the only person in our lives and even if the goal we’re seeking is noble and good, if it depends on others to achieve it and they aren’t on board, we may have to let it go. It doesn’t mean we were wrong. It doesn’t mean we made a mistake. It just means it’s not available to us right now. Things may change in the future that will allow us to go forward, but for now, it’s a dead end.

Today if you’ve been working hard on something and you aren’t moving forward, determine if you can change the situation to enable you to succeed. If that isn’t possible, set it aside, and move on. Perhaps in the future it will be available, but focus on something else for now where you may find success. This life is filled with change and nobody knows what tomorrow will bring. All we can do is work on today. Let go of the things that are holding you back, and keep your eyes focused ahead.

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Sticks and Stones

27 Aug

Name calling is something most of us have done at one time or another. We get frustrated and angry, and before we know it an insulting and derogatory name or label directed at someone else flies out of our mouths. It often happens before we even think about it. We say it, we vent, and it’s over. Unfortunately, once it’s said it doesn’t go away, and it’s there forever. We can’t take it back. If we make a habit of calling people names, we may negatively impact our relationships. The old saying that “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me” isn’t exactly true. Being called a name is hurtful. It stings and can cause a lot of damage, especially if the other person is someone close to us.

If someone calls us something uncomplimentary, we may throw the insult back at them by calling them a name in return. That’s fair right? They started it, and we’re going to end it. But that’s not the whole story. Our negative response, if it’s strong enough, may well end the conversation, but the damage may be long lasting. There is another way. If someone we’re interacting with gets angry and calls us something derogatory, we can choose to end the encounter. We don’t have to continue the conversation, and we can instead walk away and wait to talk with them until after things have calmed down. It takes self-control not to jump into the fray and exchange barb for barb, but we can do it. If we walk away and end the discussion before the situation becomes more intense, we have a better shot at preserving the relationship.

Sometimes we get angry and are so furious we are the ones to call someone else something awful. We may regret it the moment it passes our lips, or we may regret it later when we think things through. But what’s done is done, and there’s no changing it. If we pay attention we can recognize when we’re reaching a breaking point, and stop the discussion until everyone settles down. If we do, we may prevent situations we’ll regret. It’s always easier to protect a relationship before the damage is done than it is to patch things up after there’s been a destructive complication.

Today if you’ve been called a name by someone close to you, you may be hurt and think of leaving the relationship. Try to step back and give yourself time to think. When the dust has settled and you’re calm again, you’ll make the best decision going forward. If you’re the one who’s lost their temper and said things you regret, as soon as possible talk with the others involved and apologize for anything that was inappropriate. Our relationships are important. They take time to build. It can be hard to fix things when we’ve hurt them, but it’s harder to lose them altogether. Life is a two way street. When we get into the wrong lane, we need to adjust and correct our course. You can do that. Today, choose the high road. Be the one who makes the situation right, and brings things back to center.

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Decision Time

13 Aug

Everybody has their own opinions about things. Sometimes we agree with them, and sometimes we don’t. When their opinions don’t involve us, we can disagree, and move on. But sometimes they are about us, and what we’re doing with our lives. Sometimes we get advice we haven’t asked for, and sometimes others frankly tell us what they think we should be doing. It can be uncomfortable when someone else makes a decision about our lives and strongly suggests we listen to it, especially if it’s someone we value and trust. But in the end, our lives belong to us, and the decisions about how we live them are ours to make.

Nobody knows the complete story of what we’re living but us. We have the insider’s view. No matter how close we are to others, it’s impossible for them to have our perspective. We are the ones living our lives, having our experiences, and being shaped by them. Sometimes those who care about us think they know what’s best for us. They may tell us to leave a personal relationship, or stay in it, quit our jobs or keep them, move or stay. There are all kinds of opinions out there and lots of people eager to share those opinions. If we are close to them, we may feel pressured to comply with their suggestions. We may find it difficult to say no, but saying no is our right. We have the starring roles in our lives, and only we know what we need to do.

When others project their opinions onto us and make the argument that their way is the right way, we can be polite and decline. We don’t have to give our reasons if we don’t want to, we don’t have to explain why we won’t take their advice, and we don’t have to justify our answers. We have the right and the responsibility of being in charge of our own lives. Even if everyone in our circle is screaming “Go left!” we can go right if that’s what we think is best. We have the power to control our lives. We can be loving, and thankful for suggestions, but in the end the choice is ours alone.

Today if you’re feeling pressured to make a decision you don’t think is right for you, you may decline. You can be confident in saying no. This is your life and you are the only one who knows the whole story. You can decide what’s best for you. You can live it your way. Today stand up for your decisions, and let those around you know that while you care for them, you will make your own choices. You’ll feel more empowered and you’ll be happier knowing you’re in control.

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Finding Peace

4 Aug

There are a lot of ups and downs in life. Sometimes it goes easily, and sometimes not. When we’re disappointed about the way things are going, we can find ourselves unsettled, and upset. If we’re unhappy with where we are, or what’s happening, and we desperately want something to change, it’s hard to find peace. Although we may want a change, there are times when we have no control over the issue. Nothing we can do will move it along or transform it. At times like those, it’s hard to be comfortable. We may feel impatient, and frustrated. But sometimes we have to endure things as they are, even if they aren’t the way we want, or need them to be. Eventually things may improve but until then we’re stuck. And we aren’t happy.

There is a lot we can change about our lives if we want to. We have control over what we do, and how we react. But we don’t have any control over the decisions of others. Unfortunately when someone in our circle makes a bad decision, or a decision we don’t like, and it affects us negatively, it’s hard to accept. We may fight against it. We may argue and disagree. But in the end, the only decisions we can control are our own. And sometimes that means we have to take what comes, even if it’s not what we want.

It’s helpful to remember that acceptance can bring peace. We don’t have to like a decision that’s hurting us or making us uncomfortable, but we can understand that it’s been made and we can’t change it. If we can’t change things, we have to accept them as they are. It may take time to get to acceptance, and we may have to overcome anger and disappointment, but once we decide to let it happen, we can relax, and let the stress go. We can find a way around the problem, and we can move forward. Acceptance will bring us peace – not always happiness, but peace. And peace is important in our lives.

Today if you’re struggling with something that is making you uncomfortable and you don’t have the power to change it, work on accepting the situation as it is.  Let it go, let yourself relax, and find peace. You deserve a happy and peaceful life. Acceptance will help you find it. Take a breath. Let go. And then move forward.

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